Out of all the routine things we have to do in Avex, this feels the most apocalyptic and uncivilized. Which says a lot considering that we have to dump water in the toilet to get everything down.
Prior luxuries of running water I guess.
A breeze sends a shiver down my spine, but at the same time, I have to turn away to keep away the feeling of my eyes melting. The smokey smell of the fire invades my clothes and hair, which is such a pain to get out.
I fill a steel pot with water from the reservoir and set it on the grate that rests over an open campfire. The water quickly begins to ripple inwards.
"I don't know how you've done this so many times," I sit on a rock by the fire and wave my hand in front of my face, as if that could stop the smoke.
It was my own fault, I told myself this morning that I would get this done sometime in the middle of the day. But then I didn't, and then it became dark and I got thirsty.
So here we are now.
"Eh, something to get used to I guess. I'd rather boil the water than puke it back up later," Nayan says, bundled up and further from the fire.
He's not wrong, the water always tastes funky but unboiled it's actually bad. And he's right about not wanting to puke.
I'm not sure what brings it to my mind, but now that it's here I can't seem to shake it, "Mau...Maurice said that the EAA members are non-Avexians from Avex. What do you think it means?"
Just thinking about Maurice hurts, his date was absolutely horrible and makes no sense. Maurice said it himself though, they don't hate us for being Avexian--not technically.
I know it's selfish considering everything that happened afterward but I can't help but wish I asked him to finish answering the question.
But one day, when we finally do get out of here, we'll figure it out. All we can do now is make guesses.
He closes his eyes and leans closer to the flame, "Maybe they are decendants of Avexians born on the Earth dimension."
"I think that would be reversed."
He cocks his head to the side with a shrug, "Have any better ideas?"
Another shiver cuts through me and the water has barely begun to bubble. I don't have any ideas so I go for another option, "Sorry to ditch you, I gotta go grab a coat."
He smiles, "Oh how unprepared. And the question was somewhat sarcastic, no need to dodge it."
I get up and make my way to the sliding glass door, "I'm not dodging the question, I'm cold. I'll have an answer once I get back."
I don't think I'll have an answer once I get back.
Once I close up the door I slide my hands together to make some kind of heat, It's not actually warmer inside but I like to pretend it is. Placebo effect I guess. Neither Marcus nor Lola are in here, leaving the room awfully quiet.
I rip open the closet door, but quickly shut it when I see my winter coat isn't one of the coats there. Though there is an array of mine and Lola's other costs, ones that we've never even touched, and I'm offput to see one of Marcus'.
I climb the stairs three at a time, something I don't think I've done since middle school. And when I get to me and Lola's room atop the platform I don't bother knocking in the hurry I'm in and swing the door open.
Upon seeing what's inside I pause in the doorway, frozen.
Lola and Marcus are sitting on the ground all too close together, wrapped in each other's arms and locked at the lips.
Lola jerks away from Marcus and stares at me with eyes widened in panic.
I take a step back and shut the door, playing my motions in reverse.
Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. I did not see that. That did not just happen.
I turn around and start back down the stairs even quicker than before. Faster than a middle schooler trying to be cool. As fast as someone who just walked in on their sister making out with both of their roommate.
As fast as someone who will never walk into a room without knocking again.
I can already hear Lola clambering down the stairs behind me, "Cassie, stop!"
I don't stop, I speedwalk right back to the closet and put another fleece on over my hoodie. It won't be as warm as my winter coat but I can be alright with that.
I'd rather be cold than have a conversation about what I just saw.
Lola hurries over to me, "Cassie, slow down. Let me explain."
I jerk the zipper on the fleece that keeps getting caught on the fabric, "What's there to explain? You guys are together now, seems clear enough to me."
I sound mean, I don't want to because I'm fairly sure the last thing I feel is anger. I don't want to be here, that's all.
"You're right, there is nothing to explain, but you still shouldn't have had to figure it out that way."
Her hands are shoved into the pockets of her jeans and her cheeks are a fading pink.
Why the hell won't this damn fleece close? "It's alright Lola, I already knew you guys would be together at some point or another."
"That's not what I'm saying, I was going to tell you later. I just didn't yet."
Oh. So she thought I'd be pissy that she got a boyfriend and didn't tell me? I guess leaving a room like that could probably send a mixed message.
I continue jerking the zipper up and down over a few notches, it makes that weird scratchy noise that all zippers make.
"I'm not mad," I sound mad, but I'm just annoyed with this damn fleece.
She slowly pulls my hand away, drawing my attention back to her, "You seem really mad."
What the hell is going on with my sister? Why did she bring herself into a conversation like this? I'm supposed to be the confrontational one, and she's supposed to be the one skirting away from any semi-serious conversation.
So what am I doing?
Why am I the one rushing away?
I yank my hand away from hers and fully close the fleece, "I told you, I'm not mad.. Just... startled, that's all."
I speed walk back to the sliding glass door that gets me back to Nayan, back to the campfire.
Lola grabs my wrist from behind me, "Then why are you running?"
I turn back around, "I'm not running. I have water boiling outside, I have to switch it out-"
That was a lie, Nayan is probably watching us right now through the glass door and odds are, has already switched it out.
Her eyes widen, pleading me to fess up, but I have nothing to say, "You're not like this. What's wrong?"
Nothing is wrong. Absolutely nothing. But Lola is right, I'm acting like something is wrong.
I'm ok with them together. I know I am. My sister is a big girl, she knows what she's doing. But still, Lola's right when she says that something isn't. Shouldn't I be one of those obnoxious fangirl friends that's always like 'oh, I ship it!'?
"I-" My muscles relax and I fall into a slouch, my voice dropping to only a whisper, "I don't know."
She lets go of my hand which I'm realizing now is all sweaty, "Is it... Marcus?"
I look down at my feet.
It isn't Marcus. He's a good person. I know Marcus would never hurt my sister. My thoughts travel back to a snapshot of when I opened the door, Marcus and Lola together. They both looked really happy together, Marcus somehow more than Lola.
Not the look of someone who was faking--wait, who mentioned he was faking?
Not me. I didn't just think that. Nope.
Marcus looked like he really wanted to be there, more than Lola. What if he was somehow taking advantage of her? What are his motives?
No, Marcus is a good person.
What the hell, Cassie? 'What are his motives' What is wrong with you?
I pause to look out the glass door to Nayan, he glances between the two of us as if trying to figure out what's going on by reading lips.
"It isn't Marcus, I think I was just startled," I paint a smile over my face, "I'm really happy for you guys."
She watches me suspiciously, her eyes pausing at my hand, subconsciously clutching the hem of my fleece. My sister is smart, and all I can do is hope she doesn't think I'm lying. Because what I said is true.
She doesn't seem to believe me and opens her mouth to say something, but is cut off by an eavesdropping voice at the bottom of the stairs that I somehow didn't notice.
"Uh... Hey, Cassie," Marcus scratches the back of his neck. "I'm, uh, really sorry you had to walk in on that."
Lola turns to face her boyfriend, and when she sees him her face lights up.
Thinking of Marcus as Lola's boyfriend feels like when the year switches and you have to get used to saying a different number. Every time you say it wrong you get a shoot-that's-not-it reminder. But after a while, you end up getting used to it.
And just like I do every year, I'll get used to this too.
"It's alright, Marcus," I say.
He uneasily glances back at Lola, and an awkwardness fills the room.
Lola turns back to me like she wants to say something more, bring up her suspicion maybe, but she changes what she would've said otherwise, "Are you sure?"
I force out a laugh, "Yes. Seriously you guys, I'm really happy for you. Just chill it on the PDA, ok?"
The two of them smile and nod.
"Ya ever heard of knocking though?" Lola says sarcastically.
"Ya ever heard of making out in a room you don't share with your sister? You've got a whole dimension."
She rolls her eyes, and now that we're on good terms I make my way back outside. As soon as the sliding door clicks shut a breeze chills me to the core, even through a second layer.
I let out a breath and my smile falls as I approach the fire that illuminates the dark. The flame is low but still big enough to emit a blurry haze just above the tips; the pieces of wood cackle and spark underneath.
Nayan leans forward behind the smoke, "What happened in there?"
I genuinely laugh a small bit, "Lola and Marcus are dating now."
His eyes widen and he barely even notices the water boiling over, "Huh, already? Thought they would've waited... time."
I throw my hands in the air, "Thank you! I swear they didn't even notice how weird it was!"
I slip on the oven mitt lying on the ground and pull the boiling pot off the stove, setting it down on a mostly flat stone.
"What's it been, a week? Two maybe since he got here?"
I pull the mitt off, "My God, Thank you! Isn't it crazy how quick they got together!"
I'm starting to get why I was acting so weird in there, and I think it was an understandable reason too.
I know my sister. I know that she has gone on her fair share of dates. But this doesn't make her someone who is careless or boy crazy. I've never--not even once seen her go out with someone she didn't know for at very least a month or two beforehand.
She is part of a pretty big friend group at home and that's her dating pool. So it isn't like her to start dating someone so soon after meeting them. It could be attributed to it being such a long time, but I honestly think she'd wait even longer for this very reason.
"Probably the excitement of it," He fills up another pot with water from a five-gallon bucket and sets it over the flame.
I sit back down and let the heat radiate over me, the uneasiness from earlier returning, "Maybe."