Sierra's mind wandered to a dream she used to dream when she was young; she wanted to be a hero, like the ones her father used to read for her before bedtime sleep. She dreamt about keeping her loved ones safe from harm. Strangely, her father read to her books about heroes and when she grew up, she noticed the existence of princess stories. She also found out the stories didn't exist outside of her room. It was when she asked him about it; she wanted to know why he told her about heroes and not princesses. She was a girl so she had to have normal dreams. She already looked like a creep for others of her peers.
"Wouldn't it be better to be a hero than a princess? A princess is only a tool for others to use, she is always living in a dream illusion cast upon her by her guardian… When a dream becomes too real, it transforms into a shackle like an anchor pulling down to the bottomless deep sea. Making it impossible to see the truth of some things."
"The world isn't all flowery and beautiful like what princesses see. You are not a princess and you can never be one. It's better to die a hero than to live in denial and misery forcing a fake happiness over your mind. My words are hard since you are young but one day, you will get it. When that day comes, you will remember my words and you will thank me… Because I didn't give you fake dreams."
It was warm seeing a sibling bond but it was terrifying enough to see another young her who dreamt about the world the way she used to. Who asks about the sky when everything is in black and white? When every wrong spoken word can create another butchery?
There was a time when people decided to rebel; they wanted their freedom, right to their dead, freedom to learn what they want and a more lenient sentence to the one who did crimes even when they weren't real crimes. Everything was made the way the crown wanted. Everyone thought the Empress wouldn't want to kill so many people but she did. She created butchery, a pool of blood that was used to her liking for years. Everyone remembered that day and shut it in their hearts.
Sierra sat down in front of her desk, writing her daily life and thoughts in a diary she keeps around her bed for no one to find it. No one ever found it. However, it was easy for Duncan to do so. He found it intriguing to read what her mind produced along the day. He was a regular visitor to her room and a regular reader of her diary. But she didn't know that.
She took out her adult clothes, the same one she wore the last time and a wig. She had to be careful and as many times the deed was repeated; she was an experienced sneaking peek. She knew her father would never return early on Wednesdays; he just takes a seat in a bar and spends the night there. It was a regular schedule and no matter what happened he didn't break it. Sierra liked organized people; she just felt she was in control of them.
Another day for visiting the forsaken graves… She came out of the house treading down the streets to go to the graveyard again. She grabbed her basket with a bottle of water and food she cooked. He said he liked her cooking and she only cooked for him once. She promised him she would make another meal but he died. Such a shame! The dead are only remembered when they are on the other side.
Her routine went as she planned. Talking to a dead grave, drinking water and leaving food there… Everything went perfectly until Duncan popped up from nowhere as she neared her home.
"Fancy seeing you here… I should clap honoring my instinct for telling me to come here. So did you visit someone outside? I heard men often seek the pleasure of young blood."
Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes squinted looking for Duncan's facial features. The next moment, her heart raced and her fists clenched. He wasn't supposed to be there or exactly, she never included him in her small plans. All she did was to visit a grave and it wasn't a crime.
"I heard you talking about rules and such," he raised an eyebrow. "I thought you held honor on it. However, you sneak outside the gates. I wonder what kind of face your father will do if he sees you here. I heard the man greatly appreciate you. What were you doing outside the gates?"
"I had to go somewhere. I guess I should thank you for keeping your eyes on me. It must be tiring trying to protect me. I really appreciate it."
"I wasn't trying to protect you, Sierra. I was looking for a weakness to have in mind… You know… For future uses."
"I am flattered. You hold such a high value of me. I am touched. Since I broke the law, you did as well. I heard condemned cannot go out after they return from school. I heard you couldn't set foot outside after seven of the evening. Isn't it amazing to be here at eleven of the night?"
"I get you. So the conversation is shifting at me, huh?"
He laughed as he held his stomach in mirth. She didn't know what the funny thing was in her words. She watched him in disbelief as his laugh caused his tear to swell in his eyes. It was funny seeing her with his eyes. He thought it was funny seeing her try to take advantage of it. If she had known who he was, she would have crawled in fear and return to her room as fast as she could. Yet, it was plausible she would do unexpected things. After all, she took care of a serpent head.
"What happened to the serpent head you took home with you?"
He knew the answer but he had to ask. He had to show her he cared for the deal they had. Sierra eased her tension and smiled, remembering what she did with it.
"I put it in my mother's chamber… I was expecting her to see it and run away with it but soon enough, she turned it to my room and put it under my pillow. Well, I am not scared of it. She put it quite the effort to try and smear my bed with serpent blood. It was really nothing. I just had to remove it and put it on my desk as a momentum."
"I see. Since we already broke the law, how about we do more than that? There is still time for midnight strolling. Let's go!" he offered his arm to take but she didn't move a single finger towards him. She just watched him sighing. She wanted to go home because she already finished what she had to do outside.
"I don't think I will follow you."
"You are wrong, my dear. I am not asking you, I am ordering you. They are completely distinct matters. I need a date for tonight and you need someone to keep your secret. We each have benefit in it. Take it!"
She executed. They walked under the moonlight in the middle of the road. It wasn't something she wanted to do but she had to look like she enjoyed it. He stopped in front of a street lamp in the first rank area, in front of a bakery he used to visit as a child. It was closed but the fireflies were around. Sierra watched them in disbelief. She had never seen fireflies, especially with their small dim green light.
"Aren't they good?"
"Yeah, what are they?"
"Fireflies. They come here at this time. I hope no one sees them. They can be easily smashed," he let go of her hand and lied on the road, his hands behind his head. "I come here often to watch them swirl around the lamp. They can be quite a show."
She laughed because it was crazy but they still had time till midnight. She lied down next to him and watched what he stared at.
"I called that Jack and that one, Sirius. They are pretty the same but I can distinguish them now."
"Isn't it silly? But I guess it's something you might do. Something unexpected and stupid but it still matters. I used to believe in lights and dreams; I wanted to be something. I studied hard thinking I can make it to higher ranks and make my father proud but everything changed and I learnt that in this country, humans cannot have what they want."
"Why do you say humans? Aren't we all humans?"
"I think there something sinister at the higher ranks. What rank do you belong to? I have never seen you around the fifth area."
"I will keep that for me. My mother was a peculiar person; she belonged to a high rank but I didn't inherit that. She was tagged as a traitor and beheaded by executors. It's hard stating otherwise."
"So the motif behind her death was a lie… I see… You know my neighbour… His wife and daughter died mysteriously and they told him it was an accident. He couldn't see their corpses; he just wanted a glimpse of her. Everything was chaotic."
"It's sad. No one can take care of their dead in this country."