Gray-white mist covered the ground I couldn't see as I looked around, knowing that I had just completed my first jump. "Stellan!" I stage-whispered, although I wasn't sure why I was keeping my voice low. Here in the Inbetween, I could probably yell and scream, and it wouldn't make a difference. Speaking of which.... "Stellan!"
"My goodness, Tasha!" he said, walking through the mist. "There's no need to shout!"
"Stellan," I ran to him and he wrapped his warm arms around me, pulling me close, resting his head against mine. "Where were you?"
"I had to make sure that everyone we left behind was going to be okay," he replied, "and that we made a difference."
I pulled back to look into his eyes. "And did we?"
"Let's put it this way," he said, brushing the hair back away from my eyes. "We set them on the right path."
"Good," I replied. "Even though I won't be there to see it for myself, I hope we were able to make a difference in Shay's life."
Stellan smiled, tilting his head to the side. "We did." He sat down again, wrapping his arm around his knee, as if propping his foot on an invisible footstool.
I shrugged, looking around and then turned to face him. "So, what now?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Well, what did you learn?"
I imagined a chair setting across from Stellan and sat down, and it felt as if I were sitting on a real chair. "Well, I learned to be honest. But then again, Kent knew all along that Renn wasn't technically his, but in the end, it didn't matter to him. He wanted it that way. And Jack felt the same way, and Renn didn't seem any worse off for not knowing. So, I guess I also learned that family is not just blood. As Jack said, nearly anyone can be a sperm doner, but not everyone can be a good father... or parent." I sighed. "I just can't help but wonder if Renn would have been better off knowing my father, his real father, too. But then again, my father had no idea that Renn even existed."
"Do you think it would have been better for Renn to have grown up, being torn between two families?" Stellan asked.
I shook my head. "No, I guess not."
"What else did you learn?" Stellan asked.
"I don't know," I said, shaking my head. "I learned to trust."
He nodded, giving me a small smile. "How?"
I shrugged. "I learned to trust you and to trust my instincts. I'm also learning empathy for others and how to think of others and not so much myself."
He nodded, smiling. "So, are you ready for your next jump?"
A crease formed between my eyes. "Who chooses the jumps anyway?"
A broad smile spread across his face. "I do... unless someone higher up intervenes."
I scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. "So, there's a whole network of jumpers?"
He shrugged, smiling. "A small network."
I nodded. It was good to know that there were entities out there looking out for us. "So, where am I going next?" I was suddenly nervous about jumping again. Just when I had settled into my last jump, it was time to jump again. I wondered if it would always be this way.
Stellan's shoulders lifted. "You'll see." He raised his hands toward the sides of my head. "Now. Close your eyes and relax—"
"Wait!"
His hands froze. "What's wrong?"
"Besides the fact that I'm going to be someone else in a few minutes?"
He chuckled. "Yeah, besides that."
"Will you be there?" I raised my eyebrows, hopeful.
A smile lit his lips. "Always," he said, kindness filling his eyes. "Now. Close your eyes." Then he placed his hands on the sides of my head. "Now, relax."
Suddenly, I was floating up and then my body zoomed through the Space Time Continuum, as if being pulled like a magnet. To where? I had no idea. A moment later, I opened my eyes, and I couldn't believe it... for setting before me was the house had I grown up in. It was still standing. I looked down and I was holding a bike. It was summer and hot outside, and the kudzu that Dad constantly battled was growing outside in the drainage ditch, needing to be cut down again. But as soon did he cut it down, it grew right back. I hadn't even seen kudzu since I left Tennessee.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Tears sprang to my eyes when I realized I was back at my childhood house in Tennessee just days before... it happened. I looked down and I was in my own body as a child. "Don't tell me I'm going to have to relive this again!" Feeling like the child I was in my eight-year-old body, I laid down my prized bike, sat on the soft, green grass, wrapped my arms around my knobby knees, and cried.
Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder. "Don't cry, Tasha."
My head snapped up and it was Stellan.
"Why am I here?" I wailed, tears coursing down my cheeks. "Why do I have to relive this again?"
He tilted his head to the side, looking at me with kind eyes. "The only way you can move on and come to terms with it is to face it head on."
Then I stopped crying when reality set in. "I'm here... which means that my parents are still alive!" I stood and started running toward the house. "I can change things!"
Suddenly, Stellan was standing on the front wooden porch, blocking my way. "Tasha, you may not be able to change things."
"But I'm here!" I yelled. "Maybe I can! They don't have to die—"
"Tasha, sometimes things are beyond our control," Stellan replied, looking at me with kind eyes. "During this jump, I want you to remember that, despite our best efforts, sometimes we can't change fate."
I scoffed, stomping my foot. "Then why am I here?"
"You need to come to terms with what happened and put everything into perspective," Stellan replied. "You never had closure."
"But I can try and change things!" I tried to push past him, but he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. "But I can save them!"
"Tasha, use this time wisely," Stellan said. "Remember, also, that you can't say too much about the future or they will think you've gone crazy."
"I'm not afraid of that! It's a matter of life and death!" I screamed. "Now get out of my way!"
I tried to step around him, but Stellan stood in my way. "Tasha, on this jump, don't let your emotions get the better of you." He forced me to look into his eyes again, willing me to calm down. "Just promise me that no matter what happens, you'll put the past behind you from this day forward."
"Stellan, I'm dead," I said. "The past is already behind me."
He nodded. "Very well, then," he replied, and then stepped out of the way.
I quickly pushed open the door and ran inside, running through the house. "Mom?" I yelled, "Mom? Where are you?"
Mom walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel, wearing an apron as she always had. She was young and vibrant, just as I had remembered. "Tasha! What are you screaming about?" Then she looked out the front door. "Who were you talking to outside?"
I ran to her, slamming into her so hard that I nearly knocked us both down. But I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tightly, keeping her from falling as I buried my head in her stomach. "Mom! You're here!" Tears coursed down my cheeks as I held her, wishing that I never had to let go. At that moment, I realized that if nothing else, I had this time with my family… and I was going to make the most of it.