Chereads / Irregular Feelings / Chapter 3 - Ch. 3 - Why did I do it

Chapter 3 - Ch. 3 - Why did I do it

Eugene's arm is placed right under Alex's chin, pinning her against the fridge. Alex turns her head to the side and with both hand pushes his arm up. She then slips away, turning back only to side kick him in the stomach.

"Would you stop doing that!" Alex shouts, standing her ground.

Eugene is hunched over gripping his middle. He moves one hand to the counter, to aide himself up right. Looking up with rage in his eyes. Eugene grits his teeth then growls "I was already in a bad mood... You shouldn't have done that sweetheart."

Noticing the sudden change in Eugene's manner, Alex turns to run. 'The hell am I doing! Antagonising a psychopath. Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t Sh*t!' Alex thinks sprinting to her room. She slams her bedroom door and stops for just a moment, catching her breath. That's before she hears the heavy feet of Eugene making their way up the stairs.

Fear spreads through her body, the worst of it burning in her chest. She stumbles and falls to the ground. Then crawls as fast as she can to her bathroom. As fast as her body would let her, the fear intensified when she hit the ground. The kind of fear that weakens every muscle in her body. Slowing her down at the worst time.

Making it to the bathroom and shutting the door, right before she heard her bedroom door swing open. Alex's arm is shaking as she tries, with all the remaining strength, to lock the door. Her fingertip touches the lock, turning it slightly. The handel is twisted down, undoing the halfway turned lock.

Alex can no longer move, not even able to bink. The only moment being made by her body is a slight tremor, radiating in her hands and feet. Eugene knocks the door in as much as he can, not realizing Alex is sitting right on the other side.

Eugene feels the door bounce back and now knows exactly where Alex is. Before acknowledging Alex's physical state he grabs her by the hair, and drags her into the middle of her room.

Sill holding her hair, in his hand, he lowers down and whispers. "Now why'd you go and have to kick me, huh?" Eugene waits for some kind of response, screaming, kicking, talking back, anything. He releases his grip from her head, and stands back. Alex falls to the ground hitting her head in the process.

Alex's breathing is barely noticeable. Eugene gets irritated, thinking its the same stunt she pulled in the truck. "You freaking opossum, wake up! I know your faking it. Get up!" He yells then kicks her in the side, not hard enough to do any damage. Nothing.

Eugene's face drops any signs of frustration and immediately shows signs of worry. Bending down on his knees he brushes the hair from Alex's face. "Hey." He says softly. Eugene moves his legs infront of him, into a uncompleted cross possession.

He picks up Alex's head and looks into her eyes, which are unresponsive. "Hey sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you this much." Eugene places her head back down. He looks around the room before standing back up. Taking just three steps towards her bed, he readjusts the pillows. Making them line the back board.

Eugene turns back around to lift Alex up. He places her on the middle of the bed before climbing on. Making himself comfortable, then leaning forward to grab Alex. Eugene leans Alex on top of him, with her laying on his chest in between both of his legs. He wraps his arms around her and places his chin on her head.

"Your okay, nothings going to happen. Your okay sweetheart. Your okay." Eugene explains in attempts to comfort her. "I'm sorry." Apologizes Eugene. "I wasn't going to do anything, I promise. I just wanted to scare you a little. Not this badly... I'm sorry."

Alex can hear only so many words break through the humming that has filled her ears. It's not caused by any physical injuries, it's just her bodies way of shutting down. Trying to trick itself into feeling safe.

Alex forgives him for scareing her, but really wishes he would stop entering her personal space. This was the main reason she was were she was now. Alex doesn't want Eugene to touch her, and yet she feels warm in his hold. Alex is comfortable but is at war with herself. She doesn't understand how she could hate something she wants so badly. Eugene pushing her around is one thing, but he's hugging her. Eugene is genuinely trying to comfort her and apologize.

Alex breathing changes from a clam, almost unnoticeable rhythm to a quick and rapid. "Calm down sweetheart. Your okay." Eugene repeats. Listening to his words, Alex's breathing changes once more. Taking in deap, slow breaths, and with each one growing more steady. "There you go." Eugene mumbles.

Alex soon falls asleep in Eugene's warm arms. He wants to move, but don't want to wake her. Eugene decides to stay trapped under Alex's sleeping body. He reaches over to her nightstand, making sure not to move as much as possible. Eugene grabs the book that Alex couldn't finish, and starts reading.

About thirty minutes go by, and Alex wakes to the vibration of Eugene's chest. He was laughing about something he read in the book. Alex looks up and asks "You didn't read ahead of me did you?"

Moving the book away so he could see Alex he responds "Don't worry im a slow reader." Alex smiles then requests "Read it to me."

Eugene is taken a back by Alex's decision to stay put. Then replies "Uh, sure." Alex looks forward and adjusts her head to a more comfortable position. Although she's read all these same lines before, she finds it more enjoyable being read to.

In the middle of Eugene reading, Alex interrupts "I can't figure you out."

"And you think I understand you?" Eugene states.

"I got to be a little easier to understand. You on the other hand..."

"Say it. Tell me what you think I am."

"That's the thing, I don't know you. I'm just basing my trust and thoughts on you, on things I've heard and things that have happened thus far."

Alex fiddles with her fingers.

"For a stranger, you sure got comfortable with me real quick."

Alex sits up and turns her head to look at Eugene. "Comfortable isn't the word for it. Exhausted is more like it."

"Exhausted? From what?" Eugene asks.

"Don't play dumb. I'd at least think your smart enough to know what it feels like in my shoes."

"Just like I am to you. You're a stranger, and there are so many things you've done that I didn't expect."

"Huh." Alex smiles. "At least I know I've still got the element of surprise on my side." She adds.

Eugene turns his body to the side and swings his feet off to the side of the bed. He then stands up, looking toward Alex. "Can I ask you something?" Eugene requests.

Alex looks up to him and hums in response, implying yes. "What did you want me to stop? Back in the kitchen you asked me to stop doing something. You know before everything went wrong."

"Oh um. I don't really appreciate it much when you pin me down. It's like your trying to control my every movement. I'd rather you not." Alex informes him before looking back to her hands.

Eugene moves a hand to his neck, scratching it. Not knowing what to say he attempts an apology of sorts. "Sorry, I didn't... uh. I won't do it again." He walks toward the door saying one more sorry before he leaves.

Though their motives are completely different, they are both confused about everything that's gone down, sence they met in the parking lot. Eugene was only looking for an escape, his freedom. He wanted to get out of the facility before he truly went insane. Then there's Alex, who's still wondering why she put herself in such a dangerous situation.

Alex lays on her bed trying to organize all the thoughts rushing through her head. She sits up and rests her forehead in her hands, before heading off to the shower. The shower always helped Alex settle her mind before a test, why not now. She stands in the shower letting the water beat her face.

'Why did I act so nonchalant, when I saw someone under my car. What was I thinking when I offered him a ride. Even after the alarms rang loudly from the building. Why in the hell, did I fall asleep around a dangerous maniac!' Alex ponders.

"I do really need those therapy lessons. Sessions!" Alex corrects herself. Alex leaves the bathroom scrunching her hair in a towel. She looks towards the night stand where she normally keeps a pile of hair ties. The takes notice of the book, the one thing that drew her out of the ward. Practically screaming for her to come home and read it, and yet ther it lay. Not making a single sound. Alex had no intention of reading it. Maybe it was because she had to much excitement to deal with now, and that was enough for her.

She grabs a hair tie and gathers her still damp hair into a ponytail. Finding so clean undergarments, then getting dressed in the exact same close as earlier. She then walks toward her door and proceeds downstairs.

Walking through the kitchen to the living room. 'Eugene must be in his room' guesses Alex. She sits down next to the fire place, on top of the  sheep wool rug. Making herself comfortable while taking in the soothing heat. She thinks back to her numerous sessions with her Aunt, and attempts to conjure Lynn's mind. Taking apart and searching for some advice Lynn had given her in the past, that could help her now.

Alex remembers so many different quotes, and words of advice Lynn had given her in the past. Being able to remember the words her aunt said is surprising to Alex. Especially sence she would block her out or intentionally try to ignore her, whenever Lynn brought up anything relating to feelings. Which was always. Though one line did come to mind, more of a question really. Alex's aunt had asked "What is your passion?"

At the time Alex didn't have one, and because of this she felt numb to the world. Alex was into watching TV and movies, but who isn't. Lynn noticed Alex ignoring reality, and had her move into the cabin to limit distraction, such as Television.

Moving into the cabin has been good for Alex, she has had time to reflect on herself. Alex found that she enjoys reading, and frequently visits the library. Every Sunday she stops by a local library.

Alex has been reading books for months now and she thought she found a passion. Looking back and thinking about it though, she figures it may just be another distraction. 'Because if it was truly my passion, wouldn't I want to share it with others?' Alex asked herself.

Alex wonders why she found such an interest in books. She thinks it is because they allow her to experience more feelings than reality does. Alex continues to brain storm and really dig deep into herself, in order to find something, an answer.

"What yah thinking about sweetheart?" Eugene asks. Alex was so lost in thought she didn't hear him. Eugene repeats himself, and Alex still doesn't acknowledge him. He walks over and crouches down next to her. Eugene was about to grab her shoulder to get her attention, but then remembers she not a fan of being touched. So instead he waves his hand in fort of her and asks "Alex can you hear me? Hello?"

Some how not realizing Eugene was in the room, and right next to her, she jumps a bit in surprise. With a smile and a embarrassed chuckle Alex says "Ah. You scared me."

"I have know idea how. I wasn't trying to be sneaky at all, I even asked you something when I entered the room. Eugene says.

"Oh sorry, lost in thought. What did you need?" Alex questions.

"No, I don't need anything. I was just trying to make conversation. I asked you what you were thinking about." Eugene makes clear.

"Oh. I was trying to figure myself out. About why I did certain things. What my reasoning was deep down."

"Dang, and I was trying to figure you out." Eugene smiles the continues "But how can I do that, when you don't even know yourself."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"I know this is out of the blue, but how old are you?"

"Thirty-eight and you?"

Alex is shocked and asks "Wait really?"

"No you goof. I'm twenty-six. Why do I look old? They don't have much in the way of skin care at the ward, but I didn't think I aged that much."

"You don't look old. I'm just gullible. I'm twenty, going on twenty-one in about a month."

"I'd say we should go out to celebrate, but my face is probably plastered all over the news."

"I don't think it is. Its a small town, and unless you escaped from prison, I think they rather keep things on the down low."

"Why don't you have a TV?" Eugene blurts out.

"Oh, um. The cabin didn't come with one."

"That's a dumb answer. Most places you move into don't have a TV already in them. Im asking why you didn't get one."

"This is my Aunt's cabin. Though it's under her name she says it's mine, so I still pay all the bills. And she didn't have a TV when I moved in." Alex explains.

"Okay, still didn't answer my question. Why didn't you buy one?" Eugene repeats.

"I moved here to get away from distractions. Yes I did want a TV at some point, but there were to many down sides. And along with it being a distraction, I can't afford it. Let alone cable." Alex states.

"What about credit cards?"

"Not an option, I firmly believe in no debt. I hate it. Hate money problems, and I've already got a tight enough budget. Hell, if my salary drops ill probably need to take up another job." Alex makes clear.

"Okay got it. Ima get you a TV one day. Now I know what to get for the birthday girl." Eugene smiles.

Alex smiles. "With what money." Alex scoffs.

"I have money. It's just a little hard to access at the moment."

"Hey! That's another word for being broke." Alex teases.

They fall silent for a moment. Then Alex starts on again. Asking "I'll have to check the news on you first. But do you want to go to the library with me tomorrow?"

Eugene thinks for a moment, then says "I don't think its a good idea. There are so many factors to think about when going out."

"There are no cameras, people are all at church on Sunday, and the only other person you would see, other than me, is Mrs. Fran, at the check out line. Mrs.Fran is a sweet lady but forgets who I am every time I come through, she's probably got Alzheimer's. Ssoooo?" Alex asks with puppie eyes.

"We'll see." Answers Eugene.

"Mmk, I'll take that as a yes." Alex smiles.

Eugene looks at the fire then back at Alex and referred back to the beginning of the conversation. "Did you ever figure it out?"

Alex lost, only because Eugene forgot she can't read minds. "Sorry, im going back to the beginning of our conversation. Did you figure out why you did it? Why you let me stowaway in your truck, without hesitation?"

Alex lowers her eyes and then looks back at Eugene. "I'm still not quite sure, but I do know it was a out of impulse. Like a subconscious reaction."

Eugene remains silent wanting Alex to go on. She picks up the hint and tries her best. "You know what I've noticed?"

Eugene responds with a huh. Then Alex continues "That what I wanted so much a day ago seems, unimportant today."

"Like what?"

"You know that book you read to me?"

"Yah."

"I was so desperate to fall into it as soon as I got home, and escape form reality. Then, the desired vanished when I saw you under my car. In that moment I didn't feel fear, I felt... excited."

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2774 words

I hope you enjoyed my story, and please point out any grammar errors that you see. I honestly don't care. If I can fix them, and make my story better, I will.

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