"As expected of you, Senior! Within less than a year, you've been able to dig up the Mafia, even figuring out the secret rooms in that mansion!"
From the darkness rang a shout that penetrated even the traffic and the clang of two garbage cans not far away. The landscape was shielded with walls that were built so very long ago, shone by the night as if in a serenade to the city of neon lights.
In that dank and gloom alleyway, Aakash and I were standing close enough to each other, our reflections distorting on the low puddles.
We hadn't met for almost half a year. I had been busy I barely had the chance to go outside and free from any suspicion. And after a long way arranging our meeting, I finally decided to do it today.
"But, Senior, you look quite pale and tired. Are you okay?" Aakash reached me and I snapped inside, his hands gripping my shoulders, his mien showing concern.
To my surprise, I couldn't immediately react as I was stunned in silence for a while, confused by his compassionate gaze. After not hearing such attention for a long time, I didn't expect to receive one, so I felt strange.
"You're somehow having difficulty walking," Aakash continued, still with the same expression as before to have me listen. "Don't tell me... they're beating your legs so you won't be able to escape?!"
"Not that, airhead," I shut his mouth with my hand, sighing in annoyance for the whole absurdity I had taken seriously.
Aakash resumed his whine about how much he missed me on his birthday last month and other stuff I didn't even know exist, grumbling nonstop like a kid, unless when I believed kids should be small, not the hulking young man, five inches taller than me.
Unlike when we met in the church back then, we're not doing undercover now, so the emotions we showed were completely candid; I totally understood, that's why I preferred him to disguise than being himself.
"I'm alright," I assured. "I just... kind of feel drowsy lately."
Obviously enough, I couldn't tell Aakash about what truly happened to me in the underworld, and I would never let him figure out the truth, either. I even planned to bring this secret with me until the day I die...
Aakash still seemed quite uneasy, although he didn't say anything in response.
"I'm currently taking my sleeping medication, so I'll be fine in no time," I continued in a more convincing tone.
I lied about the medication, but to be honest, I didn't even know whether I would be fine.
Aakash is still young, and somehow I can't take the risk of making him know the truth. He is too innocent to understand my situation, too naive to pretend to not knowing once he already knew. Even so, it doesn't mean he is stupid, and that's also why I should never let the information leak. Not even to him, who is actually Green Organization's informant.
Among my juniors, Aakash probably is the most intuitive and sensitive person toward his surroundings. Noticing the change in me although it was very little, it might seem trivial, even insignificant to other people, but he mentioned it as soon as he saw it.
"So, it's been a lack of sleep... You're working so hard you even sleep very late? I'm so sorry, Senior!"
The younger pulled my shoulders in a dramatic motion and hugged me tightly, weeping noisily and uncontrollably. My face was buried on his shoulder and I tried to shove him away, knowing he was only playing around, but gave up against the vigor surrounding me, so I stayed.
Above the garbage cans, a soaking wet cat was watching with lamp-like eyes; a ring of greenish-yellow around the expanse of black, sitting in a steady feline manner, paws always ready to run, yet hardly moving despite the high wind that gusted down the street. The cars passing with headlights on, moving too fast toward the traffic lights, hitting their brakes suddenly as if the red light was a big surprise.
"The paperclips I asked you to modify, do you bring them today?" I husked on Aakash's ear, finally breaking our dull quietness, though he seemed rather unwilling to release the hug.
"Of course. I've molded them into various sizes," he shortly explained, doing as I told and I felt relieved.
"Good."
"I wonder what rooms you've found inside a house as huge as that, Senior."
"I guess most of them are storerooms. I need to check one by one, since I couldn't find anything valuable in Yerevan's office and bedroom."
"You've entered Yerevan's bedroom?! I mean, the boss' bedroom?!"
Aakash was shocked, and I thought it was understandable.
No one ever said breaking into the Mafia was easy. Even I once told him that Yerevan's mansion provided maximum security against infiltrations. But, seeing how things had turned also surprised even me.
I was hesitant to answer, but I nodded in the end.
"From now on, I'm the proudest junior on earth!" Aakash reacted positively toward the good news by hugging me tighter before finally setting me free.
He grasped my left hand with both of his hands, holding it like a trophy, his eyes glimmering in joy and I could feel the beaming exhilaration. He then handed me the paperclips I asked, inside a tiny tube similar to a pen body.
"Hmm," I hummed in wonder. "You never fail to amaze me when it comes to stuff like this, Aakash," I praised and patted his head, making the grin bloom on his face.
"Whose junior am I?" He expressed, feeling smug after his win.
"Mine," I sighed and put the paperclips into my shirt pocket just like any normal pen.
"But, Senior, you haven't been eating properly, right?"
Soon as Aakash touched my cheek alongside his serious voice, I flinched. He returned my astonished gaze with a calm one, yet somewhat somber. Being shown his earnest side, for a moment I thought he was disguising, until he leaned in closer and cupped my face with two hands.
"The Senior Angelo I know will never let himself get broken down no matter how harsh the situation is."
From the components of his language and word choice, from the metaphors he chose, he could determine my psychology and read all my private thoughts. A phrase triggered the definitions of a certain condition in my brain. At that moment, different emotions subtly affected my behavior and attitude, but I conquered them all.
"You brat, calling my name in public," I hissed in irritation, pulling the back of Aakash's head so he bowed down in front of me.
It was his punishment and a bit of reminder; I am seven years older. He sometimes forgets and gets cocky just because he is bigger and taller.
Well, checkmate for me.
I don't know what he's been eating for the past ten years to be that huge. What I know about him is a timid boy who likes to hide behind my back, gripping the shirt around my waist to conceal his face, easily crying out of the smallest thing... Gone. Such a boy has gone and no longer existed.
"We're not doing undercover now, so let me call you casually! I like your real name better than your alias!" He vented in frustration, finally removing his hands from my cheeks.
"I don't recall ever asking you your opinion about my name, so cut the craps out, kid."
"So mean- I'm not a kid anymore!"
I think of laughter as a noise that comes from the mouth, but when Aakash made me laugh, it was nothing like that. I could feel the joy was also radiating from within, from the way my body relaxed into unrestrained mirth.
Really, he just had that flexible brain, like all that humor bubbling around in him. Just being around him for a few minutes was enough to transport me far away from my worries and the tension of life.
"You're always so mean to me, but I'm fine with it because you're so cute, Senior."
"What-"
"Tiptoeing so you could grab my head... I just... can't..."
Aakash was dying to hold his giggles and I felt flushed in embarrassment toward the humiliation.
"I... I'm not that short!"
When I got flustered and annoyed, it was also when I let Aakash win. Of course, he wasn't going to show me some respect and seriousness. I let out another deep sigh.
Out of the blue, a vibrating sound was heard and Aakash startled, his face turning stern. He immediately checked his phone, eyes busy learning.
"I have to go now."
Aakash untied his hair to make it a bit messy, wearing glasses and a bucket hat. He unfolded his backpack and spread it into a jacket, covering his white shirt. He blended with the crowd as he walked away.
Just like that, his last sentence brought our meeting to an end and so we were back to our two separate worlds. Unconnected, unrelated, totally different.
In my solitude, I watched the drab alleyway. It wasn't the straight perfection of the modern buildings in the newer areas, but each curve and flaw rendered it more beautiful.
Unemotionally taking off the jacket of my suit; one full with fingerprints other than mine, I threw it into the garbage can nearby and changed into an identical one. Capturing my reflection on the cracked glass of one empty building, my mind wandering.
It's been six months and I keep counting...
The day I entered Marvel's territory was the day I was ready to leave everything behind, because the more I walked inside, the more I should eliminate every possibility to fail.
Even though I won't be able to return?
My mind was disturbingly loud even I canceled my first step to leaving the alley and I met a black cat. It was unattractively scrawny, almost more scar than fur, and stinking worse than week-old trash. Despite being alone and abandoned, its eyes were sharp and valiant, as if refusing to be pitied. Feeling the danger might be approaching, it leaped across the threshold of a deserted house and disappeared by the dark.
I stood unmoved, absent-mindedly staring at that darkness like I was captivated by it. I listened to my own sound from within, serene and steady beats, and I remembered the sensation of an aching phrase.
"Broken down, huh?"