"Zyrah prepare snacks, your friends are here" I heard my older sister shout so I quickly got out of bed and went down to the living room. Even though my mind was confused and I didn't feel good,I still tried to see them even for the last time
"Oh I miss you girl" Arnica said and immediately wrapped her arms around my body.
"Excuse me oh" Keisha said while hugging Arnica and me
Their tight hugs eased a little from the weight of how I feel now. We went to the living room and I sat them down first while I prepared our snacks. I don't know if we will still live here in Manila so I will make the most of the rest of the time. I do for them.
I got bread and chips in our fridge as well as the cold water I took there including a packet of orange juice
Tss. Orange juice, I don't know if I'll laugh or be annoyed by the memories surrounding this drink. We used to fight a lot then and once he poured orange juice on me so I had to change my clothes and nothing got worse. We stopped fighting. But I can only be sure of one thing now, those memories that I still have with him will never be repeated.
I put a pitcher of mixed orange juice and our food on the table. I told them first to take those glass forgot to bring earlier. As I was walking down the daam to the kitchen, a question came to my mind.
Where is he now?
I haven't seen him since that incident, he hasn't come to the house either. Maybe he did the right thing to stop my fantasizing.
I took a glass from the container. I don't feel like celebrating with them now but my friends are here so I have to smile in front of them even if I try to smile. What a waste of our achievement, to finish high school with flying colors, if we don't have fun.
I was surprised when a broken glass suddenly fell from my hand and the glass spread on our floor. I picked them up one by one, even though I knew I would be hurt, I continued.
My friends came. Their faces showed concern for me, Maybe they already know the reasons why I'm like this.
"Oh my God! What happened here?" I heard Arnica ask behind me now
"We'll take care of that" Keisha said as she tried to lift me from the floor.
"No, I'm here. Come back there" I insisted. My"It's not your fault. I choose to fall for him yet my choice is the reason why I am suffering right now" I didn't want to reply to him
"No, it's his duty to caught you whenever you're falling cause he let you love him in a long period of time but he wasted it. He's so stupid" he said irritably to me
"No, his obligation is to love the person he wants and not to share other people's feelings for him. Besides, it's my fault, I have to face the consequences of my choice" I told him sadly.
My problem is, I chose to fall for him even though I wasn't sure he would catch me
"Don't worry Zyrah we're always here to help and make you happy unlike him, we won't never leave you" Arnica replied to me
I just smiled at her even though it was mixed with resentment. Keisha came in immediately, also confused by the incident. She confronted Arnica and me. There was a streak of sadness in her eyes so I was nervous about what she would say.
"Arnica I have bad news for you" he began
"What's that Keisha?" Arnica said unconsciously
"Your dad is gone" Keisha added. My lips quivered when I heard the words Keisha said. Tito Nilo is gone, my friend's father is gone
Suddenly Arnica stood up and seemed very angry with Kei "Don't joke like that! You know Zyrah is going through something and then you're going to fool around!" She shouted at Keisha. Arnica wasn't serious about Keisha's news about her. I know he was shocked and saddened by that incident as well
"I swear I'm not lying Arnica. Your mom called me earlier. She chose to tell me first so that you wouldn't be too surprised and hurt. She's sending you home so you can see what happened to your dad" Keisha replied in a serious tone
Arnica sighed and cried for a long time. So many tears dripped from her eyes. We went to her and immediately hugged her. There is nothing more painful than losing a father, I feel so sorry for her now. Am I to blame for destiny? Why even my friends feel sorry for my misfortune
"And Zyrah, maybe the I won't be sympathetic to you right now. Besides you and Arnica, I also have a problem. My sister texted me that Lola was in the hospital and was dying. She said she wanted to see me first before she was stabbed. breath "Keisha sobbed
Suddenly I was stunned, he left, Mom and Dad left as well as my friends will also leave me? Did I do something bad in the world? Why am I suffering like this now?
"Sorry Zyrah but we have to go. Is it okay with you?" Arnica said to me heart is like the crystal glasses around me now
"Yeah sure no problem I'll just visit you two later" I said
"Oh your such a thoughtful friend" Keisha replied softly and I returned it sweetly but with a smirk.
"Sorry for your loss, condolence Arnica"
"Thank you Zyrah, how come we're really leaving"
"Yeah take care I love you both"
"We love you too"
And they have completely disappeared from my sight
I went to the kitchen and found my waking brother who was obviously awake from his gimmick last night.
"I guess how long did it take you to come home last night?"
"It's been a long time since our farewell party so we're all awake and it's still tiring"
"Eh why did you go home? You can just sleep there eh"
"Yes"
"So you really want to sleep there with Jaylyn ha" I teased her.
You can do that, Zyrah, just look okay in front of them so they won't worry about you anymore. Just smile, it's okay, they said a smile hides a lot of pains
"Yes .... I don't really want to go there! That woman is so cursed" he refused
"Suppose I know you like him" I insisted
When the day comes, Kyle, you won't deny it anymore, instead you will shout to the whole world that you love him. As you did, but I hope your life will not be like mine.
"NO!" the tone of his speech increased meaning he was already annoyed with me
"Ops what's going on here huh?" Said Calli as we unloaded our dish
"No, it's just Ate Zyrah who tends to blame" my younger brother said angrily
"Did he accuse me and you" I said sadly. I remember him again, it's annoying why he doesn't disappear from my mind ha
"Please be patient, Zyrah, you know she's going through something, don't you?" My older sister said calmly.
Kyle's fist clenched and his anger seemed to get worse than before
"Not only will that stupid man not really come back here but I will really attack him" he replied seriously
"Kyle stop there "when I weaned him but he still didn't stop talking badly about the man who cracked my heart
"That naughty man just hit you. He should at least taste the blow so that he is aware of what he is doing to you!" He said as he stood up from his seat.
"Stop it" I scolded him but still not in listening to me
"It's the thickness of that man's face. I didn't really vote for him but you insisted" his sharp eyes went straight to me
"KYLE, CAN I STOP THAT" I couldn't help myself and shouted at him
"BUT--"
"It's not his fault, okay? I'm the one who made a fool of myself so I just deserve it" Kyle replied angrily. Even though I'm angry with the person he's referring to I still can't blame him for what happened
"Don't fight at the dinner table! Is that what Mama and Papa taught you? Let's eat and we'll go to Arnica to empathize with them"Calli said seriously
Kyle and I stopped arguing and just followed Calli. I looked at the food on the table. There was rice, eggs, apples and hot porridge. Even though my favorite porridge was served on the table, there was still nothing. I have an appetite. I just stare at the food and I have no intention of touching it. While my siblings are very fond of what they eat, I am here suffering from sadness because of him
"Don't waste God grace Zyrah. It's bad to wait for food so eat there" Calli scolded me
He just wasted my love, he waited for me for a very long time but he s
He just wasted my love, he waited for me for a very long time but he still did not eat the love I prepared for him
I just tried to eat a piece of rice so that my sister Calli wouldn't be angry with me. I'm not hungry, my stomach isn't upset, I also have no appetite but I have to follow what Calli said.
While eating something suddenly entered my mind, words I used to say to myself. I still remember the word I wrote in my diary before that now comes back to my mind.
In a world full of what ifs they said you will meet someone who is willing to stay with you forever. The one who will not leave you, the one who is always by your side and the one who is always there for you.
Someone that make you feel loved everyday.Care and protect you like a rare precious diamond and rubies.Respect you like how did the late Philippine era's respect woman in their society.Give you freedom like how doves and birds fly to explore the world.
I had a lot of drama about love even though I was young in their eyes. They said that in my stage I only feel crushes for someone.
But I think what they are saying is wrong.
I know what is difference of love and crush.
And this I feel for him is no doubt that love is indeed it.
Suddenly my heart ached.While reminiscing those romantic ideas something comes up in my mind that before I thought that everything in this world will last forever but my expectation have been broken by someone who is not worth fighting for ...
"ZYRAH !?" I just heard my sister shout, returning to my trance. I think my thoughts deepened as much as I love her.
"H-ha? What's that sister?" I stammered to her
"You've been an idiot with your food for a while" he preached with a tinge of concern
"A-Ahh I'm just thinking" I said while smiling hard at them. I don't want him to worry as well as Kyle.
"But why are you crying?" He asked as if staring at me earnestly. I also looked at Kyle who was by his side and like Calli's reaction, he was also worried about me.
I know I'm not okay but I will never cry in front of them I will just look weak. I was just thinking before and I am not crying. All my tears are gone for him maybe there is nothing left
"I'm not ------"
I touched my face and felt the water in my eyes. I gently touched my hand trembling with nervousness.
I barely looked at the tear drop in my hand now. I thought it was gone, I thought I wouldn't cry anymore, I thought I forgot about him but here I am now. I cried again, and he is still the cause of the grains of tears constantly streaming down my face
The wind blew softly, I felt the heat of the surroundings. Suddenly my vision blurred as if everything around me was spinning. I felt hot weather, drops of sweat and tears continued to come out and flow. I just feel like I'm trying to stop the flow of tears from them. At the same time as I folded my eyes, I slowly remembered about us.
With the love that I should have in the first place, I have stopped
In love that is out of date and needs to end
In love that is almost successful and yet hospitable
When I fall for someone
there is no certainty that I will be caught...