He was everything but good. She was everything but bad.
-Unknown
Why was it bothering him so much? Why couldn't he stop thinking about the dull blue eyes of a woman he had just insulted? Why did he regret it?
The moment Olivia walked away from Xavier he started muttering profanities at himself, nonstop. He hadn't stopped, it was now about three in the afternoon and Xavier refused to eat drink nor read or sketch.
Why can't I be good? He thought.
"What do you mean Xavi?" His sister, Amelia asked.
Her blonde hair parted in the middle, gliding down her back, straight as a pin. She had her father's wild forest green eyes and a heart shaped face that she took on from her mother. She was about nineteen years of age and was watching Friends on her laptop.
He snapped out of whatever mystical trance he was in and looked at his teenage sister.
"Xavier, are you okay?" She questioned again. It was not until a few seconds later that Xavier realised he had voiced his thoughts out loud.
"Yes, yes, perfectly fine, just bring me my sketch pad please." He requested.
Amelia groaned out loud, not wanting to get up but nonetheless paused the episode of Friends that she was watching.
"Xavi, where is your stupid sketchbook?" His sister called out. Her voice was distant because the house was enormous. To Xavier she was personally an eejit, but she was his eejit.
"Its on my bedside table!" He yelled back, not bothering about the fact that he was probably disturbing his neighbours. He didn't have to, he lived in a manor.
The large, mahogany door opened and slammed shut signalling that Amelia had returned with his sketch book.
"Who is she? She's pretty." His sister's cheery voice rang through Xavier's ear.
"None of your business Amelia, go back to watching your show." He stated, sternly.
"Hey, isn't she the blind freak?" Amelia had a thick English accent as she had lived in South Wales for about eight years with her grandmother.
"She isn't a freak!" Xavier snapped, snatching his sketch book from her hands.
"Okay okay, calm down." She soothed him before going back to watching the comedy show on her laptop.
Xavier had no idea why he had snapped at his sister when she called her a freak, he did too but felt remorse after calling her one. Although he didn't show it, Xavier cared for the blind beauty. He couldn't stop thinking about her and her words.
You are wrong.
There is hope.
You helpless rat!
The words affected him more than they should've. At-least that is what he thought. He didn't know that deep and I mean very deep inside him was love. I know he didn't quite expect me to pay a visit this soon but I come and go and make people fall in and out of love for it was always my choice to choose soulmates. Who should be together and who shall break apart for they are not meant to be.
I had had the same encounter with Xavier's parents. An arrogant man and a poor cancerous girl. He was too arrogant to admit his feelings for her and she was too trapped to care about anyone surrounding her. But no one could blame them because for years and years they were put in their 'place' by the society. 'Love is for the weak' they say about me, when the actual situation is that they had never had someone to love as dearly. They were, as simply as I can put it, envious.
Envious of the feeling that is ever so passionate. Envious of the fact that people can be happy, that they can have their soulmate and not one issue, not one thing, could come in between them. Envious of the fact that I am so strong, I am worth dying for. I am worth everything and nothing.
"Dear Olivia,
I love you, just know that.
Whatever comes next won't matter. I had to put this in a tape for you because I didn't have the guts to tell you how I really felt towards you.
I have been in love with you ever since you were fifteen and we were unknown to eachother and the world, and yes it was the time when your parents died, a few days of seeing you in that coma and bawling your eyes out after that, I felt heartbroken and that was the moment I realized that I wanted you to be mine.
I didn't know you that well back then because I thought that one wrong move could ruin it all.
Did you know that we were born in the same hospital room? Crazy I know.
Okay, I think I am going off topic now.
I remember the day when we really started to get closer to each-other, it's like we have a connection.
Anyway, it was the day of my dog, Marry-Anne's death. I was about eight and you were six.
I remember crying on the porch when you came and hugged me from behind saying it was okay.
I remember you bringing me a stuffed toy dog the next day saying it was Marry-Anne. I still have that dog y'know?
That night, when I took you to the cliff. You stayed there all night. I came back Oli. I did, and when I saw you with that....man, I broke. I had to tell you. I was going to tell you the other day but then Pops came back from work so I couldn't. So I am telling you now.
I love you. And I do not regret it. I love you with no regrets, to the moon and back.
Love,
Rowan."
The recording ended as Rowan played it again and again. His first instinct was to write a letter to tell her. But then he remembered she was blind so that didn't work out so he made an audio tape on his recording machine, well his father's.
He didn't know how to even give the tape to the love of his life, to his everything, to his one.
He wanted to scream it out in her face. He wanted to cherish her and kiss her and love her.
"Ro?" His beauty called out.
"Yes Oli?"
"What did you have to ask me last night?" She asked.
"It was nothing Oli, rea-" He was cut off by Olivia.
"You called me Olivia instead of 'Oli'. It seemed pretty damn important. Come on Rowan, just tell me." She insisted and he couldn't resist.
Rowan looked around his small room and got up, grabbing Olivia's hand and walking out of his room and his house not before yelling a quick goodbye to his mother.
The couple walked down the road to the tiny and only cafe and coffee shop in the town.
Olivia felt Rowan's warm hand tug at hers when she slowed down. His large and warm hand felt nice fitted into Olivia's cold and frail one.
Rowan was fairly handsome, his chocolate brown hair was a mess on top of his head, his fair skin complemented his blue eyes. A cute nose and pink lips.
He was wearing a sweater with black and teal strips with some black and white classic sneakers paired with black jeans.
As for Olivia, she was wearing her mother's cream coloured knitted sweater paired with black ripped jeans and a scarf. A pair of cream uggs on her feet to keep her warm.
"Where are we going Ro?" Olivia asked, clearly uncomfortable with not knowing where she was going.
"To the cafe, we're almost there." He replied.
The bell dinged as the two entered the cafe.
They took a seat in a booth near the end of the cafe so they don't get identified.
"Hi!" A chirpy waitress said, "I am Makaela and I will be your waitress today. What would you like to eat?" She had a thick english accent that Olivia immediately took an interest in. people in her town didn't have a very heavy English accent, it was rather faded.
She was overall a friendly and beautiful waitress with fierce red hair, pale skin with ocean blue eyes. She reminded Rowan of Beverly from IT.
"The lady will have-" Rowan looked at Olivia before saying, "-a chocolate milkshake and a strawberry milkshake for me."
"Great, your milkshakes will be here shortly."
With that, the waitress walked away.
"So..." Olivia stretched the word, "..what did you want to talk-o 'bout?"
Rowan chuckled at her awkwardness towards something serious. Nervousness clear on her face.
"Well, I have-" He cut himself off. "I want to say-" Rowan cut himself off yet again. "Sh*t!" He murmured to himself as he couldn't find words to express himself.
It was hard for him to tell her how he felt after years of hiding it from her, but he knew he had to before someone else came into the picture and ruined it for him.
"Look, I am just gonna come out and say it, I-" He was cut off. Again.
"I am seriously starting to think your a thief. First my spot and then my booth?" The handsome man voiced his thoughts.
"I'd say you are stalking me." Olivia replied in monotone. Recognizing the voice immediately.
"Stalking? I'm rather busy all the time, I don't have time for nonsense as such." Xavier's tone was icy and harsh.
"I'm sorry to have taken your booth, but I don't think your name is written on it, is it Ro?" She retrots, her tone equally as icy and harsh.
"Oh shut up." He said seriously, though there was a hint of humour and amusment in his voice.
"Don't have a snarky remark no more Mr. Malone?"
"Not quite Ms. Carvier."
The girl behind Xavier that so happened to be Amelia, snickered at the two bickering like children.
"Olivia? Who is he?" Rowan, who wore a mask of confusion and anger, asked.
"Oh, this is Xavier, Ro, he's..." Olivia trailed off not knowing her relation with Xavier. "An acquiantence, I think." She completed her sentence.
"Pleasure." Xavier extended his hand towards Rowan, a frown etched on his face but his tone was light.
The two men shook each-other's hands firmly. Too firmly, as if competition were meeting competition. Both men had their eyes roaming eachother's bodies to check the physicality of their opponents and alas, glaring into their competition's eyes.
When their hands parted, Xavier glanced at Olivia before saying;
"May I talk to you Ms. Carvier?"
"Certainly not Mr. Malone, as you can see, I'm busy."
"It's urgent." He tried to convince her.
"Hey man, she said she was busy. Back off." Rowan butted in.
"Perhaps, if it's urgent, I can spare a minute or two." Olivia hesitantly said. She had felt the urge in Xavier's tone thus allowing him to talk to her.
Xavier sighed in relief and told Amelia to escort herself and the other 'young man' out of the cafè, after a few moments of hesitation, Rowan followed Amelia out of the cafè.
"I just want to say-" He started but couldn't get the rest of the words out. "I just want to say that I'm s-s-s-sor-" He stopped himself, running a hand over his face.
"Idiot! Just say it and get out!" He hissed at himself under his breath.
"You are wasting my time Mr. Malone!" Olivia grumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Let me talk!" He snapped taking a deep breath, "I just want to say I'm sorry!" He rushed the words out all at once.
"Done! Good! Now get the hell out!" He instructed himself.
"Jolly good day ain't it?" He continuoued, not following the instructions he previously muttered to himself.
"Indeed, I just don't have the eyes to see it." Olivia said, slightly irked by the young man's behaviour.
"Sh*t! I apologize! I must be on my way now! Good day!" Xavier felt like an eejit being so nervous, he was never nervous, but then again he was never sorry either.
He pressed a button on the arm rest of his wheel chair that made it move. As he turned away, and made his way out, everyone was staring at him, because gone was his nervousness and came back the aura that held power.
The door opened and closed as the tiny bell on top dinged.
It wasn't until a few seconds later that the bell dinged again and Rowan came in.
"We have to go, pops called and he ain't too happy." He gently grabbed Olivia's hand and led her back home.
Home. Such a strange word. It could mean a lot of things. 'My home is on Willians' Street.' Or 'my home is my lover.' But one thing remains unchanged about it, it is where your heart and loved ones lie. You cannot call a place with no warmth, no colours, no photos, no dirt or messiness, home. Home is special.
***
It wasn't until a few hours when Olivia finally declared herself, bored out of her mind. She stalked around the house and her feet magically found a bedroom, Rowan's bedroom.
She entered the toasty room. It was too neat to be a growing boy's room.
His single bed was in the middle of the room with blue sheets covering the mattress. Right in front of his bed and against the wall was his desk and an office chair. On the right side was a medium sized window and under it were some bean bags and a small shelf next to it which was stacked with books. There were posters of bands like Nirvana and Queen, Back-Street Boys and many more above his bed. On the left side was a door, which was probably his bathroom. The navy blue walls gave the room a boyish aura.
Olivia rummaged around the room until her hand landed on an out-dated recorder.
She giggled and pressed the play button, having no idea what was on that tape.
The tape begun,
Dear Oliva,
I love you, just know that.
She listened to the whole tape with patience, not believing one word.
The tape ended and she played it again and again and again, tears streaming down her face.
She played it all over again until Rowan entered his room, surprised to see Olivia settled on the floor, facing away from his.
A sob escaped Olivia's mouth as Rowan rushed to her. He crouched down and pulled her to his chest for a hug.
"Hey, are you okay? Calm down, it's okay." He tried soothing her.
"Is it true?" Olivia choked out.
Rowan was puzzled for a moment but when he saw the tape resting in Olivia's hand, everything in his world came crashing down.
He closed his eyes, tears of his own rushed out of his eyes and when he opened them, he broke.
"Do you love me?"