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Time does not heal all wounds. It only teaches us how to live with the pain.
"Yo, kyongno. It's been a while."
Half shout- whispered voice chirped much to my displeasure. I tried to direct my attention on anything but him.
Even the two fire ants from a random corner of the room opposite us seemed very interesting.
He called louder but again I ignored hearing anything till he decided to greet me -finally had enough from the silent treatment- with different tactic and elbowed me. On the side. Hard.
"The Bloody Hell yA FUCKIN WANT!?" My voice came out louder than I intended to. Oops.
All eyes on me. Silently judging that the weirdo have spoken.
Just great, more fucking attention.
The look did the trick for them to mind their own shit. Everyone except the smirking devil, the unwanted creature in front of me.
"I suffer from a selective hearing disorder. I couldn't hear what people I despise say." With all seriousness, I said.
"Glad you still got your humor intact."
The white-blonde guy lean towards close to my ear. "It's one of your best traits, Kyongno~"
Showing his trade mark dazzling smile that manipulated half of the population of mortals to fall in that trap, leaks with mischief tells me he'll be bugging around till the end of the day. I hope.
I pushed him by his pulse with my index before saying "Sour in my mouth."
Can someone move the bucket here?
I never liked Jewel nor his stupid petnames. He totally sucks at it.
"The world is separated by light and darkness; good and evil."
Our PD professor said but isn't it kind of absurd to divide humans into good and bad? Everyone is the same and that's no exceptions.
We're all equal before God.
"As we grow up, we gradually became aware of all the things in the external world which are largely beyond our ability to control."
On the background he continues while I sit there while rage builds inside me.
Nice and neatly like pyramid of dynamite rods being piled up.
I want to shout it out loud and rub logic in his face till he suffocate from shame.
But let's all review these facts;
A. I'm in school,
B. Participating in class,
C. B is a lie.
"Thoughts and feelings triggers into action are some of these that could be the source of much distress."
I yawned. Can you blame me if the lessons are so boring to the point I don't remember our professor's name?
The class was ended by the ring of the bell. Everyone left for lunch but me. Oddly a question that is related on class kept running in my head.
'Are we really powerless to manipulate our own maladaptive self?'
I went straight to Nadedja's for lunch right after loosing him in the corridor. I'm not a martyr person who would voluntarily suffer death from boredom in that depressing gloomy building.
Nadedja opened the door and let out something pitch, furry and familiar.
"Great timing Laz. I made lunch!" A bubbly greenette said. Not again.
It was a cat. Not just any feline but I recognize that white diamond on its nape. Mitsuhide the Devil's pride and joy demon.
"By the way, you have a visitor."
I'm doomed.
Sitting on the couch, a frustrated ash blonde male but that awful expression wiped instantly as we made eye contact.
The carbon copy of Lucifer is smiling at me.
I'm offended.
When there's a Devil, Lucifer is near by. Of course.. why didn't I realized it sooner? Jewel must have left Mitsuhide by the door so that Gavinn can't roam around. He hates that cat the way I hate seeing him right now. In a heart beat I shut the door. Unfortunately he caught and stopped it by foot.
Literally his foot.
Dead silence slice through atoms in the air before disturbed by him. "Ow!" He grunt in pain hopping for not wearing any shoe.
And the thought Gavinn is the smart one.
I want to get away from him as far as possible but my nostrils suggest otherwise. My hunger was stronger than my will to leave and I ended up sitting in the table with them.
I swallowed a couple of times secretly but rehydrating this way is useless. It only worsen the cold sweat trickling down the side of my face. Ironic.
I wiped some of it off and tasted salty claustrophobic. The perfect normal reaction when your in a tiny room with closed windows.
It felt like waiting for your execution, if you're wondering.
I know Gavinn prepared the meal that's why I'm praying he poisoned it so I could skip the part where we need to communicate. I just can't believe she let him in the kitchen! Last time I was there looking for fork she threw a butcher knife at me. Just because I set the school lab on fire doesn't mean I'll burn the kitchen too.
Technically I do, consider the fact that both dorks are basically cat nip for the ladies, except Gavinn's attitude contradicting his features, this response is expected to any women with raging hormones.
The lunch was good but I couldn't taste the flavors. The cloud of tension must have absorbed all of it. Only utensils clacking where making noises. Even Nadedja sip from her glass more often, forgetting it ran out of content few minutes ago.
She opened her mouth but stopped. The repeated action reminds me the prize gold fish in the carnival. Only with more hair and monkey ass cheeks kind of gold fish.
Few awkward minutes later she left for refill and someone decided to break the ice.
"Would it kill you to look at me?"
My ears are blind and Satan baths in rainbows. I bit the insides of my lower lip to swallow the words that aren't supposed to be heard by the public and it tastes bacon with a hint of tangy iron.
"I'm just protecting you Lazuli." He sighed.
"I need your food. Not your opinion."
Concern vanished but it wasn't replaced with anger then his face paled with regret.
"Stop biting your lip." He place his thumb on my lower lip. "It's bleeding.." he say, gently wiping the liquid off.
I hate arguing at the dinner table. The one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
"You're not my father." I looked away and stood up. "Don't tell me what to do."
I hate this feeling.
He took the chance to grab my wrist. Caught off guard I knocked the glass in the process.
I stared at how the water spill and run across the table, dripping down the covers and made contact with the floor.
Wave of nostalgia swept through me. Tranquil yet deafening. I don't like it.
"What I need is distance. Not you."
Harshly I pulled my wrist back before glaring daggers at him.
The ever so familiar expression stayed on his face. Hurt.
One day you're a child who's happy you manage to survive on a family of perfectionists.
The next day you're assigned with a physician and a social worker and given the choice, to be adopted or be an orphan with no one.
Tough choice but at least you got some nice relatives to help you out- too bad they doesn't know you existed.
After they both died from a plane crash I was left alone against the harsh reality.
I couldn't remember how I got in the hospital nor why we where having this kind of conversation.
"A guy can walk away from it."
"Females can have abortion either."
"It's not the same thing." Gap dong deadpanned.
"If you want this to be over with you have to cooperate." Han sweat dropped.
"So..would you marry a stranger out of responsibility as form of self-punishment?"
"I guess." He said.
"Committing yourself to another human being for the rest of your mortal life is just stupid as drinking a poison and waiting for other person to die."
Han enjoyed our debate. Nothing out of the usual.
"Is that how you see marriage, Lazuli?"
"How should I know? I'm twelve." I told him with a 'duh' tone. Gap dong is the guy from the social welfare.
"Any relatives?" Han asked me again.
"My Mother doesn't have any family. Father's family won't have anything to do with me either." Who would want some defective kid to sully their family name?
I know im supposed to say "I'm sorry" or "it's not like that" but o couldn't think straight the moment my stomach started to heave three seconds ago. Instead of apologising to Gavinn, I left and didn't look back.
I slammed my locker shut and started to pull the bag of letters dragging them across the long silent hallway that shall be fill with laughter, calls and shouting noises later.
Honestly they should stop sending them.
"Whatcha got there? Is it a body?"
Great. He found me.
"Some people really are persistent huh?" Look who's talking.
"Oh don't look at me like that. I'm just paying you a visit is all. Donno why Gavy is here thou"
"Yeah, I wonder why.." I deadpanned to him controlling myself not to kick this guy's ass.
I stared at him thinking if I can paper cut him till he die from blood lost but before I could pick an envelope from the bag he motion me to walk beside him.
Café Craze is slow this afternoon but just a minute with this guy drives me to the edge.
"What did the poor fork even do to you?" Jewel sympathetically watched the now bend fork in my left hand.
"My index slipped."
This excuse is the same lame old one that came up in my mind when the guest room got burn.
I let the utensil drop on the floor. They have someone to pick it up later. Jewel gave his cup a last sip before fixing his gaze on me the way Gavinn did after the door collapsed and a half naked woman jumped down the window behind him while I stood there like an idiot, clutching a silver pin.
I wonder if that lady knew that window is in the third floor of the manor.
"You still with that Lewandowski chick?"
Even though I know the answer, I still asked just to make a small talk as I played with the cup.
"That gym coach fling was a drag." He rolled his eyes, whining.
"Most relationship doesn't work out." Absentmindedly I say.
Pun not intended yet the idiot broke into a goofy smile. Shit. I forgot who I was talking with.
"You're such a complainer." I corrected but words can't be unsaid.
Smile turned into smirk.
"Since when am I not?~" He lean in.
There are plenty of times when I wanted to snap his neck then bash his head on the table.
I shifted my eyes for the same reason in class earlier. I have some active imagination that is too vile even for the corrupted society we live in.
Chair. Ceiling. Counter. A walking platinum hedgehog behind sunset pigmented octopus. Wall. Some punks on the next booth. The glass door. Anything but Gakuen Jewel Choi.
His teal iris are like empty void of nothingness that if you make an eye contact with them you'll be drowned in hypnosis and forget about his devil horns. I'm willing to bet Mitsuhide on the line that Triton is still upset with me. Not for accidentally set his house on fire but for intruding in the LAME room down the basement.
How was I supposed to tell a ball from a hand grenade?
I was twelve,
and a half but still you get the point.