You're beautiful ,no I am not .you're intelligent nah I am the stupidest human in the world. You're strong no ,I am weaker than a child. There are many people around you,but I am alone ; they will never leave you, no they will broke their promise and leave me . They love you you should love them back I can't I am just feeling less . You should cry but I can't feel anything . No you're sad yeah I am but I am too sad to cry . Maybe they will survive, I am sure they will leave me alone . Maybe someone will help them, come on everybody care just for himself. You're asking what is this? Is she crazy?it's okay I understand. That was a dialogue between me and me while I am staring at my burning house my parents are inside, oh sorry !i didn't tell you who am I . I am Angelique Maynard morningstar it's a long name , I know . The firefighters are coming out right now ,they bring the corpses of my parents with them .I can't cry but I wanna to. I became an orphan, again they look at me with the worst look, why they don't understand that I don't need their pity .I am in the floor look at nothing ,they took the rest of my parents in the ambulance to the central hospital.we were a happy family my dad was a teacher and my mom was a dentist we were leaving in a beautiful house in the best city I was the 1 st in my class I am so happy and satisfying my life now or that what I was
15 September:my birthday ; but
It is also the obsequies of my parents . I lost myself again, I lost everything again , I will return to the orphanage. I will back to the hell. Everything has been finished, all of the family back to their houses, I am alone. Now ,I am in the car, going to the orphanage again woow it's destiny !!.....
I am entering into my jail, they took me to the office of the director, he looked at me and said :(you again are you in love with this place )
- nothing I didn't say anything
-( this girl pushing problem like a magneto) he told his new helpmate ;then they laughed together , he kicked me out and I just went to the garden, I stayed on the top of the long tree it is like my secret place. I am remembering my parents, my real parents
flashback
My mom was called katten she was so pretty I saw her in the pictures she was so feminine and elegant , my dad Maynard blackgrey ,he was the example of the perfect man handsome tall and strong. They fall in love with each other, they were the cutest and the best couple. They get married and live together in a beautiful home full of love . until she knew that she was pregnant, it was the happiest day in their life,< that what I had read in her diary > ; when she gave me birth she left that life . She left me with a careless and depressed father. He never cared about me but, I loved him . when I returned to the house with lots of wounds, he just was looking at me, like we are strangers he never asked me about my marks about my friends however I never had . Until one day I was 9 years old. I was so happy because I got the best mark ,I was waiting for him ,I thought that maybe he will love me. I was alone in the house, I heart the door, I opened it, I found a policeman he looked at me
p.m[policeman]-(is this is mr. Maynard'house? )
Me-( yes it's sir )why he is here
P.m-( is there are any old people in that house little girl?)
Me-( no; only me) I am afraid (but my dad will arrive so soon)
P.m-(Are you his daughter sweetie?)
Me- is he is stupid ( yes ,I am!.....where's dad?...is he okay?....did you hurt him?tell me ...!!!)I was screaming at his face
P.m-(sorry daughter!, your father went to a better place he is with many good people) he was sad he could not even look in my eyes
Me-(you mean he died, he left me too he is a liar) I was in a horrible situation I wish that this was a nightmare and I will wake up now
P.m-(....he is in the sky)..
Dad please wake me up I will be a good girl I swear
Me-(come on!! I am not a child ;I know he is dead ,I will never see him again no no no that is not trueyou are lyingall of you lying)
He didn't say anything he just looked at me he was surprised. That day, my heart broke to millions of pieces, I lost it I lost my fillings when I was 9 y.o; I lost everything dad ,however I never feel him ;my beautiful home and myself.
end of flashback
Wooow!! my life is the worst it's like a drama film ;but that was only the beginning; I didn't have, the family of my parents never visited me they didn't knowabout me .So , I went to the orphanage or I think I should call it the hell .....
First day in the orphanage I am so lonely I am in a horrible situation. No one want to talk with me they all ignore me sometimes I just feel like I am a ghost or maybe invisible.....
Now I am on the top of the tree in the garden it is the place where I meet my old parents . Oh actually I also used to see the other children while they were playing with their friends or their family
"Family " it is a really beautiful word I never felt it.
I am looking at the new children here they are kind cute but I still don't like them
12:25 : it is lunch time
All the children are running to eat because here there is not enough food to every one ( you run , you eat) it is like a rule.I did not go to eat I feel disgusting, I really hate that place I want leave it for forever
18:15 : it's dinner time
I am in the table with the other orphans ...there is no sound all are silent
20:20 sleep time
everyone in his bed or something look like a bed
00:45
I am awake I could not sleep because I have insomnia I only sleep 2 hours as maximum I am in the edge of the window....I am looking at the moon and suddenly I saw a boy really ???
what is he doing now I will see by myself
I went to the garden
me-( hey boy ! what are you doing here)
he is in my secret place
the boy was surprised but he look at me-(it is not your business)
me_(really?!...it's my place....you should go )
the boy -( okay don't be angry)
me -(I am not)
the boy-(well I am sedrrick Smith I am new here) he is sad
me-( whatever you can go now) I hate talking to others
the boy-( but I want to talk with you)
me-(I don't)
the boy -( let's be friends, I really like your personality common please I really want that common please please please please please please)
he is so talkative and annoying I can't ignore him because he still talking
me -(if I be your friend will you leave me????)
the boy -( no I can't....friends don't leave each others)
me -( so I hate talking)
he -( you will listen to me)
me-( I am..) he cut me
he -( you are perfect okay??!!)
me -( okay,....)
he -( now we are friends let's start from the beginning I am sedrrick Smith and you)
me -( I am Angelique Maynard morningstar)
he -( nice to meet you)
me -(thanks me too)
2:21
me -(I will go goodnight)
he -( goodnight)
6:40 breakfasts time
we all in the table I also see sedrrick
he doesn't have friends same as me
the director-( Morningstar and Smith today is the first day in your new school)
sedrric -( okay but why did not you tell us yesterday)
the director-( I did not want to)
me -( you did it so be silent what is the time of school)
the director-( 7:50 you should be there)
me -( okay)
I go to my room , change my clothes and I am ready my hair is too long and I want to cut it I will do later
7:15 me and sedrrick and other children are waiting for the school bus
it comes I set beside the window and sedrrick beside me
sedrrick _( goodmorning pretty girl)
me- ( goodmorning mr Smith)
sedrrick -( whattttttttttt really mr. Smith I am your friend you should call me by my name)
me -( really??!! should I call you sedrrick)
sedrrick-( of course no others call me that but you no)
me-( okay okay what about sed???)
sed-( it's a wonderful name and I will call you Anne or Ange)
me -( okay as you want friend) woooow I am laughing