I just thought I'd be ending my birthday with glee. But it didn't, because I still ended up crying alone just like how I used to for the passed years of my life.
I'm looking forward for it to become the happiest birthday I ever had, but it failed. It's damn painful when you're being left by the person who you wanted to be at your side 'till the other morning comes.
I know Lance was upset. Disappointed. But all I wanted is for him to understand that the thing he wants us to do is not a kind of thing that we can possibly do whenever we want to. I never did think or plan to engage myself in premarital sex. I respect the sacredness of marriage. Only I could give my whole to the man who's going to commit himself to me evermore. As long as we both live.
Two days after my birthday, I never saw Lance. I flooded him with my text messages but he did not reply. I was worried, of course. But there's also a part of me who believes that maybe he just have to find a place where he can think clearly. I love him and as much as possible I don't want us to have a long quarrel.
If he won't still reply to my messages and if ever I won't see him at school today. Maybe, I'll just go to his condo to check on him.
"Hi, Avriel! Goodmorning." Liza greeted me soon I stepped inside our classroom while she's unwrapping her lollipop.
"Did you two talked already?" Bianca asked while sticking her eyes to the book she reads.
She's pertaining to Lance and I.
I take a deep breath before I sat at the chair beside Liza's. Bianca is seating before her.
"No, we didn't. He didn't replied to my messages." I answered at Bianca with a weak smile plastered on my face.
She opened her mouth but chooses to closed it after. She seems to have something to tell but she can't. She also have this emotion in her eyes while she's looking at me which I cannot pinpoint out.
"Where's Ashley?" I asked when I noticed that Ashley was nowhere to be found. Knowing her, she always arrived at school earlier than me.
"She chatted me earlier. She had a fever, that's why she's not going to attend classes today." Liza answered, now licking her lollipop.
I just nodded at her and tried to focused myself to the discussions. As much as I want to make myself busy in listening to the topic being discussed in front by our Philosophy teacher, my mind was clouded by the thoughts of talking to Lance.
I got back to my senses when Liza gave me a nudge on my left arm. Unconsciously, I looked at her mouthing the word 'what'.
She gestures to me using her lips that I should look in front. So I did. Our Chemistry teacher was throwing me his fierce look.
"Ms. Hilcott, the door's widely open, meaning you are free to go if you don't feel like attending to my classes." Mr. Shin seriously said using his deep terror voice.
"I am sorry, sir." Downcast. I managed to utter in my lower voice.
"You clearly knew that I don't accept lame excuses, Ms. Hilcott. Get out." Mr. Shin coldly said.
I can also feel how suffocating the atmosphere is. Mr. Shin left me with no choice, so I just fixed and grab my things before I silently walked through our classroom's door.
All their stares were glued at my back, as if they are all supporting my self-humiliation. I also felt Bianca's and Lily's concerned look but I didn't waste a second to look back. I'm too ashamed to do it.
I already lost the interest to attend my remaining classes for the day. That I have decided to go home and sleep. But I just found myself ringing the doorbell on Lance's condominium unit. He didn't showed up nor did talked to me for two days. I think that was quite enough for him to think about some things.
For how many times I had press the doorbell button, yet no one is opening the door for me. Isn't he here? Then where is he?
I tried calling him but I can't reached him. His phone was off. A feeling of doubt slowly grows within me. That maybe he had found another girl to satisfy his needs. The kind of girl who could give him the ecstasy that he desired from me. The kind of girl who did not sucked being his girlfriend.
"Two more glasses of tequila please." I ordered the bartender.
"Avriella, that's enough. You've drink too much already." Bianca stated as she tried to move the shot glass away from me.
I threw her a dagger look which made her move the shot glass back to me. "Fine. Just don't blame me if you'll wake up tomorrow morning having an odd headache."
By the way, we are at Xinchu bar. The well-known luxury bar in town. I chatted through our group chat earlier that I want to loosen up and have some drinks. Liza was the one to agree first while Bianca was forced to go with us. Bianca is not fond of crowded and noisy places. In short, she doesn't like bars while Liza is the opposite, she's the party girl. Well, Ashley too but she's not with us now because she had a fever.
"Avriel, you stay here, okay? I'll just look for Liza around. We'll go home afterwards." Came from Bianca who's now busy in roaming her gaze around. Probably, looking Liza.
I just give her a slight nod and she left the bar counter. I finished the remaining shots and is about to order more when I found the bartender was staring at me intently. He's handsome and tall. I lick my lower lip and winked at him which made him blushed and took his gaze off from me. I bet he had a crush on me. Gosh! I can't believe I just flirted.