"D-don't you love me anymore?" she sobbed, furiously wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweater.
He held her face in between his hands and murmured, "You..."
Mei paused, before hitting the backspace key with much vigor. She sighed in frustration as a blank page stared right back at her. She was back at where she started.
The week before the end of their third year of high school had officially begun. Students were already given free time to do whatever they want or a chance to pass their outputs, which she already completed. People simply attended school to meet up with their friends or escape from home.
She on the other hand decided to write a book; one that didn't even have a first page.
Countless drafts and story arcs later, she was left with nothing but a white, blank page. Every sentence felt wrong, and the plot she had in mind either lost its appeal or it was too hard for her to translate on paper. She ran he fingers through her hair, messing it up. Everything about this book was nothing but wading in unsure waters, uncertain on where its path was going to go.
Though there was one sure thing about this book; and it was that it was going to be a romance novel. She wanted to write something sweet, wholesome, heart-fluttering and the total opposite of her life. But she didn't know where to begin; turns out, writing about love without having the experience, was much harder than she thought.
Everything came off as too cheesy, trying hard or a copycat of something that's already been done before. Watching all those diabetes-inducing dramas and books weren't enough. They were still fiction; someone else's story. She didn't know how real those emotions were.
She tried to write a couple more times, before finally giving up and browsing through her phone. She'll write when she finds the inspiration eventually. At least that's what she keeps telling herself.
Frustrated at the procrastinating cycle that she keeps getting herself into, she put her phone and looked up, to see her neighbor from his window across from hers.
It was Rui, her schoolmate.
Though they lived right next to each other, they barely knew each other. There was no childhood sweethearts or friends like those in dramas. Mei mostly stayed indoors and Rui had his own social circle. He probably doesn't even know that they're neighbors, she usually forgets she even had one.
His popularity had grown as they did too. He was handsome, an eye candy, with his soft features and sophisticated style. His grades were high and he was also a runner. He was the perfect guy. Mei sighed as she stared at him. He must have his life put together, I'm envious.
This was the first time she's seen him outside of school. It was a surprise to see him at home. She thought he'd be at school, playing with the other boys or whatever popular people do. Curious, she continued to watch him, He didn't seem to notice her. Well, nobody did.
That was when he walked further into his room, and her eyes widened. He was checking himself in the mirror, wearing a black turtleneck crop top sweater and a....
A skirt. A pink gauzy skirt, that reached his ankles. Mei blinked.
Eh? So, the prince of the school was into these things?
Then he turned around and their eyes met. He stopped, dead cold in his tracks.
Both of them didn't move from their position as they continued to stare at each other, waiting for the other person's move. Then, slowly, Mei raised her phone up-
Ka-cha.
Rui blinked; his face morphed into that of shock.
"Hey-"
She closed the curtains in lighting speed before he could shout profanities at her, her heart pounding against her chest.
Why did she do that? Why did she take a picture out of impulse? Was she that desperate to court death?
Ah fuck, and all she wanted was to finish a chapter of her book. Instead, her fried brain decided to do something stupid with its last two remaining brain cells.
With pursed lips, she took a glimpse of the photo on her phone. It was bit blurry, but mostly clear, especially the person in it.
She rubbed her nose with the back of her hand.
He looked kinda cute.
.
.
.
.
"Mei?" Her mom called out from the living room. She didn't respond, laying on the bed with her arms spread apart, waiting for death to come to her door. Instead, it was her mom.
"Aiya, you lazy girl. Why are you still in bed? Get up!" Her mother's complaints fell deaf on her ears as she continued to stare at the brown ceiling above her, her mind repeating what had happened earlier. What was she going to do? What was he going to do? Do they pretend as if nothing ever happened? Does she delete the picture? Does she disappear at this point?
"Mei!" Her mother exclaimed, slapping her on the arm, breaking her out of her thoughts.
"Ow!" Her mother sighed, as she started picking up the dirty laundry on the floor around her room.
"Your friend came to visit. He's waiting outside." She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"I don't have a friend."
"He's the boy from next door. Rui was it?" She immediately shot up from the bed, startling her mother. Her eyes were wide, frantic.
"And? What did you say?"
"That you're home." Mei groaned as she buried her face in the pillow, and began rolling around the bed, hoping that the ground would swallow her up.
"Mom!"
"Stop whining and go greet him. Don't be rude. You've always said you're lonely and now that someone's kind enough to be your friend, you stay in your room." She looked up from the pillow, pouting. Her mother was nonchalantly folding her strewn clothes on the floor.
"Mom." You didn't have to attack me like that.
"You go right now, young lady. Don't keep him waiting for too long."
"But-" Her mother shot her a look.
"Now." With a sigh, she stood up her movements sluggish. Fixing her messy hair, with slow steps she began to approach the living room, where he sat on their sofa, his back facing her. There was an untouched cup of water in front of him, and he was impatiently tapping his finger on his thigh.
She stopped by the dinner table. He was so close. Taking a deep breath, she tried to prep herself first before he turned around and their eyes met for the second time that day. She felt her stomach drop to the ground.
Aiya, his timing is something else.
His eyes widened upon seeing her, and he immediately stood up, making her flinch. What was he planning to do?
He was dressed in a baggy dark green sweater and gray sweatpants this time. Her mind flashed back to him wearing a pink skirt, and the grip on her phone tightened. Her ears were tinted a light shade of pink.
Her face was grim, as she tried to appear serious. Unbeknownst to her, tufts of hair were sticking out from her head. He pressed his lips together, as the corner of his lips were starting to rise up.
Nobody spoke for a while, just like earlier. The atmosphere was tense and awkward. He looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself every time he came close. She was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, waiting for him to speak.
"I-" he began but was cut off by Mei's mom entering the living room. Both of them froze.
"Oh, are you kids hanging out? I'll just be in the laundry room, okay?" She said, as Mei desperately sent her signals to come and stay a little bit longer. Either her mother didn't notice the mood between the two or was deliberately ignoring but she simply passed the two and went into another room. The sound of the laundry machine could be heard. That was the only noise inside the house.
"We need to talk," he finally mustered. "But not here." Mei bit her lip. Ah fuck, here it comes, the calm before the storm. She reluctantly nodded her head.
"Okay."