I have finally decided that I wanted to leave Mr.heriss and others from getting involved in my mass. I don't want to cause more trouble for them. It took me a whole week (after that detective visit) to think it over. I have finally concluded. My life is a mass and I don't want them to be part of it. I left the house and was on my way to the shop. It's early in the morning so no one's there to see me. I looked up at the sky thinking how beautiful the birds are flying. They're free from the cages. They can go anywhere they want. They can fly higher in the sky or come lower as if they own the entire world. Jessica, would you be smiling to the fullest if you were alive today? Would you be attending the classes for achieving your dream? You wanted to be a police officer. The one who brings justice. Why do you have to die for nothing? Because of me you…..you…..had...to….die. a heavyweight pushed into my heart. It felt heavy…
The shop was opened as always. Mr.Heriss would always open the shop very early. This was probably because of the delivery purpose. The truck didn't leave the shop yet. It was still loading by the rough hand of Luna and some of the others. She was in somewhat hurry. Was I too early? I thought that because I never had time to see her. Usually, I wouldn't able to grasp this kind of scenery. I stepped forward and turned right to make a conversation with her. Although she was quite unapproachable. Her somewhat pissed look got more pissed by my appearance.
"Hi, need a hand?" I wanted to be helpful at least a bit.
"Tch," what was that for?! I just wanted to be good for once! She cast her sneering look as if I'm nothing but just an animal. I was totally pissed.
"I don't want a weaklings' help. You might just die lifting a cart or so."
I turned my back on her and went inside the shop. The shop was giving a weird vibe from inside. I went near my slot and spotted an individual sharping his knives.
"Hi there, Sutasi."
"Hi" He didn't even look at me. Was I an invisible arms existence? I went to the changing room to change into working clothes. Took the apron and worn it neatly. I looked right and it appeared someone was next to me doing the same although he had a big grin on his face. Seeing he was ready for a conversation.
"Hi, you fine?"
"Why, you ask? Was I being weird here?"
"No, it just, just that you were a lot earlier today. I mean you have to be early because of that suspect thing but today you're much earlier than expected."
He was probably the truth. I was really earlier today.
"It's just a coincidence."
"Oh, it that so."
I nodded in agreement. It wasn't just a coincidence. I wasn't able to sleep last night thinking about what to do. Today is my last day and I finalized my decision. There's no way I would back off today. Thinking about that matter over again and again made my sleep go away. I had to make a decision regards of what's going on. This was because things are getting more and more tangled. I looked at the eye of Kelan and saw nothing but a blank image of mine.
"I'm going then." He had already had with his business so he locked the locker and headed towards his workspace. I also intended to go away but something stopped me it was an image of mine in the locker mirror. His face was darken. But I felt his mocking grin. I quickly went out of the room with a bit of uneasiness.
"What was that?" I murmured while breathing heavily. My hand was getting icy cold. It was so cold that I felt no sensation in my hand. I slam myself in one corner. Apparently, there weren't many employees here as it's quite early. I sat down hugging my knees. I was shivering. Was it because I was in a state of fear? No, it can't be. Why?....
As confused as I'm I saw a beautiful figure approaching me wearing a white dress as beautiful as an angel. She laid out her hands and hugged me. I could feel the warmth on her. It was embracing me greatly. Her magnificent smile was enough to make me wonder. I looked up and saw only her white neck. Her entire body was embracing me. Her white skin, I could feel it.
"Jessica….?" I couldn't help but uttered a single word.
"Jodan, Don't be afraid…" A sweet tone. She whispered something into my ear. "Fight Jodan, Fight." That's right I have to fight in this cruel world. To stay alive I have to fight for my sake.
"Are you okay? Jodan." Suddenly the warmth of her disappeared as Mr.Heriss spoke out.
"Y-yeah, it's nothing. Let's go." I stood up and followed him.
"If you're feeling unwell, you can take a day off."
"Nah, it's nothing.." was that a hallucination of mine? Was that just something I made in my unconscious mind? Whatever that was I felt a little better now.
"Mr.Heriss-s" I stopped him in his track. He turned around and gazed at me. I hesitated first but I mustered my courage and went on.
"I have something important to say to you. Just hear me."
"O-okay," he was a bit astonished at first but I don't get it as his Expression was black as ever.
"We can talk it out after work. What do you say? Isn't it a good idea?"
"Fine." Saying that I moved forward passing him. Obviously, I was nervous but I have to do it nevertheless. This is the first choice I have to take to move forward. I'm nervous because I don't know how Mr.Heriss and others react.