Standing in front of her was her father. He was coming down the staircase from above. Basked in glory, Eldridge looked absolutely phenomenal. He was the Emperor and that was the only thought that danced inside of her mind. He had such a commanding aura. It was possible to see the reason behind his reign—after all, he was glorified by those around him. Dressed in royal silks, her father looked stunning. His expression was rigid—she had studied his face time and time again. Lumielle had been colored in desperation as she begged for her father's appraisal. She wanted to be looked at, and yet all he did was cast his eyes to another.
How foolish.
Lumielle felt sick to her stomach as the young girl next to the Emperor was no other than Cosette De Saude. She had a smile on her face as she held the man's hand. She looked effortlessly beautiful. A pink dress coloring her figure, she looked like a budding rose with florets being intertwined with her pale tresses. They acted like a crown that adorned her head. Her shoes were pastel pink with diamonds coloring the heels. Makeup had been done with a light hand as the light scintillated off of her cheeks. Cosette looked perfect, utterly, and irrevocably perfect.
Why had she even placed faith in her father? Her hand was on top of his as they arrived. Murmurs already ripping through the crowd as Lumielle forced herself to curtsy. It was clumsy as she felt the shame and humiliation rise inside of her. She had been absolutely blindsided—it felt horribly chagrining to be so faithful. To devote reverence towards a man that had betrayed her before, she should have known. She should have apprehended that her father would have never trusted her. That meant that every interaction with him had been a farce.
It almost made her want to bitterly laugh. Scorn struck deep inside of her—lightning striking down like a hot flash as it spidered underneath her veins. She felt as though oxygen was poisoning her; her lungs felt heavy and her body refused to work. Lumielle had gotten her hopes up only for it to be crushed. Was there no way to change the future? Was this all for naught? Was this scheme just another torturous route where she was faced with the death of her brother?
"My friend, Duke De Saude, passed away today. In honor of his passing, I have decided to grant his last wish and help raise Cosette De Saude." Words fell through the audience but for Lumielle it was like a steel nail crucifying her. It was as if he was slowly pushing in the last nail in her grave; burying her inside a bed of roses. She felt as though she was drowning on land. It was impossible to breathe.
Those words. They were the exact same.
Did her father hate her this much? He was humiliating her in front of everyone. Eldrige was escorting someone who didn't even share an ounce of royal blood while discarding his daughter. He didn't even cast a look towards Lumielle. The cast of a paper princess, the one that she had so desperately tried to break was now becoming a reality. "I hope you will treat her kindly," Eldrige spoke, Lumielle whispered the same words.
It really was the same. He had spoken those same words in the last timeline as his eyes met his daughter's. This time, Lumielle kept her gaze on the floor. She didn't dare to raise her head. Her eyes were trained on the ground; she wanted to vanish. The crowd was murmuring and she could hear it all.
"The Emperor didn't escort his own daughter."
"Does he favor the Heir Apparent De Saude that much?"
"She's really pretty isn't she!"
"She reminds me of Eliard when she was younger."
"Does that mean she's the new Princess?"
"I wonder why he didn't escort the Imperial Princess. . ."
The music returned but the atmosphere was absolutely suffocating. It was a repeat; things were the same. She couldn't change anything. Lumielle had put hope into her father; she had thought that he would be able to fix things. He would be her salvation and yet, her hopes had been shattered. Like an ephemeral epilogue scattered in the wind. Petals that were decaying under the touch of winter, frostbite so cold that it iced the skeletal-like corollas into nothing more than glacial icicles.
"Mielle," Vera whispered her words sounding almost sympathetic.
A forced smile curved its way onto her face, "Sorry, I think I need some air."
Words were strained and for once, she was being honest. Her emotions felt unsteady, she felt as though she would fracture with how wound up she was. Her body felt as taut as a bow, so tense up that she would practically shatter with the amount of pressure that was on her shoulders. Turning around, she felt. Lumielle knew that she shouldn't leave; she should stand tall and simply act as if nothing bothered her. That was what she had told herself time after time again. Don't be shaken by Cosette. She knew that to be the case and yet, her body refused to listen. She was supposed to pretend that she was fine.
Leo lurched forward to try and follow her but Yennafer grabbed his wrist. She shook her head.
Everyone was staring at her as she pushed through the crowd, desperate to leave. All the whispers, all the rumors, all the eyes, it made her want to cower and disappear. Breathing felt like a chore as if her body wanted to shut down. The buzzing in her ears became silent as the doors were shut. She was in the empty hall.
Useless. Everything was useless. Her breathing sped up as her nails dug into the soft flesh of her hand. She closed her eyes as images of Aris's death flashed behind her eyelids. She was practically bedeviled by the lifeless look in her brother's eyes as he smiled at her one last time before being beheaded. His warm blood touching her feet as she screamed until her throat went raw. Cosette's laugh as she entered inside of the jail cell. The sword being pointed at her throat as Allard sneered down at her disgust painting his expression. Her father's last words being whispered in her ear.
Everything. Everything flashed inside of her head, pulling together her agony and her desperate attempt to change things. Her other hand tugged angrily at the ruby red necklace that hung around her neck, she was desperate to pull it off. The reminder of her father; the idea of change that she had put upon him. The chain was not going to come off as she tugged, harder and harder. She was desperate, absolutely feral. Her mind picturing Aris promising to protect her as the crowd cheered for his death. The glee in the faces that surrounded her as they placed her brother's corpse around to be paraded.
Angrily, she tried to rip the necklace off of her. Her neck aching, her hands almost numb as she continued to dig. Was someone talking to her? She couldn't hear, the faint remnants of the utterance of "Princess" being lost inside of the chaos of her mind. She felt bombarded.
There was no way to change anything. She had failed. She had absolutely lost. Cosette had won. All of a sudden, the tension in her necklace vanished. Flinging to the side, she heaved.
"Lumielle." Ah, she could breathe.
She was about to turn around but two arms embraced her from the back. "I'm sorry I was late," Asterias whispered. His words were soothing, his scent almost nostalgic.
"I'm sorry," Asterias murmured. He had seen it all. Asterias had arrived when the Emperor had, he had slid inside of the grand ballroom as his eyes were zeroed in on Lumielle. He had planned to surprise her. He was going to wrap his arms around her waist and place his chin against her shoulder. Yet, when he saw the scene in front of her, everything had crumbled down. She had looked surprised: hurt, anger, and betrayal flashing inside of her oculars before she turned her expression to the floor.
Asterias had never seen her make such a desperate face. He had always wanted to see her emote more—he had done everything he could to tease her, get under her skin. The slight color of her cheeks turning pink as he flirted with her felt like a win, but this was not what he had wanted. Lumielle looked as though she had shattered; it was as if she was breaking down, her mind becoming a cage as he tried calling out to her.
The devil was chasing after Lumielle for she flitted through the crowd and he desperately chased her. She had vanished before his very eyes, the words of the people turning against her. The Emperor had made her into a mockery and when he had finally found her, he had tried to call for her. Yet, his voice didn't seem to reach.
He had tried his hardest to call out to her but she didn't turn around. His eyes looked at her backside, her one hand wrapped around the necklace as she yanked it harshly. As quickly as he could, he unhooked it before wrapping his arms around her. It was what his mother did when he was upset. His arms were around her.
"Lumielle," he spoke again, "Your hands."
That was right. Looking down, she looked to see that she had broken the skin of her palm. "I-I," she whispered. It felt frustrating. It was as if she was attempting to beat a game where she could never become the victor. She was so confident. She had been so arrogant only to be toppled from her throne.
He was still hugging her. Was he taller than her? Lumielle still felt hazy, her mind buzzing in a million different directions. Cosette looking absolutely beautiful underneath the light and her father's words would be tattooed inside of her brain for centuries to come. That was right. Lumielle needed to steel herself. She couldn't be shaken because of this. Lumielle needed to keep her calm. Disarray did not suit her. The past could be changed. Asterias was an example. No one had come to comfort her last time and now, she had someone.
In her previous life, she angrily left before throwing a tantrum. Her irate personality towards Cosette had sullied the favor of those around her. How hilarious. She had been formerly humiliated and yet, she needed to act graciously? What a joke.
"It's ok," Asterias spoke. His words were simple. They were brutally honest. She wanted to believe him, "It's alright."
"I missed you," Lumielle responded, her voice breaking slightly.
"I'm sorry, I should have come faster."
The two didn't face one another. They had no idea what expression was painted on the other's face. Lumielle could only guess what Asterias looked like as the white-haired male did the best to conjure up what type of expression the Princess was wearing. "We should go back inside," Lumielle said, her voice still wavered as Asterias took that as a sign to let go. He didn't want to, his arms were still around her.
A beat of silence.
"We should," Asterias answered back.
Lumielle closed her eyes, the steady beat of his heart against her back was soothing. His scent and his touch—"I didn't give you permission to hug me," Lumielle spoke.
"I'll take any punishment you'll give me."
Finally, he let go. His hands grabbed her own as she turned around. He was dressed well. His white hair was growing longer; it suited him favorably. Bright cerulean eyes framed by light lashes stared at her; she cast her eyes away to look at the ruby necklace that she had angrily thrown away. Asterias snapped his fingers as the necklace floated upwards and attached itself back onto her neck, "It's a very ugly necklace."
"Aris said the same thing," Lumielle mumbled touching the stone. She felt exhausted; her breakdown was embarrassing as Asterias took her hand to inspect her palms.
Lumielle yanked her hand back, "Don't. I learned that you don't have the ability to heal."
"Ah, I was caught," Asterias spoke shamelessly, he smiled at her, "I never said I healed you, Princess."
"I was under the impression you did."
"That was just because you didn't know enough about magic."
"Are you calling me dumb?"
"If that's how you took it, then perhaps that's just a reflection of the Princess."
She wasn't fine. He knew that but Asterias didn't wish to press her even harder. He offered his hand and she took it without thinking for it was almost like a natural reflex for her. A light blossomed as she glared at him, the pain and wounds on her hand vanished as Asterias smiled, "Got you, Princess, ~" He was teasing her. He was desperate to see her as she normally was.
Asterias had never been more startled than to see Lumielle breaking down in front of him. She felt so small and he felt so useless.
Lumielle was too tired to fight back, "You're unbearable."