Chapter 131:
Juncture of Parting
Cordelia's hands shook as she loaded the last of her meager belongings into her bag. The man who had been guarding her the last few days said nothing to her, but his eyes told her to hurry, the eyes peeking out of his narrowed eyes cold, annoyed.
Cordelia was not scared. In fact, she did not feel much of anything. But a tension ran up her spine, a throbbing, gradually growing sensation, like a festering wound that she could not ignore. A prickling of guilt tugged at her chest like a string, but she was so exhausted, emotionally and physically, that she had no time to acknowledge it.
She just wanted to leave this place.
After the incident with Prince Clarence, Cordelia had been locked in a room for the last few days, only having the guard, who she heard was referred to as Vaan by passersby, checking on her periodically and delivering her food on a large, metal tray. His gloved hands would reach into the door, placing the filled plates before he would retrieve them nearly an hour after they had been placed, ensuring she had completely finished her meal.
Finally, after days with little other human contact, the guard came in and told her to collect her things. She was no longer welcome here.
A tingle of relief rushed over Cordelia, feeling as though she had finally been freed from this prison. She began packing immediately, stuffing her meager belongings in her tattered leather bag with no order or control, stuffing the items in with little delicacy. Cordelia felt like a freed animal. Yet, as she emptied the last contents of the large, ornate drawer, her eyes locked onto a thin, worn scarf. Her hands began to tremble at the sight of it as her hand hovered in the air just above it, her fingers refusing to lower to even touch the fabric.
It was a scarf Kivah had given her when they first arrived here. Of course it was. He told her to take it, since she shivered constantly within the cold of the unfamiliar palace. She had put it away immediately, embarrassed, and promised herself she would never use it again, yet as she stared at it, her firm decision began to waver.
Should she take it? Should she leave it?
No, I should give it back to Kivah directly. And thank him. Though their last conversation was less than pleasant, Cordelia felt responsible to thank Kivah for all he had done, and to say goodbye. If he refused to speak to her, then she would leave it. But still, she wanted to try.
She grabbed the scarf, holding it tightly in her hands as she turned to Vaan, who stood next to the open door, his eyes moving over her stiff frame as the last of her items were squirreled away with little order, "I'm done, but I have one stop to make before I go."
Staring at the state of her things and her repeated hesitating movements, Vaan looked less than amused, but he nodded, willing to oblige her request to a point, if it kept her calm and got her out of the countess's residence without a fight.
"Follow me." Vaan said lowly, gesturing for Cordelia to walk in front of him as he prepared to close the door to the room, the room that had housed Cordelia like a prison, finally allowing her her first step towards freedom.
…
The fateful day was finally upon him. Kivah organized the last of his belongings on his bunk with a thoughtful expression, his face full of hidden worries. He had just heard word, the troops would begin leaving immediately. Kivah would be the first to go, doing reconnaissance to ensure the safety of the rest of the teams. He figured he had enough time to stop in and see his family one last time before he went and traveled to the capital with the other troops.
Staring at a straightened bundle of clothes, he trepidly touched the folded up dress sitting next to him with his fingertips.
If he changed now and slipped out, he could be back before anyone noticed he was gone. Though his mission was not particularly dangerous, he still wanted to be safe. He would not be able to live with himself if something happened before he saw his family, especially his siblings, and said his final regards.
Then he was quitting this type of work.
It had been a difficult decision for him. He enjoyed working for Countess Camille, and he liked everyone he worked with. Yet he knew each time he went on a mission, there was a chance he would not come back, and his cold, dead corpse could possibly be delivered to his family's doorstep. He did not want to take that chance anymore, as he had saved up enough at this point, and he could find somewhere quiet to settle down, somewhere not too far from his family, but far enough he did not have to worry about them surprising him with a visit.
One day, Kivah would tell them the truth, his true identity.
But not today, and not until he quit this line of work.
Maybe he was a coward, but his cowardness had saved his life before.
Kivah shook his head with a heavy grimace before standing up, his joints creaking as he straightened his limbs. As he slowly gathered his meager belongings. A knock at his door sent his eyes towards it, freezing him in place.
"Yes?" Kivah called out with a short pause, shoving the dress in his bag with practiced movements.
"Can I come in?" A small voice called, squeaky with lack of frequent use. Kivah's eyes widened in surprise as he heard the familiar voice. He glanced down at the tucked away item, contemplating, then slowly nodded his head,
"Come in."
Cordelia slowly opened the door as she stepped into Kivah's room, her eyes locked on her feet as she pushed it open with timidity.
"I'm leaving." Cordelia said quietly, refusing to look up towards the man she had unconsciously grown attached to in the past days.
"I heard." Kivah replied directly, both drowning in the awkward atmosphere of the coming goodbye.
"But first, I wanted to return this." With another step forward, Cordelia's voice rose with emotion as she held out the neatly folded scarf in her hands. Kivah looked at it, then sadly smiled, the distance between them still too far to close with another step..
"Keep it. You'll need it if you're going home. It only gets colder north of here." Kivah shook his head. He reached down and collected his bag, slinging it on his back with swift movements as he stood tall, now standing only a small bit taller than Cordelia herself.
The finality of the situation and Kivah's words caused the emotions that Cordelia pushed down to come up, bubbling at her throat as she croaked out with a somber note, "I'm sorry." Cordelia covered her mouth with her hand as a small sob escaped her throat.
"I'm sorry too." Kivah replied, his face dropping. With a sigh, he gently closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Cordelia in a warm embrace, gently patting her back soothingly. "Please don't cry. You're going to be seeing your family soon. And you don't want everyone to remember you crying like this."
Carefully, Cordelia's hands slid around Kivah's back, one hand tightly holding the scarf while the other tightly gripped the back of Kivah's coarse shirt, wishing they could stay like that forever.
Though Kivah did not want to admit it out loud, he had grown to like Cordelia. Even though she was spoiled, rude, and bossy, she had also survived against remarkable odds in the unfamiliar foreign kingdom. Not many people could do it, but she did. And she had slowly shown a softer, kinder side to Kivah, one that reminded him she was just a young woman trying to survive and she had no one to turn to.
Kivah stood there patiently, letting Cordelia cry into his shirt. Her hiccuped breaths made him chuckle lightly, and he stroked the back of her head, patting her long hair with long, gentle strokes in a repetitive motion.
Time passed, and Cordelia's sobs slowly quieted and her grip loosened on Kivah's shirt. As she sniffled, taking deep breaths in an attempt to control her tears, she asked,
"Do you think we'll meet again?" She sniffled, "Because I don't usually look and act like this. You need to see me when I'm in a proper setting." Cordelia's eyes widened, tears balancing at the corner of her eyes, as she realized what she was saying, "Not that these accommodations were bad. But my pride has been hurt with… everyone seeing me this way. Usually, I'm a very elegant lady."
Hearing her words, Kivah smiled, weak to Cordelia's teary, puffy eyes and red nose, "I don't doubt that, but I think you had some charm as a forest dweller too." Referring to the first time they met. Cordelia gasped in horror, covering her sniffling face with her hands in horror.
Kivah laughed, gently grabbing Cordelia's hands and pulling them away from her face, "Are you smiling now? Good. I want to send you off with a smile."
Cordelia's smile slightly grew, "This isn't goodbye, right? It's just for now."
"Just for now." Kivah affirmed, nodding with a smile.
"I'll come visit once everything is settled. To apologize to everyone fully. I expect you to be there too when I do." Cordelia said with a serious expression, a nervous twitch in her eyebrows.
"I will be. I expect a nice gift when you return though." Kivah said with a small smile. He was glad their relationship had been repaired, returning to how it was before the arrival of the other guests at the mansion. Though they had not known each other long, Kivah still wanted to make sure Cordelia would be alright. He had spent enough time all alone on the road that he knew it was not anywhere anyone would chose to be. And though she was annoyingly impulsive, Cordelia was not a bad person.
Vaan, who Kivah had not even realized was there, stepped forward, indicating to the two it was time to go wordlessly, hurrying their heartfelt reunion along with a hastened goodbye.
"Goodbye, Kivah. And thank you. For everything." Cordelia said hurriedly, glancing back at Vaan's cold expression.
"Goodbye, Cordelia." Kivah said, still adjusting himself to her real name, "Stay safe."
Cordelia nodded, her hand still clutching the scarf tightly. Vaan opened his palm, directing Cordelia where to go. Cordelia glanced back once more at Kivah, waving weakly with her free hand. Kivah waved back, the corners of his lips slightly upturned. As Cordelia's small frame left his view, he dropped his hand, his eyes glancing back to his bag.
Kivah sighed deeply, a troubled mood overshadowing him as he placed his bag back down, pulling out the dress with a sharp tug, allowing the garment to hang down fully, covering the front of his tall, thin frame with the ever so familiar, restricting fabric. His past self.
He still had time to visit his family, but he could not shake the terrible feeling hanging heavy on his shoulders. Kivah sighed, pulling the dress over his head with slow movements, as if weighed down by chains.
…
Deep within the night, nimble footsteps tapped against the cool stone bridge. A hunched, cautious figure moved with precision and grace, knowing exactly where to go and how to do so, moving with practiced movements. Approaching a corner, the figure slowed, pressing their back against the icy stone as they glanced around the corner.
Silence.
They shifted around the corner, continuing their hurried pace in absolute quiet. Only a bit further until they reached where they needed to go. The hum of nocturnal bugs comforted the cloaked figure, but their body was naturally on high alert. They were in enemy territory again. If they were not careful, it would be an immediate death sentence, all their plans pointless.
A wrong step sent a shock of pain up their leg, stopping the figure momentarily as they silently gasped in pain, hugging their injured leg with their left hand.
Still not recovered fully… They thought to themselves, tucking themselves tightly against the stone wall as they checked their leg. It pulsed in pain, pushed too far, but there was no turning back now. They had come too far to run now. They could not allow a simple injury to keep him from what was important to him.
The cloaked figure stuck their head out around the shadowed wall again, taking in their surroundings before they continued forward, favoring their leg with a slight limp as they lifted the useless leg with determination, continuing their effort to move in absolute silence.
Just a little further. They reassured themself, slowing as they approached a row of large, ornate windows. They pressed their left hand against the glass, trying to look inside, but a set of heavy velvet curtains blocked their view like a veil, keeping him from viewing the inside of the darkened room.
No choice. The cloaked figure thought as they grabbed the bottom of the window with the tips of their gloved fingers. They used the weak grip to pull the window slightly ajar from the center. Hearing a small creak, they immediately stopped, listening intently as they pressed their left ear against the cool glass, the sound of their small breaths filling the dead night.
They were met only by silence once again.
With a note of impatience, they pulled the window up slightly more, just enough to maneuver their head and shoulders under the window, then pulled the curtain over just enough to peek inside, using the back of their hand to push aside the heavy drapery with an annoyed frown.
Inside the dim room was shadowed in darkness, lit only with a few torches flickering on the wall providing enough light to dimly light the barren hallway. They used their shoulder to gently push the window open more, allowing their legs to slide into the empty space first, slipping in like a trained thief as they maneuvered the rest of their body inside, moving fluidly, like a stream of water.
From their reconnaissance, which had taken painfully long between their healing injuries and the fact the castle had been completely reorganized since the takeover, they knew the room was in this hallway.
No guards though? The figure thought to themself, cracking the first door open on the right with slow, steady movements, glancing inside, using the shadows to cover their frame from view.
It was an empty bedroom. The sheets were staunchly pulled across the untouched bed. The furniture was polished, but the room felt like a dead man's room. Untouched. Uncomfortable.
They shut the door, placing their hand against the cool wood frame to silence any creaks.
Next, the figure then tried the next door, nearly identical to the one before it. Another bedroom, another empty space. Not surprising, seeing as it was the castle wing for overnight guests. Again, it was perfectly put together, but strangely empty, still as the dead.
Annoyed, they tried the next door. This one, to their surprise, was locked, the door knob stubbornly refusing to move as they jingled it with a soft twist of the wrist.
This must be it. They thought to themself. The cloaked figure placed their ear to the door, but heard nothing from inside the room. They contemplated whispering through the door, trying to catch the attention of the person that must be inside, but they decided against it, in case they were not alone inside. There was no guarantee of anything at this point.
Maybe I can get in through the window in the room? But can my leg handle scaling the castle walls? The figure thought pensively, staring down at their lame leg. They knew a fall from this height would result in their death. They knew it was still very much a possibility, and they had gotten lucky so far. This time, however, they did not feel lucky, and they were unwilling to make such a risky move.
No, they were too close. Their precious person was only a short distance away. Nothing could go wrong now. It could not go wrong.
Attempting to change their already-developed plan, the door behind them slowly creaked open with a whiny, slowly groan like a pained animal. Standing only a short distance away, the figure turned around hastily, their hidden blade slipping out of its holder at their thigh as it slid into their hand, weighing down their palm with a heavy feeling of finality.
The figure was not disappointed as a tired voice spoke aloud with confusion. "What?" Alywin gasped, clutching the door he had just opened with all his might, his body mostly hidden behind the shadow of the door, "It can't be- I must be going mad."
The figure straightened their body as they smiled weakly, suddenly unsure of themself, wondering if the person that man had been thinking of was truly him.
Only one thing was certain, and only one person ever made them feel that way.
"Theo?" Alywin whispered, uncertain, his grip tightening on the wooden door as he spoke, his voice so faint, it was almost inaudible under the sound of the spring insects outside, chirping and calling into the lonely knight, singing their siren-like song for those still awake to listen.
"I'm sorry I took so long to return." Theo whispered, his feet planted on the ground while his heart ached at the sight of Alywin. He felt frozen in place as he finally asked, "Are you alone?"
Alywin did not reply, instead pushing the door out of his way as he frantically raced into Theo's embrace with wide open arms. Alywin's thin arms wrapped themselves tightly around Theo's back, the force nearly taking the breath out of Theo as he steadied his hold on the other man, holding his back with a warm palm, his heart nearly racing out of his chest.
"You idiot!" Alywin mumbled into Theo's coarse cloak as he tightened his grip, holding onto Theo like he would disappear in an instant, "I thought you were dead. I thought you left me!" His voice was muffled as he buried his head into Theo's chest, the cloak muffling his teary voice.
Listening to Alywin's voice, Theo tucked his chin, nestling his lips against Alywin's head, his curly blonde hair tickling the tip of Theo's nose. Theo shut his eyes, taking in Alywin's familiar scent that he missed so horribly. The world froze for a moment as the two savored the familiar embrace, unwilling to separate from the other's side before Theo spoke again.
"I'm sorry." Theo mumbled in response, one hand pulling Alywin in closer as his other gently held the back of Alywin's head, ruffling his sweet blonde curls with a smile, "I missed you so badly."
"Then why didn't you come back for me?" Alywin croaked out, his voice full of emotion as he held Theo close, nuzzling his face against Theo, taking in his scent as he clutched the coarse fabric under his tightened hands, feeling as if he were holding onto a piece of driftwood, keeping his from floating away at sea. Alywin shut his eyes, trying to fight away the emotions bubbling up as he enjoyed this moment, tears staining his flushed, tomato-red face. .
Theo wanted to answer, to tell Alywin all about what had happened, but there was no time as he hastily asked, "Are you alone? Is it safe?" Theo released Alywin, pulling away to look at Alywin's face, but Alywin refused to budge, still clutching his cloak.
"We have time, so don't move. Please." Alywin whispered, closing his eyes as the coarse fabric of Theo's cloak scratched at his face, making his wet cheeks feel itchy, making even his broken heart itchy with a familiar, loving warmth.
Standing with Theo like this, Alywin still was unsure if he was dreaming or not, but if he was, he never wanted to wake up again. He could not handle it if he woke up, to have this moment be ripped out of his hands, only to be thrust back into Malcolm's greedy, snake-like arms.
"Okay." Theo said, chuckling lightly as he wrapped his arms back around Alywin, pressing him gently against his broad chest. He knew they did not have a minute, but just for that stolen, dangerous minute, Theo wanted to pretend everything was back to how it used to be, before everything had happened.
They stood there in silence, clinging to each other, reveling in the relief and joy of seeing each other again.
…
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Weakly edited due to brain fart.
This chapter would have never been finished without Hunny writing it this week. Huge thank you to her and all her hard work and for getting back at our side couples!! ( ; ω ; ) Honestly, I had an absolute work week from hell spending about half of it in tears, but after talking to family and friends, my raging emotions were soothed o(〒﹏〒)o That, and reading Theo and Alywin's reunion.....
My store is nearing opening soon, but as promised, I finally shared some photos (on my twitter).... :D New toilet was installed today! No more mold. I nearly cried again today, but at least that was happy tears. New floors coming soon too!
Greatly appreciate all of the sweet messages and communication from you all too. I apologize for being so inactive across my socials. I was engulfed in work all week and questioning my entire career （最低わよ,この仕事 ( ﾉД`)）.... I need a long vacation..... (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ Wishing you all a better week. Hopefully things will improve next week ;u; See you all then |･д･)ﾉ