Here the darkness begins eternal. There is no sun, no dawn, just the personal gloom of night. The only illumination comes from jagged forks of lightning, carving a wicked path through angry clouds. In their savage wake thunder shreds the sky, unleashing a torrent of hard, cold rain.
The storm is coming, and there is no escape.
Jaina's eyes snapped open, the primal fury of her nightmare wrenching her awake for the third night in a row. She lay still and quiet, turning his focus inward to ease the pounding of his heart as she silently recited the opening line of the Jedi mantra. There is no emotion, there is peace. A sense of calm settled over her, washing away the irrational terror of her dream. Yet she knew better than to merely dismiss it. The storm that hunted her each time she closed her eyes was more than just a nightmare.
Conjured up from the deepest corners of her mind, the storm had meaning. But try as he might, Jaina couldn't figure out what her subconscious was trying to tell her . Was it a vision? A long forgotten memory? A vision of the future? All three?
Careful not to wake her husband, she rolled out of bed and went into the refresher to splash some cool water on her face. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she stopped to study her reflection.
Even now, two standard years after rediscovering his true identity, she still had trouble reconciling the face in the mirror with the woman she had been before the Jedi Council had turned her back to the light.
Jaina: Jedi, hero, traitor, conqueror, villain, savior. She was all these things and more. She was a living legend, the embodiment of myth and folklore, a figure that transcended history . Yet all she saw staring back at him was an ordinary woman who hadn't slept in three nights.
Fatigue was taking it's toll. Her angular features had become thin and drawn. Her pale skin accentuated the dark circles under her eyes that stared back at her from deep hollows. Bracing a hand on either side of the sink, she slumped her head and let out a long, low sigh, her blonde, shoulder length hair falling forward to cover her face like a curtain. After several seconds she stood up straight, using the fingers of both hands to sweep her hair back into place.
Moving quietly, she made her way from the refresher across the small living room of her apartment. She proceeded out onto the balcony, where she stopped and stared out across Coruscant's endless cityscape.
Traffic in the galactic capital never stopped, and she found the constant buzzz of shuttles speeding by soothing. She leaned out over the railing of the balcony as far as she could, her eyes unable to pierce the darkness to make out the planet's surface hundreds of stories below.
Don't jump. I don't want to have to clean up this mess.
She turned her head at the sound of Carth's voice behind her.
He stood at the threshold of the balcony door, the bedsheet draped around his shoulders to ward off the night's chill. His short brown hair- was messed up and curly. His face was only partially illuminated by the glow of the city below, yet she could see his lips pressed into a wry smile. Despite his joking words, she could see real concern etched on his features.
Sorry, she said, stepping away from the rail and turning toward him. Didn't mean to wake you. Just needed to clear my head.
Maybe you should speak to the Jedi Council, Carth suggested. They might be able to help.
You want me to ask the Council for help? she echoed. You must have had too much of that Corellian wine at dinner.
They owe you, Carth insisted. If it wouldn't for you, Darth Malak would have destroyed the Republic, eliminated the Council, and all but wiped out the Jedi. They owe you everything!
Jaina didn't answer right away. What he said was true- she had destroyed Darth Malak and the Star Forge. But it wasn't that simple. Malak had been Jaina's apprentice. Against the wishes of the Council, the two had led an army of Jedi and Republic soldiers against Mandalorian rairaiders threatening colonies in the Outer Rim... only not to return as heroes, but as conquerors.
Jaina and Malak had both sought to destroy the Republic. But Malak had betrayed his Master, and Jaina had been captured by the Jedi Council, barely alive, her body and mind shattered. The Council had saved her life, but they also stripped away her memories and rebuilt her as a weapon that could be unleashed against Darth Malak and his followers.
The Council doesn't owe me anything, Jaina whispered. All the good I've done can't balance the evil that came before.
Carth brought his hand up and put it gently but firmly on Jaina's lips. Don't talk like that. They can't blame you for what happened. Not anymore. You're not the same woman you were. The Jaina I know is a hero. A champion of the light. You defeated Darth Malak and his apprentice Bastila Shan.
Jaina reached up and wrapped her fingers around the delicate hand resting on her lips, then softly pulled it down. Like you and the Council redeemed me.
Carth turned away, and Jaina instantly regretted her words. She knew he was ashamed of his involvement in her capture and his role in erasing her memory.
What the Jedi Council did was wrong. At the time they thought that they had no choice, but if they had to do it all over again-
No, Jaina said, cutting him off. I wouldn't want to change anything. If none of this had happened, I might not have found you.
He turned back to face her, and she could see the hurt and bitterness lingering in his eyes.
What the Council did to you wasn't right, he insisted. They took away your memories! They stole your identity!
It came back, Jaina assured him, pulling him close and wrapping her arms around him. You have to let go of your anger.
He didn't fight her embrace, though he stood rigid at first. Then she felt the tension melting away from his body as he lowered his head onto her shoulder.
There is no emotion there is peace, Jaina whispered, reciting aloud the same words the Jedi Council had sought solace in.
They stood there in silence, holding each other until Jaina felt him shiver.
It's cold out here, she said. We should get back inside.
Twenty minutes later Carth was fast asleep, but Jaina lay on the bed with her eyes open, staring at the ceiling.
She was thinking about the Council taking her identity. As her mind had healed, many of her memories had returned, along with her sense of self. But she knew parts were still missing, possibly gone forever.
As a Jedi she knew the importance of letting go of bitterness and anger, but that didn't mean she couldn't still wonder about what she had lost. Something happened to her and Malak beyond the Outer Rim. They had gone to defeat the Mandalorians, but they had returned disciples of the dark side. The official story was that they were corrupted by the ancient power of the Star Forge, but Jaina suspected there was more to it. All she knew was that it had something to do with her nightmares. A terrible world of thunder and lightning, shrouded in perpetual light. She and Malak had found something.
She couldn't remember what it was, or where it was, but she feared it on a deep, primal level. Somehow she knew that whatever the terrible secret might be, it was a threat far greater than the Mandalorians or the Star Forge. And Jaina was convinced that it was still out there.
A storm is coming, and there is no escape.