Somehow, Ryan managed to fall asleep. Here he thought he'd stay up all night sweating over the best way to confess his feelings, but the siren call of his pillow turned out to be too much to resist.
The next thing he knew, pale sunlight was spilling through the porthole. He blinked, trying to clear his head. Somewhere close by, a soft voice was humming.
Turning his head, Ryan saw Fia in the desk chair, feeding biscuit crumbs to the cabin globe-fish. Though they could sustain themselves on Levia, they didn't mind the occasional treat. This one flapped its fins as it nibbled at Fia's palm, casting a glow that surrounded the sprite like a halo.
Ryan's heart pounded like he was running a marathon. Making things worse, Fia hadn't put on their poncho yet, revealing the shirt they wore underneath. It was open in the back to admit their wings, but that also let Ryan see every dip and curve of their shoulder blades.
'What the hell, man?' Feeling like the world's biggest creep, he dropped his gaze. Even without looking at Fia, though, he tasted their sea-salt scent with every breath. And the room was filled with their personal touches, like the handwoven rug on the floor.
Not wanting to stay in the cabin he'd shared with Avia, Ryan had started spending the nights with Fia. But if he thought about it, didn't this count as moving in?
His cheeks burned so hot he was amazed a fire alarm didn't go off. He mashed his face into the pillow, mentally begging his heart to calm down.
Thanks to Theo, he'd already made up his mind. Now all he had to do was say it, right?
No need to get all embarrassed when he'd been through this whole song and dance plenty of times. Hell, he couldn't even remember how many girls he'd dated. But now that he thought about it, they always confessed to him first, and he only said yes if he thought she was hot. And they'd get along fine for a few months, mostly hanging out at each other's houses and fooling around, before getting bored and breaking up. Lather, rinse, repeat.
But Fia...Fia was different. Ryan wanted to...treasure them.
Which meant making the first move. You'd think this would be a piece of cake compared to their battle against Hellebore, so why did he feel like he'd rather take on a thousand Infernal Legion soldiers?
When the scent of the ocean drifted toward him, Ryan jerked up. Sure enough, Fia had approached the bed and was blinking at him with big dark eyes.
"So you were awake, Ryan. Good morning!"
"Uh. Uh. Yeah." It took Ryan a moment to unstick his tongue, and even then he couldn't get out anything more coherent.
"Hm?" Horror of horrors, Fia leaned closer to him. "What's up?"
Ryan instinctively turned away. He felt like his heart was going to explode. 'Come on, come on! Now's your chance!'
"Ryan!" Fia's shout made him spin back around. They had put their hands on their hips, their lips pursed in a pout so adorable it ought to be illegal. "What's the matter with you lately?"
"Huh? Wha ya mean?" Ryan babbled.
"You know!" Fia sounded exasperated. "You've been out of it these past few days. And now you won't even look my way. Is something wrong with me?"
"No, no!" Ryan burst out, jumping to his feet. "Not at all!"
"Then what is it?" Fia said, tilting their head. "If something's bothering you, you should tell me. I'll always help, you know!"
Those words, straightforward and sincere like always, melted Ryan's heart into a goopy puddle. Just when he thought Fia couldn't get any more perfect... Dammit, could he call himself a man if he didn't spit it out here and now?
"Listen, Fia." Taking a deep breath, he straightened his back and looked the sprite in the eye. "I've got something important to tell you."
Fia blinked. "Huh? What is it?"
Now or never. Gathering all his courage, Ryan pushed the words out of his chest. "I...I...I...l-l-like...I like you, okay?"
Yeah, that could've come out smoother. But still. He'd finally said it.
His heart pounded harder and harder, while sweat dripped down his neck. Funny, he should've felt relieved, but instead the tension felt like it was choking him. Well, duh – saying the words was only the start of it.
Now he had to wait for Fia's reply, and nothing could be more painful.
Fia blinked some more. Then a big grin spread across their face, and they said brightly, "That's all? You don't have to tell me, I already know!"
Ryan's stomach dropped all the way to his feet. He stared at Fia, mouth hanging wide open. No way in hell. Had he been that obvious?
But looking at Fia's smile, no different from usual, gave him a horrible sinking feeling. Somehow, he couldn't help but think that his real meaning had whooshed right over their head.
If only he could sink through the floor and disappear forever. Or failing that, curl up into a ball and cry. But dammit, he wasn't that big a loser.
"No, no," he said, flailing his hands like an idiot. "That's not – I meant, uh, a different kind of like, okay?"
"Huh?" The smile slipped a bit, replaced by a wide-eyed bafflement that made Ryan want to die.
'Come on! Be clearer!' But no words broke through the panic swirling through his mind. Instead, instead –
His hands moved on their own, grabbing Fia by the shoulders. As his fingers dug into their soft, cool skin, he pulled them so close their chests bumped.
Their face filled his vision, eyes wide with confusion. They opened their mouth, but before they could speak, Ryan pressed his lips to theirs.
A million electric shocks sizzled through his nerves. Fia's lips were so soft, softer than clouds – softer than any girl's he'd ever kissed. And they tasted just like Fia, that wild scent of the sea, but with a subtle sweetness underneath that tugged at somewhere deep in Ryan's chest.
Fia went stiff at first, but then they relaxed with a sigh and leaned into the kiss. Colorful stars flashed in Ryan's vision as he felt their lips moving against his. This had to be the best kiss of his life. Nothing else could possibly compare.
When Fia pulled away, a protest rose in Ryan's throat – only to sputter into nothing when they planted a shy little peck on his mouth. Laughing in delight, Ryan eagerly kissed them back. This time it was Fia's turn to giggle, their breath tingling against his lips.
When he drew back, he leaned his forehead against Fia's and stared into their eyes. Whatever blood hadn't welled up beneath his cheeks was roaring in his ears. And Fia didn't seem much better, judging by the deep blue blush staining their face.
For a moment they stood there, holding onto each other while their rough breathing filled the cabin.
Since Fia didn't seem ready to talk, Ryan decided to break the silence. "Th-that," he stammered out. "That's the kind of like I mean."
Fia blinked rapidly as if coming out of a trance. When they looked back at him, they were smiling brighter than the sun outside. "Oh, so you mean love!"
"L-l-love?" Ryan reeled, feeling like he'd been punched in the sternum. Love. The word echoed inside his head, swirling around and around until it almost lost all meaning.
Love. He'd never said it to any of his past girlfriends, or even his own family. That kind of mushy shit just didn't suit him, after all.
But...but he looked at Fia, their sincere smile, and thought about everything they'd said to him, all the memories he had of them, and he couldn't think of any other words. Nothing else could express how grateful he was to have them by his side. How every time he looked at them, he felt like floating all the way into the sky.
"Yeah," he said, slow and careful. "Yeah. I love you, Fia."
Deep inside, he couldn't help but cringe at what had just come out of his mouth. But it was all worth it for Fia's reaction, the way their eyes sparkled and their smile grew wider than ever.
"I love you too, Ryan!"
Forget floating into the sky; Ryan wanted to blast off into outer space. Except if he did that, he'd have to leave Fia behind, and there was no way in hell he'd let that happen. Not after hearing those words from them.
"R-really?" he blurted, no longer giving a shit about looking cool. After all, Fia had already seen him at his worst, a useless wreck after Avia's death. They'd seen him like that and hadn't turned away. Just like how he'd helped them when they thought they couldn't reach Samakah.
"Yeah!" Wrapping their arms around his back, Fia stood on their tiptoes so their face was only inches from his. Like this, Ryan saw his own face reflected in their eyes, grinning just as big as they were. "You know, at first I thought you were kinda unreliable, but you're actually strong and kind and you've helped me so much. I really can't imagine where I'd be without you."
With every word, Ryan's face grew hotter and hotter – but his heart felt so wonderfully light. He'd never imagined anyone would say those things about him, but here they were, right in his arms.
And while Fia babbled a mile a minute, Ryan couldn't think of anything to say. But it didn't matter, because he didn't need words.
Gripping Fia tight, he pulled them into another kiss. Their voice trailed off into a sigh, and as they leaned deeper into the kiss, he thought they tasted sweeter than ever.