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D A Y 2 7 3 6 S.P
D A Y 1 1 4 6 S.A
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I've found comfort in the white room I woke up in around two weeks ago, no windows and a door I can lock easily. Inside this room I don't have to think about the monsters behind the walls, I don't have to worry about the sun getting in or what time of the day it is. This room is clearly made by hand as the walls are all sanded off and long overdue for another coat of white paint, which isn't really a priority here. The floor is an ugly mixture of colours such as green, brown and yellow and lino-like. Tiffany doesn't visit often, and I don't expect her to as she is the boss around here. She likes to make it her personal goal to accompany those in the clinic, it makes her feel more human. Although the last time we spoke she mentioned the lady who actually performed my amputation, she said the physical healing should take up to maximum eight weeks but I have the option to speak to another doctor about mental and emotion troubles. As that process would take a longer time to heal in most, I've felt this strange feeling in my right hand almost as if it was still there over the last few days. Phantom Sensations Tiffany would call it. Opal Su is her name, supposedly on a long trip around all of Alland to help those in need. 'Almost a better doctor than I am,' Tiffany would grin. 'She will be missed'.
She recommends my brother coming in to see me, and even Rosé to maybe better my mental health but I can't see how it's been affected by this loss at all. Or maybe it really has taken a toll on my emotions and thoughts, and I can't see it yet. Denial? I remember reading somewhere that the crazy, don't think they're crazy. It has been hard to sleep with this pain, but the worst of it all would be every time I'd close my eyes all I could see was the gun in my face. The sound it made when it fired, and the sight of my hand torn to pieces right in front of my eyes. The blood, the pain, and then the black. I saw a woman, someone who I haven't seen around here yet, or come visit me but I know she was there before I blacked out. I would sometimes hear Luka walk past, maybe visiting a patient or helping out Tiffany in the clinic. Sometimes Rosé would be with him. The two sounded so happy out there, I hadn't heard her laugh so joyfully since ages ago. I have a hunch I'm not supposed to be locking it, especially in a world such as now, but the people have been lenient here with me. Because I'm Angel's sister? Is he someone important here? He'd like to play hero now and then, he has a strong sense of 'main character' within him it'd be hard to tell when he is acting or not. That was then, anyway.
·
Weeks on end and I'm still not discharged from the clinic, this room is killing me slowly as my thoughts take over and all I can think of is talking to someone. Talking to Angel about everything. I don't feel sorry or pity for him, or Rosé. I just want to be able to talk. I haven't ran around anywhere enough to know what to one hundred percent to do out there. I want to talk about something. Is this a good time to finally leave? Do I even want to be here in Four? The constant thoughts of whether or not I should stay here weigh on me, and have been for a long time now. I don't even know how long I've been in here. I've been given food and water, sleep and medication for my arm and other wounds. I sometimes brush over with my fingers, the scar left on my shoulder and gaze down at the ones that are still healing on my left hand. Amusing thoughts such as my right hand crawling around and scaring others sometimes pop into my head, I've titled them 'me finally losing my marbles in this white room'.
A knock on the door breaks my train of thought into pieces and I flinch upwards ready to be confronted about something, anything at all. I'm ready. With my left hand I push off the white fabric off of my legs, they work fine. I use my right to lean back and sit up straight, only falling backwards and knocking my head onto the wall behind me. I cuss out the ability to not be able to adapt to this drastic change in my life, and hear a voice over the top of me. "Can I come in?" I recognise his voice. It's Andre, I wonder if Luka is with him, those two seem to be inseparable.
"Sure," I manage to breathe out, realising nodding won't do anything as he won't see me. A dark hand reaches through the gap between the door and the wall, and he pushes it to the side making a wide enough gap for him to slip in. This is the first time I'm alone with him, alone with anyone properly really.
"Sorry for the intrusion," he grins, dimples showing on each side and I watch as his head tilts to the side watching me. His eyes dart around quickly to find a place to sit. "Can I?" He gestures to the bed. Foolish me, I should've offered the spot to him first. He is also in a white hospital gown that ties around his waist tightly, but I spot blue baggy jeans poking out the end, and red rough-looking runners too, on the ends of his feet. Is he planning on leaving the clinic? I move my head around slightly to try and catch a glimpse of his hand, the one I saw when I got here. He was in front of me when that Barlie kid shot. When the rifle was right in front of me.
Just catching a glimpse of the white bandages firmly wrapped around his left hand, the same as mine, makes the memory pop right back into my head. Each scene perfectly displays in my head, like I am back there on that day.
He snaps be back out of it, almost as if he knew what was going through my head. "I'm Andre Pete, we've never had a proper introduction," he tucks two thick dreads behind both of his ears before continuing, I get a proper glimpse of his face, the way he looks at me is different now. More interested than anything, but not too curious. His eyes are a dark brown colour, almost black. Red surrounds his irises meaning he probably rubbed them before he got here, and he has smiling lines next to each eye, and his natural face sits in a content way. I'd always see myself as looking a bit mean whenever I relax my face, I guess that's why most don't like to approach me directly.
"Tianna Linkon," I say.
"Can I call you Tia?"
"No," I reply sternly out of habit, I didn't mean it. His eyes widen slightly but he can tell I didn't mean to blurt that out all of a sudden. He grins.
"Nervous huh, not to be weird or anything but I haven't seen you leave this room for almost two months."
"It's been that long?" I'm almost embarrassed.
"Its fine, I haven't gotten out as much as I'd like. You see, I'm one of Winterlen's searching teams. Finding food and supplies, basic zombie apocalypse survival things like that." Way to break it down to simply.
"Would you class those monsters as zombies?" I ask, something I've wanted to talk about for a while. These monsters don't exactly die and come back, like the ones in movies and stories do.
"We can only change when in direct touch of sunlight, but we're still fine when in the shadows during the day. It's really an impossible complex as the sun lights up everything around us, so I wonder why only in its direct view can we be affected." It takes me a moment to realise I am rambling, looking back up at Andre he doesn't lose his gaze on me.
"So you can talk," he snickers, I press my lips into a thin line feeling a little insecure. I only talk about outer-worldy things with Rosé, used to anyway. "Its fine," he reassures, "I usually talk to Luka about crazy things like alternate dimensions and time travel, to get my mind off of the world ending and all. Luka is my best friend, right hand man, brother. It's nice to meet someone with the same taste."
We sit for a little while, my sense of time is all messed up anyway so we could be here for hours. He talks about how it was seeing Angle, apparently he enforced the nickname Ang on him because it felt for manly, and that no one knew of his real name being Angel. So after I arrived and called him Angel, Tiffany had a joyful time exposing him. "I guess you'd like to know about how your brother is doing? Well, since you were taken I guess."
"Everyone seems to know about that here," I tried not to sound as glum as I did but to be fair being famous for being kidnapped isn't sometime I'd like to be known for. He shakes his head and explains that only the teams that's go outside of Four know.
"Angel made sure we all know what you looked like, whereabouts you were taken and what the thieves looked like. But the residents here didn't have a clue, to us you were like our main goal amongst all the little side tasks we'd take."
"You're just saying that to flatter me."
"You aren't wrong," he laughs, and I slightly grin at him to thank him for the mood change. Apparently Angel had taken a liking in crafting weapons and helping fortify the outskirts of the settlement, Winterlen is only recent so compared to the other settlements we are practically just a medieval old town you'd see in Viking movies, but more of a neighbourhood modern twist to it.
"So," he points down to the bandaged replicating his on the end of his left arm. "Twinning," he smiles.
"I'm glad you're okay with it," I grin. "My right hand of all."
"Yeah, it's okay," he shuffles around slightly on the end of the bed, sitting up straight and taking in a deep breathe ready to propose an idea. "Because this means we are in it together. No excuses to stop working hard. We'll practise tasks together with it, you'll learn how to use your left hand or even get your brother to fix you up a new right one."
So that's why he came in here, to team up with me and become 'amputee buddies'. "You guys wouldn't have the tech for that kind of stuff."
"It's never too early to start thinking of new ways to improve your life. Having no right hand doesn't mean you can't hold a gun."
"But it is still highly recommended that you wield it with your right hand.
"Yeah," he tilts his head side to side to think of another response. "You should learn how to be optimistic," he says out of the blue, knowing damn well that he has no idea who I am and where I was in the last three years. But he still said it. He still told me something I do know myself, but can't physically do. I've been taught to only think, I'm not allowed to speak or have an opinion. "Shit did that mansion really fuck me up that bad?" Again, another stupid thought said out loud. Except Andre doesn't speak or move, he waits for me to go on. "Sorry," I apologise.
"No," he gasps, "Don't be sorry!"
"Why?"
"Because I know one day you'll be able to talk about it. Whatever it is." The bed rises up as he moves to his feet. Andre Pete, a character that's willing to wait for someone he doesn't know, or dare get to know until he is allowed to know. "You look pretty tired, I hope I haven't bored you all this time," he laughs. "I'll leave you be now, it's nice to finally meet you Tia."
And with that he's gone, and the room suddenly feels so empty.
·
The awkward feeling of being back on the bench Rosé and I sat on two months ago fills the air, the memory of my slight anxious breakdown with her would've made her a bit upset. Then again I really shouldn't be acting like I know her, or my brother at that fact. In a world such as this, we've killed people. Monsters. Things like holding a gun and firing it can change a person drastically, which reminds me of the hunch I have to pay a visit to the boy who caused Andre and I's injury. It's hardly an injury anymore, just a fat ugly scar. Something I wouldn't say in front of Andre though, I'd probably offend him in some way. He seems way to calm about this, it'd be easy for him to adapt to it though as all he really needs is his right hand to survive. We never really got to talk about it a lot earlier, so I'm assuming it might be a tough subject on him. Maybe he isn't feeling too good about it either, and this optimism thing is really a cover for him. I need to stop overthinking things. Assuming things and start finding answers, but it all starts with a convocation.
I spot Rosé pacing past the entrance of the clinic towards the tall tower posted in front of the doorway. The centre post of the clinic, and two large plots of land used for residential needs and housing. The sky is dark but I can still see a hint of blue within it, but no stars just heavy clouds. It's bound to start snowing soon now that the fall season is finally wrapping up. Rosé comes from the south side of the settlement which is probably how she spotted me at the doorway that one time, forcing an unplanned convocation. Going up to her and apologising for my little outburst does seem like the right thing to do, but the time gap between then and now does seem a bit awkward.
Meeting her at the entrance of the metal box-like tower is Luka, opening the fence-like door and letting her in. Her hands are held together behind her back and she sways left to right as she enters. I can't help but be curious as to what those two are, possible love interests? Luka and Andre are basically brothers so maybe Andre knows, but the fact that he only brought up my brother as the one who still cared for me then. Not Rosé, she who was also there at the time. I'm overthinking things.
Winterlen is basically a giant rectangle that is overdue for an expansion sooner than later. The farm behind me signals that I'm sat in the left northern side of the settlement, and there is another farm similar to this one at the right corner, and a tower posted that can see over the wall. The two towers left and right of the northern gate I'm guessing are the gate's main protection from intruders, as I've spotted the ends of rifles pointing out of the little windows made to hide the rest of the gunman's body. Although there is still walking space on top of the walls, and sturdy metal ladders to get up and down. Running straight down into the settlement from the northern gate are plenty of housing and manmade built resident homes for normal survivors who just want to be fed and safe from the out, most of the elderly just sit on their porch and count their days hoping not to get the virus as well as not be touched by the sun's light. I haven't seen a single child wonder about and play, like most settlements have, to display the safety within the walls and guns. Something I'll have to ask about if I end up staying here any longer than I already have. In the centre of the large box of walls is a single well, that doesn't seem to be doing the job as teams like Andre's have to go out and scavenge for food and water and supplies. More vegetation and farms are scattered next to the east and west gats, and the south gate has posted an old motel used a lot before the pandemic had broken out. It being closed down and all, the people here have used to house more survivors and have let Tiffany have a room there as well. My brother has his own little barracks and weapon crafting area next to the south gate, knowing him he's probably like to call it a black smith of some sort. Then closer to the eastern gate there lies something I find awfully troubling to be kept inside of a 'safe zone'.
The pit. Surrounding by more housing, but also a giant crater-like hole in the ground full of monsters. Just the easier ones to kill though. Reasons for them being there are unknown, but the people here don't seem to be bothered by it. It's the equivalent to living next to the highway, constant noise and sounds making it hard to sleep. Although most are quite, to obtain stealth out in the world. There are few monsters who just scream their lungs out for the hell of it, attracting more of them who sometimes even kill each other just to create silence. They like silence. I guess driving all of humanity into the night has made only the night loud, compared to the old days where we would all be most active during the daytime, but things change.
"No movement all day, are you gonna be alright on guard tonight?"
"Yeah of course."
"Remember, they won't be running around like they do during the day. But it doesn't mean they can't. Keep quiet and stay sharp, the last thing we want to happen is encounter a person.
The convocation between two men wake me up a little, and I snap my head towards the loud metal cranking sound the gate makes as it opens. A slight breeze pushes a few dead leaves and dust into the gates, and is met with five tall figures who ready up to leave. The two men speaking on the wall notice as well, and I look up at them to get a better view of the two guards. "They're late, probably gonna stay out until sun rise to make up for it."
"Yeah that team loves to push it, they'll get themselves killed sooner or later."
One man is on the heavier side and is dressed in a large amount of strange fabric that hangs down his waist, ankles and collar. He wears a red straw hat, probably made by himself or the farmers and carries a long gun strapped around his back. The leather strap would probably choke him out if he got stuck in it. With the help of the giant post lamp posted between the cornered watch tower and garden, I can catch the long scrubby beard that hands from his face down to his chest. His orange hair sticks out like the bottom of a Christmas tree, and he is due for some sleep with the looks of his eye-bags. His friend, I'm guessing the newer guard seeing how straight his posture is and the determined look in his eye is. He looks incredibly young like he just started secondary school, not a single hair on his face but the shiny brown locks curling upwards towards the sky. I don't think that he's a kid though, despite his young looking self his height makes up for his baby face. He has on simple coverage, a dark brown hoody and low hanging jeans that fold over his boots. No hat but large doe eyes that can probably see in the dark.
Now my attention is diverted to the people leaving, probably one of the teams Andre is involved in. It's darker near the gate, probably not to attract any monsters camping out on the other side. The two men above me split off and the younger man moves over towards the top of the gate, keeping his gun taken off of the older man to watch the outside of the gate to make sure nothing gets in or that the team is attacked. I hear the monotone voices of two females and two men, all just mutters really.
Watching them leave seems to be the top entertainment here, as I'm not the only one watching. People's faces stick out of windows and balconies to watch them leave, nerves and whispering fill the air. 'Being in that white room made me forget how scary it can be out there', I tell myself all the time just to keep down the fear I have of people. People have choices in their actions, monsters do not. So why do people hurt others?
"You're actually outside," Andre smiles, hands held behind his back as he walks out from the entrance of the clinic towards me.
"Are you following me?"
"Well to be far, you followed me first." He takes a sit next to me and I turn back to watch the team at the gate, but the gate's already closing and the five figures are nowhere to be seen. The young man on top of the wall is still making sure they leave without being followed or attacked, and the older daggier man strolls aimlessly past the garden towards the tower posted in front of the clinic.
"I saw Luka in there," I point, thinking maybe that is who he is looking for.
"Ah, did you see Rosé as well?" I nod and he clicks his tong. "Two people blinded by love, they use to tower for privacy. Best not to distract them. We watch as the older man knocks repeatedly on the wall next to the fence-like door, calling out for someone to answer. Laughter erupts in the tower and Luka answers him, trying to calm him down and Rosé follows not long after.
"They must be swapping out with the old guy, you can go see them now, I guess."
"Trying to get rid of me, I see." This man is impossible, although I have to admit his company isn't the worst thing ever. His hand raises into the sky and he waves his best friend down, Rosé's head perking up and smiling at me as well. Luka's face lightens up to see us both outside and the two walk over.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even see you here when I walked past," Rosé scratches the back of her head and she sits down in the last spot on the bench next to me.
"How are you, brother," Luka smiles down at his friend and the two shake hands.
"Alright, look we are twinning." Hearing him say that two times in one day, is two times too many. He raises his left arm to my right and I feel a pit of embarrassment fill within me.
"Glad to see you two are recovering well."
"It's surprising that we are even granted this time to heal," Andre grins to himself.
"Well we need you back on the elite team so you'll have all the time in the world, I'm just glad it wasn't your right hand." Luka's gaze awkwardly stare down at me and I let out an anxious sigh.
"I've taken up too much time in the clinic, sorry."
"No don't be sorry," Andre tries to reassure me.
Rosé continues, "Ang requested you have more time to get better, he didn't want you to get any infection or anything. Plus there's been people staying there for way longer than just eight weeks."
"If you two are here then who did Ang leave with before?" Andre asks changing the topic, I turn my head back to the gate and realise my brother must've been the silent one. The elite team must have Ang, Rosé, Luka and Andre in it, which explains how we got out of that situation in the forest.
"Ang took tonight to go train some more kids," Luka says, "I'm pretty sure that Barlie kid is in there as well."
I sit in silence as they talk about him, the boy who shot Andre and I. The reason for him being searched for, was because he ran away on his own. Waiting for the eastern gate to open so he could quickly slip out. His reasoning explained to Tiffany was that he was sick of staying inside every day, he wanted to be a hunter like the teams are, and wanted to help the settlement. There has been a poultry shortage for a while but with Angel training more kids to hunt, that problem seems to be recovering well. "What's happening to the kids here?" I ask.
Rosé rubs her arms together in the cold and the two boys stay silent. "Let's go for a walk."
Knowing the settlement's layout is piss easy as there are maps drawn all of the walls on each building, but seeing the carefully constructed designs used to fortify this place is beautiful. Portable huts built like snow-globes are scattered around in different dark colours, and there are large tents with wooden beams to obtain stability. Wooden huts are built and beautifully lit by golden lanterns and there are empty barrels set alight for more lighting on pathways and roads. Walking down the dirt path in a white gown makes me stick out like a sore thumb, Andre has somehow adapted to his outfit and pulled up his white gown to show more of his jeans and shoes. We walk through wondering crowds and lively people who'd just woken up from their sleep during the day, but still there is no sight of children playing or getting in trouble.
I look over to Rosé pretty side profile, the light glowing across her face and her hair blowing forward as the wind slowly picks up. "First snow should be soon, if my self-made calendar is correct," Luka snickers, digging into his pockets to find his work.
"It'll only get colder from here," Andre gazes around the crowds of people who search for warm clothing at small side-home markets people have made. The real marketing area is placed by the pit, small plazas here and there that trade food for clothing and clothing for food.
"Winterlen has always had three rules," Rosé starts. "Honesty, no gunfire inside of the walls and all children under the age of 16 must stay inside at all times."
"Except for the winter," Andre corrects.
"Yeah except there isn't much to do outside in the snow nowadays so most stay inside all year round. Those who turn sixteen are granted permission to start working, become a guard or become someone who scavenges for the settlement. It's that simple."
"So that Barlie kid, how old is he?" I ask.
Luka brings a finger to his temple. "The one who went out with Ang? He turns sixteen in a couple months."
"The only reason why he's allowed to train is if only Ang teaches him, and because he's one of the only kids here who've seen the freaks outside. How he used that gun? How he got it?," Andre chokes for a second. "Is beyond me, but he isn't allowed contact with the other kids and is bunking with your brother too, I'm pretty sure."
"So he's got a follower."
"Something like that."
The night is quiet outside, the only loud noise created is from the chatter amongst people. Discussing about their long painful sleep during the day, their low iron and Vitamin D levels due to the lack of sunlight. I've heard people complain about how Winterlen's shipment of Vitamin supplements are late as well. "That college settlement north-east from here is currently feuding with the Hillside settlement again, for reasons we are unaware of, as we haven't gotten the chance to talk to any of their survivors. At least us and Two are keeping up with supply runs."
All four settlements have a mutual agreement to have regular trades with each other to simply keep the peace. Most are reliant on Three's work as they have a bigger land mass and the place is just better. Little camps and safe zones made my smaller groups of people usually have to beg settlements to trade with them, making deals that are never on going. I guess it's up to them if they want to survive on their own and start their own little world themselves. Then again that's how Four came to be, and the other settlements. We are all just survivors, and the ones who don't like being a part of big communities such as ours, usually are the untrustworthy ones, they keep too many secrets and find it hard to lead a whole community on their own.
"The raiders are getting pretty close," I overhear guards talking. Rosé's eye brow cawks upward and she stops the boys chattering away in the night, to listen to a potential problem.
"He's from one of the hunting teams," Rosé whispers to me.
"Did he say raiders?" Andre and Luka finally pitch in.
"Yeah I've heard, your team was the one to find their camps right?" another man says.
The only thing dividing us from them is a circle of women having a little motherly chat about raising kids in the darkness. Two posts on both sides of us, and a stack of three large boxes that say 'wheat' on each side. We move in close to the mothers club happening and I can get a small glimpse of the two guards. One is dark and his hair is almost memorising, long black and red dreads decorated with materials such as feathers and beads. It would've taken hours to create such a display. His uniform is casual, but from the machete placed in its scabbard and strong build he probably is in a hunting team as well. The second man, is the old bearded one who stood with the boy on top of the northern wall.
"Yes that's me, there are camps surrounding the entirety of this joint, probably going to come knocking on our door soon."
"Surely you were rewarded for finding these camps?"
"No, not at all," the bearded man states in frustration, "Tiffany hasn't even heard of this news yet." I can feel my heart racing, as the faces of all three of those hiding with me drop and look more angered than concerned. "There could be bandits among us as we speak, probably listening in right now. I need to get Tiffany alone, in private," he hangs onto that last word, almost inappropriately and I feel my skin crawl. Rosé's arms snap back and she pulls out a blade from her boot, marching through the group of mothers and facing the two men.
Her hands stretch out and she latches onto the old man, one hand holding on tightly to the oily hair hanging down from his face, and the other holding the blade close to his throat. She wraps her sleeve around the knife to make it look less threatening to the crowd around us, but people still stare eagerly. "What's going on here?!" His lip quavers, that snarky look from before fading away completely, convincing the watchers around us that he is innocent. Heck he could've convinced me as well. His friend backs up slightly, spinning around and darting off into the crowd of lively people near the well.
"Luka, go get him!" Rosé demands. This is a side I've never seen before, she's fearless. Ready to cut him down just by one wrong word coming from his mouth. Luka hesitates for a second before nodding to himself and running towards where the darker man went. Andre meets me at my side, sensing the slight confusion in my face.
"He said he was going to tell Tif in private," he questions.
"His last trip out of the walls was three weeks ago, Andre!" Rosé snarls back, she looks up at the man dead in the eye. Despite her shortness the knife makes up for her dainty self. "It's been three weeks and not even the elite team knows of this info, why are you hiding it!?"
"You're from the elite team?" he take a second to get a good glimpse of all of us. "You were listening in on us, huh? You guys are probably the bandits, huh?! I never found a single person in any of the camps out there, but here they are, right inside of the walls." The crowd around us grows tense, I can feel the tension growing between these survivors and us right now, and I can tell we are losing.
"We aren't the bandits and you know it! Don't be an idiot!" Rosé growls.
"The fact that he's pinning the blame on people even he knows, aren't the enemy…" I say calmly, Rosé catches on and places the knife back into her scabbard. Andre gives me a smile of approval and parts my shoulder with his right hand, stretching over his chest awkwardly.
"We'll ask you more questions when Tiffany hears of this, right now we need to get away from the crowds," Rosé orders and she tries to get behind the man but he starts fighting back. His body jolting around and jumping, he gets out of her grasp and Andre jumps in. Obviously finding it hard to move as his left arm rises in attempt to grab him with nothing. The man starts moving quickly towards the crowd and Rosé and Andre start sprinting towards him, we can't afford for him to get away. Until suddenly all stops in silence and the only thing heard is the click of a gun being loaded, no firing is aloud within the walls so picking that sound up is rare.
"Don't move!" a giant figure, stood firmly in his spot on the dirt road. Two hands holding a pistol aimed directly at the big bearded man, he stops in his tracks and recognises the man's voice. The thick Kageane accent and deep voice makes everyone but Rosé and Andre stop, as they grab onto the man and snatch a pair of cuffs kept on an approaching guard who hear the commotion. Luka holding the second culprit's hands tied behind his back, approach the same Kagaene man from the clinic when I woke up, from behind and together the two get taken towards the closest tower to be confined. "Oh!" The Kagaene man smiles in surprise. "You're finally out of the clinic!" His voice echoes across the road and he puts his gun back into the holster strapped to his belt, holding up the large heavy looking camo cargo pants. His white tank top exposes his wide Pidgeon like chest, this man despite the end of the world occurring, probably never missed gym day.