I opened my eyes in a different body again, for the 101th time.
It seems I've reincarnated again.
I don't remember my name, but I do know I came from a different world. That world was full of buildings that reached the sky and the roads were grey and the people wear comfortable clothes. I think I was a college student back then, but my memory from those days are hazy.
It's surprising that I can remember my past life and all 100 lives that I've lived. I should've gone insane but miraculously I didn't. This itself defies the law of human life. For sure, I am not blessed by gods, but an abandoned one. If I have not been abandoned, surely the gods wouldn't let me reincarnate so many times.
"My lady…this! This is a miracle!," my maid shouted.
I glanced at her and sigh. Indeed, it's a miracle for me to be reincarnated. It appears I am still alive, again. "Ah, Emmy," I called her. The memory of this previous body owner slowly came to me.
"My lady has awakened from her coma," Emmy covered her mouth and cried.
I scratched my cheek nervously. Well, I wouldn't want to break it to her that I am not the real lady but since I've taken over her body then I might as well.
"Yes, I, Carina von Aspera, have awoken from my slumber," I said.
This time, I woke up as the daughter of a reputable, infamous duke house huh.
"My lady, let me announce this happy news to the butler!,"
"Wait I-,"
But Emmy have already rushed out of the room.
I slowly stood up from my bed, but my legs are a bit wobbly, probably due to the fact that I was in a coma for a pretty long time. As I put my hand on the cold window, looking outside at the winter scenery, I wished for the day that death would come for me.
For all the lives I've lived, I always wanted to find my purpose. Why do I keep being reincarnated? Why won't I die?
It's lonely and tiring. I keep on reincarnating, witnessing time passing through. I saw my close friends being old through another body, left behind loved ones and see them mourning me as I went to my own funeral.
It's as if god wants me to be a spectator. And that's why I stopped. I stopped trying to find my 'role' in life and I think I experienced enough. Because I am tired of living. I have the mental fortitude for all the 100 lives I've been through, which makes this all the more a torture because I wish for this to end.
I was once an empress, a mage, a slave, a maid, a doctor. But halfway through I became tired. I secretly wished for death but not the kind of death that I would get reincarnated again, but the eternal void, the endless slumber. And this 101th reincarnation of mine is going to be the same.
"It's time to retire again," I chuckled.
Instead of lamenting about death, maybe I should be optimistic about the endless tea time I will be experiencing in the future.