"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it."
― Rumi
*******
"Promise me you won't leave my side ever, just like my papa did to me! Promise me you will never leave me, and stay by my side forever! Do you promise Didi?" I asked my childhood best friend, as tears kept on falling at the side of my cheeks.
This is the day, I found out why my mom asked my dad, to get out of the house and not to show his face to us ever again.
I love my dad so much, that's why I felt so hurt after knowing the fact that he made his mistress pregnant.
I thought he was the best dad of all, but it turns out he's a demon hiding behind an angel mask in front of us.
I heard my Tita Agnes and mom talking secretly in my mom's room awhile ago.
Mom was crying so hard while Tita Agnes is patting her back, to calm her down. And that's where I found out, the real reason why she let go of my dad.
My father has his mistress...
A mistress he keeps on hiding from us, a long time ago.
I was literally shock as I heard the news, but what more painful is that his mistress is my mom's best friend Tita Laida.
And now she's pregnant.
I couldn't believe she is my godmother, for damn sake.
I hate her! She's a whore! A homewrecker!
She stole papa away from me! From us!
How can I ever forgive her! She ruined our family! She made me hate my mom because I thought it was all my mom's idea of why she made my papa leave the house!
At first I thought mom no longer love my papa but it all turns out, it was all she and my papa's fault why my mom is crying and breaking at this time! I hate her! I hate them!
I feel so guilty for every painful word I yelled to mama yesterday after my papa leaves the house.
And now I'm breaking and hurting because my system couldn't accept the fact, that my father is an asshole.
Didi squat in front of me, as he starts holding my little hands. His other hand tries to reach for my face and start wiping them dry using his thumb, while the other hand tries to hold my hands.
His gestures made me calm down for a bit, as he made me face his natural baby blue eyes, that he got from his American dad.
"Look at me baby Tine-tine." He commanded, trying to shift my gaze to his eyes.
I lift my head a bit to see him and tries to meet his eyes, looking so lovely as always.
"I promise to never leave your side, ever just like what Tito did to you. I promise to always be here for you, no matter what happens, even the whole world turns its back at you. I promise, that I'll be here."
"So come on now baby, stop crying ok? Everything will be alright, I promise." He said smiling sweetly before he raises my one hand and starts to do the pinky promise.
"Stop crying now, baby? Ok? I got you!" He said before he starts caressing my cheeks and kissing my eyes.
I close my eyes as soon as I felt his lips touch them. And give out a sweet smile too. I then stand on my feet and hugged his neck tight.
"You're the best BFF ever Didi! Thank you!" I told him smiling from ear to ear while hugging him tightly.
I was hugging him tightly when suddenly, the whole background start changing. I am still hugging him, but this time, I am crying and he is crying too.
He is now standing beside a black car, with its door open ready to take my Didi away from me.
"NO DIDI!" I cried while holding Didi's hand tight, the people around us holds his other hand, while trying to take him away from my reach.
"DIDI SAID, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE TINETINE SIDE FOREVER! PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY DIDI AWAY FROM ME! Tita, please? Please?" I asked Tita Agnes, who is standing at Didi's back.
I hugged Didi as tightly as I can, so they can't take him away from me.
We are both crying hard, knowing that this would be the last time we will see each other personally.
"Baby, please don't cry. Didi will be back again in time. Didi loves baby Tinetine so much."
"Didi will go back again to be with baby Tinetine, and she would realize Didi did not leave her at all. I'll be back. I love you, baby!" said Didi, as he starts to loosen my gripped on him.
He breaks the hug as he enters the black car, with his mom Tita Agnes, his big brother Kuya Ryan and his father Tito James.
As the car moved, mama and my Kuya Leo tries to calm me down while I am crying so hard, I could no longer manage to breathe properly. I am crying so hard, I just wanted to turn back the time where I can still be with Didi like we use to be.
I felt betrayed, deceive, and hurt after knowing that my best friend is leaving. If only he told me earlier. If only he didn't promise those things, maybe I shouldn't feel this hurt at all.
"Les!" I could hear my mom calling me.
"Les! Wake up, sweetheart!" Mom called out again.
"Hmm... Five minutes more please!" I moaned as I pull the blanket up my chin.
"What do you mean five minutes? Come on sweety time to get up!" Mom pulled the blanket and start shaking me.
"Get up now princess! Come down and eat breakfast with us, or we'll be late!" my mom said before getting out of my room, and shutting the door close.
As soon as I heard the word 'late' I immediately sit on my bed, with wide eyes.
I look at the alarm clock beside my bed and saw that its already 7:30 am!
Oh, crop! I am so dead! I'm pretty sure our business law professor is going to kill me!
I hurried inside the bathroom to do my morning rituals and start fixing myself to go to school.
I wipe my face and found out that my cheeks and eyes are wet from tears.
Another dream from my past again.
It's so tiring to think that I always dream of the same scenarios every night about Didi's broken promises and his leaving.
I always find it odd to keep on seeing myself crying about it over and over again!
Like, what the fuck girl! Can't, you just get over it and move on?
It's already been 10 years since that time happened, and we are no longer a kid! I am already 21 and Didi is already on his 22.
I'm sure he already found a new best friend there in the US.
I'm pretty sure he forgot about me and his promise a long time ago.
I knew he has forgotten me already, because if it's true that he still remember me, then why the hell he's not reaching to me at all?
Ten years had past and he never dares to even try reaching me out even once, for those ten years. And I hate him for that.
Didi is just the same as my dad. They were both a lier, a jerk, and a piece of shit.
I hate him to death, that once I ever see him again, I would smock him in the face and show him, that I don't need him in my life.
I am good now that he's gone...
After I do all my rituals and done taking a bath. I wore my uniform and hurriedly go down the stairs.
"I won't eat breakfast today Mom! I am super late for school!" I yelled at mom, so she can hear me from the kitchen.
I hold a grip on the stairs railings while wearing my black shoes.
"GTG mom! Bye-bye!" I bid goodbye to mom and was about to open the door when mom took a peek from the kitchen and look at me.
I am already holding the doorknob and was about to step my right foot out when Mom yelled something that almost breaks my whole world. Hahhaha, of course, I am just kidding, piece!
"Where are you going, sweety? Today is Sunday! There's no class today baby!" Mom yelled while holding a huge spoon.
I look at them in slow-motion, while having my eyes wide.
"What the fudge? Then why the freaking hell did you wake me up so early in the morning?" I complain.
I even step my foot hard on the floor just to show how annoyed I was as my beauty sleep get ruined for the sudden call.
"But sweety, today is your Tita Agnes return from the US! Had you forgotten that already? Were going to fetch her at the NAIA Airport!" Mom said making me roll my eyes.
"Tita Agnes?" I said tilting my head while wrinkling my forehead.
"Yup. She also said Ace is coming with her this time!" Mom said with a hint of excitement in her eyes.
"Arent you excited baby? Your sweet Didi is coming back from ten years of absence." Mom added, which made me have a bitter look in my eyes.
"Mom..."
"to tell you honestly, I am not even a bit excited about that fact. If he truly treasures me as his best friend and he meant his promise with me before, then he should come back here in the Philippines earlier than now."
"I don't care if it was just a visit just like Tita Agnes and Kuya Ryan did before."
"He would go back, whenever he could, but he never did. Not even once from that ten years." I turn my back at them as i walk back to my room and change my clothes.
"I'm not going, Mom! Just tell Tita Agnes, my regards." I yelled from my room while changing my clothes.
"Are you sure baby? Tita Agnes will feel sad if you didn't come to fetch her this year." Kuya Leon knocked outside my room, while I am still changing.
"Tita can always come here whenever she wants to see me. And I am busy since I have so many cases to digest. I'll be doing all of this first since the deadline would be on Monday." I lied.
I don't have a case to digest since I am already done with that. I just don't like the idea of seeing Ace again. I hate him so damn much.
"Well if that's the case, then we won't insist anymore. Good luck with digesting your cases baby. Were going now." Kuya Leon bid goodbye.
"Sure Kuya! Take care!" I said dismissing him before I heard his footsteps getting far.
Once I made sure that Kuya is already gone, that's the only time I get to breathe properly.
I sat on the edge of my bed, before sighing. But it didn't take long when I heard my door open. And from the outside, my younger brother Tyrone step inside my room.
"Ate! I heard you told Kuya that you're not coming with us to fetch your Didi?" Tyrone said while pouting, what the freaking hell is wrong with this kid.
"Yes, you can go with them, Ty! I'll be fine here," I told Ty smiling sweetly.
Ty is five years younger than me, but he is very much taller than I am. In fact, at first look, you might think he is older than me, because he already has matured features, than I am at the age of 16.
Ty then hugged my side, while putting his chin on my shoulder.
"Then I'm not coming with them too. I heard you have so many schools works to do! I don't know about that Didi guy since I haven't met him before, so I am not interested in coming at all. I'll just stay here and make your treats while you're doing your school loads." Ty said pouting like a duck, looking so adorable.
My little brother and Kuya Leon is so sweet. They were the type of guy who is so picky and snob with other girls. But with me? They are the sweetest!
Though there are times when they love treating me like a baby annoys me so much.
No! Scratch that. They always treat me like a baby, because I look like one. In fact, the only thing that grows on me is my age. So people always think that I am the youngest among the three of us.
Mom, Kuya, and even Tyrone use to call me baby. At first, I always felt annoyed by that fact, but then I get used to it so I just let them.
"Ty, I can handle myself don't worry. Go with them, I'm sure Tita Agnes missed you so much too." I told him before messing up his hair.
"H-hey! Stop that!" Ty complains before breaking his hug and start fixing his hair.
I just laughed so hard while looking at my baby brother acting so cute again, while pouting and giving out dagger looks.
"I was just thinking, we'll be out for a bit long, and you might start starving yourself while we're gone." He insisted.
"She'll be fine Ty! I already made her food at the table, and here is your treats baby Les. Just eat when you're hungry. I cooked you your favorite caldereta at the table, and here are sandwiches and milk." Kuya suddenly popped out inside my room carrying a tray with so many tuna sandwiches and a glass of milk and start putting them above my study table.
"Sure Kuya! Thank you." I told him before kissing him on his cheeks while smiling, which I did too to Ty.
"Take care, and have fun!" I added while smiling at them sweetly while waving my hands, bidding them goodbye.
"We'll sure do," Kuya said with a smile before he messes my hair.
"We're going now, baby! Take care Ate!" Ty said as he kissed me on my cheeks, which I answer with a sweet smile.
After they finally leave my room, Mom came into my room and kissed me goodbye.
I look outside the window of my room and wave my family goodbye while smiling before they finally enter Kuya Leo's car and drive away.
Once I made sure that, I am the only one inside the house, I start to heave a sigh, and sit at the edge of my bed again. I took one tuna sandwich from my study table and start eating them.
How I wish I wouldn't have to see that jerk ever again.
I let my body fall on top of my soft purple cotton bed.
I raised both of my hands, and peek on the edge of my fingers. I smirked.
Ten years...
It's already been ten years, and I can still remember all his words when I was six years old.
Ten long years had passed by already, and I am still hunted by the same nightmare he left me ten years ago...
Ten years...
You might think I am exaggerating, all my reactions right now when he left me ten years ago.
I think so too!
But then, even if I tried so much to ignore the fact that I felt betrayed when he goes ten years ago?
Even if I tried so much to put on my head that I am acting so childish as I am now.
Even if I tried to just forget everything and start a new.
Move on, and stop me from hurting, I still can't.
Because until now?
I still feel so bitter about it.
I still feel so bad that he doesn't even care about me at all.
Because when he left?
Everything change...
I had a horrible childhood when he left.
Kids who don't bully me at school used to bully me, because Didi is no longer around...
I became so attached to him, I could no longer see myself living without him...
He's my second Kuya...
He's so dear to me, that living without him gives out a big impact.
I know for a fact that I should feel thankful for him now because when he left I found my true self. I learned how to fight for myself...
I learned how to be tough...
I...
I became who I am now...
Stronger...
Braver...
So I don't understand myself for hating him still, even though I change for good...
Because of him, I learned not to trust anyone, except my family...
I became so aloof, which mades me think that all people in this world will just betray me...
I learned to have trust issues with people around me...
Because maybe if I let people enter my life, they will just end up...
Just like him...
And my dad...
I am always afraid of trusting people...
This is also the reason why I never had a friend after him.
Don't get me wrong, there are still kind peoples who want to get close with me and befriend me...
Of course...
I am just the daughter of the owner of the well known Asia's Super Mall. The sister of the owner of the famous Williams Corporation which is my Kuya Leo's very own company, and the sister of the famous supermodel Tyrone Williams.
Yes, my whole family are all known in business and Social Media, for their extraordinary talent and intelligence...
While me?
I am just a simple girl, who is not known to the world just like her famous parents, and brothers...
A simple girl who's looks never grows old.
A simple girl, that even at the age of 21, are still looking like a freaking 12 years old, because of my 4'9 height, a small frame, babyface, and a shrill voice...
I sighed, as I put down my hands and put one of my arms above my eyes...
I am so tired of all this shit...
I bit my lower lip, and start to close my eyes with a heavy sigh...
***FAST FORWARD***
I was awakened with a grumbling stomach, and a hit on the face...
"What the freaking hell do you think you're doing young lady!" said by a familiar voice of a man...
I open my eyes, only to see the wrinkled forehead of Ty and Kuya Leo standing at the edge of my bed.
Ty is holding one of my pillow, which seems to be the thing he used to hit my face...
"Hmm?" I moaned, I am so hungry.
"Don't you 'hmm-hmm' us young lady! Why didn't you eat your breakfast and lunch? I remember getting myself clear that you have to eat didn't I?" Kuya Leo said in his preaching mode while crossing his arms.
"This is the reason why I told you Kuya, I should have stayed here with baby Les! Look! She was so focused on her study she got tired and fell asleep! She's doing her hunger strike again!" Ty scolded Kuya Leo, putting up his point why he should have stayed with me awhile ago...
Kuya Leo on the other hand just shrugged his head looking so dismayed at how I didn't eat the food he made for me.
"I'm sorry Kuya... Ty..." I said puffing my cheeks while pouting.
Kuya and Ty then heave a sigh together, before looking at me with their soft eyes.
"It's ok, it already happened."
"Now, get up there and eat the foods we bought you." Kuya Leo said, before giving me a plastic bag of Jollibee...
I look at the inside of it and saw that there is a cheeseburger, fries, sundae, fried chicken, and a spaghetti inside of it for one person.
So this is what I am smelling while I am asleep awhile ago!
"OH, MY G! THANKS KUYA AND TY! I LOVE YOU!" I said excitedly before getting my face stuffed with my favorite foods from my favorite fast food.
"HAHA. I love you too baby princess!" Kuya and Ty said in chorus while looking at me with so much fondness.
I got the best brothers ever!
"Anyway, after you're done eating, go down and see Tita Agnes and Ace. They're downstairs." Kuya Leo added.
" Tita Agnes said she missed you so much. So better get yourself fix, she bought four bags of your favorite Hershey's kisses." Said, Ty with excitement in his voice...
I too feel excited when I heard Tita bought me my favorite Hershey's kisses, but all those excitement soon fade once I heard that Ace is also with them. So I just make up excuses that I am having abdominal pain.
I act as if I am hurt, and can not make it to go down to meet Tita and her son.
My two brother seems like they took my acting dramas when they look at me like I am the most pitiful kitty they could ever see.
"Really? You should have told us that earlier sweety! Do you still have your meds? Do you want me to buy you some? Do you have extra pads?" Kuya looks so worried about me, he even touches the side of my face...
"I'll go down, and make you a warm compressed. I'll also tell Tita about your situation." Ty hurriedly gets out of the room, while Kuya Leo stays.
"It's ok Kuya! I still have extra meds and pads with me, thank you!" I told him before I continue slouching on my bed while hugging my foods and start stuffing them into my mouth...
It didn't take long when Ty came inside my room with a hot compress. At his back, stood Tita Agnes and mom looking so worried.
"Oh, dear! Is it that painful? Do you want me to massage it for you?" Mom said looking so worried.
"Awww... My little princess is hurting! Here, I bought you your favorite chocolates! I hope this makes you feel a bit better!" Tita Agnes sat at the edge of my bed and kiss me on the cheeks.
Now I feel so guilty for lying...
Perks of being the all-time baby.
I sighed. They are treating me like a freaking baby again.
"Thank you, Tita! Thanks for this! Don't worry I'll be fine soon enough!" I smiled sweetly at Tita while looking side by side on her back where Kuya, Mom and Ty are standing...
Ty, on the other hand, starts putting the hot compress above my abdomen, while Kuya Leo, keeps on stuffing my mouth with food.
Sweet.
"Are you looking for Ace princess? He's not with me. Ace said he has to stay in the US to fix some documents, but he'll be here soon sweety." Tita Agnes smiled at me...
This made me feel more guilty...
I lied because I don't want to see Ace, but after knowing that Ace is not around, all the lies and acting skills I did to escape from him comes to my waist.
The next morning, I started to come to school as earlier as possible.
I wanted to sleep, on my desk before our teacher even starts to come and do her class rituals, and resume her lesson.
When I was nearing our University, I realized that there is a new guard at the gate. I smiled at him in a very cute way, while wearing my ID.
"Good Morning Kuya Guard!" I greet him with a sweet smile plastered on my face.
The guard smiled back at me.
"Good morning baby girl! What can I do for you? Are you lost sweetheart?" The guard said, which made my face sour.
"I'm not lost," I told him in a poker face.
"Oh? So you're going to see your teacher's mom? Who is your Mom? Maybe we can-"
I didn't let him continue whatever him finish whatever he was about to say, when I cut him off, by showing him my ID.
The new guard seems shocked after knowing that I am already a third-year college. TSS.
I even heard him talk to one of the students who were about to enter the gate too...
"That baby girl must be a genius! She's already a third-year college even though she is still a baby! That's quite amusing." The guard said to the student, who seems to not care at all, about what he was talking about.
I was walking peacefully to my designated classroom when suddenly a shrieking voice of the girls from the corridor filled my ears.
I cover my ears, because of their annoying voice, and look for the reason for their yells.
Only to see the guy, which I wish I never knew my entire life walking in a very cool way, with his one hand on his pants pocket, and his bag hanging on one of his shoulders...
The guy whom I hated for ten years...
Ace Daryl Smith...