January 4, 2020.
"Keep going, keep going!" Austin yelled at me as he threw the ball to me.
I missed the shot, Austin caught the rebound again, and he threw it back to me. I shot again and made the shot, moving on to the final position along the three-point line. It took me another two tries to get it in from that position.
"Nice!" exclaimed Austin, who had been keeping count of the shots along with me. "Fifteen isn't bad!"
"It's alright," I said, but I was smiling a little too. Whether fifteen shots to make five three-pointers was good or not, it was definitely an improvement. I caught the ball as Austin passed it back and pushed it into my bad on the bench.
"We're stopping?" Austin breathed. "Thank God! Er, I mean gosh." Austin was raised in a heavily Christian family, and was always conscious of when he used the Lord's name in vain, even when his parents weren't around.
"What's that?" I asked, cupping my hand around my ear. "You want to keep going?"
"No! Please, no," he pleaded. "We've been out here for hours. Every day since we got out of school for Christmas break!"
Austin loved to help me practice basketball, but not for long periods of time. He also didn't care much for my teammates, and preferred to hang with me when they were elsewhere. That worked out well for me though. If my teammates couldn't practice with me, Austin could. And if nobody could, I'd do it myself. Nothing was stopping me from practicing, not even the cool weather. Not that it was too bad with us living in Florida and all. but when you get used to the hot weather and it makes anything under 80 degrees seem cold.
"I'm going back to the house," I told Austin. "You can come with if you'd like. My dad and stepmom are out with some of their friends."
Austin shrugged. "Sure."
So I threw my bag over my shoulder and we walked toward my house. We were about halfway there when my phone started to vibrate. An incoming Facetime call from Nathan. I answered it and Nathan's face appeared on my screen, along with flashing lights and lots of music and noise.
"Hey, Blake!" Nathan yelled over the music and yelling so I could hear him.
"What's up, Nate?" I asked while continuing to walk with Austin.
"I just wanted to update you—" Nathan paused to avoid a wildly dancing couple as they swung by, "—on how much fun you could've been having. Oh, hi Austin," he noticed Austin in the corner of my screen for the first time.
"Hi, Nathan," Austin replied.
"Yep, looks like you're having a blast," I replied, not really interested much in what I was missing.
"Tell Blake that there are tons of girls here!" shouted a distant voice that I could immediately identify as Cam's.
"Say hi to Blake for me, too!" said Max, also from somewhere is the distance.
"Wait, that's Blake?" a girl appeared on the screen that I didn't recognize at first. It was Maia, but her hair was flowing free instead of braided up and she was wearing a bright dress. "Hi Blake!"
"Hey Maia," I said.
"Let's get back on the dance floor, Natey," Maia pleaded, with Nathan making a face at me at the sound of his new nickname.
I laughed. "Looks like you have your hands full without me there," I said. "Besides, I'm working on my game."
Nathan nodded, like he completely understood. "That's great. You're getting better, man, I can see it."
"Thanks," I said. "I'll catch you later."
"Later," agreed Nathan, and he hung up the call.
"I would not want to be there right now," muttered Austin.
"What? Why not?" I asked. "I thought you were chasing girls just as much as Cam."
Austin shrugged. "Loud music, flashing lights, peer pressure. No thanks."
"Peer pressure?" I repeated. "When have I pressured you into doing anything. It's always you trying to get me to do things."
"Like what?" Austin challenged.
"Signing up for basketball, for one," I said, to which he didn't have much reply.
But by then, we'd made it back to my house. I fit the key in the lock, twisted, and walked inside. "I'm back, Liv," I announced. "Austin's here too."
I didn't know why, but Liv was always really shy around my friends. She was okay around Austin more than others, but I usually still let her know ahead of time so that if she wanted to stay out of the way, she could.
Austin and I hung out and played Xbox for awhile, until Austin's mom texted him to come back for dinner. I walked him out and then went back upstairs after he was gone to knock on Liv's door.
"Who is it?" she asked formally, even though she already knew the answer.
"The resident monster we have here that comes up every night to ask you what you want for dinner," I replied.
She started to laugh and opened the door. "No more fast food," she said.
I shrugged. "Fine, then. I will put in an order for one salad."
"No, no, no," Liv said quickly. "I wouldn't go that far."
So I ordered us both Uber Eats and we stayed in for the rest of the night. After we had eaten, I let Liv play her game on my computer while I watched Duke tearing up Miami in a men's basketball game. I didn't care for the Miami basketball team, and I didn't like Duke either—UNC was the only team I really pulled for. But I watched anyway, because I had learned that I could pick up just as much from watching basketball as I could playing it. I would try to watch as many professional and college level games as I could, and I'd try to pick up on some of the smaller things they did that made them good players. I had also found myself watching YouTube videos from people like Professor Live to pick up more tips on playing.
I didn't know if any of that would actually help me become better at basketball, but at least I was doing something. I was becoming sort of lost when I wasn't practicing, working out, or doing something that involved basketball. I didn't know what I had done the past several months without playing basketball. Whenever I wasn't playing basketball, I felt like I should be, and whenever I was playing, I felt like it wasn't enough. You'd think that would be tearing me apart, but I was alright. I was no longer worried anymore about my day-to-day progress, because I was in it for the marathon. If I wasn't good enough by the end of one day, I'd work harder and harder until I was good enough. And I would be eventually. That was why I'd been pushing myself so hard recently, because I really thought that I was capable of doing better. And so I would. That's why I bad declined several offers over the winter break to go to weekend parties, Christmas parties, and New Year's parties and even just to hang out. I was focused on one thing and one thing only.
I knew for a fact that I had put more time in over the break than anyone else on the team. Of course, it was also me who needed to put in more time so that I could be a viable member of the team. Was it working? I'd find out soon enough. There was a practice on Monday and then a game Tuesday. That's when I'd show everyone what I could really do. Christmas break was a chance for me to pull ahead and improve while everyone else goofed off. Now I was ready to hit the ground running.
I stayed home the rest of that night and went to Church early the next morning. It was the last day of our Christmas break so I was meeting up with my friends to hang out for the day. Before I knew it, I found myself lying upside down on the edge of Nathan's bed, watching him attempt to do a school project. I didn't know what class it was for, but he was supposed to build some sort of robot by the end of the break, which he had procrastinated doing. Now, Max was handing him materials while Cam gave nonsensical tips and advice and I just watched. Watching someone build a robot might not sound like the most fun in the world, but it was actually pretty entertaining. I had wanted to go and practice basketball some more, but I think my friends were getting sick of me wanting to play every hour of every day so I decided to take a small break and just hang out.
"We have a problem," Nathan announced, running his hands through his hair. "The left leg won't fit on."
Cam lifted his arms into the air. "I told you that you should've made the thing have only one leg. Who doesn't want a hopping robot?"
Max and I laughed as we watched Nathan try his best to fix the leg. While messing with it, though, Nathan accidentally touched a button to make the thing move and the robot started to kick the one leg that it had and flail its arms. This caused Cam, Max, and me to roll over with laughter. Nathan wrestled the thing down and managed to turn it off with immense difficulty.
"This is hopeless!" Nathan exclaimed, pretending to throw the robot.
"I told you to call Austin for help," I said, trying to contain my laughter.
But Nathan shook his head. "He'd just laugh at me too."
I shrugged in response. "Yeah, he sure would but he'd also be able to get the thing working."
"Thanks, but I want to do this myself. This sort of mechanics and engineering sometimes feels like the only thing I'm good at."
"That's not true," I protested. "You're a great point guard on the team."
"Yeah, the back-up point guard."
"You still get more time than me," I pointed out.
"Not for long," he replied. "We've been playing and practicing with you all throughout the break, and we've all seen you improve. It won't be long before the coach sees it too, and then you'll have my spot for sure."
I looked around at my friends for back-up, but they all looked as if they'd come to the same conclusion as Nathan had.
"Look, I'm not trying to take your position on the team..." I started, but the point sort of fell off. "I mean, we don't even play the same position on the court! I've played shooting guard every time I've been put in."
"Are you kidding me?" Nathan asked. "You played point guard for years in middle school. Coach Hendrix knows that you're a natural at leading a team, he's just been waiting for you to get back to 100 percent. And now that you almost have, what happens to me? My playing time is temporary, because as soon as you get better, I get off the court."
"So what do you want me to do?" I asked, bewildered at how fast this had come on. "You want me to stop practicing?"
"I don't expect you to do anything!" he exclaimed. "I expect you to keep on working overtime to sabotage my chances, like you have been the whole break!"
"That's what you all think I've been doing?" I asked, looking around. Nathan was fired up, but I couldn't read Cam or Max. They were just sitting there and watching it go down, but it felt like they were accusing me too. "All I've been doing is trying to get back to where I was when I played in middle school. So that you guys didn't have to pick up my slack anymore. So that we could finally achieve our goal of us four all being on the starting team. I'm not trying to bring anyone else down, I'm only trying to bring myself up."
"Exactly," said Nathan. "You're too focused on yourself to see what's been happening around you. Time hasn't stood still and waited for you to get better. It kept moving, and so did we. I'm not a shooting guard anymore, I'm a point guard. We've all adapted to a team where you're not in it. And you're still over here trying to barge back into the game like you never left. You're too focused on yourself to become the leader on the court that you were. We've all moved on from middle school, and so should you."
"Yeah, okay," I said, grabbing my bag and backing toward the door. "I understand what's happening. I'd better get home."
Nathan, Cam, and Max watched as I ducked out of the door. I left the house with my face burning as I walked down the street. Did they really feel like I was trying to sabotage their chances of playing basketball. Was I trying to sabotage their chances of playing basketball? No, I was just trying to be better myself, wasn't I? Either way, my nonstop training over the break had made Nathan and the others think that I was competing with them. It was a simple misunderstanding, that's all. I'd make it up to them later. I'd have to.