"Are you sure you don't want to stay for a few more days?" Carol asked as I pulled my shoes on.
"I'll be back before you know it," I assured her. And she knew it was true. ľd be back within a day or two, and I wouldn't leave for another week or so.
"Alright. Bye Jace," she said with a smile.
"Bye Carol. See you Shane," I said.
"Man, are you sure you don't want a ride home?" Shane asked.
"Positive. I need to walk off the steak and cookies," I said, popping my earphones in. "Where's Mitch?"
"He disappeared early this morning," Carol said. It was early afternoon. "I have no idea where that boy goes."
I shrugged, despite the disappointment I felt. I wanted to say bye to Mitch. Then again,I guess I was used to I gave a short wave and left their house. I turned my music up as I started to walk home. I tried to push thoughts of Mitch out of mind as I walked.
"I'm a master of construction because I'm building walls like it's my occupation. If you portray a liar, I'll shut you out without hesitation," I mumbled along with my music.
After a while, my house came into view. I pushed the door open arnd let myself in. I could hear the TV from upstairs.
"Mom," I called, walking up the stairs.
"Jace!" mom said in surprise, leaping off of the couch. "What are you doing here?"
More guilt struck me. I was away so much that she actually got surprised when I came home. God, I was a shitty son.
"Uh..I told you I was coming home. Kicking your ass in Phase 10, remember?" I said, trying to joke with her.
Her eyes widened. "Wait a minute. Who are you?"
"I..what?" I asked in confusion.
"My Jace has obnoxiously long hair," she said.
"Oh, right. Mitch cut my hair," I said, running a hand through it.
My mom broke out into a huge smile. I couldn't help but admire her. My mom was a beautiful woman. I had a fair amount of her features, which I was grateful for. My friends always joked about how she was a MILF.
"It looks good. You look very handsome, Jace," she said honestly.
"You're obligated to say that because I'm your son," I pointed out.
"True, but I'm being honest with you," she said. "I like your hair short."
She was eyeing me carefully, as if she hadn't seen me in years. I shifted nervously before sighing.
"Mom" I said.
"Hm?" She looked up, meeting my eyes.
"I'm sorry I leave all the time. I can stay home more, if you want," I said.
"No, no! Honestly Jace, you're 19 years old boys your age are always out and about. It's your summer break," she said. "Spend time with your friends! I've talked to Carol and Jasper before, and they said they love having you over."
I dropped my gaze. "But when I'm with my friends, you're alone."
She came over and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged her back, wishing I was strong enough to just stay home with her. Everyone seemed to leave my mom by herself, and she didn't deserve it.
She broke away and gripped my shoulders, looking into my eyes. "Jace, I want you to spend time with your friends. I know you're not happy when you're here. I want to see you happy. Don't worry about me, okay? I have my friends. I have clubs. I keep busy."
She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Now, let's go play Phase 10. Besides, l'd go crazy if I had to spend as much time with you as Shane does."
I knew she was lying, but I couldn't help but admire my mother's strength. I followed her into the kitchen and she dealt out the cards, pouring us each lemonade. She set out a plate of brownies and winked at me.
"I made these yesterday. See? I keep busy," she said.
I cracked a smile at her and we began to play. We chatted as we played. I told her about my adverntures with Shane and Mitch (excluding anything that I knew would give my poor mother a heart attack), and she told me about going out with her friends and how her clubs were going.
It was a casual afternoon. She opened the back door to let in a nice breeze and the background sound of chirping birds and rustling leaves.
We drank lemonade and ate brownies and taunted each other. We joked and aughed and I found my guilt tucking itself away as I bonded with my mom. I really loved my mom and loved spending time with her. I just hated being home. It was complicated, but I knew she understood.
"So Jace...you've been single for a while," mom said, bringing up a conversation that she had amazingly held off on for a while.
"Yea, well, maybe I'm happy being single," I said, Mitch flashing through my mind. "You don't need a relationship to be happy."
"You don't even have your mind on anyone?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No," I said as casually as I could.
"Your nose twitches when you lie," she said, grinning at me. "So, who do you like?"
I groaned and stuffed a brownie in my mouth so that I wouldn't have to reply to that. I didn't want to tell her I liked Mitch. God only knew the conversation that would explode from that information.
"Jace, come on! You can tell me," she said, drawing another card. "Also, I'm skipping you. So you have more time to tell me." She laid down the skip card.
"Mom," I said, pouting. "Let it go!"
"No, no, no. Just tell me who you like! I'm not going to tell anyone," she said, rolling her eyes and drawing another card
"I don't...I don't know if I really like him," I admitted.
I had come out to my mom as gay when I was 14 years old. She had told me she'd always known, ever since I was little. She had accepted me easily. Then again, I could tell my mom I was a meth addict and she'd still love me. She was that kind of person. Hell, that kind of mother.
"Well who is he?" she asked curiously. "A boy from school?"
I couldn't just lie to her. She was right; my damn nose twitched whenever I tried to lie. I just had to casually change the subject. Yea, yea. That could work. Just casually change the subject, Jace. She'll never even notice.
"So instead of focusing on my love life, these brownies are amazing." I said, holding one up.
"Jace," she said with a sigh. "I wish you'd tell me. Why is it such a big deal?"
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. "Because, like I told you, I don't even know if I really like him."
But I did know I liked Mitch. I could feel it. I always felt this way when I liked someone. I hated it. I didn't want to like Mitch. I wanted our relationship to stay brotherly. I didn't want to make anything awkward between us.
"Well if you won't tell me who he is or where he's from, will you at least tell me if I know him?" she asked.
"No," I said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because...it's weird," I said uncomfortably. "I mean he's weird. Well, he's not weird. It's just...yea."
She chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll let it drop. For now."
"Oh good, I get a two minute break from it," I said jokingly.
"I'll give you until you finish your next glass of lemonade," she said with a wink. But then she frowned and her expression turned serious.
"Jace, you're behaving, right? I mean, when you're with Shane and Mitch. You're not getting drunk or doing drugs, are you? Please tell me the truth."
"Mom, calm down. I have a few drinks sometimes, but I'm not out shooting heroin into my veins and having a ton of sex," I promised.
"That's not funny!" she said, but her face lightened a little. "I just..I worry about you, Jace. I worry about you a lot. I know you're a good boy. I know you and Shane and Mitch are all good boys. But.."
"Mom, I'm not going to do anything bad. I promise," I said.
Sure, I got high and drunk sometimes. Sure, I wasn't a virgin. Sure, I liked to party. But I would never do any hard drugs. I would never let myself become an alcoholic. I wouldn't let myself become a bad person.
"You'll tell me if you do anything bad, won't you. You know I'll help you, Jace. I won't get mad at you," she said.
I mentally sighed. I hated how much my mom worried about me. She was scared that she wasn't a good enough mom, and that I would start doing bad things because of it.
"Mom, come on," I said, smiling at her. "Stop trying to distract me just because I'm beating you."
Her face lightened and she smiled at me. "You wish, kid" she said.
I reached out, drawing another card. I discarded and watched as my mom drew a card, and sipped on my lemonade. We fell back into our playful, casual mood, taunting each other and having a good time.
We were both startled out of laughter at the sound of banging on our front door. We glanced at each other curiously, neither expecting company.
"I'll get it," I said, standing up.
I jumped in surprise as the urgent banging reached our ears again. I hurried through the house to the front door.
The banging started yet again, and I wondered who the hell was slamming on our door in the middle of the day like the devil was after them. I pulled the front door open...
And was met with the sight of a bloody Mitch.