⚠️Warning: This chapter contains mature (violence, homophobia) contents 🔞 and mild sexual triggers. ⚠️
Esha's Point of View:
After everyone left, Rokhsana ma'am also went to sleep in her own room. Now only Sara and I are in Sara's room. We both could feel that there was an awkward tension between us and the whole environment was uncomfortably silent. We both were sitting side by side in the same bed lingering our feet till the edge of the bed but no one was talking or trying to break the awkward silence. I was sitting hunched over looking at the ground. I couldn't meet Sara's eyes because when I look at her, my heart starts beating unimaginably fast and my pulse rate increases tremendously.
Breaking that uncomfortable silence, Sara suddenly said, "I'm sorry, Esha."
I didn't understand anything. I said, "Why are you saying sorry?"
"For not answering when you came to me at school and not telling you how I felt. I hope you understood, I was in a relationship with Aditto back at that time."
I remembered. I used to like Sara very much when I was in school. It wasn't like she was a very close friend of mine from the beginning of our school life. Sara and I weren't even in the same class but in the same grade. We both had different classes. But the day I saw her first, in the first assembly of grade nine, I fell in love with her at the first sight. A very charming beautiful girl was standing alone, at the back of the assembly. Nobody was giving her a place to stand in the queue. Then I went forward to her first. We became very good friends from the first day we talked. Sara moved into our school in grade nine from another school. Although she and I weren't in the same class, we used to talk in lunch periods. Thus slowly a year rolled by. After Sara came into my life I realized that I liked girls. I tried thousands of times to change myself but could never have control over my feelings. I felt guilty because I was attracted to Sara. A girl. Same sex and gender as mine. I used to think, was I the only different person? Why was I so different? This society would never accept me! But I hoped in my heart that if Sara liked me back too, I wouldn't care anything anymore of the rest of the world. I had a strong hope that Sara would love me too, our love was mutual for each other. Even if Sara had a boyfriend, I never saw her hanging out or going out on dates with him. As close and intimate as my relationship with Sara was, I could say for sure that even though she had a boyfriend, she was never an inch closer with her boyfriend comparing to ours. Because she spent most of the time with me.
When it was the last day of our class of grade ten, I confessed to Sara about my feelings. Sara just smiled at me with her puppy eyes but didn't answer me a single thing. And then she left. She was left for unknown whereabouts. She never returned to me until I saw her this time.
A few days later, the day when our final examination started and I went to school in the morning, everyone started directly criticizing me, mocking me, and calling me a lesbian. Even there was a big poster hanging on my locker written fag. I was then bullied and badly injured at the washroom by the stupid mob of homophobic classmates. They put the whole trash bin above my head and had me showered with all those dirty filths. Then they ganged and beat me up and left my badly injured bloody senseless cold body at the corner of the washroom and still there was not a single person whom I used to think "friends", showed up.
I was very young and afraid at that time, just a teenager of 15. I didn't have any idea of how to overcome the most traumatic event of my life. On the one hand, I was scared to death because there was no one by my side that I could talk to, on the other I felt so ashamed and so remorseful as if I wanted to die and say goodbye to the world. I really couldn't accept Sara's damned betrayal. At that time, I was completely broken and shattered up into pieces. There wasn't a single human being behind my back who would support me, stay beside me or give me the courage to stand up again and fight against this cruel world, this damn fu*king cruel society. Pointing out fingers to their eyes that they were completely wrong, unjust, and blind to the prejudice.
But there's a proverb that 'when you have nobody but you have you.'
It's true that I was weak and my heart was completely broken at that time but it doesn't mean I couldn't stand again and fight back for myself to survive. So I thought carefully and that day I decided to study the law and stand by the oppressed people like me. Because of that incident, I lost all my friends from school and when the matriculation exam was over, I was admitted to a college far away from my local to another area. I couldn't make any friends during the short time in my college life. But after getting admitted to the university, I found these four most wonderful friends of my life. And out of all of them, I see Neha as 'more than just a friend.'
I said, "You don't need to apologize now. What has happened in the past has happened. I don't like to dwell on the past."
Sara said, "But you're still thinking of one thing until now. That's definitely not true."
"What am I thinking?"
"You are thinking it was probably me who told everyone at school about your feelings for me. But trust me, it wasn't me."
"I don't like to talk about the past. But okay as you're saying about this now, I want to know who told everyone this."
"My ex-boyfriend Aditto. He eavesdropped our conversation. He was standing behind us. You didn't see him but I did. He was behind you, actually. So I couldn't give you an answer. Because I didn't want him to know about my true feelings. And the important thing is I just broke up with him."
"When did you break up with him?"
"Just a week ago."
"Why?"
"Because he cheated on me with my close friend Diana and I caught him during a scene."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, if Aditto hadn't been behind us all that time, what would you have answered?"
Sara remained silent for a while.
Then replied hesitantly, "Look, umm...I mean...I never really liked Aditto. But I had to continue my relationship with him. Because my aunt knew I liked g--girls...so she forced me to have a relationship with him."
"So you've been in a relationship against your will for so long and nobody cared if you really had consent or not?"
"You can say a lot like that. Well, let's get rid of this bullshit topic now. By the way, is Neha your girlfriend?"
Saying this, Sara looked at me straight in the eyes and I started to feel very embarrassed. I didn't understand what to answer. Yes, I liked Neha but Neha wasn't my girlfriend. Again, if I gave it a second thought about the current moment I was in, about the girl who was sitting just in front of me used to be my former love and that time she was looking no less than a beautiful nymph. The more I was looking at Sara, the more I felt I was losing myself in the deep abyss. I felt like I was losing all the controls over myself and that night I wasn't gonna give a fu*k about any obstacles or boundaries. So I decided I will let myself cross the limit or whatever it takes, just to make love with that girl.
"No, Neha is not my girlfriend. But she's mine..." I couldn't finish my sentence.
Suddenly I saw Sara came very close to me. Her face was probably a few centimeters away from mine. She then slowly but gently touched her forehead against mine. I could feel her every single breath becoming heavier syncing with mine then feeling it getting hot against my skin. My heart rate increased tremendously. I felt an electric shiver just went down my spine. Sara brought her face closer to mine. At some point, I couldn't hold it anymore so I leaned on more and smashed my lips against her. We both placed a gentle kiss on each other's lips then Sara pulled away.
I saw Sara's face turned red as hot flushes were going down from her cheeks to the whole face. She looked at me with deep satisfaction and gave me a cheeky smile. So I lost all the controls over myself and the long caged crazy beast was coming out of myself who was potentially craving for all of those, all those touches, all those feelings, and sensations. Fu*k, I might sound shameless but I wanted to feel those lips again on mine. Not just only that, I was ready to make a move further, wherever that steamy kiss would lead on, I was just ready to dive into that. I couldn't resist all those urges anymore and I again smashed my lips against her with a great pace. We started molding our lips together and kissing each other like there was no tomorrow. We kissed each other for so long that it felt like an eternity. Our lips and tongues were synchronizing, swirling, and entangling against each others'. Our kiss was so deep and it felt so good that I could remember the taste of her lips for the rest of my life.
When we were out of our breaths we pulled out. We both were panting heavily. But Sara didn't let go of me. She rested her head on the left side of my chest from where we can easily hear the sound of our heartbeats. After resting her head, Sara suddenly starter crying. She was sobbing and shivering hard. I started crying too in silence when I heard the sound of her crying. I slowly started to pat her head so that I could make her calm down. My hands could never forget about those touches of her silky smooth natural fragrant hair.
Sara pressed her head harder against my chest and said in a cracked raspy tone, "Esha, I have loved you for so long. Today at last, I have been abled to take the unrequited love of mine of the last seven years to myself. I never forgot you, Esha. I had to stay with the wrong person for so long just because of my aunt. Moreover, Aditto cheated on me. I never cheated on him even though I didn't like him in the first place, yet everything is so negative with me."
I lifted Sara's cheeks with both of my hands and wiped away her tears with my thumbs. I then calmed her down by placing a light kiss on her lips. The kiss had the taste of the saltwater of her tears coming down from her cheeks. I cooed with a whisper, "Don't worry. I'm here."
Then Sara nagged, "Do you still love me, Esha?"
After hearing Sara's last question, I felt my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't think about anything anymore and suddenly I felt everything empty inside my head. So I didn't bother to answer a shit and pulled her in again and passionately kissed her on the lips. The kiss was slow still steamy and hot. Our lips were already wildly wet because of our saliva sticking on each other's faces.
The pace slowly began and we started to kiss each other wildly with tongues slightly poking in.
At some point, I started kissing her down from her lips to the neck. I then nibbled at the flesh of her collarbones, then jawline followed by sucking and licking on the skin.
I passionately left marks of my love bites and hickies on her neck and collarbones.
Sara moved her both hands on my back and entangled them around my neck. I took one of her hands out and put it on one of my breasts and squeezed it harder under my hand. Then I let her thumb brushed my hard nipple from the surface of my clothes. Her face immediately turned red and she shivered a little bit with escaping a light moan. Hearing her moan, I groaned too, as it drove me to the edge where I was just kept losing myself again and again and I almost felt that I came.
I kissed her earlobe and bit it softly then whispered in a seductive tone, "Should I leave or should I continue?"
Sara almost screamed, "Hey, no, no, no. You can't leave me in the middle like that. Both you and I know it well that we both need to release our holy shits out."
Then I gave her an evil smirk and said in a raspy voice, "Are you a virgin or not? Did you already did it or it is the first time?"
"Umm...no. I'm not a virgin. I had to do it with Aditto several times just to cope up with him and manage myself. At first, I did it just out of curiosity that if I liked guys or not...but all of those attempts were in vain actually. But later I did it only because of the challenging situations where I couldn't manage myself anymore. But it obviously made the fact clear that boys don't attract me. By the way, are you a virgin, Esha?"
"It's going to be my first time. Even you are my first kiss too."
"But you are a serious pro at this. Are you a sex goddess or something?"
"Is that so?" I chuckled while pulling her close again and meeting our lips for another round of kisses.
I pushed her down on the bed and rode above her. We both stripped off our clothes and threw them away on the floor. That time, we first looked at each other's naked bodies and couldn't less admire each other's beautiful flawless features.
Thus we made love all night long.