"Carina...," his voice, slightly hoarse called me, but in the most affectionate way that I've never seen in Vance before. It was affectionate in a way that is not how a child would call me, but a man.
I widened my eyes in shock as I observed his appearance. He looks terrible and dishevelled. "Vance, so it is true that you're still sick," I said, sighing pitifully.
Vance gave me a reassuring smile as he glanced at the last minute gift of the bunch of primroses in my hands. "Is that for me?,"
"Yes. Take it,"
He laughed as he took it from my hands. The slight touch between my fingers and his made him blushed. "Carina, are you aware of the meaning of these flowers?,".
I tilted my head, questioning on his behaviour. He sounds different, his gaze looked different and most of all, his manner of speech too. Right now, it is as if he's not a child any more. "I don't know the meaning. I am just giving you as it is," I blushed a little, pretending not to know the meaning.
Vance knitted his eyebrows. "It really is hard to flirt with you isn't it?," he mumbled, then he placed the flowers in the vase that was on his night stand.
I noticed that there is a bottle of pills next to it. "Are you taking those?,"
"Um..yes. I have to take it for two weeks for me to get better," he said. He holds his head and winced in pain.
I quickly rushed to him as he was about to faint and hold his shoulder to support him. "Vance! What is happening to you?," I asked, alarmed. Even if I could pinpoint his symptoms right now, nothing seems to add up. I am not aware of the condition he's experiencing right now.
Without answering me, Vance hugged and his whisper tickled my ears. "I really missed you. I really missed our classes,". His voice is musky, and it is as if he is inviting me to a seductive mood.
After all the times I've been reincarnated, I have mastered the art of seducing. I am pretty knowledgeable in 'that' department as well. But, I have never fallen in love. Nobody makes me embarrassed and flustered like I do to most people.
But why am I embarrassed with Vance, a retarded prince out of all people?
"Calm down, the pain is making you all touchy. Lay down," I said as I nudged him to the bed.
Vance sighed as his head plopped onto the pillow. His eyes kept staring at me, never leaving his sight at all. "Are you going to leave?,"
"Do you want me to?,"
"No. Stay here with me...tonight,"
I giggled as I pulled the blankets up. I think the drugs is making him acting different, but at least his childishness still remains. The pills though, is very questionable. So I picked up the bottle of pills and inspect them to see if my knowledge from working with Clementine, the alchemy prodigy, is able to know what pills he is taking.
"W-What...?," I mumbled in shock.
Vance noticed my reaction and frowned in worry. "What is it? Is there something wrong?,"
What kind of pills is Vance taking?
They weren't normal pills. The pills are filled with mana, a dark element mana that is. I have never seen someone consume a mana let alone contain it into a capsule like this. Piqued with curiosity, I took one capsule and crushed it, but there's nothing inside. No herbs, no chemicals, not even a smell. Nothing.
There's only mana inside.
"You said that you need to take these for 2 weeks to get better?," I asked. Vance quickly sat up.
He looked to the side, as if avoiding me. I took that as a yes, but I was unhappy that Vance, too, is being secretive about all this. I took his chin and forcefully pull him closer to my face. "Vance, I wanted to know what happened to you? Nobody is telling me anything, and I haven't found any answers when I was waiting for your recovery. That's why I am here. I am worried,".
Yes. For the first time I felt frustrated. It's been awhile that I experienced something that I don't know. Though it hurts my pride, it hurts me more to know Vance is suffering alone. I know how that feels. And for that, I've come to the realization that maybe I do care about Vance after all. Aside that he reminds me of Frederick or the fact that he feels familiar, I do care about Vance as a person. I wanted to be by his side as long as I can, but the future remains unclear. Until how long am I going to protect him by using Aspera's name? And when will we stop being up on defence against the princes?
"Do you care about me? Are you worried?," he smiled. His cheeks blushed a little as he took my hand that was on his chin and grasp it gently as if I have fragile hands.
"That's not the point,"
"It is now. All I want is for you to be by my side forever," he said.
I grimaced a little trying to imagine myself seeing Vance's ending through my future self. This reincarnation, it'll only make me lonelier and witnessing the deaths of people I loved, the reality became so morbid that I've become a beaten soul. But I know now why Vance is special. He's like a breath of fresh air. His innocence and childishness reminds me of pure childhood. But his eyes hold a mysterious gaze, as if there is someone witnessing the whole word through another perspective.
"Vance, you always said that. I wonder why," I said as I smiled, covering up my doubts.
He opened his mouth, then closes back. "I was right then. Those pills really do make me forget certain things. I can't believe I've said it already," he thought to himself.
"I guess I was distracted and I forgot to take the pills. When I do, I need to take it continuously for 2 weeks. Then I'll get better. That's all I know from mother," Vance answered.
I frowned a little, remembering Uld's sudden outburst. She got angry that Vance forgot his pills, and somehow she slightly panicked when I ask her what's going on. This whole thing makes it clear that not only me, but even Vance is dancing to her tune. All of us are kept in the dark in her plans.
Somehow, I don't feel good about Uld.
"Carina,".
Vance placed his other hand on my cheek and caress it gently. "Thank you for staying with me...and...," he paused, not knowing what to say. "It's just...I felt lonely. All this time, it felt like I am a puppet. I didn't control my own actions, and every time I wanted to do something out of my own will, the strings will pull me back. Somehow, with you by my side, I could at least free myself from those strings albeit a little. But I...I found myself to be lacking. And everyone is looking down on me..,".
But before Vance could continue, I hugged him to my chest. Vance flinched a little, but slowly relaxed as he hugged me back.
"Vance, do you know that I was being impulsive when I saved you? I saved you merely because I have the ability to, and because you remind me of someone who is as powerless as you,".
"I wasn't born perfect. I was weak and powerless, and I believe kindness is a privilege. You can't be kind to people if you don't have the power or courage. There's no way. And that is why, I have to become a villain in the beginning. Only power allows me to make decisions that can protect anyone," I said, reminiscing the first time that I got reincarnated.
It was as the daughter of a bar manager who's always drunk. At that time, I was being abused, and the bar manager, my 'father', was the first time I killed someone. The second time, I got reincarnated as a street urchin, and learn how to steal money and food.
I've been shouldering so many sins.
"That's why, to be free from those strings you speak of, you need power," I said.
I let go of the hug and looked closely at Vance. His face is heated, and his eyes seems to be in a daze. "However, you don't need to be a villain for that. I will be by your side to prevent that," I said, smiling.
Vance hugged my waist tightly as he tilted his head slightly to look at me. "I can have power and you by my side. Tell me, what should I do?,".
"Be the emperor,".