Chapter 30:
No Such Thing as True Love
Silas clutched his hood over his head, feeling the last bit of mana beginning to drain from his body as he ran with Meredith at his side. Meredith ran forward with one hand in his bag, digging around it while running forward, watching for any of the remaining men sent by Beau in the streets. Thankfully, they were able to navigate the city through the back ways and alleys, so they were not seen by anyone, other than their own shadows. None of the soldiers were in sight.
"What was that?" Silas quietly asked Meredith as they began to slow down, having left the immediate vicinity of the brothel, "That could not have possibly been the Yursinean crown prince, right? There's no way, right?"
"I'm not sure." Meredith kept walking forward, keeping his back to Silas as he said. "I did not get a good look at him. What about you? What did you see? What did he look like?" Their footsteps were the only thing they could hear in the night, other than the sound of the lanterns lighting up the nearby roads as the sky darkened. Bugs tapped against the glass, the sound making Silas's heart beat faster.
"I don't know." Silas said, clutching his head with one hand and holding his cloak close to his body with the other.
Meredith stopped abruptly, causing Silas to almost run into the man's back. Meredith turned to face him before he sighed once and said in a quiet voice only Silas could hear, "Silas, look at me." With some hesitation, Silas looked into Meredith's unclouded blue eyes, "You are one of the few people in this kingdom who have been close enough to the crown prince to know for sure what he looks like. Was that, or was that not the same image of the child you once attempted to assassinate?"
Silas looked down and shook his head, "I-I don't know. That was a grown man. The person I tried to kill ten years ago was a child. What would the crown prince be doing at a brothel anyway?"
Meredith stepped close to Silas and heatedly whispered at him, "Silas, this is very important. You have to be sure. If that was the crown prince, the reason he was there be damned, our mission is over. We have to flee the country immediately." Meredith sighed and turned away from Silas, covering his face with his hand, "By the gods, we need to abandon the mission anyway. There's probably soldiers on their way here as we speak!"
"No!" Silas snapped, getting close to Meredith, his irises slits, "If we pull out now, what happens to my family?!" Meredith watched Silas closely as Silas shook his head rapidly, "I don't care what happens, we are finishing this mission. I'll go back and kill him myself if I have to."
Meredith shook his head, "Silas, you're not thinking clearly. I cannot let you make decisions right now. This surprise and the delirium is from a lack of mana, you're not in your right mind."
Silas shook his head, thinking, No, my mind is clear. I lost them once. I won't lose them again.
With Silas thinking to himself, Meredith patted Silas's shoulder with his hand, passing his bag to him. "Come on, we need to keep going. For now let's get out of town and then we can rest outside the city, somewhere in the forest. We can't delay any longer, or else they'll find us." Meredith grimaced heavily, "Once we're out of the town, I'll contact Eva and we'll decide what we will do then."
The thought of being caught by the royal Yursinean guards was the only thing that made Silas's body move. It had been ten years since he had last seen his family, and the thought of him losing his and Meredith's lives before he would be able to see them again was unbearable. Shaking his head and sighing to himself, Silas dragged his tired body behind Meredith as they quickly ran through the side streets, ducking under the cover of the dark to make their way towards the river to escape the town.
As the pair hurried towards the town walls, Clarence had already made his way outside of the brothel, his travel bag on his back and cloak covering him. There was a strange feeling in Clarence's chest, and when he thought about the person he had run into before, his heart felt warm and light, as if the world around him was cloudy, but also clear. This feeling made Clarence feel he would be able to find the one thing he felt he was missing, his purpose in life.
I never would have thought that person was still alive. From the time he was born, his mother and father had always insisted the elves were evil, mischievous creatures that would harm humans any chance they got, even harming villages full of people, lighting the buildings on fire, and destroying crops like locusts. Before he had been attacked by that elf, he thought they were exaggerating, that elves were peaceful creatures. Seeing that elf again, however, brought strange feelings over him, making him feel a coursing wave of fury, anxiety, and tension. The bottom of his chest prickled, making Clarence hold his heart with his right hand as he thought to himself, Why, after all these years, did he appear again? Why here, why so close to the capital?
Clarence, lowering his hood on his head, touched the corner of the vest in his bag and then began to run forward, attempting to catch on to the trail of the person before he heard something fall on the stone path behind him with a light tap. Part of the prince was in such a rush, he did not want to turn around to catch it, but he felt obligated to check, at least, what had fallen out of his hands. Turning around, Clarence bent at the knees and picked up a small piece of paper that had been folded into a small square, almost small enough to hold between his thumb and forefinger.
"Cailith." The words escaped Clarence's pale lips as he read the words in his mind. His long fingers traced over the messy font. Staring at these words, the feeling of being on an unreachable cloud began to subside for the prince, and the feeling of realistically being able to catch that elf, the elf that had attempted to assassinate him filled his heart with an encompassing feeling of glee. If he were able to capture that elf, he could return the years of suffering that elf put him through
Clarence's grip on the clothes in his hand tightened before he released his tense grip, anxious that he would rip the clothes in his hands. Carefully, he opened his bag and placed the clothes inside, holding the note in his right hand with a determined expression on his face.
"You idiot!" As Clarence looked up from the note to continue on, Alywin had caught up to him, panting, holding his bag in his hand as his coat fluttered in the wind, making him look small in the darkening street. "What were you thinking, just running out of there like that?! You almost gave me a heart attack!"
Alywin gasped once more, taking in some fresh air, before looking up at Clarence. As he stared at Clarence's imposing figure, Alywin's further complaints lodged themselves in his throat, refusing to rise. Alywin's eyes stared in shock and recognition as he beheld the form he had encountered ten years ago.
"Clarence?" Alywin said, trying to keep his tone calm and cool.
"Yes, Alywin?" Clarence said, his eyes shooting over to his friend as his body remained oddly still. His once light blue colored eyes now a strange color Alywin did not recognize.
"What happened back there, Clarence? What did you see?" Alywin asked, gesturing with his arm back at the building, while he kept his eyes on Clarence.
Clarence laughed lightly before slowly saying, enunciating each word, "The most perfect thing, Alywin. I-" Clarence reached his hands up and clenched them tightly, "I can finally do the one thing I needed to do, since I was almost killed ten years ago."
Alywin's light brown eyes narrowed as he looked at Clarence's manic expression with a difficult expression. "What do you mean?"
The prince closed his eyes and smiled, turning away from Alywin as he turned towards the city walls, looking where to go next. "I can finally capture that elf."
…
Alywin and his father were walking down the side hall to the library in the Yursear Palace. The duke had been dressed especially formally that day, donning his best purple dress jacket as he walked ahead of Alwyin by a step, making the young boy attempt to catch up with him as we walked.
The tight dress jacket and dress pants made it difficult for Alywin, and he tripped and tottered clumsily on the leather shoes on his feet, making him look all the more awkward in the grand palace. His blonde curly hair had been styled and pushed back, showing his face in an uncomfortable way. Just as Alywin had been tempted to reach up his hand and adjust his hair, his father stopped abruptly and looked back to Alywin. He clenched his teeth while keeping his nose high and hissed condescending.
"You will not ruin this opportunity, child." The man's voice was dark and full of disdain, making Alywin feel the pit in the bottom of his stomach grow larger. "This is your only chance. Do you understand?" The man's deep, burgundy eyes never left Alywin's thin frame.
"I understand, father." Alywin listened to the man's patronizing words with terror in his heart. Alywin knew the consequences if he failed. He would be back out on the streets, and all the hard work he'd done so far would be for naught. Alywin would not let that happen.
The duke grimaced as Alywin responded, making the older man look all the more bitter. He tsked to himself and began to walk, leaving Alywin to rush to catch up behind him.
It was not until the pair reached the door to the library that they were greeted by a young, nervous maid. The girl's blonde hair was braided in the back, and her face was flushed red, as if she had been anxiously waiting for something. Seeing the duke and his son, she let out a small sigh of relief as she curtsied to the pair, greeting them. "Duke Cyneric, the crown prince is waiting inside."
The duke grabbed onto Alywin's shoulders with a tight grasp, making the pair seem like a close family with a good relationship, however the nails of the duke's fingers dug deep into Alywin's shoulders, and he could only bite his stiff, smiling lips to hide the pain. "Go on now, Alywin. Do not leave his majesty waiting." He firmly patted Alywin's shoulder before guiding him towards the maid standing by the door.
As the young maid opened the door to the room, there was a loud shriek, followed by the sound of crying. Alywin froze and looked towards the maid, whose face had paled to another degree. Her hand was tightly clenched, gripping the door handle tightly. Cold sweat drenched her face. Opening the door, Alywin froze.
"I quit! I won't be treated like this anymore!" A young maid with long red hair stood in the middle of the room, crying. Her freckled cheeks had been scratched by what looked like the nails of a wild animal, leaving her round cheeks bruised and bloody. The blood from the scratches dripped down her face and onto the white collar of her uniform.
"Valorie, please! You're the only one who can calm the prince!" A butler pleaded from inside the room, looking desperately at the injured red-haired maid. The blood running down her cheeks looked like tears, making her look more wretched than before, with her hair in disarray, scattered around her shoulders in tangled curls.
"No!" The bleeding maid, Valorie, was unable to be stopped as she quickly ran outside the room, crying as she dashed past Alywin and the other maid. Now, Alywin was able to look into the room and see the crown prince that he had been taught so carefully to befriend.
The ten-year-old prince was sitting on the floor of the tutoring room, surrounded by high shelves of old books and other learning materials. Scattered papers laid around the large room, torn with random scribbles across the paper, some shredded beyond repair. Books were haphazardly placed around him with rips in the pages, making them look as if they had been frantically removed. Looking at the prince's pale white hands, there were scratches and blood drops littered around his body like poppy flowers. Alywin could only think of how painful the cuts were.
Maids and other attendants had attempted to calm the prince's fierce temper after Valorie's exit, but nothing was able to bring him back to a calm state. Clarence's face was red, full of tears as he stood in the middle of the room, his eyes wide as he panted, holding heavy objects from around the room in his bleeding hands. Splashes of ink and blood fell onto his face and clothes, making him look like a threatened, wounded predator fighting back against the other creatures.
The maid behind Alywin looked stressed, and her hand was stiff on Alywin's shoulder. Looking over her shoulder, Alywin could see her face was pale. This was not an unusual display, he thought to himself as he looked at the nearby butler attempting to step closer to the prince. When the butler's foot touched the edge of the rug Clarence had been standing on, the prince screamed and threw a nearby heavy, leather-bound book at the older man. He was able to dodge it by stepping back.
"Your m-majesty, there is a guest here to see you." The blonde, young maid standing behind Alywin stated, attempting not to catch the attention and ire of the young prince. Seeing someone he did not recognize was in the room, Clarence only spat out a hateful, "Get out!" before he grabbed one of the chairs from the nearby table and threw them towards the maid. She screamed and ran out of the way, leaving Alywin to step to the side on his own, barely evading the heavy wooden chair.
As the chair broke and splintered mere feet from Alywin, he took the time to stare at the rabid prince, whose body and mind were broken like the chair he had just thrown. Alywin's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the shriveled, small child, nothing like the golden god he had seen riding high above his people at the parade. This was a pathetic husk, one Alywin would have no time for if it was not for his father's demands and threats. Alywin's face dropped as he stared on in disappointment.
Where has the golden god gone?
With the servants in a despondent state, and Alywin's father standing in the doorway, watching his son with eyes of a hawk, Alywin sighed quietly to himself and walked around the broken chair towards the rug Clarence had been standing on. As he walked closer, the prince's eyes narrowed as he took a step back, warily looking at the young boy as he approached.
It wasn't until the tips of Alywin's shoes touched the rug did Clarence yell out, "Don't come any closer! Go away!"
Alywin, hearing Clarence's hostile rebuttal to his approach, raised his hands in surrender and took a large step back. Alywin then glanced around, looking for a place to rest his feet, tired from the uncomfortable shoes he was now forced to wear. With all the furniture in sight broken, no doubt because of the animal on the rug, Alywin lowered himself onto the ground, sitting a foot away from the edge of the large, circular rug the prince had been standing on, making the papers under his feet crunch. Alywin's vest tightened on his stomach, so he loosened the first few buttons, showing his dress shirt underneath, making him look calm and relaxed in the tense situation.
"What are you doing?" Clarence was vigilant and tense, like a fearful puppy. Alywin saw this fear and smiled to himself. Clarence reminded him of the stray dogs he met on the street. Taming the crown prince would be something of the same. Alywin thought to himself.
Alywin's gaze fixed on the prince's hands as he asked, "Does it hurt? Those cuts?" He moved his eyes to meet Clarence's.
Seeing the boy's heavy gaze, Clarence shrunk into himself a bit, thinking to himself before he answered carefully, "It doesn't matter."
"If you want, I can get someone to treat those scratches for you." Alywin looked over his shoulder at the remaining servants in the room before he turned back to look at the disheveled young prince.
Clarence rapidly shook his head, "No! They aren't allowed near me!"
Alywin turned his head to the side as he stared at the prince, "Can I come near you then? To clean your cuts." Alywin smiled lightly and softened his gaze, something he did when he wanted to sway someone, "I know why you hate the adults. They are all mean and rough." Alywin's father bit back a sharp reply to Alywin, seeing as what he was doing was working on the wild prince, "I know how it feels to be pushed around by them. I won't though, if you let me come near you."
Clarence's wild, scared eyes stared into Alywin's, and with some careful contemplation, he slowly nodded, "But you will stay on the edge of the rug."
Alywin smiled brilliantly, "Thank you, Prince Clarence." He slowly got up from his position on the floor and inched towards the watching prince. As Alywin's feet touched the tip of the rug, Clarence shouted, "Stop there!" which made Alywin freeze with a smile.
"Can I look at your hand?" Alywin asked, holding out his small, white hand to Clarence. Clarence looked down at his bloody hands, then Alywin's outstretched hand. Slowly, thoughtfully, he pulled his left hand away from his chest and held it out to Alywin, who took it gingerly. With careful consideration, Alywin pulled his sleeve out and began to gently pat at the blood on Clarence's hand, "Does it hurt?" Alywin asked, looking down at the small, bloody hand.
"A little." Clarence mumbled back, which caused Alywin to smile.
"If you let a doctor look at your hands, you'll feel better." Alywin offered as he released Clarence's hand and held his hand for Clarence's other hand, which Clarence obliged cautiously.
"No." Clarence said, shaking his head rapidly as he watched Alywin dab at his other bloody hand. Alywin looked up quizzically at Clarence.
"Why not?" Alywin asked, which caused Clarence to lean close to Alywin and whisper to him,
"I can't trust them."
Alywin did not move his body, but his eyes shot over to the quivering head of the crown prince.
"What do you mean?" He asked, watching the prince closely.
"I can't trust the adults. You shouldn't either." Clarence pulled his hand back and held it up to Alywin's ear, covering his lips from the eyes of the nearby adults, "They will betray you in the end."
"I-" Alywin said with a sad smile, "I know that, Prince Clarence."
Clarence pulled away from Alywin and stared at him, the quizzical expression now on Clarence's face. This caused Alywin to smile very sweetly.
"Do you trust me, Your Majesty?" He asked.
"No." Clarence said plainly, "Not yet."
Alywin thought for a moment before leaning in towards Clarence, putting his face near the small, tear-stained face, "Do you trust me enough to get a doctor to look at your hand?"
Clarence looked down and recoiled a little from Alywin. He thought for a few moments, clutching his hands tightly near his chest, "If you promise to stay here while the doctor is here, then I will allow it." The smile on Alywin's face grew into a mischievous one as his eyes glistened.
"If that's what you want, Your Majesty." Alywin said as a maid hurried out of the room to summon the royal doctor and the queen and king, "My name is Alywin, by the way." He held out his hand to the prince, who stared at it in contempt.
"You're on the rug." Clarence said quietly. Alywin looked down to see both his feet had slid closer to the prince on the rug.
"My apologies, Your Majesty!" Alywin said as he moved back.
"Don't go too far though." Clarence whispered, which made Alywin smile and step closer to Clarence, though still off the rug.
"Of course, Your Majesty."
…
As Alywin stared at Clarence, who was now an adult, he could not help but think of the time they had first met, and how animalistic the young prince had been. It had taken months for Clarence to act with any semblance of humanity, and it worried Alywin to watch the prince descend back into the creature he had once been.
Alywin bit his lip, trying to find something to say, to do, to make this transition stop, but he was at a loss for words. Though Alywin had helped him out of a dark place ten years ago, this time felt different. There was no trepidation, no childishness holding onto his instincts. Rather, it was as if there was nothing holding back the pain and trauma from before, and there was nothing to restrict his behavior like before.
Even if Alywin were here to attempt to comfort him and talk him down, he was unsure if it would even work with the prince's illness.
"Alywin, I'm going to Cailith." Clarence's voice was low with a chill that made the hairs on the back of Alywin's neck stand up. When Alywin tried to look at Clarence's face, he felt a cool feeling eat at his fingers, as if facing him would put himself in danger.
Alywin swallowed the dry spit in his mouth and said, "Clarence, I'm going with you."
Standing in front of Alywin, Clarence looked over his shoulder and shot a warm smile to Alywin, "If you insist." The cold feeling still hung around Clarence, but the trace of warmth in his expression made it hard for Alywin to think he could be sinking back to the monster he once was.