It wasn't raining like in most movies I've seen. It wasn't dreary, cloudy, or snowy. It was a warm June day, partly cloudy. I wonder if Raylee would have liked it? I wish it was raining. Snowbird didn't leave right away as we thought she would, she stayed for the funeral. She stood beside me, a safe enough distance away, in a black dress the Blackbird's had made. I wore Blackbird clothes too, that's all I noticed. The coffin wasn't anything fancy like Grandma's was, it was an ordinary cedar box with a pile of wildflowers on top of the closed lid. Would she have liked them? I don't know, I don't even know her favorite flower! I only knew her for at least a week, not enough time to get to know your older sister. The Blackbird's didn't produce chairs for the event, we all stood in a crowd before the coffin and the tree she would be buried by. Even if they would've brought out chairs I wouldn't know what color, she never told me her favorite color. I would assume it would be purple, like most Sparkies, but she wasn't most Sparkies. Maybe she would have hated purple because her powers were the reason she suffered and eventually died. I don't know why there's a crowd of Blackbird's here. They didn't know her, the only people who should be here are me, Snowbird and Bit, or Finch as she calls herself now.
There was no music, it was silent and respectful except for the happy chirping of birds. How could they be so happy today? What is there to be happy about? A Blackbird man, the Lead Warrior if I'm not mistaken, takes the casket spray of wildflowers and hands the bunch to me. I take them and split it between Finch, who's crying on my left, and Snowbird who's standing frozen on my right. I'm careful not to touch her fingers when she takes them. A group of men grab the casket and start carefully lowering it into the hole in the ground they dug. Why is everything so tacky? I look at Finch.
"Usually, the Blackbird way is to burn their dead. They're doing this for you since you didn't want to cremate her." I don't reply, I appreciate what they're doing but I wish they'd never had to. After Raylee is laying at the bottom of the hole, the scary woman walks to the front. She has a horrific scar on the side of her face.
"We did not know you, Raylee Damini but we know people who did. May you rest in peace." She looks at me to see if I want to say anything, I shake my head no. She nods in understanding and the Blackbird's start to clear out so that we may help bury her. I reach my calloused hands into the soft, cool, Earth, and watch as Snowbird and Finch do the same. Am I the only one without a bird name? That thought brings me back to Raylee's question about if I'm staying with the bird people, my answer is yes. I don't want to go home and see my family and act like nothing is wrong. I don't want to see them and I don't know how long I'm going to feel this way. We finish throwing dirt on the coffin and step back, Finch grabs my hand and I almost grab Snowbird's as well.
"I'm sorry," She tells me,
"I'm sorry too."
I want all of this to go away, I want it to stop. I want to sleep and not wake up, I don't want to deal with this pain. Bracing myself, I grab Snowbird's hand and don't let go.
"Crynn!" She screeches, "What are you doing?! Stop! No! Let go!" I feel like a part of me is being ripped out but I don't scream. I only let go when my numb body falls onto the grass and Snowbird is rubbing her face and chanting unintelligible words. Actually, all words sound unintelligible to me right now, and I love it. I watch as a strand of my purple hair darkens into an inky black. I welcome the darkness.