Chapter 63 - Memories III: Breakdown
"Big brother! Are you free today?"
"No. I have some work I needed to get done today."
"Oh… is there really no time?"
"Unfortunately."
"Then perhaps we could eat dinner together later?"
"....I am sorry, but I am going to finish late today. It's better if you take your dinner ahead of me."
"...I g-guess it can't be helped then! B-big brother is a hardworking person after all!" She said cheerfully barely keeping the pain inside her
Avery noticed but disregarded it, and simply nodded to her sentence before leaving the room.
Another scene was then shown in front of me.
"Hey, Big brother! Dad said you are going to be free today! Do you want to spend some time with me?" Yue asked excitedly.
"Not today Yue, I need to get some training done. I did miss a lot of sessions last week after all."
"Oh! Then can I come with you?" Yue asked with a smile thinking that she would get to spend time with her big brother again.
"I think it won't be a good idea, plus you still have your training right? It's better for you to use this time to train your computer skills." The smile on her face froze as she heard what he said.
"B-but–"
"I think it's time, anyway I'll see you later." Avery looked at his watch before leaving.
Then another scene again was presented to me…
Here I saw my little sister knocking on the door in front of her.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock* "Big brother? Are you there?"
"..."
"Big brother?"
After a while, I heard the sounds of footsteps on the other side of the door.
The door then opened, and a younger me who was in his night attire was revealed.
"Is there anything you need Yue?"
"Ah.. Ahmm... I was just wondering if I could sleep with you today?" My little sister nervously asked, fearing that he might refuse her.
Avery shook his head before responding, "I think you should stop sleeping in my room from now on Yue, we are already growing up and it is going to be inappropriate."
"Anyway… it's already late in the night so you should go back to your room," Avery said dissimedly before closing the door.
My sister dazedly stared at the door in front of her.
Her eyes start to moisten before eventually, tears start to fall down her eyes.
I feel horrible seeing what my previous actions are doing to my little sister.
I then heard her thoughts inside my head, 'Why? Why?.... Is it my fault? Did confessing make everything worse? Should I not have done it? B-but I truly love big brother…'
"It's not your fault Little Yue… I am sorry, this is all my fault…. you did nothing wrong…" I said in guilt and shame as I heard her thoughts.
Before I could think deeper again, the scene started to shift again.
And the same scene was shown.
It was me refusing all attempts of advances my little sister made.
Refusing to train together.
Refusing to have dinner.
Refusing to go play with her.
Refusing to play instruments together.
Refusing to watch a movie that we once looked forward to.
There were too many and I started losing count.
From all the scenes I have seen, one thing stood out and it was the progressive pain that my little sister felt.
The pain that keeps on getting larger and more painful as the amount of rejection she faced increased.
The sadness.
The pain.
The regret of confessing.
At one point she starts to think that I hated her and that I was disgusted with her.
It got to the point she started hallucinating and breaking down inside her bedroom.
I felt horrible seeing the consequences of what I did.
The guilt and the shame.
It felt even worse when she still smiled and tried to be cheerful when in the presence of my old self, and the fact that she seemed to always manage to keep others from knowing that she was eating and sleeping less.
Most importantly, she was able to hide her own breakdown by forcing her emotions down.
She would show cheerful and happy acts in front of others.
And when she feels that her emotions are getting the better of her, she always manages to find an excuse to allow herself to be alone.
My previous self fell for the act and believed that everything was going well.
At one point, I saw my old self thinking that Yue's feelings were diminishing with the amount of rejection she faced and the fact that she asked less and less.
However, my old self could not be more wrong as the time when she was not asking him was now spent her crying and breaking down inside her room.
Like this heartbreaking scene in front of me…
On top of the bed laying down was Yue's disheveled appearance.
Eye bags under her eyes showed signs of not getting enough sleep.
And her thin hungered figure that she hid using thick clothing was now shown in her nightdress.
She was crying.
'Big brother. Big brother. Pls, don't hate me.' Yue's voice was heard inside my head.
"Never…. I could never… hate you, Little Yue!" I said with conviction as I looked at her figure.
'I can't be with you! You're my sister!' My heart leaped in fear as I heard a replica of my voice. A voice that did not have the care and love I would give to my sister, but a voice filled with disdain and disgust in them.
It was a voice that I could never direct toward my little sister, but here I am hearing my own voice that was in the hallucinations that my sister is having as a result of the repeated refusal and distancing of our relationship.
'You are wasting my time!'
'Stop annoying me!'
'Just leave me alone!'
'I have better things doing than spend my time with you!'
'Maybe, it's time for me to leave you….'
Such words were conceived by my little sister as I watch her breakdown.
'No! No! No! Please big brother don't leave! I love you so much! I could never live without you!'
'Tsk! How many times do I have to tell you! You are my sister! Stop that immoral thought of yours! Maybe I should go with another woman to force you to stop…'
'N-no… please big brother.. No please don't!' My sister answered the hallucinations she formed inside her head.
It was too much… the pain that my sister felt was too much…
My eyes blurred as tears fell from my eyes.
Guilt. Shame. Regret.
And hate for my old self rose inside me seeing the current state of my little sister.
Y-Yue…. I am sorry..
That was all I could say as I fell to my knees while dazedly looking at my little sister…
I am sorry… It was all my fault.
I then remembered the time we spent in the current timeline…
The immeasurable joy that my sister felt.
The smile that shines brighter than any star.
The infectious happiness that she radiates as we talk.
The dedication that she had to build an empire for both of us.
Such a girl was my little sister.
A little sister that deserves all the love that I could give her.
In the past timeline, our relationship was not properly fixed.
The pain and trauma that my sister had probably were never resolved and simply disappeared along with her death.
However, this is not the past… the selfishness and refusal that I had in the past were gone.
I had felt what it means to lose her. A time when I could never see her.
So I believe I can do better. No… I will definitely do better.
I will correct things.
The past is the past and we cannot change such things, the only thing in our control is the present and the future, so I will change it for the better and give her all the love she deserves, and dedicates my whole being to her.
***
On Yue's side of the soul bond.
A gorgeous-looking wedding was arranged inside a wide hall.
At the stage at the front was Avery and an unknown beautiful woman who had this gorgeous body that she proudly displayed to all men in the room with her almost see-through wedding gown.
Meanwhile, at the bottom of the stage and in the middle of the red-carpeted leading to the altar was Yue.
With a devastated expression, Yue watched in great pain the wedding procession happen right in front of her… failing to notice the system prompts in front of her.
[!@$#%...E @$]
[Err#(@ror%]
[A/N: I am not confident with the execution in these two chapters so hopefully I still manage to get the message across. Anyway, I'll be uploading a chap or two tomorrow and IF I have time then I'll try to finish the Memory III arc by this week. Also please do note 0f what I said a couple of chaps ago... I know you guys don't like the pain that I placed on Yue, and honestly, I don't like it too, but it is necessary for them to progress. After this is all done, I'll go back to what I love writing the most, the fluff and happy romance between Avery and Yue... then maybe proceed to the r18 ones. So with that said hope you guys enjoyed the chap and have a nice day!]