I woke up slowly with the sun in my eyes. I looked over a bit and saw that I was in a moving car. I slowly moved my head to the other side seeing it was Ian. My head hurt with every move and I felt weak. I'd never been beaten up before.
We got to my house and I heard Ian whisper.
"Hey."
His voice was soft. He must have known I had a shit day. I tried my best to get up but Ian kept me down.
"Don't try to get up. You got beat up pretty badly. Just relax, I'll take you inside. Where's your key?"
Key? Key, key, key… Oh my house key.
"Front… pocket…"
I closed my eyes feeling dizzy. I just wanted to sleep. My head was killing me.
I felt light and I opened my eyes to see Ian holding me in his arms. My front door was open and Ian was carrying me in. I leaned into his hold and took a deep breath. I couldn't control the thoughts running in my head at the moment. I felt tears start to fall and I tightened my grip on him.
"Zach…"
It took me a while to realize I said it out loud. I felt terrible. In the end, this was my fault. At this moment I knew everything.
I liked Zach. Love, maybe. But I couldn't figure that out and I probably would never be able to anymore. I had driven him away. And what for? Because I was scared of what was to come? It doesn't matter now because it's happened anyway. Life wasn't going to be easy anymore.
As we got to my house Ian slowly set me down on my couch. I groaned at hissed in pain. My side hurt. I'm sure I had a bruise there. And my left leg hurt more than usual.
"Hey where's your first aid? Or just any of your medicine and whatnot."
"Bathroom…"
I groaned again and hugged my side that hurt. I moved a bit on the couch and tried to get comfortable. Not long later Ian came back around and handed me a cup of water along with some aspirin. I slowly took the medicine and sat up a bit wincing. I looked over and saw he had some gauze and whatnot. I slowly put a hand up to my nose and saw some blood on my hand as I pulled it away.
"Damn," was all I said. By now I was getting more conscious and I stretched a bit only to immediately wince and cry in pain. Ian laughed a little and poured a bit of something on a washcloth.
"Stay still this is gonna hurt a bit."
He slowly put the washcloth to my cheek and I winced at the sting it brought. He looked directly at what I assume was a cut he was treating. His eyes looked so soft as he tended to my wounds and I felt my heart speed up a bit as he did.
"How are you so good at this?"
He scoffed. "What? taking care of cuts and bruises?"
I smiled a little. "Yeah."
"Believe it or not I used to get in a lot of fights."
I looked at him confused. He was still focusing on my injuries to not notice me staring.
"I picked fights a lot as a freshman. I ended up learning how to clean up after them. Took a while for me to get my shit straight."
I thought back to what it might have been like for him. Ian didn't join the club until late in the school year last year. I didn't know anything about him until he joined. I wouldn't have ever guessed he picked fights though.
After a while I was bandaged where I had cuts and had ointment on my bruises. We were sitting on my couch together. Ian had an arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his hold. He smelled like his jacket. It had a nice smell. Musty and a hint of chocolate maybe. Dark chocolate.
The TV was playing something from the food channel. I wasn't paying too much mind to it. I was just letting my head relax after everything that happened. My nose felt numb but that was kind of expected. Then out of nowhere a phone started buzzing. Ian shifted a bit to get his out of his pocket and saw that it was his ringing. He looked over and smiled at me before slowly getting up and walking off to take the call.
He walked off to the kitchen and I stayed on the couch practically falling asleep again. And yet I still couldn't help but overhear him.
"Hey. Yeah I got her. You didn't have to do all of that." He sighed. "Yeah I know. I'll take care of things."
I didn't understand what he was talking about and frankly it wasn't in my place to know. He has his own life and I didn't need to know everything.
He sat back down and I sat up a bit for him to place his arm back where it was and laid down into his side taking a deep breath. I wanted to ask who called or what it was about. I knew I shouldn't though. Ian rubbed his hand slowly across my arm and I felt myself relax a bit.
"So when do your parents get home?"
I looked up at Ian for a second before answering his question.
"My mom is a flight attendant. I'm not sure when she'll be home. Probably tomorrow."
"That's pretty cool. What about your dad?"
I froze a bit at the question. It took a while for me to answer him.
"He died a couple years ago."
My voice trailed off and I did my best not to think too hard on anything. I focused on the tv in front of me and bit my lip. I didn't want to start crying again.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"No, no! It's ok." I sat up and looked at him. "It doesn't bother me. He was in the army. It's always been a risk, you know?"
He stayed there looking at me. I couldn't pinpoint the emotions he was having. I didn't stop looking at his eyes though. I hope I didn't do something wrong.
Then before I knew it Ian's lips were on mine. He softly held my head and kissed me with passion. He backed up and I felt his hot breath on me. He then went back to kissing me and I kissed back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
He pulled back and looked me in my eyes. He grinned and looked to the side.
"Sorry. Probably bad timing but I couldn't stop thinking about it."
I rested my head on his chest and slowly slid my hands down to his side.
"No, it's fine. I liked it."
He put a hand on my chin and raised my head up to look at him.
"I'm glad you liked it."
***
It was dark out by now. I was looking out the glass doors in our kitchen that lead to our small backyard. I still ache but with all the advil I was taking it was bearable. I was holding myself, one hand on my good side and the other on my shoulder. It was a little cold now that the sun was down. I was wearing a tank top and sweats, my usual comfort clothes.
I felt Ian wrap his arms around my waist and kiss lightly my hand on my shoulder. I smiled and turned my head to look at him.
"What are you still doing here?"
He started to rock me side to side.
"I was wondering if I could stay the night."
I looked back out the window and sighed. I hated to admit I was starting to like him after he practically saved me. But deep down I had a thought that I'm making myself like him because I knew he was the only choice.
I walked out of his hold and stood off to the side. I rubbed my arms feeling goosebumps with how cold it was. I looked at him and shrugged.
"It's probably not the best idea. What if my mom comes home tonight?"
I wanted to be by myself right now. And at the same time I didn't think I would be ok left alone. I wanted to be held and I wanted to be ten feet away from everyone. My head was swarming with thoughts I couldn't focus on and today was one of the longest days I ever had.
Ian walked up to me and cupped my cheek.
"So what? We are together."
Yeah. By force.
"I don't want to leave you alone Jessica. I finally have you and I can feel you starting to accept me. Besides, I want to make sure you're ok after what happened today."
I looked to the side not being able to handle looking into his eyes. My chest felt tight and I held his hand on my face. My fingers played with the simple rings on his finger before I looked back at him. I didn't want to think about things right now.
I leaned in and kissed him softly. It took a while for him to respond by kissing me back. They were simple kisses at first, as if playing with the idea of what we were. He stopped and slowly leaned away looking directly at me. It was as if he was asking permission to do more. I slightly nodded my head before he went back, this time his tongue joining the party. I couldn't help but feel like crying. Because despite the taste of cherry on my lips and the smell of dark chocolate I could still only think of Zach.
I backed up to the wall behind me and ran my hands through Ian's hair getting a groan from him as a response. He liked that. My other hand laid against his chest. I felt him slowly move one hand down my side, careful not to hurt me with my bruises. I could feel his hesitation in his touch. I knew he wanted to do more but this wasn't the right time for that. He had to wait more.
He took a step back and I felt myself trying to catch my breath. I didn't realize how intense things got. I was still new to these things. I always focused on myself and never cared for a relationship beforehand and now everything was coming to me full force.
He smiled at me before dropping his head a bit.
"I promise I won't do anything. Just let me hold you tonight."
I sighed and started heading to my room.
"Alright. But you better not do anything!"
I got into my room and sat down on my bed. Ian stopped at the doorway and looked me right in the eyes before he smiled.
"You'll really let me stay?"
I rolled my eyes."Yes! Don't make me change my mind."
I walked in and jumped into bed making me fall down with him. We started laughing a little as we laid down, Ian wrapping his arms around me. I nuzzled into his chest already feeling comfortable. We laid there for a bit and I started to feel myself fall asleep.
"Promise me you won't hurt me."
I barely mumbled the words as I said them. I had my eyes closed and I curled up in his arms. I felt him take a deep breath and start to play with my hair.
"I won't ever hurt you. You're all mine."