Chapter 52:
Fretful Thoughts
"Silas? ...Silas. Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Silas had his chin resting in his palm, his thoughts drifting between many things as he found himself zoning out from what was around him. Adora was sitting across from him at one of the short tables in the canteen. Few other soldiers were around them, many of them having already finished their lunches as they prepared to return to training. Silas and Adora were the only two that had left training late, finishing their training schedules from Meredith before they returned to eat.
A piping hot bowl of brothy vegetable soup and bread rested in front of Silas, but it remained untouched, leaving steam whisps to dance up in the air around his face as he looked forward, drifting off in his endless, fretful thoughts. It was not until he picked up his spoon, full of hot soup, and took a bite before he returned to the present, having already burned his tongue.
"By the Gods!" Silas yelled, waving his hand to cool his tongue. The metal spoon in his hand fell and clattered to the top of the table, leaving some hot soup to splash out around the table in drops.
Adora shook her head, passing Silas a glass of cool water as she spoke up and said, "I've been calling to you for the past five minutes. Something's bothering you, Silas." Adora had her father's piercing gaze, and Silas could feel her looking through his mind as he drank the water in the glass, feeling the pain of the burn throbbing a little. "You were unfocused during training too." Her brows knitted in annoyance at the thought. "You know how dangerous that is."
Hearing Adora's tone, Silas felt as if he had been a child caught sneaking snacks by a parent. Sighing, he retracted his throbbing tongue and said, placing the water back on the table, "Sorry Adora, I just…" He trailed, trying to think of the words, "I haven't been feeling like myself recently."
Listening to Silas, Adora lifted her piece of bread and took a small bite. "What's bothering you, then? I may not give the best advice but I have two perfectly good ears to listen with." She chewed, thinking for a moment before she added seriously, "Is it about your family?"
After the fight with Eva and the conversation with Meredith, Silas had almost lost all hope of finding his family. Adora had pulled some strings of her own to try to find information for him, even helping him contact some information brokers, but none of them were able to trace their whereabouts. With loss after loss, Silas had lost hope that they were alive and had finally begun to mourn them in his heart, but hearing about his family was still difficult.
Silas fell silent for a moment before he spoke, lifting his spoon off the table to dig into his cooling soup. "Lately I feel as if my life has stagnated." He blew on his soup before he put the spoon in his mouth. "Our leads have trailed off, and all we've been doing is training. Training for a rebellion that may never happen. Then training for a war that may never happen."
"Silas, don't give up just yet." Adora said, her eyes glancing to the side, "Just because we haven't found them yet, doesn't mean that we ne-"
Setting his spoon down, Silas rubbed his temple as his elbow rested on the table, looking exhausted as he said, "It's not just that, Adora. It's-" Silas trailed off, shaking his head lightly as he looked down, "Lately, Emmeline's been on my mind. It feels like I've already lost everyone, and I'm just waiting to hear they're gone. I feel like this is a sign from Emmeline. That I will never see them again." His words drifted into the air, leaving a short burst of silence to fill the space between he and Adora as Silas closed his eyes, thinking of the faint memories of Emmeline he could remember, like the sound of her laugh, her curly brown hair, and the way her green eyes twinkled when she smiled. Thinking of her again like this, he was ashamed at what little he could remember of her.
Adora looked at Silas, a hint of sadness hung on her face as she responded, "You know, I still think about Emmeline too, Silas." She looked through Silas's opened eyes, her expression deep as she added, "She was like a big sister to me. You don't know what it's like to be an only child, but it can be really lonely. Especially when you're supposed to be everyone's boss. Everyone's too scared to talk to you. But Emmeline never treated me any differently. She always treated me like a sister. It's still weird, because some mornings I wake up and want to go see her, and it takes me a minute to remember she's not here." Adora glanced down at her soup, "I've never lost any close family, and I won't pretend that I have, but I hope that me and my family can at least be your surrogate family until you are reunited with your real family, because you will."
Silas's arms slowly rested on the table, then he reached out his hand and grabbed Adora's, "You are family to me. You and your family will always be family to me. When Emmeline and I first came to Moireach, with only the clothing on our backs, it was you and your family that took us in. I will never be able to pay your family back for your kindness, but I will never forget it."
"Jeez, where did this sentimental you come from?" Adora said, swiping at her eye with her free hand. Silas smiled and released Adora's hand, which she used to push her hair behind her ear, something she did when she was nervous or upset.
"I'm not sure." Silas said with a sad smile, "I guess it just happens when I think about what has happened." Silas paused for a moment, thinking, before he added, "You're right. I can't give up. I have to go see Eva again. I'll make her see how useful I am. I'm so close to finding my family. I can't give up now."
"Silas, wait." Adora said immediately, her face hardening as she spoke, "Do you really think this is a good idea? There's a lot about Eva you don't know. And besides that, she almost got you killed!" Her voice was not loud, but Silas could feel the pressure of her words.
"No, I almost got myself killed." Silas said with a stern shake of his head, "I knew better, but I made rookie mistakes. I won't this time. Not again."
"Silas, please think this through." Adora said, leaning into the table, staring intensely at Silas, "It didn't work last time, why would it work this time? Besides, how do you know she'll take you back? Or even where she is?"
Silas did not have to think before he quickly responded, "Meredith can help me." Silas answered shortly, "He knows a lot more about Eva than I do. He will help me."
Adora sighed and leaned her head to the side, her short, straight black hair falling off her shoulder as she leaned, "Silas, is your mind so made up that I can't convince you at all?"
"Yes. I can't let it go this time." Silas said, his voice ringing with a burning determination that he had not felt in a long time.
"Not even if there's something important I need to tell you? About Eva?" Adora asked, her eyes flicking away as she pushed more hair back behind her ear.
Silas paused and looked at Adora, his face contorted in confusion. How would… What would Adora have to say about Eva? They don't even know each other... Right?
"What," Silas paused, biting the skin on his inner cheek as he tried to think of what to say, but his mind was blank, and his determination was beginning to falter, "What are you talking about?" His tone raised on the end, making him sound increasingly concerned with Adora's words.
Adora flashed her eyes back to Silas's, but she quickly looked away again, "There's something I didn't tell you. And I wasn't planning on telling you, but now that you're talking about leaving again, I want you to know." She looked down, sighing softly to herself with a heavy expression.
"About what?" Silas snapped, growing frustrated by Adora's hesitancy to reveal what she knew.
Adora closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "By the gods, where do I begin?"
…
"Prince Clarence!" A voice shouted out between gulping in desperate breaths of air, "Please wait!" The voice echoed down the halls, sounding slightly shrill as it echoed.
Clarence finally slowed his brisk walk, rolling his eyes before he turned on his heel to face the young marquis chasing after him down the long hallway. His youthful appearance was polished to the furthest extent, except for his red, sweaty face that dripped sweat down from his forehead to his chin, where it fell with a plop on the hallway runner. Clarence watched this display with a smile on his face, but his lip slightly twitched in the corner when he heard the plop.
"Marquis Belland." Clarence said, placing his hands behind his back like he had seen his father do so many times before, "What do I have to thank for this meeting?"
The young marquis, a short, underweight man, desperately tried to control his shaky breathing as he dabbed at his moist forehead with his handkerchief. As if suddenly realizing, he put his handkerchief to his side and bowed deeply to the prince. His still movements made him look frail, as if a burst of wind could blow over his knobby frame.
"It is an honor to be in your presence, Your Majesty." The marquis mumbled out nervously. The marquis's dark black hair was wet with sweat, and his styled hair had become slightly disheveled from his previous exercise, leaving stray pieces of hair to fly around his hairline.
"Please rise." Clarence said with a short nod, his tone flat. The marquis snapped himself upright, causing himself to flinch in pain, "Now, please tell me what I have to thank for this visit?"
"Uh-Your Majesty, I-I wanted to," the marquis paused, attempting to think of the correct wording, "To thank you for the land you bestowed upon my family. We are eternally grateful. And as the only man of the family now, I thought it was only right to thank you in person and offer my expertise for you to use in any way you wish."
"I see." Clarence said with a polite smile, "Well, I am currently on my way to an important meeting, but if you speak to one of my stewards," one of the many men following behind Clarence stepped forward with a tight expression, "I am sure they can help you find a position worthy of your expertise." Clarence did not wait for a reply as he turned on his heel, decorated with a shiny black boot, and walked away, letting irritation drip all over his expression as he continued to walk, the crowd behind him falling into formation as his shoes clicked down the hallway.
"How did that man get this far into the castle?" Clarence asked nonchalantly as he continued his brisk walk forward, out of earshot of the nervous Marquis. A steward nearby stood by only steps behind the prince, his face sweating just as the Marquis's had previously. Though his face was paler, but the nervousness he felt was not expressed openly on his face as he faced Clarence.
"Your Majesty, I believe his great-grandfather was one of the men that fought in the original Border Wars. Though he does not have the reputation and rank his great-grandfather once had, his family is still respected. I'm sure with his name alone, it was not difficult to get past the guards." The closest of the stewards next to Clarence quickly answered, swallowing the anxiety in his voice with his words.
"I see." Clarence said indifferently, humming to himself as he responded coolly, "So that's why father insisted I bestow some land to his family."
"I will have someone speak to the guards at the gate, Your Majesty." Another steward said with a slight bow, keeping his pace as Clarence continued forward..
"No, no." Clarence said, holding his hand up dismissively, "I want my people to have access to me if they need me. I work for my people, as they work for me."
"Very wise words, Your Majesty." An advisor said, nodding his ancient head reassuringly.
After the short discussion with his stewards, Clarence remained silent the rest of the walk, thinking. He tried to think deeply about his situation, but having so many people around him made it difficult for Clarence to think. And he could not just dismiss them. At least, not while the marriage candidates were here. If he wanted people to truly consider him the successor to the throne, he would have to act like the king for now.
I have to secure my allies too. Clarence thought to himself. I may be promised the throne, but I can not let myself get sloppy now. I have to get more loyal followers.
"Now entering, His Majesty, the Crown Prince Clarence Godfreed." Clarence snapped back to attention as the door guard cried out. He lowered the fingers that had unconsciously begun to play with his gold cufflinks and straightened his posture, returning the refined air around him. The doors slowly swung open as Clarence positioned himself in front of the door, and as the doors moved out of his way, he stepped through and looked around, a pleasing smile plastered to his face.
"Good morning." Clarence said as he walked forward down the runner in the large room. He smiled and glanced at either side of the runner as he walked, where his marriage candidates were sitting. Many smiled back, some looked away, and at the end, closest to the front, where the queen sat, sat Charlotte, at a different table. She smiled lightly at Clarence as she held up her fan, making the discreet motion of a wave with her fan as she smiled. Clarence smiled back brilliantly as he continued forward. In front of him was his mother, sitting at a table in the front of the massive room.
The queen rose from her seat as Clarence walked around the table. He stopped in front of her, and she kissed him lightly on the cheek in greeting. Clarence smiled at her as she lowered herself back down in her seat. After the queen was comfortably seated, Clarence addressed the group of waiting women.
"Good morning, everyone." Clarence weakly cleared his throat, becoming nervous as he took a small step forward in the now quiet room, "I hope that your first night with us was enjoyable. I would like to show you all the rest of our beautiful kingdom, but first, we must eat breakfast." As if on cue, waiters and waitresses poured into the large dining room, all of them carrying plates on trays with expensive Yursearean breakfast food, including small fruit tarts, breaded pastries, and other fresh bakery goods. Many of the women from smaller kingdoms marveled at the manpower that flurried around the room, becoming a sea of bodies, but certain faces stood out in the crowd. One such face was the frowning Olicia Hallan. One of the three maids attending her tried to get her to smile or laugh, but it was to no avail. Instead, she was deep in her thoughts, and no type of coaxing could bring her out of it for now.
Another was a smiling Charlotte, who was sitting with a smiling, youthful Philomena, whose peals of laughter rang out in the open room. Charlotte continued to smile and laugh with Philomena, appearing as the two were old friends that had not spoken in a long time. As Clarence glanced over to the two giggling women, Clarence was surprised to see Charlotte's knight was not behind her. In fact, his imposing, intimidating figure was nowhere to be seen.
How odd. Clarence thought to himself, as a waiter gently placed his plate in front of him. That knight could hardly be plucked from her side when Princess Charlotte visited before. I wonder where he has run off to. As the last of the waiting people were served, Clarence noticed the seat next to him was also empty, though a steaming plate of fresh food sat on the place mat. And where is Alywin? Where is everyone this morning?
"I believe everyone is served. It's appropriate to begin eating now, Clarence." The queen mumbled, her hands resting in her lap, "Especially since no one can start until you do."
"Of course." Clarence said, trying to control his cheeks from reddening. He quickly picked up his fork, and put it to his food, before he put it in his mouth. The queen smiled and put her utensils to her food. Many people began to speak and laugh, as they began to cut their food.
It was only a short moment after Clarence had taken his first bite of food that he began to cough. When Clarence first began to cough, everyone politely ignored it, thinking he had simply a small cough. As his coughs grew more aggressive and frantic though, it caught everyone's attention. His face reddened as his pallor grew pale. Beads of sweat formed on his knitted brows.
"Clarence?" The queen asked, leaning towards him, "Are you alright?" Within moments, Clarence began to cough harder. The queen turned towards one of the attendants waiting nearby, "Go get the royal physician. Hurry!" As the attendant raced out of the room, anyone who had taken a bite of the food quickly spit it out into any nearby napkin or handkerchief, and a panic began to spread through the room.
"Clear this room out." The queen hissed authoritatively, her eyes red with anger, "But not a single person leaves the castle. Do you understand me?" The attendant nodded frantically, "If as so much as a single hair of a person escapes these castle grounds, I will personally find you and have not only you killed, but every single person in your family executed too. Do I make myself clear?" The attendant nodded again before running out of the room. Everyone else was quickly becoming uneasy as Clarence continued to cough, holding his chest tightly. Attendants began quickly clearing the room out as the queen rubbed at Clarence's back.
"You'll be alright, my child." The queen cooed as she rubbed Clarence's back while he continued to cough, "The royal physician will be here soon, it'll be fine."
As the marriage candidates poured out of the room, all whispering to each other, Charlotte lagged behind, staring at Clarence's hunched figure with a panicked expression.
"Princess Charlotte, please we need to clear the room." One of her attendants said, trying to guide her to the door, but Charlotte resisted.
"Not yet. Where is the royal physician? Has he been called for?" Charlotte asked, returning her eyes to Clarence.
"My lady, I'm sure the royal physician is on his way. But the only thing we can do to help is clear the room for the physician, so please come along." The attendant said as she put her hand on Charlotte's back and began to guide her out of the room. Charlotte began to resist again, but thought about her attendant's words, and let herself be reluctantly guided out of the room.
As Charlotte began making her way down the hall, a familiar face passed by her. She found herself momentarily speechless before she muttered out a sharp, "You!" Charlotte stammered, reaching out and grabbing the hand of the startled fellow, "I know you! I met you at the temple!" As the shaken hand tried to pull away, Charlotte held tight, "No, don't go! I need your help! It's urgent!" Charlotte said as she began dragging the man the way she came, "I never thought we would meet again, but your timing must be fate. Someone is choking. He might have been poisoned. No one knows what to do. You do though, don't you?" Charlotte asked as she turned towards the startled marquis, her footsteps continuing to fall in a quick pace.
The marquis began to sweat as he tried to stammer out an answer, but Charlotte did not wait. Instead, she pulled the nervous and confused Marquis Belland forward with a heavy pull too hard for the weak marquis to break away from.
"Open the doors! I have a doctor!" Charlotte shouted as she approached the doors to the dining hall. The guards looked at each other, unsure of what to do, until Charlotte shouted, "I am the princess of the Bethell kingdom! You will open these doors!" With a jump, the guards opened the doors wide and Charlotte ran in, her unwilling follower stumbling behind her as she dragged him in, leaving her decorum behind as she prepared to save the prince's life.
"I have a doctor!" Charlotte shouted, panting slightly. The queen turned towards the marquis, but scowled when she saw it was not the royal physician,
"Who is this?!" The queen protested, her face contorting angrily, "Where is the royal physician?!"
"He is on his way now, Your Majesty." One of the attendants who entered behind Charlotte and the marquis said, trying to shy away from the queen's blistering glare. She only removed her gaze when Clarence began to gasp, holding his throat. His eyes were red and his breathing was beginning to become labored as he wheezed aloud, his eyes wet with tears.
"Who are you? What training do you have?" The queen stumbled out, her hands hovering above Clarence.
"My name is Marquis Earnest Belland. Uh- I have trained with the monks. In the north. Vartien kingdom." Marquis Belland said as he bowed, "Your Majesty."
"Can," the queen paused for a moment, "Can you save my son?"
The marquis looked at Clarence quickly before he said, "I can try, Your Majesty."
"Hurry then." The queen said, waving her hand at the marquis as she stood up. The marquis nodded before sprinting over to Clarence. It seemed as if time had begun to slow though, as Charlotte and the queen, as well as the few attendants and guards still left in the room, watched as Clarence went limp in his seat.
...
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First of all, apologies for the delays (╥﹏╥) I've been working Sunday-now with no break for staff training. We do a lot of stuff on-site, so I've been living there essentially this whole week oof.... Yesterday and today we did our high ropes certification so I was unable to get to my computer to upload! Sorry ;; Good news is I have my cert now! Bad news was we did all of it in the pouring rain. Belaying already sucks, don't make it worse
Thanks to Hunny for finishing this for me! Clarence was poisoned by, well, someone~! No spoilers there, but he's bound to blame the elves (Silas haha) for it! You'll see more about who it could be next week. Thanks all for reading and your lovely comments. I've been trying to get to things in a timely manner, but it's a little tough...
I have a job interview for a full-time, fancy schmancy position soon too! So, time escapes me. Thanks always, all, and have a great week ;u;♥