By the time he headed back to the Blue Sky, Theo could barely drag his feet behind him. To his embarrassment, he ended up leaning against Victor for support. He shouldn't have accepted the help, especially when Victor had more reason to feel tired than him, but he just couldn't argue with the surprising warmth of his brother's unarmored hand on his shoulder.
The next thing Theo knew, he was blinking heavy eyelids while his head felt stuffed with cotton. For a moment, he couldn't figure out where he was.
But after a few hard blinks, his senses crept back in. This warm weight over his chest had to be his blanket, and the metal bars greeting his vision were the underside of the upper bunk.
Yawning, Theo rolled over. His muscles still felt stiff, but didn't ache half as much as earlier. With the porthole curtains drawn, he couldn't tell the time of day, but it wasn't completely dark in the cabin. A faint glow came from a globe-fish hovering above the desk, highlighting the large silhouette seated in the chair.
The silhouette was bent over, hands moving briskly. The soft sound of rustling cloth filled the air. Rubbing his eyes, Theo focused on the scene. It was Victor, he realized, and he was busy...sewing?
"Victor?" burst out before he could stop himself.
Victor whipped toward him, dropping the cloth. The globe-fish zipped to the ceiling, brightening in order to illuminate the entire cabin.
"Theo. You're awake," Victor said, blinking.
"Uh, yeah." Though he didn't why, Theo felt his face grow hot. "What – what are you doing?"
Victor glanced at the cloth on the desk. "Fixing my cloak. Sorry, did I disturb you?"
"No, it's okay," Theo said as he hauled himself upright. "I got enough sleep. But what about you? Were you awake the whole time?"
"Don't worry about me," Victor said, raking a hand through his hair. It was neater than before, Theo noticed, and the shadows under his eye didn't seem quite as pronounced. "I just happened to wake up before you. How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Theo said.
"That's good."
For a moment, an awkward silence fell. Victor didn't look back at Theo, nor did he pick up his sewing again. Meanwhile Theo sat on the bed, trying his hardest not to squirm.
There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to know. He didn't have the faintest idea where to begin. Some part of him wondered how long it had been since he and Victor had been together in the same room like this.
Maybe at the coffee shop, when Theo had asked about Mom. He hadn't gotten any of the answers he'd wanted, but maybe now –
What was he thinking? He couldn't let down his guard around Victor that easily, could he? Zenith was right that Victor had already betrayed him, and Theo himself had sworn never to trust his brother again.
"Where's Zenith?" he blurted.
When Victor jerked, Theo instantly regretted asking. But Victor answered quite calmly. "Still in town. I did talk with him and Prince Darian earlier. She's decided to accept our offer."
"Accept…," Theo echoed, at first unable to comprehend Victor's meaning. Then it hit him like a ten-ton truck. Darian had accepted. Which meant – which meant –
Victor had joined the crew. The brother he had vowed to save. The brother who had hurt his friends, who had betrayed his trust. The brother he'd tried to write off as completely irredeemable.
If only it could be that simple. Because here and now, he was right in front of Theo.
Theo swallowed, though he couldn't find any moisture in his mouth. He straightened his back, forced himself to stare straight at Victor. Maybe it helped that Victor refused to meet his gaze.
"Victor...why did you...why did you decide to…?"
To his shame, he couldn't get out anything more coherent. But Victor understood. Staring at the floor, he said, "The Infernal Lord would have killed you."
"But you knew, didn't you?" Theo's voice came out harsher than he intended. "You knew all along that's what the Infernal Legion wanted. So you got cold feet when push came to shove? How hypocritical of you."
He couldn't stop the nasty words from spilling out – and he didn't want to. Because he was angry at Victor, wasn't he? That hypocrite who didn't care about anything except his idealized image of an adoring little brother. He hadn't changed an ounce, hadn't repented for his actions. All he'd done was make another self-serving decision.
Victor's hands curled into his fists and his shoulders stiffened. Theo could see the back muscles knotting up beneath his shirt. "No, that's…." He breathed out, though his body remained tense. "You're not wrong. I was being a hypocrite."
Slowly, he turned to face Theo. Despite himself, Theo's heart skipped when he saw the expression on Victor's face. With his brow furrowed and mouth trembling, Victor looked nothing like the implacable man in black armor who tormented Theo's nightmares.
"When you said I never saw you...you were right. You've grown so much, but I still thought of you as a little kid. I...I'm sorry."
All the breath fled Theo's lungs. No way. In all his wildest dreams, he'd never imagined Victor actually apologizing.
A strange warmth flooded Theo's chest, but it came tinged with a bitter edge. So what if Victor had apologized. After everything he'd done, Theo wouldn't – couldn't – let him off so easily.
"It's a start, but I'm not the only one you need to apologize to." He tried to sound stern, but couldn't help the waver that crept into his voice. "You hurt my friends too. And Zenith."
Victor's throat convulsed. "I know," he said quietly. "It's fine if they don't forgive me. Or even you. To tell the truth...you aren't the main reason I did it."
"What?" Theo's heart slammed against his ribcage. Just when he thought he'd figured out the situation, Victor had to throw a curveball like this?
"Don't get me wrong." Victor sighed, eyelid sliding shut. "I couldn't let them hurt you. But that was more like...the final straw. To tell the truth, I had already been considering leaving the Legion long beforehand."
His eye opened again, gazing up at the ceiling. Though he sat only a few feet from Theo, he somehow seemed miles away.
"You see...I learned what it means to truly want to protect someone. With you, it was...just a way of making myself feel good. It had nothing to do with your feelings, or even your wellbeing. But for this person…."
As if unconsciously, his hand drifted up to his eyepatch. The blood wouldn't stop pounding in Theo's ears, but he forced himself to ignore it, not wanting to miss a single one of his brother's words.
"For him, I would risk it all with no regrets. My body, my life." His voice hardened. "As long as it meant he didn't have to suffer. And finally, when even that wasn't enough, I had to decide what I really wanted. What really mattered."
The last words came out barely louder than a breath, yet each one wormed its way into Theo's heart. This person. Even as he wondered, he already knew who it must be.
All this time, Theo had never had any idea. Of course he hadn't; just like Victor had never known the real him, he'd never known the real Victor either. And the real Victor, it turned out, was someone capable of caring this much about another person.
He didn't know what to say about it, though. So he didn't say anything, but Victor didn't either. Another awkward silence fell, this one seeming to stretch into eternity.
Victor didn't seem interested in breaking it. The atmosphere grew heavier and heavier, to the point where Theo swore he could hear every droplet of sweat trickling down his neck.
So he decided to make the first move. Clearing his throat, he said, "Um, you must've been through a lot, huh? You'll have to tell me all about it. Er, um, I mean, if you want to."
'Real smooth, dumbass,' he berated himself. And it did not help when Victor snapped his head up and stared as if noticing him for the first time.
But the deer-in-the-headlights expression vanished quickly, replaced by a – Theo's heart flipped – faint twitch of his mouth. Almost a smile.
"Of course. The same goes for you."
"Yeah, um." Theo bunched up the blanket in his hands, fighting against the urge to rub the back of his head. "How about, for starters, uh, what was your beef with Ulrich Ziegler?"
The question surprised him, but it made sense – he had wondered. For his part, Victor blinked before saying, "You know him?"
"Yeah, we kind of...ran into him once. He tried taking over the Blue Sky."
Victor's eye narrowed slightly. "What happened to him?"
"We obviously beat him, right? Otherwise we wouldn't be around," Theo babbled.
"Is he still alive?" The question held a strange urgency.
Theo was more than happy to shake his head.
"Ah." Victor leaned back, shoulders relaxing. "Good."
"Um, so, what about you?" Theo chanced. "He talked about a wizard in black armor. Didn't seem like you left a good impression."
"Hm." A pause, then, "He stole something important to me. So I took it back."
Theo waited, but Victor stayed silent. There definitely had to be more to the story; Victor had never been the type to care that much about his personal possessions. But he had the sense Victor wasn't going to elaborate anytime soon.
Which was fine. They'd have plenty of time to talk in the future.