"Honey, Nat is here to see you." My mother shouts from downstairs.
No.
No.
No.
I'm not ready to see her, not just yet. My fists clench,as the events of last night rush into my mind,again.
Betrayal. The only word that kept running into my head over and over.
It was too soon to see her.
"Mom, I'm really not in the mood to see anyone, please." I shout back, knowing well enough she was down and could hear me.
What I didn't expect, was at that very moment for the door to open, with a confused Natalie in front of it.
She looked perfect. Just like every other day. With her long blonde hair up in a ponytail, her face perfectly dipped with the right amount of makeup and her nails perfectly manicured. I roll my eyes as she steps in.
" what is up with you? You haven't answered any of my calls or my messages and here you are dressed in your pajamas, curled up in your bed. This is so unlike you." She says, pissed.
She's pissed at me? After what she's done? And she had the fucking nerve to even come here and be mad at me? It takes all of me to not stand up and slap her. Bitch.
" Well you should've thought about that before making out with my boyfriend." I say, through gritted teeth.
Her eyes widen in shock as she tries to say something but stops.
"I-I- when exactly d-did you find out?" She says, guilt all over her features.
"When? So it's happened more than once? Wow okay." I yell.
I knew well enough it had happened more than once, but hearing it from her just confirmed my thoughts, making it worse.
"I don't know what to say to make you feel any better, but all I can say is I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry Cami." She says ,her eyes not meeting mine.
"Why?" I yell, my voice shaky.
Her head snaps to me immediately as though she didn't expect me to ask that.
"I- I don't know, Cam. It just sort of happened." She says.
Anger boils in me as I clench my fists even more tightly, in an attempt to avoid throwing anything or slap her.
" You don't know? Are you fucking kidding me?After all this and yet you have nothing to say? It just sort of happened? You just sort of happen to betray your best friend? Did you just sort of happen to jump on his dick?" I yell again.
"I'm s-sorry." She says, as a tear slips down her eye.
"When? Since when has this been going on?" I say, but it merely comes out as a shaky whisper.
She looks up at me, but says nothing.
"Since when?" I yell, even angrier by her silence.
"Five months." She says, finally.
My eyes widen and I let out a gasp. I run my hands through my already messed up hair, ruffling it up even more as I grab the empty vase from my bedside table and throw it down, beyond frustrated.
Natalie watches the pieces of the broken vase on the floor as she tries coming closer to me, in an attempt to comfort me. I pull my arm away from her immediately, nothing she did could make this okay. She needed to go from here before I ended up doing something worse. I hated how my temper took control of my emotions, just like always.
I couldn't believe it. Five months. Thoughts of Derek and I when we first started dating pour into my head. The time we kissed for the first time, the first time we had sex with each other , our first date and so much more.
A tear starts to slip away from my eye as I wipe it. No, not again. I wouldn't cry this time. It wasn't worth it. I look at Natalie as she looks down, sniffling. She looks back at me and breaks down.
Every nerve in my body tells me to go to her, make her to stop crying but what she just said a minute ago repeats in my head again, and all the emotions I felt, go away.
"Just get out Natalie. I don't want to ever see you again and I mean it." I say, coldly. I couldn't recognise myself at this point.
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My mother knew something was going on but she didn't bring anything up. She didn't even say anything when I picked the pieces of the broken vase and threw it away.
I go to my mirror to look at my disheveled state. Oh boy did I look like that homeless guy outside Burger King. I really needed to take a nice shower.
As though on cue I receive a message from John, inviting me for his party tonight.
It was just what I needed. Alcohol. Or need I say vodka. I craved that flaming feeling in my throat mostly because I didn't remember anything after.
I text him saying I'd be there and go and get ready.
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I smile as I look at myself in the mirror, satisfied with my appearance.
It was a black dress cutting short just above my knee and I paired it with faux leather boots that ended at my calf. The entire ensemble was a bit wilder than what I would usually wear but tonight wasn't usual circumstances.
As I finish straightening my hair, Maya calls.
"Hey." I say.
"Hey, I heard you were coming to John's too so I thought um maybe we could go together?" She asks, nervously.
"Yeah of course, should I pick you up or?"
" Yeah, that'd be great, thanks Cam." She says.
"No problem, I'll be there in ten." I hang up and look for my keys.
As I go downstairs, I don't find either of my parents and I feel relieved. I didn't want to face them at this moment. I'd tell them everything soon, just not now. I needed to get drunk, dance and hopefully forget about this whole thing.
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As I enter the house, I spot Derek alone in a corner, drinking.
What was he doing here?
I rush to the kitchen as I realised now was the time for that drink.
I gulp down the whole cup in one go. My throat burns as I shake my head. I gulp down another cup as I feel a little woozy in the head .
My eyes start watering as my throat burns even more.
"Woah, easy there." A guy next to me says. I look at him and he smiles.
Dimples emerge from his cheek as he looks at my empty cup. He looked cute. A curly mop of blonde hair almost covered his blue eyes. He looked lean but strong.
"Are you gonna say something or keep staring?" He chuckles as I blush.
A foreign confidence takes over me as I pull out my hand forward and say, " Wanna dance?"
He smiles and squeezes my hand as he leads me to the dance floor. Before we go I take another cup and gulp it down. Now I was ready.
Alcohol takes control of me as we dance, our bodies pressed against each other. I grind my hips closer to his as he looks down at me, intensely.
I look back and see Derek looking at us, his mouth wide open. I smirk as I look back at the blonde stranger.
He bends down as I tilt my head. He presses his lips on mine and I snake my arms around his neck.
As he slid his tongue inside my mouth, he moved his arms on my waist, pulling me closer. He tasted of whiskey and something else I couldn't make out and that's when realisation hit me. As his hands kept going lower, I removed my arms and pulled away from him.
He looks at me with confusion but I just walk away.
I rush to the washroom as I look at myself in the mirror. What the fuck was I doing? Kissing someone else to make myself feel better?
Didn't work, did it now? I say to my subconscious as I shake my head.
I was feeling dizzy and was in no state to drive.
I began to look for Maya, hoping she was more sober than I was.
Thankfully she was. She was laughing and talking to John as he looked at her with adoration.
God, they did make a cute pair . She really should forget about that asshole and be with John. He made her happy. I smile as I approach them. Maya looks at me , shocked.
"How much did you drink, Cam?" She asks.
" Ugh I don't remember. I just, I really need to go home but I can't drive. Could you maybe please get me home? I'm so sorry to disturb you like this but-"
" Gosh, of course. Stop apologising. You came all the way for me yesterday and I can't even do this much for you? Don't be stupid, Cam." She says, laughing.
I sigh in relief as we go away from the party. As we're almost out, someone grabs my wrist, stopping me. I look back to see Derek.
Perfect. Just the guy I needed to see.
"What the fuck do you want, Derek?" I say, removing my hand forcefully.
"Can we talk? Please?" He says.
"Sure, what do you wanna say?" I say as I cross my arms.
"Uh alone." He says looking at Maya.
She looks at me as I nod at her as she walks away.
"What the fuck do you have to say? You have done enough." I say, surprising myself at how calm I sounded.
" I really don't know how to make this up to you. I'll do anything, baby. I love you, it's always been you, Cam." He says as he strokes my cheek with his fingers.
I remove his hand immediately, disgusted by his words and his touch.
"What makes you think that anything could ever make up for what you did?" I yell.
" I'm sorry Cam, I don't know what else to say. I want this to work." He says pointing at the both of us.
He wishes.
If there was anything worse than my temper, it was my ego, and he thought I'd forgive him for this.
I almost laugh at those presumptions.
"This is never going to work because I don't trust you anymore. God knows why I even dated a prick like you." I say, through gritted teeth.
" Look, you're making this difficult for me here Cam. I'm trying to apologise. If it makes you feel any better I was with Natalie only for sex. We didn't have any other relationship, I swear." He says.
The nerve he had to say that. I was beyond angry at this point and I clench my fists to stop myself from kicking him in the balls.
"Makes me feel better? Are you fucking serious? You know what would make me feel better though?" I yell as I slap him , hard. My palm feels warm from the friction that was just made, making me feel much better.
He looks at me, his eyes wide as I walk away. Betrayed me or not, Natalie didn't deserve this. For that matter, no one did.
*******************************************
As I entered home, my mother stood near the couch, her arms crossed, glaring at me.
"Will you finally tell me what's going on?" She asks, as she rubs her temples.
And so I sit down and explain the whole story, obviously leaving behind the part where I made out with that stranger.
She takes a deep breath and finally says,
"Look honey, I get that what Derek and Nat did was wrong and how you feel, but drinking down vodka to make yourself feel better is not the right answer, young lady."
And deep down I knew she was right and that was exactly why I loved her.
"I know, I'm sorry mom. This really won't happen again, I promise." I say, meaning it.
"Good, now go back to bed." She says and I obey.
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