Patient #2
My name is Brian Randall and I am 46 years old. I originally lived in Oklahoma, but my wife, Joan, suggested that we should move to Raleigh because of the constant tornado attacks. I have four kids; one of them lives in Michigan with his wife and children. My marriage went very well with my wife, until the unthinkable happened. We both got into an argument about how I was treating my wife as a third wheel in our favorite things. Let's just say, things didn't turn out well.
Dr. Bridges
What's one of the reasons why there was a conflict in your relationship?
Brian
Well, it goes like this....
(flashback)
Laura
Oh, you're back.
Brian
Yes. I'm back. Stacy and I had a great time at the Cheesecake Factory. It was awesome.
Laura
I bet it was.
Brian
So, why did you leave so early? Didn't you enjoy coming to the restaurant?
Laura
I did. I just came home because I wanted some time alone with the kids. You know, trying to deal with the stress that I was going through.
Brian
What stress? Don't tell me you were jealous of me spending time with Stacy.
Laura
That is the issue I was talking about! Why do you enjoy hanging out with her?! I don't understand you at all!
Brian
Hold up! Why the hell are you yelling at me like some damn lunatic?!
Laura
I'm not acting like a lunatic! I'm mad because I felt insecure on being treated like I'm not special enough for you! Do you actually think that treating me like a third wheel was fun? Well, it sure wasn't fun for me.
Brian
I-I-I-I
Laura
Would you please stop with the stuttering? If you want to say I'm sorry, it's not going to work. I just hate being left out because I feel like I'm not worthy enough to spend time with the man that I love. How would you feel if I treated you like that?
Brian
I would've felt the same way, too. Laura, I'm terribly sorry.
Dr. Bridges
So, you and your wife ended up in a conflict that caused a rift in your relationship?
Brian
Yes. I felt guilty of treating her like this. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I said I was sorry about leaving her out of the fun, but I don't think it's enough for us to patch things up.
Dr. Bridges
Well, I do empathize on your situation, Brian. I had the same problem in my marriage, but it was a different scenario: It was dealing with our finances for child support.
Brian
How did that go? How did you guys resolve your conflict?
Dr. Bridges
Well, first of all, there are two sides to an argument. We established a strong and effective conversation that caused both of us to state our sides to the conflict and what we need to do to achieve the conflict. If we both receive child support from a trusted company, in order for us to conclude, we signed an agreement to keep all of our earnings and property separate. That way, we won't lose any money.
Brian
That's fantastic.
Dr. Bridges
So, how did you resolve your conflict with your wife?
Brian
We resolved our situation by stating our reasons on why we hang out with a person we knew each other for our whole life. I love my wife and she loved me back. She told me that she needed time to rethink on why I share my time with Stacy. After that, she informed me that I was spending time with her because she lost her family in a great war. She hates being lonely and she wanted to spend time with me so that I can fill in the empty void she was feeling all her life. She also said that she had no real resentment towards my best friend Stacy as they both spend time together discussing things that I and my wife do. I told Laura that I was terribly sorry for treating her like she's second place. However, she also apologized for acting out of hand after I introduced Stacy to her. We, then, spend time at the Cheesecake Factory watching videos, singing, playing cards, and gossiping about our ex-friends. We had a good time together. Laura even asks her that if it's okay for Stacy to have a girl's night-out; and Stacy replied with a yes. We really hit it off.
Dr. Bridges
Well, Mr. Randall, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I'm glad that you talked to me about how you dealt with your situation with both your wife and childhood friend.
Brian
Thank you so much. I could have done it without you. What I took from this conversation is that, instead of passing judgment on other people, I worked out my problems by staying strong and understanding my conflict. Again, thank you very much for all your help.
Dr. Bridges
You're welcome. Come again.
Brian
See you later. See you guys!
Everyone
See you, Brian!