Later that night, the thoughts wouldn't stop bouncing around Theo's head. Sarieva. The Infernal Lord. Darkness. A night sky.
They were like pieces to a puzzle whose final form he couldn't begin to imagine. So best not to think about it, right?
Easier said than done, of course. He'd even tried meditating earlier, fat load of good it had done him. Now he had no idea what time it was and sleep couldn't be further away.
Conceding defeat, he slid out of bed. Maybe some fresh night air would clear his head. Or failing that, running a few laps around the deck.
He stepped out the door with a globe-fish bobbing over his shoulder, casting a circle of pale light in the darkness. But as he headed toward the nearest ladder, he saw a similar soft glow at the other end of the corridor – and it was coming steadily closer.
Someone else was awake? Maybe Kress making her rounds. As the light approached, a silhouette appeared within it. Tall and broad-shouldered, but not nearly enough to be Kress. Instead –
"Victor?" Theo blurted. His voice echoed off the narrow walls, making him wince.
The light shuddered and fell still. Then footsteps thudded across the floor as the silhouette strode toward him.
Soon Victor entered Theo's circle of light. The pale glow splashed across the stark planes of his face, revealing the shadows beneath his eye.
"Uh…," Theo began, feeling horribly awkward. He still couldn't wrap his mind around sharing the same craft as Victor, let alone running into him in the middle of the night. Not when he'd spent so long impossibly beyond Theo's reach.
"Couldn't sleep too?" Victor's low voice snapped Theo out of his musings. Embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his head.
"Y-yeah…thought I'd get some air up on the deck."
"I see," Victor said. A pause, then, "Mind if I join you?"
He darted a sidelong glance at Theo, almost like he was nervous. In the strangest way, it touched Theo. So he nodded, and when he started down the corridor again, Victor fell in step behind him.
They walked in silence the rest of the way. Surprisingly, it didn't feel awkward; instead, Theo found himself remembering lazy afternoons spent doodling while Victor practiced cello across the room. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he walked faster.
It helped when they got onto the deck. The air was as refreshing as Theo had hoped, sharp and cold against his face. Light glowed in the cabin windows, but otherwise they were alone. He rested his elbows on the railing and gazed at the stars painting glittering trails across the sky. They had never seemed so bright and close on Earth.
But beautiful as they were, the stars stirred new memories in his mind. A vast cosmos. Suffocating darkness. And a gentle dawn glow, spreading like wings around him….
"Theo." Upon hearing his name, Theo whipped toward Victor. His gaze was serious and intent. "Are you okay?"
"Uh." Theo blinked. "Why do you ask?"
"You suddenly looked...distant." Victor spoke carefully, as if weighing every word. "I know...a lot has happened. If you want, you can tell me...only if you want, of course."
He turned away, but Theo didn't miss how his foot tapped a nervous beat against the deck. It made his heart ache like a fresh bruise. Victor really was serious about this, wasn't he? Trying to be a proper big brother for the first time in his life.
Yet Theo hated how his first instinct was to keep quiet. He couldn't silence the voice in his head warning not to share potentially dangerous information with an enemy.
But Victor wasn't an enemy anymore. He was doing his best to change, so at least Theo ought to meet him halfway.
Besides...maybe there was no one better to share his current troubles with.
"I guess I was thinking a lot," he said. "About the Infernal Lord."
Victor turned toward him again, looking startled. "The Infernal Lord?"
"Yeah...about his Levia. And, well, Sarieva."
Victor leaned a little closer. "Did you remember more?"
"No, I don't think so...but when he was attacking me, Mom showed up." Theo swallowed, suddenly uncertain if he should continue. Victor's reaction did not help; he took a step backward, his face paling.
"Mom?"
The way his voice trembled twisted in Theo's heart like a needle. Unable to look Victor in the eye, he made himself speak to the stars above.
"I've...seen her in my dreams a few times. She told me to go to the sages, and that's where I found the Star core." Unconsciously, his hand drifted to the holster by his side and closed around the crystal. Its warmth pulsed against his skin, calming his jangling nerves.
"I see." Victor's voice was so soft Theo almost didn't hear it above his heartbeat. "Does this have to do with...what you told me earlier? About those dreams you've always had?"
Theo's heart jolted as he remembered that meeting in the cafe so long ago. Or rather, Victor's wide-eyed disbelief as he demanded to know just what he was talking about.
"I don't know," he made himself say. "I just...this time when Mom showed up, it wasn't a dream. It was her Levia. And it protected me from the Infernal Lord."
"I see." Victor still sounded distant. Unease twisted Theo's insides, but he forced himself to keep talking, to get it all out before his nerve deserted him.
"Only after she appeared...that's when he said Sarieva."
Victor breathed in sharply. "Hold on. You mean – "
"I mean, Mom's name wasn't Sarieva. I know that." Theo twisted his fingers together so tight his knuckles turned white. "But...but it was Eva. Eva Ling."
Victor's hushed voice quivered in the night air. "Sari...eva."
Hearing it spoken aloud made the connection unmistakable. Theo's heart slammed like it wanted to tear out of his chest.
"The Infernal Lord recognize Mom's Levia. When she appears in my dreams, she always has six wings." The words tumbled over one another in their haste to escape. He almost couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. "I thought she might have been a wizard who'd already come into her power. But…."
His skin itched like it wanted to jump off. 'Insane, this is absolutely insane.'
"When I – we – learned about Darian, you know...about wizardry and seraphim…."
"Theo." When a firm hand clamped around his shoulder, Theo had no choice but to look at Victor's bloodless face. "What are you saying? That Mom was a seraphim?"
Theo cringed. Put that starkly, it really did sound ridiculous.
"I guess – I mean – it's just some crazy theory," he babbled. "I mean, that'd make us half-seraphim or something, wouldn't it?" A laugh burst out of his throat, though it sounded shrill and strained.
And it still didn't explain why only he ever saw Mom. But he knew better than to say this to Victor.
As it was, Victor looked more troubled than Theo had ever seen him. The hand on Theo's shoulder wouldn't stop trembling. Yet every time his fingers began to press down, he immediately loosened his grip.
Theo's throat tightened. Even now, Victor was trying to look out for him.
The least he could do was return the favor. He lifted his own hand, slow and careful, and rested it on Victor's wrist. It was the kind of gesture he wouldn't think twice about doing for Zenith or Sam, but now he felt painfully, exquisitely aware of every movement.
When Victor stiffened, Theo almost yanked his hand away. But one look at his brother's face froze him in place. In spite of everything, the faintest of smiles tilted up the corners of Victor's mouth.
His mouth opened slightly – but before he could speak, a door clicked open nearby and voices spilled out onto the deck.
Theo jolted. Turning his head, he saw several people leaving the deck cabin. Darian and Guntar, followed by Meg – and Zenith.
Zenith lifted his head and his eyes locked with Theo's.
Theo had just enough time to make out the shock spasming across his face before he charged across the deck. "Let go of him!"
Victor yanked his hand away like he'd touched a hot stove. Theo's own arm dropped limp by his side. Suppressing a ridiculous pang of loss, he made himself look at Zenith.
But Zenith didn't spare him any attention. Instead, he glared at Victor as if hoping to set him on fire with his eyes. "What were you doing?"
His voice was taut with fury, setting off alarm bells in Theo's head. He darted in front of Zenith, raising his hands. "It's okay, Zenith. We were just talking."
"Talking?" Zenith snapped. "About what?"
"I couldn't sleep, that's all," Theo said, sweating. "Victor was helping me."
"Why – " Zenith began, only to abruptly cut off. His eyes fluttered shut and he drew in a shuddering breath. When he opened them, all the rage had drained from his expression. Not that the careful neutrality that replaced it was much better.
"It's gotten late, Theo," he said, stiff and precise. "You ought to go to bed. I'll walk you to your room."
"Uh...ah, okay." Theo darted a nervous glance at Victor, who only nodded. Breathing out, he walked over to Zenith's side.
Without glancing back, Zenith started across the deck. Theo hurried after him, trying not to feel like he'd been caught doing something wrong. He hadn't, not at all, though he knew Zenith was only worried about him.
Well, his old worries didn't seem so bad anymore. If only because a dozen new ones had taken their place.