"So the thing is, our English teacher gave us an assignment, well actually it wasn't an assignment. The thin-.."
"Ollie, chill, breath, you okay?" I say, he's been rambling for the past 10 minutes. And I'm kinda spook the way he was acting. I couldn't concentrate on the problem I am working. The library isn't that helping. Are the libraries supposed to be a quiet zone?
"Roses are red."
"Violets are blue."
"This poem is gay."
"And I am too."
He says looking straight to my eyes. Fingers fidgeting over the books scattered infront of him.
Wait what? I think I'm dumbfounded. Literally.
"Wait, what?" I voice out.
"Roses are red."
"Violets are bl-..
"Yeah, I've heard you." I say
"You're gay?"
"You're coming out to me in the form of a poem?" this time it's my turn to ramble.
"Are you sure? In a form of poem? Really? I mean, it cut-.."
"Rafael, chill, breathe. You okay?" he says, repeating what I said.
I nod in response.
League. League. League. League. League. League. League. League.
Why the hell I'm thinking about the League right now? Shit. This isn't happening. Shit. This is happening.
"Are you sure you're really okay? You look like you're going to pass out." he says, his whole demeanor is full of concern.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. Sorry, just a bit suprised." I say, closing my work paper. His eyes sticking to my stuffs.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I hope that's okay?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Did you tell anyone?" I ask.
"You, dad, and a random person I saw in Wickery Bridge."
"A random? Why?" I say confusion plastered on my face.
"I don't know. I just had to. I felt to." he says as if I made him ashamed of his sexuality.
"I'm okay with that." I say.
"Really?"
"Really!"
His eyes beaming with contentment.
"What were you doing in the Wickery Bridge?" I ask.
"Nothing."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Can you tell them? I won't really mind."
I nod.
● ● ●
"Ollie is gay."
Mom look me in the eyes. My hands feels wet. I look at them. They're sweating. It's cold.
"Okay." thats it?
"Who's gay?" Alex comes in.
"Ollie." Mom says and smile.
"Oh. Okay." Alex says the same.
"You okay Raf?" Alex asks.
"Yeah. I'm okay, are you?"
"I'm okay."
"I'm going to see Connie." I say.
I can feel their eyes on me.
● ● ●
"Get your head in the game, Miller!" Coach says.
"Hey, dude, what's wrong?" Jensen asks.
"Nothing." I say.
"Okay." he says dribbling the ball away.
Shit. I guess I'm a little shaken up.
Not in this town. This shitty town. I look around. No one, not ever, has EVER, gets into a relationship with the same gender in this freaking town. Okay I may have said that out loud.
"Miller, get back here, you're benched." Coach yells at me.
Everyone's eyes on me. My head hanging low. Shit.
"What is wrong with you today?" Coach asks. I don't respond. I got bench.
The game continues.
My mind go over back to Ollie. I'm happy he came out to me. I'm happy for him. How about me?
Dad, would you be proud of me?
Are you ever proud of me?
Game ends. Everyone go to the lockers and change. Jensen nudge at me. I see him in the eyes. "I'm good. Just tired. Tired." I go out without changing.
Today I'm going to the diner shop and resign. Maybe about time; the Junior League is waiting for me. I have to focus, I need to focus on it. Or else. Or else, I'm nothing.
● ● ●
The manager gave me my extra bonus and the pay check for this month. I haven't told my family about the decision I made.
"What ever happens, we're here for you."
I go straight to the court. I see my friends currently playing. I join in. Everything fades away. My eyes are suddenly wet. I look up at the sky. Gloomy. It's raining. I thanked the rain.
Ollie sent me a text. I open it and it reads: "Come over. I got a suprise for you." a smiley, a big smiley at the end of the text. I go to my car and drive.
Ollie is waiting for me at their door's step. He's waving at me. I smile and go out.
"Come in." he pulls me inside.
I haven't changed. I smell sweaty. I hope he doesn't mind.
"Hi, Mr. Oswald." I greet Ollie's dad in the living room watching a sitcom. I smile.
"Hey kid." he greets.
Ollie went upstairs and return, holding something on his back.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Take a guess." I hate guessing games. But I guess anyway. I make exceptions for him. "Ball?" I say. Why not? I love balls.
"No. Take another guess." he says smiling. "Balls."
"Noooo." he says laughing. I laugh out loud too.
"Quiet kids." Mr. Oswold says in the living room. "Sorry, dad." he says.
"Okay, I will give you a hints." I nod. I made an exception for him.
"Small. Very small."
"Okay?"
"Shiny. It stands. Or not, sometimes."
"Ohhhh!" my eyes are wide open.
"You didn't." I say.
"Yes I did." he says giggling.
It was a figurine. A limited one. A very limited one.
"Thank you so much!" I pull him into a bear hug.
"Congratulations." he says. My face formed into a confusion. "For the game. " he says.
"You didn't need to, but thanks." I put the figurine in my pocket.
He pulls me into his room. The sky is clear. The stars are shining brightly in the night sky.
"I guess we can use the telescope tonight."
"Come see this."
"Wow!"
"That's Andromeda."
"This is Cassiopeia." he glides the telescope just above the last one.
"This is so beautiful. They are so beautiful." I say, my eyes on the eyepiece.
"They are." he says, almost whispering to my ear.
I never knew constellations are real. Not just some horoscope some fortune tellers made.
There's a new whole world out thers.
I feel extremely happy.
I drive back to my house. I plan on putting the figurine in my car. Right infront of me, just behind the steering wheel.
Dreams are real.