Several times I woke up to the sound of the machine,
The machine that been with me since I had open my eyes on this place.
Without this machine I'm nothing but a living corpse
Living yet breathless
I heard a series of knocks, and then I heard the door opens
I can't see whose coming but I can hear their footsteps.
'' Angel, it's time for your med, darling ''it's Nina my nurse, she's the one taking care of me since I went here. She helped me to sit up so I can take my daily dosage. This is my everyday routine, since I diagnose that I have lymphoma
'' how are you? Are you okay? Do you feel any pain? ''
"Nina, what type of question is that? When is the time that I'm okay? And when is the time that I don't feel any pain?'' I saw the glimpse of sadness through her eyes, I don't need their sympathy.
''sorry'' why people keep on saying sorry on the things that will never change?
"Ahahaha, its ok Na, I already accepted my faith long time ago "I fake my laugh. I used on faking things since day one
"Haistt, keep believing, God is always there' 'I know, but instead of voicing it out I just shrugged my shoulder. After she helps me do my personal stuff she left
So, what will I do now? Stare at the ceiling until the end of the day? I tried to write on my journal but no help, there is no idea coming. I reach for the remote to watch Netflix but no help; I clicked the remote to different channel. What is happening to me? I waited for less than a minute, hoping that there's a miracle will happen and my boredom will washed away quickly but for the second time of hoping I failed, I look at my watch and its 9:30, I waited a minute before I slowly reach for my wheelchair ,wondering how I do it?, I'm weak but I'm not paralyzed.
I moved my wheelchair forward, and then I begin to stroll around. Some nurses saw me and ask if where I want to go, so I asked them if they can send me to the garden. Of all places in this hospital, this place is my favorite; these became my sanctuary when I feel sad and hopeless. Fresh air and the blooming flowers washed my worries away. I sat on one of the swings, I want to swing myself higher but I can't it's too risky. So, I contended myself on watching the flowers.
As I savor the beautiful scenery, I saw a pink balloon stuck on the tree leaves. I tried to find some brunch to get the string of the balloon but, all I can see is small branches. I saw a medium size stone near me, I get it and throw it out, and I'm shock because someone groans. WAIT? THERE'S ANYONE THERE? I'm sure I didn't saw anyone, so what is that? And my entire question was answered when a tall man wearing a white v neck shirt paired with faded jean appeared. His eyes look weary but why she looks so hot? I snap my inner thoughts and focus myself on the guy whose now walking towards me with stone an on his hand, wait don't tell me?
'' is it you?'' he asked
"I don't know that your there-"
''I'm asking if it is you?''
"Yes, look I'm sorry ok? I didn't mean it, I don't know that you are there swear. I just want to get the balloon" then I pint my finger to the balloon that stuck until now.
''OK" she shortly answered. That's it? He will not get mad at me?
"Ok? You will not say anything?"
"Yes, why? Is there something that you want me to say?"
"Ahm, nothing but-"He don't let me finished I'm about to say just turn his back at me. Ok? What's with him? He's snob, far from the way he looks, I just smiled realizing I already complimenting the guy in my mind. A minutes later Nina came to fetch me.
I'm currently reading my favorite book when some nurse entered. Nina go and talk to the nurse I'm just looking at them. I saw the nurse holding a balloon, its familiar. Is it the same balloon in the garden? But before I voice out my thoughts, Nina called me.
"OH, someone wants this to give to you"
"Who?"
"I don't know, according to the nurse he never give his name, you stay here, I will come back with your lunch" then just like that she leave me with the balloon
" he? So it's a guy?" I look at the balloon and noticed something on the string. There is a rolled paper tied on it. I open it and saw nothing. I'm about to throw it away when I started to read something on it. It's the type of paper that only a sunlight can make the letters readable, wow it's my first time to receive this kind of paper'
'It's, been a long time my Angel." That's what written on the paper. My heart beat faster, who is this? It's from L according to lower part of the letter, but who's L?