I took a shower at the hospital, I need to calm down my mind before taking any action, think nicely . I must say a shower helped a lot , I wore a net set of cloth given by the hospital stuff. My body was perfect...but this body has become fat and ugly , my hairs are rough. dry skin and two dark eyes.....I look like a ghost walking in the earth. I now remember how I use to body shame others , make fun of their skin color , use to make fun of their choice to selecting family over career.
Now as I look in the mirror I see a helpless girl who lost hope in life , a wife who lost her husband and a helpless mother who has to take care of lots of children's without any help....so many roles , so many responsibilities , I feel so bad about my actions right now. My arrogant and selfish self would never understand these things.
My grandma was right , she use to say ' Their will be no waiting to go in hell for your punishment, for every action that you do , every work done by you....judgment will be done here in this world ' and I think my judgment day has finally here.
" will you meet with your kids ? " asked the nurse politely. I nodded and started walking with her. She took me inside a room where their was eight cradles and their were the little kids sleeping peacefully. Anyone will think them as eight little angles , but from where I am looking at them I can see eight mouths that I have to feed , eight heads for whom I have to look for shelter ....and all that I have to do alone . I know its not their fault , they are not responsible for my condition but its hard to think a future with them . But knowing what may happen in future with them I can't let history to repeat itself. I will have to do something about it. But than the same question ....what ?
" Where are the twins ? " I asked the nurse and she again leaded me to the lobby , both the girls are sitting together , their is juice and breakfast but they have not touched them and kept staring at the wall clock , like they are waiting for something ....like the wait will turn their future. I have read their name its June and April. seriously the host didn't even tried to search for better name.
I walked near them and took a sit beside them , they looked at me with wide eyes. " Finish your breakfast , otherwise you will feel sick....be good girls and eat. " I told them. They nodded in Union and started eating the breakfast. Now , I have to think with a calm head about what to do next but for that I need to talk with them.
They finished eating their food , I took them in my room help them wash up a bit and combed their hairs. Their complexion looked much better. ' Only they can help me now..... with the current situation where I don't know anything they can give me some information. The nurse left us mother and daughters together and went on her rounds.
" Listen , now carefully hear me ....mummy had a difficult surgery and that made mummy forget many things.... doctor said its called amnesia. Now its your duty to remind mummy everything that I forgot. " I told in a serious tone than took a break and than told " Now tell me when you last time saw daddy ? " I asked them first.
" I saw him last when he drove home to get us and bring us here to stay with you and left. It was two days ago when you were lying motionless on the bed. He has not contacted us ever since. " said one of the girls who I assume is April.
" Tell her nicely ....she is having difficulty in recalling things right. Mummy your name is karishma sharma , your father Arpan sharma and mother Arati sharma , our daddy's name is Arjun Ray , your in-laws are saarjun Ray and sanjay Ray . My name is June and she is April. our house is 21 street , 1/6 pole stand. Mummy you are a house wife your parents died many years ago and their is no one in your family side. Our grandparents is still alive but you don't talk much with them , even granny doesn't like you much. " she told and paused to take break , Hmmm my girl is so smart...wait what ? ( you just considered her your daughter) did I just hear another voice inside me ??
" There is another person you must know..... " said June but she hesitated to complete the sentence . " Yes dear who is it ? " I asked her. she told " Nia aunty , new wife of daddy. she went in our house and made scene just before you fainted and when you fainted she took some money from safe and left. You stayed their for long time than I called your friend.... Samrat Choudhary he brought you here. " OK than I have a friend.
" Samrat choudhary ? " I should know about the person who helped me and can help me in future. " Samrat uncle is a lawyer and currently you don't talk with him....reason I don't know. He did a lot for you. " lawyer...just the person I need right now. " can you call him and say mummy wants to meet with you ? " I asked her to which she nodded.
" okay than call him and tell him that mummy wants to talk with him something very important and also thank him for helping us in need . And go rest I have heard you didn't rest well yesterday. " I told , they nodded and went out. well life may not be that bad ( that's what you think ).
Again that female voice....am I going crazy ? ( Nope Darling , I am Mind1000 programmed to serve you. I will be your information gainer , planner, councillor , managing and guiding through difficulties ) In short you act like Google ? ( NO....I am far more advance than that , my program is connected with your brain so that I can read your inner thoughts and help you . so that you don't look like a complete idiot talking with herself , I am a mothers managing program . ) in other words like a google [ yes ] , that's nice what should I call you ? ( whenever you want to contact with me say ' Titli ' and I will be their ) , OK cool.
Hope I am not going crazy ( trust me girl you are not , I have a physical body that I will show you someday but till than I am at your service through your mind. But of course we maintain privacy so I will only visit when you need me and hear how much you want me to hear ) Now that I have some power ....its going to be fun ( that's not your power but all the best friend). Thanks.
Tell me nice quote according my situation ( Be blind to your past , deaf to your future and focus in your present ) hmm that works. ( were you just trying to check it like weather net is working or not ? ) sorry!! but yes. ( Bye! ) did she just shut me out ??? well must say titli is dramatic.