I lied on the cushions of my bed and the soft feather pillows rested beneath my head. I had been blankly staring at my pale white wall in the darkness of the room I had been locked into like a prisoner in a cell.
My mind stirred with confusion and stress from the 'talk' me and Jaren had. To me though it had seemed more of a scolding in which I had no point of view on the subject of MY future.
" We know what's best for you Helena". Jaren's words repeated over and over in my cursed memory. " You should listen to us for your best interest". These words annoyed me to no end. No doubt countless words and curses of frustration had crossed my mind. I had stayed up all night because of this.
I see a dim light start to pour into the walls of my room as the sun rose steadily over the trees. I sat up and turned my body to peer out the window behind my bed. The sky was decorated in light pinks and oranges of all shades.
This fact relaxed me a bit. To know the sun will always rise into another day. Then again I had this twisted feeling in my stomach. What's the point of another day if it's always the same as the last?
With that, I pulled my body away from the window and gazed onto my bedsheets. My hand traced the pattern of flowers delicately. This was mothers comforter. I wonder if she stayed up on long nights and wondered over her life...
I wonder if she and father ever got into arguments like me and the boys... I wonder if she had the thoughts I did of rage and irrational ideas. For her to lay in this bed and be filled with worry and stress as I am now?
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even Haru, and he was the most annoying person ever. Then again I have never met anyone else besides my brothers. Oh, mother why did you have to go off somewhere?
If you were here everything would be so different. After all, I would be allowed to go where the boys do and see what they see. Yet that will never happen because you're gone and no one will tell me why.
This irritated me to no end. I was thinking about it for hours. So long I could see all my things clearly from the sunlight without even switching on a signal man-made light.
A quiet knock on my door finally snapped me out of my daze as Jacob opened my door. The door made a sort of high pitched creaking sound as he poked his head inside.
"It's breakfast time". Jacob spoke and I slid out of bed and rubbed at my tired eyes. Not to my surprise, Jacobs's outfit was the same as usual. Ripped jeans with a black skull t-shirt. Over his shirt, he had a red worn-out jacket.
His dark brown hair slightly covered his eye. Jacob was the quiet one. In all honesty, I knew so little about him you could barely call me his sister. I had only held one real conversation with him in my life.
I somehow managed to get him talking about comics with me when I was seven and had stumbled into the box of them in the hall. Other than that nothing I would count as a conversation.
" I'll be out in a minute let me get dressed". I stated and he nodded without a word and walked away. Trudging to my dresser I pulled out a blue flowing tank top and some leggings. I tied a green hoodie around my waist and strode into the hall.
Before I was even halfway down a heard voices. "Water...hanger...soaking wet ". finally, a louder voice covered the two voices. " Haru apologize!" Jaren strictly appointed
I walked into the room to find Levi, who was still in his pajamas, drenched standing in a forming water puddle on the floor. Well on the other end Haru had a mischievous smirk on his face. The glint in Haru's eye had meant something bad had happened. Or to be less polite Haru plaid a trick on Levi because he was a jerk.
I sighed. That's Haru for you. The most obnoxious annoying trouble maker ever. I looked back to Levi's door to find a tipped over bucket at the top. I guess it was kind of funny. I couldn't help to at least giggle at this.
After I giggled I felt eyes on me. The staring seemed to burn through my skin. I turned back and noticed everyone had seemed to identify my presence in the room. Levi's clothes drenched gave me a half-hearted smile as his wet hair made droplets on the pale skin he owned. I returned it and fumbled into the kitchen to serve breakfast.
The smell of rice, grilled fish, miso soup, pickles, and a Japanese-style omelet wavered in the kitchen. I couldn't help but drool over the smell. My stomach growled with hunger as I got down the bowls.
I started to set the table as the boys filed into their usual seats. Yet there excused Levi to go dress in new clothes. I finally sat down at the table quietly.
Peering around at first I didn't understand why no one was saying a prayer but they all studied the empty seat beside me. " Is Noah still gone"? My voice seemed so loud in the dead quiet room.
That's when I realized how stupid those words sounded. Noah was always gone. Ever since I could remember he had either been off on a job or preparing for one. I would gladly say my second eldest brother was a workaholic.
Yet a feeling tugged at my stomach as well as though I had forgotten something. Today the boys were eerily quiet. It annoyed me slightly no one even answered me they just sat there blankly in thought as they ate. I dragged out a long sigh and recited the prayer quickly and began to eat.
I felt the warm food flood my senses. It was good, almost too good to be made quickly. That means all the boys were up earlier than usual. Or at least Jaren...
The silence irritated me. As though it was an unspoken promise I was not let in on. I cleared my throat. " May I be excused?" My voice came out meek. Jaren simply nodded and I scurried out of the room so I would not have the feeling of awkwardness anymore than I had to endure.
My pace slowed as I went down the hall my thoughts ran through my brain faster than I could explain. Why was everyone so gosh dang quiet? Why am I not included? Maybe the reason Haru pulled that prank was to lighten the damp mood of today... But what's the reason for such a mood?
My head spun dizzily from my overthinking. That's when a thought hit me. I stood right outside of Haru's door. Maybe everyone was just in a sour mood. Maybe I could somehow change that. A smirk pulled at my lips.
" You have to earn it... to prove it to us". Levi's words rattled my brain. Slowly I placed my sweating palm to the wooden door. My palm pressed against it slightly in hopes it wasn't locked.
With a small squeal, the door opened slightly. In fear someone might hear If I had opened it all the way, I slid my body in sideways to avoid it.
My eyes scanned over Haru's dim, blue bedroom searching. There cast away beside leaning against his bead was a bow and sheath of arrows. I slung both of these over my shoulder quickly and crept into my room.
I griped a hoodie off the top of my desk chair and rapped the items up so it looked as though I had just folded it. My heart thundered rapidly against my chest. striding back into the living room I checked to see if the boys were still in the kitchen.
My hunch was correct they sat there most only about halfway through their meal. Boy today was sluggish. I quietly snuck to the back door like a mouse. I opened it hastily but not enough for anyone to notice.
I must have been as frantic as a deer in fear of my brothers catching me. I planned on showing them after I had perfected my shooting. I knew they would flip out. Yet if I could only show them that I could handle myself then maybe... Maybe I would finally be able to leave this cursed house.
My feet slipped into my outside shoes as I walked over to the trees. My hand brushed the rough bark of one of the pine trees and my heart fluttered with hope. A smile broke onto my face as I stepped back.
Slinging the bow off my shoulder I pulled a feathered arrow from the sheath. I knocked it into the string; Steadily, nervously, I retracted my muscles back. The string dug at my fingers as I held it close to my ear.
I released and felt the arrow brush past as I followed my gaze. It skimmed the side of the tree landing on the ground beside it. I took a deep breath.
That's okay I didn't expect to get it on the first try. I closed my eyes and tried to relax to spite my tense back. I made shot after shot scratching the tree and making white marks on the sides as they skimmed it. I felt my fingers start to ache from the sweat of my palms along with forming red blisters.
Yet I kept at it until finally, finally, I had made the tree splinter with my arrows. The wood cracked letting the bark flake off with every hit. To me, it still wasn't perfect though.
I normally wasn't a perfectionist but this meant so much to me that I started to become one. In my point of view the arrows were either too high or too low; too far right or left.
Never were they perfect, but I kept at it till I was down to my last arrow. I had been out there for hours. The sky was darkening as the breeze of the evening swept my bangs.
I was tired but my stubbornness overrode that. My breath quickened as I pulled the string back. My arm shook in fatigue yet I forced it to steady. I held my breath and counted.
One... Two... Thr- My thoughts were sensed by a worried, Irritated, mad voice. " Helena! What the hell!" Jaren's voice cut the air like a knife and sweat dripped down my face in worry.
Without realizing I accidentally let go and shot the arrow in the air. Jaren marched to me every step felt like it made an earthquake. Before I knew it he was in front of me. " What in the heck did you think you were doing?! It's dangerous to have a weapon! You know that".
" That's only because you've nailed it my head the last fourteen years of my life!" He glares into my eyes as if he could read my soul." I've heard enough of this". He murmurs and takes a tight hold of my arm.
He ripped the bow from my hands and turned toured the house. Before he even stepped though the arrow came down quickly as though sealing my fate. It landed right in front of him. This seemed to only piss him off more.
" Jaren," I said hesitantly, " Will you at least look at what I've been doing out here?" He shook his head and tightened his grip to one that would, sure enough, leave a bruise.
I tried to pull away getting annoyed. " Stop it Helena I'm just protecting you". He stated sourly through gritted teeth. He dragged me back to the house in anger and slid the door shut locking it.
" You will not leave this house until I say otherwise this is for your own good". He stated and I sat on the couch crossed my arms and didn't make any eye contact.
I felt the cushions sink beside me. I didn't move. " Go away," I was so fed up with my brothers that I didn't even look to see who I was talking too.
" I know you're in a bad mood but this is for the best" Levi sighed.
" For the best?! You're the one that said I could prove myself! Was that just false hope? Because now I'm locked inside this stupid house where I'm going to waste my life!"
I screamed tears filled my eyes as I clenched my fist. " You also used our mother's bow Helena". Levi was still calm. " Maybe I would have known that If you guys told me about her". I stared back with venom and got up.
My face beat red in anger as I clenched my jaw. " So don't even talk to me about it". I walked down my hall ignoring the muffled sounds of his voice calling after me. I was so very mad at all of them and this fuelled my heartless thoughts.
I sat on my bed in discontent. I just... What? How am I to finish that? Want to prove I can do something? I can't because it's 'unsafe'. Want to know about my mother? Psh like anyone will tell me. See the world? How can I when my brothers will never listen!
" What's even the point?!" My voice screamed out loud. I Leaned back in defeat onto my bed only to crack my skull onto the window board. I felt hot, wet tears streamed down my cheeks. I bit my lip trying not to curse as a headache started to form from the throbbing.
Wait. My mind screeched. The window! I can go through the window! Even though my head throbbed in pain I couldn't help but break into a smile.
My mind rapidly was thinking of a plan. I'll need the bow... Oh and I'll pack stuff in my bag... Once I had thought everything I could think of through I slipped off my bed.
I'll leave at midnight. I thought. That should give me enough time to eat and rest. I sat on my knees and started to pack. Pencils, Paper, cloths, and a yin/yang symbol for balance. These were all things I took. I was sure that nature would provide food for me.
I looked back around my room. I'm Finally leaving. i'll be free. I can't believe it. I zipped up the bag and slid it under my desk. I could tell by the aroma in the air dinner would be soon and my stomach growled.
I stood up and opened the door to face my brothers. I walked down the hall. " So you're done sulking in your room?" Haru commented with a stupid smirk on his face. I felt my blood boil but quickly calmed realizing I wouldn't have to put up with my trouble-making brother much longer.
" Yes, actually I would like to set the table for dinner, considering If I didn't come out you would have had to, and that's such a hard job, especially for someone with so little brains".
This time I was the one with the smirk as Haru's face turned many different shades of red. I turned on my heel and went to set and serve for dinner. It was fried squid with sushi and salad.
Dinner just like breakfast was quiet. Haru did prayer and we ate. I had not noticed how hungry I was nor how much my body ached till that time though.
I ate quickly and was excused, Yet instead of going to my room I crept down the hall and creaked open Haru's. Unlike before the bow didn't lay beside his bed and instead hung high on the wall. Too high for me to reach. I narrowed my eyes and jumped knocking it off the stand.
As if in slow motion I caught it before it hit the wood floor and crept into my room. I then replaced it with a stick attached to whit yarn knowing Haru was too much of a numskull to check.
I then crept back into my room and stowed the bow away with my bag and laid my back on my bed closing my eyes for some much-needed rest.
As my mind wandered and the sky grew dark without my knowing someone came from the shadows and whispered their message they were played to deliver. One that altered my dreams for that night.
I stood in the tall forest surrounded by trees of all types and sizes. A woman who wore a western-style Comino and long silver hair shaped around her face stood a little were away. She looked at me a simple smile resting peacefully on her lips.
I felt the urge the need to run to this woman and embrace her. As though she was special to me and had been there my whole life. Was this... My mother?
Was she in the woods all along? I see her step to me slowly and hug me. A warm sensation filled my body as she stroked my hair oh so lovingly. Yes, This was my mother. This was what I wanted.
I felt my eyes flutter open only to be met with the darkness of the night. What a strange dream. My mind echoed as I replayed it in my head before getting up.
I slung the bag over my shoulder as It rested on my hip I grabbed the bow the wood feels so unique in my hand. I climbed back onto the bed and flipped open the latch of my window steadily.
My heart drummed against my chest quickly as I took a deep breath in and climbed into the night air. walking over to my shooting practice place I retrieved the arrows.
With them safely stored in my bed, I moved forward. The grass brushed my bare feet as I felt the hard trunks of trees leading me through that dark.
I felt fear start to creep into me. No, calm down. We're going to find my mother. A voice of stubbornness screamed. Under that though was a smaller voice telling me to turn back to the comfort of my home.
The house, The only place I had ever known. My feet moved forward. The anger from the last couple of days now seemed to be more present than ever. I moved forward keeping them in my mind so I wouldn't recall my fear.