"Do you trust her?" Ryan asked while he moved closer to me. His presence helped me relax but I was still on edge. What if Mack changes her mind and turns him in? He's helped me so much and I honestly don't know how I'd do if he got turned in. I haven't had my nightmares since Monday night and it's been nice not to wake up screaming and crying. I did but I went back to sleep not much later and it was a dreamless sleep.
"Oh shit Ryan! I have to do some of the manuscripts for work!" I throw my hands up to my hair and hold my head. I forgot due to him being around all day and then my family dinner and my confession to my friend.
"Athea, don't worry about that. Do you trust her?" He asked with authority in his voice. No wonder he was the interim mafia leader.
"Yes. She's never lied to me before and I know she won't go back on her word. She's not going to tell." I was still freaking out about the manuscripts. I let out a frustrated sigh.
"My therapist thinks that if we get in contact you should come with me. She thinks it might help." I said changing the subject. I wanted to know his opinion on the matter. I needed to know his opinion on the matter.
"Do you trust her not to say anything?"
"Yeah. She seems more interested in the fact that I wasn't returned dead. But unless your harmful to me then she can't legally tell anyone anything."
"I'm willing to go if you ask her about it tomorrow. But until I get a definite answer then I'm not going. Right now I can't because your father would try to fry me." Ryan states. I nod my head because I know my father would. I didn't trust my father not not shoot him himself or torture him.
"Okay." I say looking at him. I was scared. If he had showed up any earlier then he wouldn't be here.
"Now," Ryan grabs my chin forcing me to look up. "Let's get some of your manuscripts done so you can drop them off tomorrow after your appointment." I let out a sigh and turn to my room.
I check the time a few hours later and realize I read through all of the manuscripts I was supposed to and half of them were not what we were looking to publish. I look over to see Ryan passed out on the other end of the couch and grin. He was always up before me so I never got to see him asleep. He actually looked his age and I felt a surge of affection and adoration bubble its' way through my body.
I grab a pillow and a blanket and move him so he can lay down on the ouch and sleep. It was nice to get some help with this. He would reread what I said no to and made a really good few points on one of the manuscripts. I then reread it and changed my answer from no to yes because even though we weren't looking for that genre style I have seen a lot of books in that genre coming up in popularity. It would be a good thing for the company to branch out into other genres.
After I clean up the papers and put them on the counter I climb into bed and fall asleep. I wake up screaming an hour later and sweating. Ryan was taken from me again except this time my best friend was the reason he was gone and I was freaking out as he was being handcuffed and chained to some cinder blocks and thrown in the river. He was being drowned because my best friend turned him in.
"Hey! Athea?" Ryan slams my door open and takes in my appearance. "Are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?" He looked panicked. His hair was disheveled from sleeping and his clothes were wrinkled.
"Yeah. I'll be okay. Give me a few minutes." I say holding my hand up to keep him from moving closer to me. I need to convince myself that he is alive without feeling him. Just hearing him is okay but not enough to convince me he is okay.
A minute later he pulls me into his lap and holds me. My heart rate didn't slow down and now it felt as if it was beating even harder. He lays back and I push myself up into a sitting position and moving my legs onto either side of him causing me to straddle him. He kept his hands on my waist. This wasn't a new position for us because he pulled me back a few times due to me flinching and I would end up on top of him or tripping up and I'd fall then to get up I'd end up straddling him. The first time it happened he pushed me off not roughly but quickly and I hit my head.
I start laughing.
"What?" He smirks and plays with the hem of my shirt.
"The first time you pushed me off of you and ran off. The second time it was tense and the third time we kissed." I started laughing a little louder at the image. I roll off of him and he sits up on his elbows staring at me.
"You are insane."
"I know. But you're here and alive and not drowned at the bottom of the river."
"That's what that nightmare was about?"
"Yeah. They're the same nightmares I used to have except it's you instead of me now."
He cocks his head to the side and stares at me. I stare at the ceiling as my laughter died down and feel the mattress shift and move with his movements. I turn my head looking at him.
"What's so funny that you had to laugh?"
"At the time it was either because you were scared of me being on top or you started getting a boner and had to go take a cold shower. I'm sorry, but to me it is hilarious."
"Well...I was getting turned on but I didn't get a boner yet. Next though seriously I didn't care about it and I was just starting to accept my feelings for you."
I nod my head and roll over listening to his breathing. I calmed down hearing him breathe deeply and evenly next to me. My thoughts were still running a mile a minute. I was scared that he didn't actually want me or that he just thinks he has feelings for me. I mean what if this doesn't work out. I'm still not going to turn him in but I also don't want him passing me on the street and acting as if I'm a stranger or going back to the kidnapper version of himself. The hateful, sneering, hidden Ryan that I knew. I couldn't handle that.
I roll over and watch as his eyes flutter under his eyelids. He looks so much younger. He looks peaceful and, hopefully, happy. He seemed calm. I was fighting the urge to brush a piece of his hair off his forehead. The adoration I felt earlier came bubbling back up making me smile like a fool. I slip out of the bed quietly and make my way into the living room to clean up the manuscripts. Thankfully Ryan listened and kept things semi neat. All of the pages were with the respective manuscripts. Sometimes it was hard at work to keep them from getting mixed up but normally they stayed in a folder waiting for the right time to be pulled out instead of all piled up one on top of the other.
I head to the kitchen and make turn my faucet on filling a glass with water. I keep one arm wrapped around myself as I drink and think. I wish I wasn't so scared to tell Ryan every thought I had but he almost always seemed to know what I was thinking by my body language. I hated knowing how much I needed him and my body seemed to scream for him when he wasn't around. How much I yearned to even hear his voice or feel his presence. He commands the attention of every room he walks in.
I see him walk out my room and he sees me in the kitchen. "Hey. What's wrong?"
"Couldn't sleep. I'm sorry if I woke you up." I say setting my now empty glass in the sink. I feel him wrap his arms around me in a hug briefly before I'm swept off my feet and sat on the counter.
"Athea," He says gently caressing my face. "I'm alive, warm and here." It was times like these that made think he actually meant what he said when he let me go. "Do you feel the warmth in my hands?" He says pulling one of my hands to rest on his chest. I knew it was so then I could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took, so I would know he was alive. He was doing this to calm my racing thoughts and heartbeat. "I'm alive. It's okay." He grabs my hands and leads me back to my room. I fell asleep shortly after climbing in bed and feeling his arms wrap around my waist while he nuzzles into my back.