-Shawwwww
The sound of shower still echoed in the bathroom, as I stood still for a while.
With my decision made, I suddenly had a lot of things to do. A lot of opportunities to gain power, money or comrades, but right now, at least for a while I couldn't do anything.
I ran both my hands through my hair, sweeping them back, before sighing.
Yes, there were a lot of things to gain, but the consequences of me taking them, the butterfly effect of taking them, there was just so much to take into consideration that just thinking about that gave me a headache.
That, and maybe using my [Mental Power], also had a thing to do with it.
So, I stopped thinking.
-Shawwwww
Not much time had passed but I opened my eyes and pressed another button on the control panel of the shower, which promptly turned the magical shower off.
I was done with the bath, and for those who were thinking, this bathroom was enchanted with passive cleaning spell, it means I was already cleaned as soon as I stepped in.
So, yeah, I showered just cause it felt good.
Making my decision and the shower helped me lighten my mood, and finally made me think about the thing that was around the corner. The thing my waiting maid told me to think about.
When I reviewed the situation with a calm mind, I actually realized that there was nothing much to think about.
It was just me, not liking Earl's methods.
No matter how much the Earl changed, he was a bona fide [Assassin] and as a result, his teaching methods were a bit unique, I guess.
That was the best way I could say it.
To put it simply, this was what happened: Amy tried to seduce me under Earl's order.
Okay, maybe not seduce, but she definitely made me aware of her, and would eventually, be ordered to seduce me if things went along this path.
The reason?
Well, I don't exactly know, but from Amy's tone, it must be something like getting used to charm of the girls or something like that.
As for why he did this as soon as I woke up, well, there was my upcoming public debut, which every noble had to do when they turned 14.
So, the Earl was preparing me, which was ultimately a good thing, but I didn't like his methods.
Using Amy to do this just felt wrong to me.
And that wasn't the only problem, there was another one, the problem with my nature.
I was a very serious person when it came to relationships.
I was in my 30s, but I just had two girlfriends till then, with miss Miller being my next relationship candidate.
Just two girlfriends and both of them had a really long relationship with me.
It wasn't wrong to say that I was thinking of marrying them if things continued on right path.
Unfortunately, they didn't.
So with Ms. Miller, I wasn't just trying to have my next relationship, but I also planned to marry her and she knew that, that was why she was hesitating.
So, from my point of view, relationships were not something to play around with.
And I was stubborn about this.
Understandably, Earl's methods, angered me.
Also, Amy's attitude of still defending the Earl, that too, annoyed me.
That 'Why are you asking me something whose answer you know already?'
Or that 'For Master doesn't think, you would take your promises lightly'
Those sentences, that attitude, it pissed me.
But the thing which pissed me off the most is that, I knew.
I knew, she was right.
'The Earl is a good person, at least to me, he is.'
From the first time he spoke with me I knew that, 'this guy, he really cares about me'.
But, I was jealous, to be honest. Not of Amy taking Earl's side, maybe a little, but the relationship they shared.
Honestly, I just knew that girl just yesterday and we talked a little, nothing more than that other than the fact that she was the first person I saw in Rowen, and that wasn't enough for me to be jealous.
Huuuuu
I sighed. Really, why are relationships so difficult?
Still, no worries. I know Amy has right to reject orders which went overboard, and considering she didn't reject it, the Earl probably didn't order her to go that far.
So, all that was left was a difference of opinions, which I like an adult will solve by talking to him, he told me see him tomorrow anyways.
As for Amy…..
Actually, I did say seduce, but to a normal 13-year-old, she did nothing remotely similar. There were just a few hints, few actions and some subtle gestures, which a kid wouldn't recognize.
But even those small gestures, if continued for a long time, would result in the kid being infatuated with her.
And that would destroy the relationship we had now.
A simple mother-son like relationship.
-Huuuuu
'Let's talk to her now.'
Obviously, I wasn't standing still while thinking.
I had dried and clothed myself.
But looking at myself in the mirror, I felt a bit weird.
Just yesterday, I was so desperately looking for something remotely similar to it and now I was standing in front of it.
Of course, that wasn't the reason I felt weird. The reason was, well... dark blue shorts, a light blue sleeping robe, my cyan eyes and sky-blue hair, along with my pale skin.
If my eye and hair color were to be switched, I swear, I would have looked like a blue shade stick.
This maid... looks like she really has no sense of clothes.
I chuckled to myself. With my mood restored and my thoughts on track, I opened the door.
-Click
As soon as I opened the door, my eyes found Amy's, who had dutifully served the meal, and was looking back at me, while being seated in a couch. I don't know what she did, or thought in the meantime, but her face looked a bit conflicted now.
I closed the door behind me and walked towards couches, as I tried to break that atmosphere by complaining about the thing plaguing my mind.
"Hey, Amy, why the hell are all my clothes blue?"
Hearing my complain, she blinked her eyes, as a visibly confused expression appeared on her face, as even her tail formed a question mark behind her.
Okay, now that was not the reaction I was hoping for.
Was she just that engrossed in her train of thoughts? Or did I ask something weird?
I mean, why is her face like that? Like she is reminiscing about a bitter past…
"If… I… remember correctly Young Master, you refused… to wear anything… that wasn't blue… since you were a child... So… I presumed that you will still prefer blue." Amy replied as she looked at me with a confused expression at first, which quickly turned hopeful.
And, hearing that I fought the urge to facepalm.
Looks like, it was not my maid, but the previous me, who didn't have any sense of clothes.
And looking at her hopeful expression, I knew what she was asking.
Suddenly, I felt sympathetic towards her.
Just imagining a super cute smaller me, throwing away all the stylish clothes that Amy brought, only to stubbornly wear blue clothes while wasting away his childhood every single day...
Yep, that gave me shivers.
Amy…. You have suffered….
But don't worry, I won't disappoint you this time.
With my inner monologue done, I looked back at Amy's hopeful eyes and said, "Well, I will be changing that today, Amy. I hope you will bring me clothes of your choice starting tomorrow."
Amy who had her wish granted, practically jumped out of her couch when she heard that and over-enthusiastically replied, "I will do my best to dress you up, Young Master!"
Her eyes lighting up, literally shining.
There was a small problem with her words but, oh well, they were just clothes anyway.
I lightly giggled at her enthusiasm before taking a seat on the couch and looking at my already served dinner.
It was nothing fancy. Just a simple but thick meat soup with bread and orange juice.
A simple meal for sick.
But before I could start eating, I had to ask, "So, what was it? You wanted to say something, right?"
"Nothing much Young Master, I was a bit unsure about how to act, but Young Master here has gotten so smart that he already solved that problem.
That aside, Young Master, have you thought about that thing, you told me about?" She asked, with her voice carrying a bit of seriousness.
"You can praise your Young Master, more directly, you know?", I said smiling smugly, not answering her question, as I moved my hand to the table in front of me and tapped it three times.
As soon as I did, a glowing control panel just like one in shower appeared. Carrying out the same process, I fiddled with it for a bit, before finding the setting I wanted, and then with a swipe of my finger the short brown tea table, had its height increased into that of a dining table.
With that done, I continued asking her my next question, still with a smile on my face, "And what do you think I decided, about that?", I said as I lifted my spoon and was about to dig in.
With a slightly mischievous look on her face, Amy said, "I think Young Master is going to get another sleeping spell if he tries to use force against Master."
And, that was just when I was about to drink a spoonful of it. Thankfully, I hadn't placed it in my mouth yet, if I had I swear, I would have spat it all out and started coughing in a fit.
I placed my spoon down and looked at my maid with an incredulous expression.
Come on!
That mood, that expression, that smile, that body language, just what of it could be connected to violence.
At first I thought she was joking, but when I heard her muttering, "Ohya? Did I get it wrong??", I didn't need to told twice by her to guess that this was probably, one of the old Rayne's quirks.
Cursing the previous Rayne two more times in my mind, I opened my mouth and explained in a monotonous voice, "It's just a difference in opinions, there is no need to 'use force' for that. We will simply talk, and sort it out tomorrow."
And I got an immediate answer from my maid, who was almost complaining, "Young Master! You can't suddenly say mature stuff like that! It feels really, really unnatural!"
And for the 3rd time today, my maid had tried and succeeded in thoroughly annoying me.
Giving her any angry look and a low "Hmph", I turned my head back to my soup and said, "Get used to it, my maid," and before she could say anything else, I continued, "and be quiet, that's an order, let me speak."
With that the maid quietened, of course, that didn't stop her from urging me with her eyes to continue, but well, you annoyed me, so, you deserve to be left hanging.
So, ignoring that urging gaze, I picked up my spoon again, once again getting a spoonful of soup and drank it.
Delicious.
As expected it was delicious.
Not caring a bit about noble etiquettes, I tore a piece of bread, dipped it in the thick soup and ate it.
Delicious. Delicious.
Then, gulping down a mouthful of juice, I cleared my mouth, before talking to my maid once again. For, I couldn't just leave her hanging. Aahh, I wished I could.
So, I started talking again not avoiding her gaze.
The content I thought was abrupt, but I knew, that it was a waste to create unnecessary tension.
"Look Amy, you are like a mother to me, you heard that right, a mother.
You are the person, who took care of me the most.
You are the person with whom, I have talked the most.
You are the person with whom, I have played with the most.
And, you are the person with whom, I have spent most of my time with.
So, getting you to do this, in the name of training feels wrong, simply wrong.
That's why I'm angry, that's why I'm annoyed, that's why I'm pissed.
You know it too, right? If I hadn't noticed it today, if I had been the same as before, then wouldn't our relationship be destroyed?
A 13-year-old relationship. One of my most important relationship. Destroyed.
And, why?
All of that, why?
Just cause, the Earl wanted me to teach me something!
What kind of fucked up reason is that!!
No way, that is right!!
Please, Amy, please... I have already lost my mother once, now, I don't want to lose you too."
My voice which was not that serious at first turned sober and then desperate and finally pleading.
I don't know when it was, maybe when I thought about my dead mother, but tears had started pouring out of my eyes.
And what was supposed to be just a speech to keep us clear, turned into something much more. Something heartfelt, and maybe…, something I really needed.
A chance to vent.
But it came so suddenly, that I couldn't believe it, wiping the tears with my fingers, feeling the moisture on them, I questioned myself.
'Really, I am crying now?'
I thought, I let it all out yesterday, but apparently, it wasn't enough.
What? Transmigration made me a crybaby?
Will I keep crying like this everytime I remember that world?
Or the fear of being controlled is unknowingly making me weak?
Is it the fear of losing my 'new' long relationships?
The fear of doing something stupid and being found out?
The fear of the new world itself?
The fear of the tragedies coming?
Maybe it was all of them, for my tears were not stopping.
-Pat
A pat.
-Pat
Another one.
-Pat
And another.
Soft, warm, pats.
They kept on raining, they kept accumulating.
My tears, which I was barely holding in poured out. My silent cry, was no longer silent, instead it was filled with sobs and sniffles.
Then a voice, a soft one, a caring one, a kind one, echoed.
"You know, your Father just wants your good, right?"
It asked a question, a question I didn't want to answer, a question I couldn't answer.
Neither my cries nor my sobs stopped but I nodded, I know, I already know that.
That was the reason the I started crying.
Seeing me nod, a warmth wrapped me, it held me, with care, with love.
And the voice, continued,
"His methods aren't always the best. Sometimes, you can't even guess what he is thinking, but he won't try to hurt you."
Hearing the voice siding with him, I wanted to escape. I didn't want hear that, I didn't want to hear what it said next, I didn't want hear it asking me to forgive him, because I couldn't and won't forgive him.
As if sensing my anxiety, the warmth tightened around me, not letting me escape, as it said, still being soft still being warm,
"But this time, he has indeed hurt you, so don't worry Rayne, I will reprimand him in full, not as his servant, but as your Mother.
You will believe your Mother, won't you?"
As soon as I heard that, all my inhibitions broke, all my self-restraint disappeared and pure feelings poured out. I hugged her with all my strength, screaming, shouting, and bellowing as I cried, cried and cried... As for the first time in this world I exposed myself to someone.
It wasn't because she told me she would reprimand him; no, it wasn't because of that small reason.
I left myself to her because she said she will be my mother. Even if it's just to reprimand him, she will be my mother. Even if it's for a short time, she will be my mother.
And if I can't cry my worries to my mother, then whom can I cry to?
So, that was what I did, crying all my heart out, leaving myself to her, as I promised to myself, I won't become this miserable again.
***
I don't know how much time passed.
The evening sun had long disappeared and eventually, I stopped my crying fit.
And when I did.
I realized what I did.
And most importantly I realized where I was.
This warmth that I enjoyed, this warmth that I longed for years, this warmth which calmed me down...
I couldn't stay in it much longer, not cause she won't allow me to, but because I won't be able to handle it.
As comforting as it was, it was just as precarious, for it was too easy to lose yourself in it.
That, and it was too embarrassing to keep hugging her, especially after I already cried myself to sleep, right?
But it wasn't easy to move, with her arms wrapped around me, still clutching me, it was quite impossible to do so.
"Ohya, has my son~ woken up~", and immediately after waking up I received great mental support. (Sarcastically said)
But as a man, I accepted my fate and moved with it, or that was what I tried to convince myself to do, as I said,
"Y-yes, A-Amy.", stammering.
And the reply, almost made me regret what I did.
"Mo~th~er~"
Shit.
ShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShit!!!!!
Just why the shiting fuck did I do thaatttt!!
That was supposed to a simple fucking talk, and here I was getting emotional just cause I was still mentally disturbed and she said she will be my mother.
Really, let's not do this again.
Then I heard another wave of mental support, "Let me see my son's cute face~.", which helped me to resolve myself.
This ultimately saved me from that softness. Literal, real softness, but brought a different predicament to me. A predicament of embarrassment, a predicament by the name of Amy.
With both my shoulders in her hands, Amy looked at my face and I was seriously so embarrassed that I couldn't even meet her eyes.
And my embarrassment only increased in multitudes, when she asked, "How embarrassed are you now, my son.", this time though, her voice wasn't playful nor was it teasing, it was closer to how it was when she consoled me back then.
And that voice compelled me, just a bit, to answer. Though my answer was barely any different from a whisper, "So, embarrassed that I want find a hole to hide in it."
A light chuckle followed by an excited, "Good.".
That was what she did before lifting my face with her hand, then she looked straight in my eyes and said with a serious yet kind voice, "Remember that embarrassment, Rayne. For, that is the price you need to pay, to turn this mother-like-maid into your mother."
Then she continued explaining herself with a twinkle in her eyes, "This will keep our bond familiar yet special. So, remember, whenever you feel weak or just want to vent, your mother will always be there for you."
With that the seriousness was gone as she mischievously continued, "Also having paid today's price, you have to call me Mother today~."
-Huuuuu
I sighed, feeling a bit calmer now.
Mother, huh?
Looks like, I found one?
So, why not call her that?
So, that was what I did.
I called her, "Mother."
Without any embarrassment, in my voice. And that, flipped some switch in her.
Her eyes shined, and her ears twitched, tail swayed, as she squealed, "Mother is going to spoil her baby now!!"
And she did exactly that.
She fed me despite my protests, she groomed me, cleaned my already clean ears, cut my nails, gave me lap pillows, styled my hair, all in all, she cherished me for hours.
Till I slept.
Though, I knew she was going to use this as a tease material, I enjoyed my 'mother' day.
But still, I promised myself, I won't let another one happen soon.
IT'S JUST TOO EMBARRASSING!!!