Ye Ming opened his eyes in a daze. He turned over and yawned, and suddenly heard a shriek from the side.
"The Young Master is awake! The Young Master is awake!"
"Hurry, tell Master and Madam, the Young Master has finally awakened!"
Ye Ming was startled to full alertness as he sat up on the bed. In front of him was a little maid who was gaping at him foolishly.
[Ye Ming: I'm home! Bro, why didn't you tell me tell me earlier? That really gave me a fright!]
[888: Weren't you fully expecting Li ZeChen to send you home? A day in advance, a day later, what's the difference? Do you still need me to alert you to it? What's more, isn't it more exciting this way, it's a nice surprise no? Your responses would also be a lot more realistic.]
[Ye Ming: ...]
[888: I like seeing this expression of yours the most, hehe.]
This System of his has been corrupted by bad influences!
In the blink of an eye, Ye Ming's room was filled with people. With an innocently puzzled expression, he looked at his parents, his siblings, and the servants by his side, just like someone who had just woken from an ordinary sleep.
Among them, Madam Qi looked deeply moved. With tears streaming down her face, she pulled Ye Ming into a hug as she choked out, "My son, you're finally awake..."
The sight of her grief birthed feelings of guilt within Ye Ming. He said softly, "I'm alright."
Madam Qi wiped at her reddened eyes. "You've been unconscious for several months, we thought... we thought you..."
Infected by her sorrow, Ye Ming reached out and hugged her gently. "I'm sorry, I've made you worry, your son was not filial."
Prime Minister Qi was also somewhat emotional. He sighed and said, "It's good that you're awake, it's good that you're awake."
{T/N: 太傅 (Tài fù) – Grand Tutor, one of the three highest ranking officials in ancient China, known collectively as the Three Ducal Ministers. They consist of the the Grand Preceptor, Grand Tutor and Grand Protector.}
Shortly after, a physician came and took Ye Ming's pulse, before pronouncing him healthy. Everything is fine now that he has woken up.
After having confirmed that Ye Ming is well, the crowd that had gathered in the room slowly dispersed. Madam Qi repeatedly reminded Ye Ming to rest well and to not think too much, before reluctantly taking her leave.
Ye Ming respectfully saw his mother out, then finally said, "Zi Zhu stays, the rest of you may leave."
{T/N: Riiight, I think the author messed up here. In chapter 35, she was known as Zi Huan (紫环), but here in this chapter, she is called Zi Zhu (紫珠).}
Zi Zhu waited until the rest of the maids and servants have left before closing the doors. Like nothing has changed, she spoke respectfully, "Young Master, what are your orders?"
Ye Ming looked at her quietly, his brows lightly furrowed.
Since that day when Li ZeChen had brought him back home, he had known that Zi Zhu was someone that Li ZeChen had specifically left by his side. She herself also knew that her identity had long been exposed, but her demeanor remained the same as before, quiet and shrewd.
{T/N: Quick recap, in chapter 35, LZC took YM back to his home in the Qi residence at night to meet his body double, where they were greeted by this maidservant, which was when YM found out that she was a spy sent by LZC.}
Ye Ming's voice was cold. "Have you nothing to say to me?"
This maid had been the closest to him, but then it turned out that she was a spy sent to watch him. Even if she harbored no malice, he still could not permit this sort of thing to continue.
Zi Zhu's voice remained calm and steady. "This servant was sent by His Majesty to protect the Young Master. In front of the Young Master, this servant is but your maid, this servant would never harm the Young Master."
Ye Ming said, "But your Master is not me."
Zi Zhu knelt down and said, "If the Young Master does not wish to keep this servant, this servant will leave."
Ye Ming did not want to keep a spy sent by Li ZeChen by his side at all, doing so would only make him uncomfortable. But he looked at Zi Zhu thoughtfully for a moment, then asked, "Where will you go after leaving?"
Zi Zhu replied, "This servant has been a disgrace, and can only return to receive one's punishment. As a death warrior whose identity has been exposed, this servant would be rightfully executed."
{T/N: 死士 (Sǐ shì) – an elite soldier who does not fear death; specially trained and used to engage in suicide attacks or for the protection of important people. Missions generally entail very low survival chances.}
Not a single plea left her lips, her expression was as calm and collected as one discussing the weather. She has long ago embraced the notion of death.
But Ye Ming's expression changed.
Zi Zhu has served him for many years. She had been a steadfast presence by his side, always calm and quiet and reliable. Ye Ming had placed much of his trust in her, which made the revelation of her identity all that much harder for him to accept without any stirrings of anger. He could drive her out, but if that meant a severe punishment or even death for her, he couldn't bear to do so... after all, there were still some lingering feelings of sentiment, and she had never once done him harm.
Ye Ming's eyes revealed an intense struggle with himself. After a long moment, he finally sighed. "Never mind, you may remain here."
If Li ZeChen really does mean to continue coercing him, there is no need for him to do so using this maidservant. Having her stay or leave would make no difference, in the end, it all depended on Li ZeChen's intent.
A glimmer of surprise and joy finally shone in Zi Zhu's eyes. Clearly, she had not held any hope that Ye Ming would allow her to stay. She knocked her head hard against the ground in fervent gratitude. "Thank you, Young Master."
Ye Ming waved her away tiredly. "You may leave, I wish to rest.��
.........
The next day, Ye Ming rose early and went to visit his mother.
Madam Qi was beaming with happiness at the sight of Ye Ming. She held on to his hand and did not once let go. She had been on edge the whole night before, deeply afraid that once she wakes up, her son would meet with another misfortune. Seeing him now whole and healthy, she was finally able to lay her worries to rest.
Ye Ming tilted his head in thought for a moment, then asked, "Mother... I have been unconscious for so long. Has my cousin and her family been displeased?" As he spoke, his expression was suffused with guilt. He had originally been preparing to marry his cousin, but that had all been overturned in the blink of an eye...
{T/N: Reminder, his ex-fiancee Zuo YiFang is his maternal younger cousin.}
When Madam Qi heard him, her expression changed. She hesitated, then said, "You need not worry about this, they will not say anything..."
Ye Ming said again, "How can I not worry? I have done my cousin wrong, I am prepared to fix a wedding date and personally plead for forgiveness from the Zuo family."
Madam Qi gripped his hand and patted it, then sighed and said softly, "My son... the Zuo family no longer exists, there will be no wedding, you need not go see them."
Ye Ming looked dumbfounded. "What do you mean?"
Madam Qi said, "A few months ago, the former Crown Prince attempted to stage a rebellion. He was killed by His Majesty, and those who had assisted him had their homes searched and their possessions seized. This act of treason, the Zuo family was also involved... to scheme against the throne is an unpardonable crime... ai, when all is said and done, calling off the wedding was a blessing in disguise, else our family would also have been implicated."
Fear lingered on her face as she spoke. Although she grieved for the Zuo family, they absolutely must stay clear from any possible involvement with the heinous crime.
Ye Ming had finally turned pale with fright. He was obviously aware of the Crown Prince's plot, but he had not expected the Zuo family to have also been assisting the Crown Prince. He stammered in shock, "Is-is this true?"
Madam Qi nodded. "The outside is still in a state of unrest. You have been unconscious, so you were not aware... after all, our family once had plans to be engaged to the Zuo family and had close ties with them. Although we were fortunate enough to not have been implicated, we still need to be prudent and be cautious with our words in the future. We cannot allow ourselves to be the subject of gossip."
Ye Ming understood the reasoning for this. Even though their family is innocent, if anyone had a mind to turn this matter against them in an attack, it would be injurious to his father's career and place their family in danger.
Even though Ye Ming knows that Li ZeChen would not harm his family, careless words and brash actions should still be avoided.
He worried for Zuo YiFang the most. He believed YiFang to be innocent, but she has been convicted for the crimes of her family...
Madam Qi knew that her son held tender feelings for his younger cousin, and was honest and kindhearted. She could not bring herself to persuade him any further, and said, "Don't think too much, this is not something we can intervene in. It is all fated."
Ye Ming's expression was conflicted, and his mood seemed uneasy. After sitting for a while longer, he left.
[888: You're really acting out the full play down to the last detail.]
[Ye Ming: But of course. After all, logically I'm not supposed to know about all that's been going on outside. If I really knew everything that's happened, that's just too fake right? I wouldn't make such a newbie mistake. Plus, Li ZeChen's snitch is still by my side.]
[Ye Ming: He had no choice but to let me go, he'd definitely be thirsting for news of my every action whilst reminiscing of our past love ^__^]
[888: ...]
...…��
After spending a period of time at home to rest, he returned to the Imperial Hanlin Academy. His days resumed its undisturbed tranquility. Asides from not having gotten married, his time was spent in much the same way as before.
[T/N: The Hanlin Academy was an academic and administrative institution founded in the eighth-century Tang China by Emperor Xuanzong in Chang'an. Membership in the academy was confined to an elite group of scholars, who performed secretarial and literary tasks for the court.]
His friends and colleagues greeted his return with invitations to dine and drink and gossip. Ye Ming remained profoundly unenthusiastic towards these offers, and his mind wandered often. Those who saw him in a daze would joke about his entire year being an entire series of misfortunes, from falling ill due to some strange sickness, to a perfectly good fiancee turning into a sinner.
Ye Ming would often fall silent, looking somewhat sad whenever this matter was brought up.
Time went on, and on the surface at least, peace seemed to have settled.
Ye Ming had no chance to meet Li ZeChen. His status was not yet qualified enough to permit him entry into the Imperial Court. Although they resided in the same city, after leaving the Imperial Palace, the distance between them was equivalent to that between the Earth and the Sky.
[888: You can't even catch a glimpse of Li ZeChen's face now, but you don't seem worried at all?]
[Ye Ming: No need to worry, if I want to see him, it's as simple as snapping my fingers. Don't forget that his spy is still at my side. As long as I say the word, he's sure to turn up any minute. He's only staying away because he's worried that showing up would make things difficult for me.]
[888: But Mister White Lotus, would you be shameless enough to summon him over?]
[T/N: White lotus is a term used for those Holy Mary love heals the world types]
[Ye Ming: Relax, even if I don't summon him, he'll definitely come~]
[Ye Ming: I bet he won't be able to stay away for long. Even if we can't be lovers, we can still be friends right? ^__^]
Madam Qi would go to the Hanshui Temple every month to burn incense. Ye Ming occasionally accompanied her.
He didn't have anything going on during this time, so he volunteered to go together with Madam Qi. Madam Qi was very happy to have her son accompany her. Conveniently, she could also discuss the matter of engagement with the Madams of other families. Their group set off early in the morning.
When everyone arrived at Hanshui Temple, Madam Qi and the womenfolk of the other families went to the other side to light incense, while Ye Ming remained in the courtyard on the opposite end.
Although there were usually not many people at this time, it was particularly empty today.
Ye Ming wandered through the plum orchard and didn't see a single person. He knew his mother wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, so he might as well come out for a walk and enjoy the scenery. The Hanshui Temple was situated on the summit of the mountain, and clouds and mist curled around it. The scenery was exquisite; many scholars and poets had written poems dedicated to this place.
In the past, when Li Zechen was not yet emperor, he had come here together with him.
The more he walked, the deeper he went. In the distance, he saw a black-clothed figure. Ye Ming assumed it was another worshiper, but who would've thought that when the figure turned around and gazed deeply at him, it was actually Li Zechen!
Ye Ming's footsteps halted at once, and the expression on his face became complicated.
Every day, Li Zechen listened to his subordinates report Ye Ming's news, big or small, and with great difficulty, resisted the urge to see him. Until today, when he heard that he was going to Hanshui Temple, and he couldn't resist the urge any longer. He headed over.
He just wanted to see him.
Ye Ming stood in place and watched as Li Zechen walked closer, step by step. Although they had only been separated for a short time, he had the inexplicable feeling that it had been a lifetime ago.
"Your Majesty…" Seeing that Li Zechen had already arrived before him, Ye Ming finally brought back his attention. He was about to kneel and make his greetings, but Li Zechen grasped his arm.
Li Zechen bent and supported Ye Ming. He could feel his arm through his clothing. It felt as if there was some kind of compulsion spreading from where they were touching. The immense yearning made him itch to directly gather this person into his embrace, but in the end, he still managed to restrain himself.
If he continued to indulge in his desires, he would only shatter the peace that they had finally established with such difficulty. He didn't want to see that happen.
"There is no one else here. Wen Qing does not need to worry. Just pretend I'm not the emperor." Li Zechen slowly released his grip, smiling slightly. "We once drank together and chatted merrily, walking through the snow to view the flowering plums, so…just pretend it's still as it was before, alright?"
Ye Ming remained silent for some time. There were some things that couldn't return to the way they had been in the past despite saying so, but since this was the emperor's command, he said respectfully, "Chen obeys."
Li Zechen's smile grew a little bitter. How could he not understand this principle? But these days, the one thing he could hold out his hopes for was to be able to interact with this person as they had in the past. At the very least, they had been able to be friends…they had gone through so much, even this form of interaction had already become a luxury.
He softly said to Ye Ming, "Why don't you drink a cup of wine with me?"
Li Zechen turned around and arrived at a stone table before sitting down. On the table was a jar of wine. He smiled slightly and said, "We haven't sat down and drunk wine together like this for a long time."
Ye Ming sat down, smiled a little, and lowered his eyes to hide the nostalgia in them.
They'd once been very good friends who hid practically nothing from each other. They could trust and rely on one another....but in the end, from the day Li Zechen became emperor, everything changed.
The two people regarded each other silently, just drinking cup after cup of wine.
The wine wasn't very strong, but after drinking a few cups of it, Ye Ming's cheeks and the tips of his ears became slightly flushed.
Li Zechen looked at the person before him somewhat infatuatedly, reluctant to leave. But in this world, there was no banquet that wouldn't come to an end. He ultimately could not stay here. Li Zechen's jaw was clenched and his voice hoarse. "I will be leaving now. Is there anything else you want to say to me?"
Ye Ming pursed his lips. His eyes revealed a look of struggle and hesitation, but he remained silent.
He was always anxious these days. There was indeed something he wanted to beseech Li Zechen about, but the request was truly a bit excessive. How could he use Li Zechen's feelings for him?
But Li Zechen smiled a little. He paid constant attention to Ye Ming; how could he not know what he was anxious about? He said straightforwardly, "If Wen Qing is worried about Zuo Yifang's situation, zhen has already pardoned her."
Ye Ming suddenly looked up, gazing at him as if he were afraid to believe it.
Although Li Zechen was smiling as he said this, no one knew how painful it was for him to make this decision. As long as you are happy, then leave all the pain and reluctance to me to bear alone.i
Li Zechen said slowly, "Although she's the daughter of a sinner, and her status is not suitable for you, zhen can have her change her appearance and once again grandly bestow a marriage to you. Would you like that?"
Ye Ming was finally shocked; his lip trembled. "Your Majesty…"
Li Zechen gazed into his eyes, "Zhen owes you too much…as long as you want for something, you can tell it all to zhen, and zhen will grant it to you."
Ye Ming looked moved. Li Zechen had always been very good to him, granting his every wish, but at the time, he'd been required to stay by his side. Whereas now…he could even tell him he would bestow him a marriage…
At that moment, he was convinced that Li Zechen had truly let him go. The last thread of apprehension in his heart completely dissipated.
It was instead replaced by guilt toward Li Zechen…He was bearing the emperor's grace. Li Zechen was the emperor. Whomever he wanted alive would live; whomever he wanted dead would die. Why would he need to go to this extent?
He didn't have to be so good to him at all.
Ye Ming was silent for a long time. He said, "That isn't necessary…knowing she is alright is enough."
After going through so much, how could he marry the woman he loved with an unburdened heart? After all, he was no longer the same Ye Ming from the past. How could the pain brought to him by those experiences be erased just because he said so?
He and Li Zechen could not return to the past. Neither could he and Zuo Yifang.
Everything was still the same, but people had changed.
Li Zechen was silent for some time. He said, "If you change your mind, you can have Zi Zhu tell zhen."
When he finished speaking, he turned around and left.
Sorry, although I cannot make up for the mistakes of the past, I still want to do my best to do some things for you…
Actually, I should have realized this earlier and understood that love should not be plundering and possessing, but that it would be enough just to see that you are well. But at that time, I went astray because of my misjudgment and committed wrongs.
This is the one thing that I regret most in my entire life.
[Ding, Li Zechen's blackening value -5, current blackening value 5]
Ye Ming watched Li Zechen's back as he left. After a while longer, he finally left as well.
Soon, Madam Qi also came out, and the two of them returned home together.
Although the marriage with the Zuo family was dropped, Ye Ming was now conscious and should still marry a wife and have children. Thus, Madam Qi once again busied herself with taking part in all kinds of social gatherings, intending to arrange another suitable marriage.
Toward this, Ye Ming did not express opposition nor enthusiasm. He complied with all of his parents' arrangements.
......
[Ye Ming: The poor heart of a parent. Even if I return to ancient times, I still can't escape being urged to marry, ai…]
[888: Then what are you planning to do?]
[Ye Ming: Mix it cold. Anyway, I won't be able to marry, hehe.]
[Ye Ming: Our emperor is really a self-restrained, unwavering person. Once he makes a decision, he'll stick with it. If he says he'll let me go, it'll really be like he's letting go. To be honest, if it weren't for the affection value, I would've thought he had let go.]
[888: Isn't this what you want? Putting in effort for such a long time was so he would let go.]
[Ye Ming: It's right to let go, but how is it okay for us to not even meet? No matter how good I am, I still can't affect his blacking value with the imperial palace between us. Wronged.jpg]
[888: Hehe.]
[Ye Ming: There's no other way. It's time to let him know how frightening a woman can be once blackened!]
[888: ???]
[Ye Ming: Big brother, you don't know just what kind of terrifying and extremely powerful existence human women are! Truthfully, the worst the emperor did wasn't to forcefully marry me, but to marry a harem of women without taking them to bed! Although being an imperial concubine in ancient times is also considered a type of job, even if they don't want the emperor's doting, they'd usually still be able to sleep with the emperor on occasion, have a child, and continue to scuffle in the palace, right? Li Zechen wouldn't even give them that bit of hope. A bored, reproachful boudoir woman is very scary!]
[888: Are you referring to Imperial Concubine Liang? She does hate you a lot.]
[Ye Ming: Back when I was in the palace, she hated me to death and couldn't do anything to me. Now I've left the palace, but Li Zechen still won't spare them a glance. Before, if there wasn't any hope, then fine. But now, there was my situation, and as a result, they were spurned by Li Zechen again. How could they possibly bear it anymore? As long as she's made aware of my identity, she definitely won't hesitate to retaliate against me for all of it. If something happens to me, then won't the emperor have another chance to see me? ^_^]
[888:…] This spicy chicken was going to court disaster again.
[888: How do you plan on letting her know?]
[Ye Ming: I don't need to do anything at all. That year, when I was the crown prince's study companion, I was constantly going in and out of the imperial palace. Although I didn't enter the harem back then, there were still palace maids and eunuchs that recognized me. Imperial Concubine Liang's eyes and ears are everywhere. Sooner or later, she'll find out my identity. Although Li Zechen is in control of the imperial palace and won't give them the chance to spread the secret, if a woman becomes so frenzied she no longer cares if she lives or dies, it'll be pretty hard to say…if it really becomes necessary, big brother, why don't you just lend her a hand?]
[888: Are you sure you want to do this? An arrow can't be retrieved after it's been shot.]
[Ye Ming: There's no secret in this world that lasts forever~]
[888: …]
Ye Ming continued passing the days according to routine. He wasn't in a hurry. After a long time, he heard that Imperial Concubine Liang returned home to visit her parents.
Rumors quietly spread among the aristocratic ladies.
Finally, one day when Madam Qi returned home, she hatefully slammed the table, saying angrily, "Madam He is truly an intolerable bully! A mere fifth-rank official's wife dares speak to me so strangely!"
Madam Qi had always been good-natured, and she never flattered her superiors while treading on her subordinates. She was well-mannered even toward a beggar. For her say such a thing, it was clear she had been fiercely angered. Ye Ming also happened to be at home and gingerly poured her a cup of tea, soothing her, "Mother, don't be so agitated. Why don't you drink a cup of tea?"
Madam Qi took the tea and drank it in one go, but she still became angrier the more she thought about it. She said furiously, "I saw that her family has a third daughter of an appropriate age, who's virtuous and gentle, so I chatted with her some more. I was thinking that if she's suitable, she'd be a pretty good option. In the end, it doesn't matter if her family status is a bit low. The important thing is character…but guess what she said? She said that you were the one the emperor took a liking to, someone who could climb into the dragon bed, and she and her daughter couldn't afford to social climb through you. What kind of words are those?!"
As she spoke, she was so angry she slammed the teacup onto the table, and the tea splashed out. Her chest continued heave. "Truly ridiculous! They would actually humiliate you like this!"
Madam Qi turned her head and only saw Ye Ming standing there, complexion deathly pale, body tottering, and she couldn't help change her agitated expression. Now she couldn't even bother being angry, anxiously asking, "What happened to you? Could it be that you're feeling ill?"