Alissa

It's true that sometimes I let my dreams and imagination get the best of me.

Seems like living in a fantasy world is

better than reality. Well my reality...

I know that I can't always be in the

clouds, I'm not always there.

Maybe if my imagination was my reality I'd love it here.

Life as I know it ain't easy.

To be honest being the type of person I am in my type of environment it will never be.

Not saying my life is all bad, I thank God for giving me life everyday I wake up.

But these trials get harder and harder everyday.

I'm Alissa Williams, I'm a 25yr old college student at UCLA in Los Angeles.

Business major.

I aspire to do a lot of things in life I'm just trying to get over these damn milestones.

I'm really to myself all the time, I don't have friends or a boyfriend...

Only because I take friendships and relationships too seriously.

More serious than others and I really don't have time for that hurt anymore.

It's not all bad being by myself.

I have my music, I write in my spare time, I guess I got comfortable in my own space , alone..

"Alissa wake yo ass up, or you gone be late for class.

You miss that bus you won't have a ride unless you got gas money."

I wake up to an angry mama everyday yelling at me, you would think all that would've stopped when I graduated high school.

"It's literally 5:00 in the morning ma the bus don't come till 7--"

"Did I ask for back talk? That's yo problem, get up NOW and that's my last time saying it.

Get your sister ready for school and make her breakfast I got an early shift.

Try to get some groceries on your way back home, or you not eating."

"I don't have no money how I'm supposed to---"

"Alissa, you're grown. That's not my problem, you'll figure it out."

This is the shit I be talking about.

My mom treat's me like she doesn't care about me but treat my younger sister like gold.

Atleast she doesn't have to go through it..

I'm grown but my whole life I've worked to help our situation and keep us together.

I've given everything..

That's why I'm still here..

"Ana, come on get up so I can do your hair and get you ready.

You can't miss the bus today! Let's go."

I hope and pray she don't grow up to be bitter, mean, nor evil.

Ana is 8, and she is literally the sweetest thing.

She's really the only reason I take most of the shit I take from my moms.

I turn on some music and start getting her ready.

One of my favorite songs by Marques Houston came on, Circle.

I sang the words as I combed Ana's hair putting it into two balls.

When I listen to music it takes me away from the bs of the world.

I start thinking about an alternate reality where my only problem is not being able to find what to wear or what guy I want to talk to.

Music definitely changes my mood, I'm happy, I feel love when I listen to music.

Finishing up putting her clothes on I made her some toast, eggs, and bacon before we walked out to the bus stop.

It's 6:30 her bus should be here any minute.

On the other hand I had to rush and get ready so I can catch the city bus at 7.

As she got on the bus I gave her a hug and kissed her on the forehead goodbye.

I ran in the house and rushed to brush my teeth and put on my clothes.

I can't eat because she would for sure say something about the food that's missing unless I brought some home.

Crazy right?

I've always had it hard like this, my dad never been in my life so it's always just been me and my mom.

"Shit!"

I yelled at the time being 6:55.

I grabbed my book bag, running out the house locking the door.

I ran to the bus stop as the city bus was approaching.

Barely made it, I had to catch the door with my hand.

"You almost missed me," the bus driver laughed. "Next time, be on time or you will miss me."

"Yea, yea, I'm here now." I said flipping her off.

I'm always into it with this lady because she thinks me running for the bus is funny.

Not knowing what I got to go through everyday. People are sick.

I made it to school at 7:45 and my first class started at 8.

It was music which was my favorite class by far. I wish I could it all day honestly.

Last semester the music teacher got fired for having sex with half the students and boosting their grades.

So now we have a different professor.

I had to wait last semester because everyone signed up, so I'm excited.

As class started I seen the new professor and lord he was heaven sent.

HE IS GORGEOUS!

He was a smooth and beautiful milk chocolate shade, dreads, elegant but different like he kept himself up.

It definitely looks like he doesn't play though.

"Goodmorning class, we gonna start off class with introducing ourselves.

I'll go first, my name is Christian Gooden, Mr. Gooden to you all.

I've been a music professor for 5 years now at 2 different colleges in LA.

I love to sing, meditate and adventure outdoors.

I'm looking forward to this semester, alot of different things are in place for you guys and hopefully this will be easy for me and you.

Now were going to start with the front row."

As the first person in the front started introducing themselves, I sat in a daze.

I've never been so amazed by a human being in my life, not even myself.

I didn't know how caught up I was staring that I was next for introduction.

"Ummm... I'm Alissa, I'm originally from philly I've only been here for a few years.

I like to listen to and write music and poetry, that's about it."

I talked high enough to be heard by the professor. I don't like much attention.

He looked at me as if he was intrigued and then moved his attention to the next person.

Through the rest of the time in class I watched him closely as he explained what he expected from us as a class.

I see this will be an interesting experience.

It's the end of class and everyone is dismissing themselves.

A few girls stayed behind trying to flirt.

How desperate.

Before I could exit Mr. Gooden dismissed the ladies that stayed behind and asked me to stay for a minute.

"I see that you were one of the students on the waiting list from last semester are you excited to finally take this course?"

He spoke and I couldn't do anything but look at his perfect features.

"Yea umm... I guess I am kind of excited I love music so uhh, yea.."

I mentally bashed myself for being so awkward.

"Well I'm excited to see you prosper.

If you're really serious about music we'll see about getting you in the advanced class.

See you tomorrow."

I nodded and walked out.

I headed to my next class in my thoughts.

For the first time in a while I'm excited to see what's next.