My reflection in the cracked mirror has changed. Should I be happy or sad about that? It's natural that we grew and matured, so I think that's a good thing. Standing in the middle of our living room and watching myself in the mirror all kinds of thoughts appeared in my mind. Most of them were questions with no answers.
Today I came there for the last time. House was sold and I wanted to see it once more.
Slowly I walked into my mom's room, going through her stuff. In here wardrobe only two dresses, old sweaters, and shoes. That is all that has left from her. So pitiful and sad. All her life was sad and painful, just I didn't realize that until I found a bunch of letters wrapped in a red silky scarf. All of them were from Italy. Sender: Giordano Maretti.Who was he? What kind of bond those two had?
I sat on the bed and took the envelope, which was the most open, and read: "Cara mia! This would be my last letter to you. I'm a married man now. Nothing can change that fact. You know this was my father's ultimatum. He would've disinherited me if I didn't obey his wish. Our family has a long tradition and status, so you can understand his point of view. I tried all I could to make him understand and to show him how much I love and care about you, but all in vain. He forced me to marry contessa Lara. Writing this I'm feeling how my heart is ripping apart, tears are in my eyes but I want you to stop waiting for me. There is no hope anymore, there is nothing left.....just a memory of us two together there on the beach under the sun... Cara mia our love was impossible from the start but we steal little of time and loved each other truly and purely. My last wish is for you to be happy. Please don't cry and listen to what I have to say. You have to move on and forgot everything. You have to try and live happily. I'm begging you not to be sad and hurt. I'm begging you to forget all. Only by knowing that you are happy and safe, I can live my life peacefully. This would be my last letter and my last wish. Thank you for all those happy moments you shared with me, I will keep them deep in my heart and only remember when I'm alone. I love you always. Yours Gio from here to eternity."
I stand up and walked out of my house, locking the door for the last time. I felt like I locked all my bad memories and carried only good ones with me.
Walking slowly I ended up at the beach looking at the blue sea.
- Here I am dear sea. It seems I always come to you when I'm sad or unhappy but this time my sadness is different. I can only be sad over my parent's destiny. Buzzing cut my thoughts. It was a message from Jun:"- Baby don't be sad I can feel your sadness all the way to here. You just close your eyes and imagine me hugging you."
I smiled at his words and closed my eyes lifting my head up, feeling the cold breeze caressing my cheeks. I felt his arms around me like they were really there.
- I love you baby...- soft whisper in my ear sounded too real!!... Opening my eyes I turned around and saw Jun standing behind me
- Jun you came here? But when? How?- He smiled widely at me
- I'm your black angel so I can fly if I want -he winked taking my hand
- Let's take a walk I'm starting to like this beach because only in this place a beautiful mermaid appeared before me- I laughed
- Yahh you cheese boy will you ever learn to talk like normal guys?- He grinned
- Who said they are normal and I'm not?
We were walking hand in hand while I was telling him what I have discovered about my parents.
- That is such a sad story... but I can't understand your father's deeds. He should've fought more and your mom hid the fact from him that she had you?- I shrug
- I guess you are right but we don't know how exactly they both felt, it could be many reasons...- He wraps his arm around my waist pulling me closer
- I just know I could not leave you. He pressed his lips against mine and around us waves crumbled onto the shore. In the distance, the sun was diving his face into the sea.
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It was a busy day at my work. I had so much to do. My feet were killing me but I didn't want to stop until I finish all my tasks. Mira was on the phone the whole morning talking with suppliers and Mr.Choi kept sending us reports of good delivery. Freedom's double concert was just around the corner, only two days have left. I was working with orders and with a stylist, seems she asked for me particularly.
Carrying boxes with shoes I entered their practice room. Boys hurried to help me with boxes
- Why didn't you call us to help you HyeMin?
- Jin scolded me gently. I smiled
- You are busy enough with practice and vocal rehearsals you don't need more work.
- Bobby took few boxes and gave them to others keeping one for himself. He sat on the floor while sweat was glistering on both sides of his temples. Others did the same and tried the shoes I brought for them. But someone was missing
- Jun is not here- Like he read my mind Jin smiled- He is still at the studio. I nodded
- ok then I will bring his shoes there. They waved and music start playing again with Henry's strict voice following the rhythm. I climb few steps heading to the studio. The smile was on my face while my heart was beating fast. I haven't seen him through the whole day and I missed him so much. I opened the door and entered inside. My eyes were still adjusting to the darkness but in the recording room was light so I could see clearly. I stopped halfway staring at the scene before me. Stella was hugging and kissing Jun! His hands were on her waist. The room started to spin around me and I made few steps backward. Box fell from my hands and that sound draw their attention. Jun pushed Stella running towards me
- HyeMin-ah!- he was breathless but all became blurry before my eyes then darkness came...
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Sound of the clock ticking echoed in my head. -Damn clock can't you stop ticking for a second I need to sleep... I'm so tired...
I opened my eyes slowly- Where am I? My eyes wandered around an unfamiliar room. It looked like someone's office and I was lying on the couch in the corner. Slowly I sat massaging my neck
- Why am I here? Then a picture from my memory hit me.
-Jun...- I whispered his name but it felt like every single letter stabbed my heart. it hurt so much...why does it hurt so much?
The door opened and he came in. I met his eyes full of worry. He kneels before me
- HyeMin are you alright? - I nodded looking away laughing inside at this situation. How can I be alright when my heart was bleeding? He took my hands forcing me to look at him again.
- That kiss... I didn't kiss her.. she hugged me suddenly and kissed...- I nodded
- I understand- it was a lie, I didn't understand a thing! How could I? My heart was wounded! He squeezed my hands
- HyeMin I didn't kiss here you have to believe me! - I nodded again
- I believe you...- Did I had another choice? I wanted to believe him and I needed to believe! Then I looked at his black eyes
-My black angel...-He hugged me tight
- I only love you, baby... I swear to my life! - My hands wrapped around his neck. I believe him! He is my life, my oxygen, my heartbeat... I believe him! He kissed me softly. When he moved away I saw tears in his eyes
- I thought I've lost you...Don't leave me, baby... I can't breathe without you. Then he sat beside me and I put my head on his lap
- I'm not leaving...I can't even if I want...
But pictures of him and Stella kissing were before my eyes through the whole day. I was trying so hard to push them away but when I least expected it would appear tormenting me. Does jealousy look like that or was that something else? Something like a bad omen appearing suddenly and painfully?
My bussy continued and I dug deeper just to keep my mind occupied. At the end of the day, the stylist called me to take Freedoms' clothes and bring them. So I took all heading to their practice room once again. They were sitting on the floor in a circle eating. Boys greeted me offering to sit with them. Henry gave me one plate and Charlie pass the chopstick. I was tired and smelling the food I realise how hungry I was so I started to eat. Jun was sitting next to me but we didn't talk. He was looking at my side profile but I kept my eyes on the food feeling awkward all of a sudden. The door opened and a flowery cloud of perfume touched my nostrils. I closed my eyes knowing who was the owner of that perfume- Stella!
She greeted all and sat next to Jun- of course where else right?!
- Honey give me the chopsticks-her voice was honey sweet. Before he answered Jin gave her instead. We continued to eat in silence but I felt all eyes on us three. I felt their worried looks towards me but I acted cool. Suddenly Stella started to laugh pointing at me
- HyeMin you look so funny, that red bean paste on your nose looks so adorable!
- I brushed my nose taking of a red stain
- Thank you...- I said quietly
- Ah what friends are for?- She was still laughing leaning on Jun's right arm
- She is so adorable honey, isn't she?- He get up collecting empty plates, putting them on the table in the corner, then he left the practice room without saying a word. She sat next to me
- My honey is so handsome!- I felt nauseous but I stayed calm. I'm not going to give her satisfaction to see how much her words hurt me.
- HyeMin do you want some more of this?- Jin was offering me more food
- No thank you, I'm good. Then Henry gets up
- Stella did you practice the steps I gave you yesterday?- She smiled innocently pouting her lips
- Ah you are so mean, always talk about work and practice. I can dance any step you give me so don't worry! - He nodded
- ok then you don't need my help at all... Good, I'm free then!- She gets up quickly following him outside
- Wait I didn't mean like that!- Bobby laughed
- She is so annoying!- Jin frowned
- Don't talk like that...- But Bobby giggled
- I don't care because she is really got on my nerves since day one! - I sigh
- You and me both Bobby- I thought with a secret smile which only he notices
- HyeMin come, I want to show you our new song but watch out! It's a big secret !!
- He took my hand and led me to the studio. We sat but he didn't play any song
- I wanted to tell you something, hope you don't mind I used this trick?- I smiled shaking my head
- What is it?- He was tapping with his fingers on the table
- That girl Stella.. she is unpredictable and it's better if you ignore her. She is just an attention seeker and you should not pay attention to her words.
-I lift my head cutting him
- I know Bobby but it's so hard to ignore her words when every single one is stabbing in my heart.
- His hand tap my shoulder- Jun is not a bad guy but I guess you know his situation so I think he must stay quiet and bear her... I wish I could help you more but I can't- I smiled
- You are helping me already. Your kind words mean a lot to me.- Then I get up
- I must go back to work, I have so much more to do. He waved and I left the studio. Passing through the corridor I heard voices. One door was half open and I heard Stella and Jun vices. She was hysterical
- If you choose that girl over me I swear my father will destroy your father and his company!!
- Stella don't act childish. What is the point of all this?!- His voice was cold but it sounded like he was restraining his anger
- I'm childish?! I just want you because I love you all my life and I have all the right to be jealous now!- He laughed
- That engagement means nothing, we were kids and why are you threatening me like that? You think I'm afraid of your words?
I couldn't listen anymore so I ran outside breathing heavily. My heart was beating fast and my hands were shaking
- What to do? Jun's father will suffer if he doesn't choose Stella. Ah, what shall I do?! How can I be with him knowing all that? His father's company has many employees, they all will end up in the street! Oh, I wish there is another solution...
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Later that evening I was alone in the apartment still thinking about what is right to do when I hear the doorbell. I opened it and saw a tall gentleman. He bowed
- I'm Jun's father. You are HyeMin right?- I nodded surprised
- Can we talk?- I let him in.
-You are probably wondering why am I here?- I nodded again while my hands were sweating and my heart pounded. He gets on his knees before me- I'm here to beg you to let go my Jun...
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