*Ava tried to slow down her breathing as much as she could.
A difficult task due to her current predicament! An easy task due to being immobile.
The smell of some kind of chemical, most definately not Chanel, overwhelmed her senses and she turned her head towards noises in spite of not being able to see. Her neck and throat was a little bit sore and her arm throbbed, reminding her she was still alive.*
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He forced his bum towards Ava's face. "Oh my god! Such audacity! Only you! You are the only one I'd ever let get away with this shit! It's cuz you're pretty! And you know it! Yes you do, you're so pretty and you know it!" She blows on his puckered butthole and turns her head away, not having the cold heart needed to reject his trusting affectionate greeting.
Mr. Snaggletooth Fluffybottom Esq lll threw his body down on Ava's chest and she put her book down to cradle him. It was her day off and as much as she loved Mr. Flufflybottom she was bored. She's tired of these sappy romance novels with the hunk on the front. They're SO unrealistic.
Deep inside, she wants to be loved. Maybe daddy being too busy when she was growing up carved a void in her heart. Sure, mother being so preoccupied with money so much she couldn't see her daughter didn't help. Who knows. Ava's no shrink.
She had the fantasy that Mr. Rack might become something to her. But ever since her promotion he's been distant even though this is the closest she's ever been to him. He looks right through her and it's been impossible to connect with him. Working with the clients on his level has been a very big change which Ava is adapting to to the best of her ability. It's difficult to read Mr. Rack's satisfaction. The clients seem pleased with her, as well as the team she's become part of.
Part of her is relieved to not have to deal with Mr. Rack as much as she was expecting.
After her first meeting with him she felt drained. She felt heavy.
Part of her is disappointed she doesn't have the opportunity to get to know him better. Professionally of course.
During her first meeting with him she felt alive. She felt seen.
Mr. Fluffybottom pushed his muzzle into Ava's hand as if saying "Look at me! Love me!" She scratched and massaged at his head and made kissy noises while he blinked slowly at her. "What a wonderful boy you are!" He responded by amping up the purring to a whispering roar pausing only to yawn, revealing his ferocious teefies.
Her phone chirped. It was daddy. These past few years he has been trying to have a better relationship with Ava, probably out of guilt for being too preoccupied when she was growing up. Ignoring the flush of shame, Ava turned her ringer off and let him go to voicemail. A voicemail she wouldn't have the heart to listen to; a voicemail she wouldn't have the heart to delete either.
She has no excuse. It was a boring uneventful day off. She has plenty of rationalizations though; she won't admit that. She got up to make a cup of tea. After all, it was cold and snowing outside, and time to feed Mr. Flufflybottom. He followed her to the kitchen reowing and weaving through her legs. "Mr Snaggletooth Fluffybottom Esquire the third! Are you trying to make me fall?" The floor creaked and the radiator clicked. The sound of a siren warbled by, increasing and decreasing before stopping abruptly; Ava sighed, dreaming about the day she moves up in the world. She puts the tea on.
Dreaming is fine, fantasizing is great. Ava has worked hard to get this far in life. She knows she should be proud of herself, but she wants more. She wants to see the world, she wants to experience all that life has to offer.
She feeds Snaggle.
She imagines a vacation to Europe. Romance in Paris. An accordion singing at the masterful hands of culture, notes wafting in from another room. A bottle of champagne with a lover, hiding from the world on a semi private terrace that could exist somewhere far away...
The radiator bangs.
...coming home to an apartment that doesn't exist. It's spacious and safe; it's warm and bright. It's home, and she is not lonely. He holds her hand and she turns to kiss him...
The tea pot screeches and Mr Fluffybottom stands at attention as always. She coos and teases him, as always. Ava makes her tea and sets it by her book in the living room.
..."John..." She moans into his mouth. His passion deepens and he lifts her up as she wraps her legs around him. He growls and pushes her against the wall, her hands in his hair, his heart in her hands...
She looks into the mirror of her soul and tells herself the new year will be different. The new year will be better. She sits back down, warms her hands and breath with her tea cup, gazing at the quiet snowstorm outside.