My hand moves to extend a piece of maroon colored paper to the figure beside me. He accepts it and opens slowly.
"So in three weeks, huh?" he sighed.
"Should have."
I heard a heavy sigh.
"Invitations that have already been printed can't possibly be canceled right?" I said, smiling. There's no way she doesn't know there's fake behind the curves of my lips.
"I'm sorry." implied regret in his words.
"It's okay. After all, those five hundred invitations will soon hit the flea market. Who knows it can be recycled. Like love. "
I straightened my gaze forward. Looking up in the distance the sky escapes. An orange bias is visible. I think soon the earth will shift. From the corner of my eye I can see he turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry." he repeated his words.
"Can I get the invitation back? You don't want to keep it, do you? " I begged, ignoring the apology.
The man moved to hand back the maroon paper back to me. Its position is still open so that my eyes can clearly see the writing that is engraved in it. Straightforward, but impressed elegant. Is there a splash of love embedded there? I don't know how many tens or even hundred times I looked at that name. My name. And the name of my prospective bride. If only he was never that determined to cancel the wedding that was in sight.
"Don't ask me to see you again, Mas. Especially in this place… "The pain stabbed my joints even more. I got up. Staring at the man. My lips are trembling but I still have to say.
"This is our last twilight."
Nara ...
Nara ...
Nara ...
"Wake up ... lazy!"
I sat down as soon as a pillow landed on my face . I saw sharp eyes staring at me. Hey, how can he just carelessly enter here?
"Mas Jendra, why don't you knock on the door? This is the women's room! " I exclaimed, pulling the blanket up to the neckline. I don't want him to see my half open shoulders.
"Wait for breakfast. Father wants to talk. " he said then turned around, ignoring my protest earlier.
I suddenly remembered something. My forehead frowns.
"Wait!"
"Why again?" he asked without turning around.
"Earlier, Mas called me Nara?" I asked.
"When?"
"Time woke me up."
She chuckled. "Have you ever heard me call you that?"
"No." I shook my head slowly. My eyes are still on his back.
"Maybe you're dreaming." he said before leaving.
But I sure heard a half-whispered voice calling out that name and aimed at me. But my name is Kinar, not Nara, and not Kinara either. Only Kinar. Maybe it's true, said Mas Jendra, I'm just a dream. After that incident I often had strange dreams.
"Shine… !! Long !!! "
Mas Jendra's scream startled me. I immediately got up. Within seconds I was sitting pretty at the dining table where my father, mother, and Mas Jendra were waiting.
"Bagas where?" I asked.
"Already go to college. Can be late if you have to wait for you. " Mother replied.
"Sorry, ma'am." I said badly.
"Let's have breakfast first then talk."
I nodded and started to feed fried rice into my mouth. I saw Mas Jendra occasionally glanced at me by holding back a smile. I watched myself, is there something strange? Looks like not, except ... maybe there is drool still stuck in my mouth considering I didn't have time to wash my face
"Kinar, it's time you thought about going back to work. Don't just because of yesterday's troubles, you keep shutting yourself down. "
Father's words made me feel uncomfortable. I know for sure my parents are sad to see me. For about two months now I have been confined to my room more, never wanting to leave the house. I'm embarrassed to meet other people. Especially those who know about my marriage cancellation that is in sight. I chose resign from work. I mostly curl up on the mattress and pillows. Am I heartbroken? Do not know. Anyway, I'm really disappointed in that guy.
"I need an assistant if you want. Seruni maternity leave for the next three months. " said Mas Jendra.
"If Seruni comes again, I have to leave?" I was suddenly annoyed.
The man smiled. "If Seruni comes, you can help the others. Moreover, it is not certain, it is possible that her husband will move to another assignment outside the island and Seruni might come along. So you can still be my assistant. "
" It's not really nice to be a backup. " I pursed my lips and started lifting the dirty plates to the kitchen.
"I'll help you through everything." she said whispering while washing her hands.
Finally ... it's been a month since I joined the RajendraKemal Legal Consultant Bureau and colleagues. Not bad, I can socialize again with the environment. My friends, Mas Jendra and Mas Kemal, didn't talk much about my personal life, so I could be more comfortable in this place. Mas Jendra himself taught me many things. Behind his stern demeanor he was a good cousin. Even though all this time, even though we lived together since childhood, he never seemed to care about me, even when my marriage was canceled.
Mas Jendra is the son of my mother's older brother. We are five years apart. His parents died in an accident when he was ten years old. Since then we lived together. He also called my parents as Father and Mother.
"Mas, today I'm not going home together huh. Want to go for a walk first. "
" Where? Can't it be with me? "
I shook my head even though I knew he didn't see it. Maybe because I didn't make a sound, he stopped his work and looked at me.
I who understood his gaze immediately answered. "I'm in the mood to be alone."
I saw the frown on his forehead. Ah, why is that what came out of my mouth?
"I mean ... it's a girl's business." I said before he asked again.
"Alone?" he asked.
I nodded. "It won't take long. I'm not going home at night. "
" That's it. Later when it's late, contact me. Don't take a taxi, I'll just pick you up. "
I smiled affirmatively. I thought he was going to ask at length remembering yesterday I heard him talking to Dad, and Dad asked him to take extra care of me
And here I am. Lake. I glanced at my watch, seventeen forty minutes. To the west, the sun was starting to fall and an orange tinge appeared. Just like four months ago when I came to this place.
"Kinar ..."
I turned around to hear that voice. My body stiffened.
"I didn't know that you were still here."
He took a step towards me. That man. Rayi. The man who made the wound four months ago. I forced my smile.
"This is a public place right." I replied still looking straight at the lake.
"Do you hate me?"
"Hate ... I can't conclude it. But if you ask if I'm hurt, the answer is yes. I'm disappointed, a grown man like you is shortsighted. The bond is not to be mocked at will. If you are not sure, you should consider it from the start. See for yourself the result of your selfishness, not about me and you, but the relationship between our families. "
The man was silent. I myself don't know how I can take out the uneguneg that I have been keeping for a few months.
"Are you ..."
"No." I interrupted.
"If you want to ask if I have more feelings for you, the answer is no. Once again I emphasize this is not just about me and you, Mas. You hurt the feelings of those who love us. "
I gasped as he turned my body towards him. He grabbed my shoulder even though I tried to dodge.
"Can you go through a marriage without love, Kinar? I think about you. I don't want you to suffer marrying a man like me. "
" At least I'm trying to understand, bonding doesn't have to always talk about love. But never mind ... "I took his hand off my shoulder.
" I just want to apologize. " he sighed.
"You've said it many times."
"But you never once replied. I just understood even though you don't love me, but still I hurt you and have humiliated your pride. No wonder he beat me up. "
I frowned. He? Beat up?
"You mean ..?"
"You are lucky to have a brother like him."
Brother? Oh my God ... Mas Jendra?
Nara.
Nara ...
Nara ...
Do you see the dusk there? After dusk, I'll make it color for you ...
Red.
Yellow.
Green.
Hah !! I sat up at once. My breath is gasping. That dream. Dusk on the lake. A seemingly familiar male voice. I grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand and immediately took a quick sip. Suddenly I remembered the incident at the lake a few days ago and… Rayi.
"Nightmare?"
My eyes widened at the sight of the figure who was arms while smiling. Don't just enter my room carelessly! "
" Don't see that guy again. Especially looking at the twilight with him. "
The voice snapped me from my reverie. Spontaneously I turned to him. How did he know?
"Mas following me?" I asked demanding an explanation.
"I can't calm down if you're not okay." he replied still focused on driving.
"I'm fine."
"Your eyes talk differently. Don't say you still think about that cowardice. " I heard a tone full of displeasure in his sentence.
I bit my lip. There are things I really want to ask him but I doubt.
"Mas ... why did Mas Jendra have to beat him up?" I asked carefully.
The man was silent. I almost swallowed my curiosity back when I felt the car pull over. Mas Jendra turned off his car engine and looked at me.
"Should I explain the reason?"
I don't know why I was silent even though I actually wanted an explanation.
"Can you believe there is a rainbow after sunset?" ~ "Rainbow ...?"
How could it be? Rainbows exist because of the sun. Where are there rainbows at night?
"Red ... yellow ... green ..."
I immediately covered my mouth with my hand. Suddenly I understood something.
I threw myself into the car seat. I can still hear the sigh beside me.
"That's not a dream, Kinar. That's my whisper in your ear. "
No wonder it feels real.
" I don't know if this can be justified because after all our bodies still flow the same blood. "
I was surprised when Mas Jendra grabbed my hand and put on a bracelet silver on my wrist.
"Nar ... ra ..." I spelled reading the engraved writing there. Narra. Double R.
"... Kinar ... Rajendra ..." I softened.
The man just smiled faintly.
"Let fate guide us. But one thing, I will try to always put a different color on your day. "
" Like a rainbow? Mejikuhibiniu? "
Mas Jendra chuckled. Turn on the car engine again.
I smiled and rubbed my wrist.