The shine of the sun wakes me up from asleep. It feels like it's going to be a bright and good day today. I stood up and looked at Kath, I went to the back part of the restaurant where Kath's house located. I knew I will found her here, she's sitting beside her mom that is peacefully sleeping. "I should have given her the money before I died. So that she will not struggle anymore," she said as she stared at her mom. "Why not try it again?" I said and I meant about haunting. She went to the wall where she hides her belongings before when she's still alive, she hid the money that she saves there.
She starts tapping on the wall, hoping that her mother could hear and drag her attention on the wall. But nothing happens, I looked at her and she suddenly becomes gloomy. I walked closer to her to comfort her. "I bet you still need to do something," I said, every ghost who wanders here, still has something to do first. "What do you think is it?" I asked her, I hope she knows it. Not like me, I know nothing about everything in my life. I don't know what to do because I forgot everything about my life.
"I know what it is," she said then she suddenly walks away. I followed her, I know she needs someone to comfort her. She seems to have trouble with somethings, maybe that is why she can haunt and help her mom. "I haven't told you how I died right?" she asked me and I realized that she hasn't and I wonder why she didn't tell me about that a long time ago.
"I was murdered, Anika..." I got shocked by what she said. I feel bad about what happened to her. "She's a bully, she hated me when we were in college. I asked her, what is the reason for hating me and bullying me." she stopped and took a deep breath before saying, "She hated me because of who I am." then she started crying, I walked closer to her and gave her a pat at her back. "She hated me because I'm too kind, I'm too generous, and that everyone likes me, but not her. We were talking on the rooftop of our department building, she got badly mad at me and she starts pushing me off the edge..."
"I can't believe she calls herself a human, she's not a human. She doesn't have a heart." I pat her back gently to calm herself a little. "You know being kind is a good thing. The problem is that those people who can't do things like the things that you are good at. You did nothing wrong, she's the one who made a mistake." I said and I waited for her response after she calms down.
"The thing is... that I still haven't accepted that I'm already dead even if I'm already dead for 8 years. I know that acceptance is the first thing I need to do, but I still can't do it until now." I suddenly thought about something that could help her but I think she wouldn't like it. "You know, in order to accept it..." I stopped because I'm still thinking about if I should tell her or not. But I wanted to help her so that she won't suffer anymore and she'll be at peace. "You should face her." she looked at me but I just smiled at her. "If you wanted to help your mother and you will be able to go to the afterlife, you should face her and forgave what happened." she suddenly looked down and gloomy, I know it will be hard for her but this is the only way to achieve her peace and to help her mom. "I'll think about it," she said and I nodded as a response.
My hardships are different from hers, but I know it will be hard for us ghosts who were left here on earth. We need to accept, do, or face everything that we fear in order to achieve that peace and the afterlife that we longing to achieve. We just need to be strong in order to do such things.
The day after, Kath suddenly approached me and sat in front of the table that I was sitting. I asked her what is bothering her then she said, "I thought about what you said yesterday and I think I should do it. Would you help me?" she asked me, I gave her a little smile. I'm proud of her, facing her greatest fear and accepting what happened to her before.
Thinking about that, what would be my greatest fear? I don't even know what that is, maybe knowing about everything is my fear. Maybe that's the reason why I forgot everything about my previous life.
"Kath, do you know where she would be?" she said as we walk toward the exit of the restaurant. I know it's her first time going out after 7 years, she told me that she tied herself here in the restaurant but the truth is she doesn't want to leave her mother. She stopped before stepping her first step outside the restaurant, she took a deep breath then took her right foot forward. I smiled at her and at the same time, I became proud of her. "I think I know where she is."
After a few hours of walking, we finally went to an old building with a small food tent at the front of the building. Kath looked at me with uncertainty if she will still continue this. "You can do it, she won't be able to see you, so you can look more closer to her." she suddenly points to the small food tent. "I know she works there at the food tent, and I can feel that she's right there." I first walked closer to the food tent to see the woman that is selling food.
I saw a long brown-haired, and thin woman selling fish cakes and beer at the small food tent. She doesn't look like someone who can bully someone. She seemed nice, but looks don't really define who they really are. I looked at Kath and said, "I think that is her, would you like to hold my hand before you look at her?" I asked that because I know it will make her heart heavy facing the woman who murdered her. She took my hand and we walked slowly. As we walked closer to her, I let Kath know that I will be there for her. I would help her remove her pain in her heart.
She suddenly stopped when she already looked at her. I looked at Kath to see if she's still okay, yet she is okay. Kath just stared at her like she's slowly feeling better, it looks like her fear is fading away. We just stood there watching her do her work until she closes the food tent. When she's done closing the tent, she stood and looked at the sky. I think she's sad, the sadness is painted on her face. "Another day has ended." she took a deep breath then walked towards the building. I guess she lives here. Kath and I decided to follow her inside.
When we entered her apartment, we saw a lot of burned cigarettes and bottles of alcohol. "Ugh! That smell," I said as I cover my nose, I hate the smell of cigarettes. I saw a middle-aged lady sitting lazily on the couch with cigarettes in her hand. "Can you please at least throw the bottles?" she said while picking the bottles around. "You have a huge debt to me and you still haven't paid after all these years. You should serve me first until you paid your debt!" the lady shouted angrily. I guess this is the reason why she envies Kath. Kath has a family that loves her, she kind and everyone loves Kath. Maybe she wanted everything that Kath has, to have a family that would love her too.
After she throws the bottles, she immediately when to her room. She lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Kath walked closer to her, "Mei, do you remember the first day of our college year as freshmen? You were the first person that I talked to that day." Kath's tears slowly running down from her eyes. She talks to her as if she can hear her. "But why? Why did you hate me just because I'm too kind? I thought you were my friend..." suddenly Mei burst out of tears.
"Why do I feel like I can hear you?" she said as she cries her heart out. "I'm sorry... I put my anger on you. It's bad, it's a mistake. I'm really sorry... I just wanted to have your life. A life of a family that would love me too. I really envy you, Kath..." Kath tried to hold Mei's hand and said, "I forgive you." Kath suddenly shines for a few seconds, after she said those words. Then she smiled at me like she's already healed.
I'm really happy that she's done with the first thing she needs to be done. I'm proud to help her this way, maybe the last thing she needs to do is to help her mother.
And I hope that I could do that soon.
To be Continued...