Cassidy's POV:
I stood by the truck waiting for Ryan, my heart still constricted an hurt. It's been just over 2 weeks since Beth had passed away. I didn't want her to go, she was my salvation in the crowd of gossip. I've spent my days and nights with Ryan helping him sort of. With the lights an gate tires an stuff.
The only thing that's saved me from the tears has been him an his family. They've all showed me what love is, Lilly has even warmed up ta me. She comes bounding outta the house now with a cute little dress on. Her little pink cowgirl boots flashing as she skips down the stairs an sidewalk.
I'm leaning on the truck with my cigarettello when she stops looking at me for a moment. She moves in an gives me a hug, her little blond hair all done up nice. "Cassidy," she says.
I throw my cigarettello on the ground stomping it, an look down. "Ya honey," I say tryin not ta break down.
"Your friend is with god now," she asks.
"Ya sweet pea," I breath out in a wavering voice.
"Than I think she's happy," she says.
"Hmmm, I think so too Lilly, she found her Prince Charming again," I say my tears threatening.
She hugs me again, "Cassidy," she says again.
"Ya princess Huu," I puff out.
"Do you think Prince Charming is real," she asks.
I close my eyes as her words hit me, remembering the conversation with Beth when I was her age. "Huuu Of course I do sweet pea, I met mine, he's my rock," I whisper crouching down.
"Do ya think there's one fer me," she asks.
"Yes princess, I know so, he will make yer heart pound an take yer breath away, as well as make ya feel special, and beautiful, but he'll be a good knight, maybe even have stuffed boots like Ryan," I said as my tears let go.
She wrapped her little arms around my shoulders, hugging me tight. "Cassidy," she says.
"Ya honey" I answer.
"I love you," she says.
"Huuu, I love you too baby girl" I sob out.
"Everything's gonna be ok" she says.
I take in a breath an for once I actually believe someone when they say it'll be ok. Her tiny hands run over my shoulders, "Ryan's comin," she says with a giggle.
I wipe my eyes an turn around to see him fidgeting with his cuffs. I can't help but to gawk, he's waring a black suit with a vest, and burgundy tie, white shirt, black boots and cowboy hat. "Hmhm, he is a prince isn't he," Lilly giggles.
"Huuu, ya, ya Lilly, he is," I answer her.
She skips off around an gets in tha van, he looks up an the sunlight catches his eyes. He looks me down an back up an smiles. "Well, I see ya went with tha dress," he said.
"Huuu, ya I, figured I really don't do it often so, hm, gotta give them somethin ta talk about," I say.
He steps to me an runs his hand around my side to my back. "Your so beautiful," he whispers.
"Hm," I acknowledge but it's hard to take still.
"Yer missing something though," he says.
I look up at him with a frown "what's that," I ask.
His hand comes up and trails down my cheek an neck then something falls outta his hand. I look down at it an it's a locket, there's two horses on tha front a mother an it's foal.
The foals head is under the mothers, it's beautiful, a rope edging holding them there in time. "Open it," he says softly.
I take it in my hand an open it, on one side there's a picture of Beth, on the other side me. My tears start again stinging my face, "oh Ryan thank you," I cry.
"Here, let me put it on ya," he says taking it.
I hug my middle as he steps behind an reaches around me setting it on my chest sliding it up to do it up. "Huuu, its beautiful thank you," I whisper.
"Somethin ta remember her with," he says quietly as he runs his arms around me.
He leans down an kisses my neck nuzzling next ta my ear. "I love you," he whispers.
I close my eyes an move my hands ta hold his, "huuu," I breath out.
"We ready," John asks walking up behind us.
"Ya," Ryan says.
His mom comes down the side walk as Ryan lets me go, he moved to open the door fer me. I can't stop starring at his mom, she's all dressed up with a little bit of makeup. She's so pretty, "wow" I say as she gets close.
"Yer good lookin yer self honey," she says smiling.
"Thank you, Darlene you look amazin though," I say.
"Hm, so do you love," she says takin my hand.
She's such an inspiration, strong an loving, don't take no crap an don't expect anyone ta do it for her. She moves to tha van as John gets in tha passenger seat. Turnin her chair she pushed a button an a lift comes down an moves her in. Takes the buckle an puts it on, this woman even threw a tragic loss of legs. She's still strong an independent.
I step over ta the door of the truck an Ryan takes my hand helping me get in. He closes tha door an walks around getting in, an starts the truck. I roll my window down an Darlene smiles, "will follow ya there," she says.
Ryan moves forward an nods "alright momma," he says.
Backs up an starts off down the lane Darlene following. I take out a cigarettello an like clock work he lights his lighter then he lights his Marlboro. The warm air funnelling in the windows as I take a deep breath.
Suddenly his hands on mine an he squeezes it. I look over at him with his cigarette in his lips, lookin kinda like a Jessy James. Hm, gun slinger outlaw, I think giggling ta my self. He looks over at me an takes his cigarette out setting his hand with it back on the wheel. "What," he asks.
"Nothin," I say with a small smile.
He gives me a smile an looks back out the window. Huuuuu, how on earth did I deserve tha attention of this handsome sweet man. I still don't understand why he loves me. Specially since we've been together sort of for almost a 2 weeks now. I still haven't gotten the courage to let him make love ta me.
Ryan's POV:
I wish I knew what she was thinkin, she sits so beautiful on tha seat of my truck. Huuu, god I love her so much. She undid her seat belt and slid over to me, buckled back in as she leaned her head on my shoulder an I wrapped my arm around her. She breathed in a shuttering breath an tossed her cigarette out tha window.
Moving back she put her arm around my middle under my suit jacket. "I'm with ya, ok, anytime ya need me, I know it's gonna be a hard day, an if ya need it, jus tell me lets go, an will he outta there in a second," I say.
"Ok," she answers.
She drew circles around tha muscle on my side sendin shivers up my spine. I take in a breath an let it out, shuttering from her touch. I wanna make love ta her, show her how I can over come her pain. But she ain't ready, so I will wait for her to be. I knew it was gonna take a bit for her ta warm up to that, an I didn't mind waitin.
I let her fingers take me away into the clouds as I watch tha highway. My body tingling, heart beating crazy, I never thought a woman could do this to me with just her touch. Her hand moved to my stomach circling the buttons on my shirt under my vest an jacket. Sweet unforgivable mercy this was drivin me.
"Huuu, Cassidy," I breathed out.
"Mhm," she answered.
"You uh huuu, you should stop," I breath out groaning.
She moves her head lookin up at me blushing, then her eyes find the reason why as her eyes meet just below my buckle on my pants. She looked back up at me apologetic, "sorry" she said.
"Huu, it's ok," I say swallowing hard.
She pulls her hand out from under my jacket an vest wrapping it around me hugging me tight. "I don't mean ta tease, jus touching you kinda calms me," she confesses.
I breath in a deep shuttering breath, "huuu, it's alright," I say.
She leans her head back on my shoulder huggin me tight as my hormones calm. Goin to a funeral with a hard on won't be good, specially with her family. I try ta think of something else an reach for the radio.
Desperado love by Conway Twitty is playin an I wrap my arm around her again. I can't help but attempt an sing it, failing cause I don't sing. She giggles and looks up at me, "horrible right," I say
"Actually your good, yer voice is deeper than his so it makes it kinda," she started ta say.
I shake my head "stupid right" I say.
"Mmmm, I was gonna say romantic an charming, hot even," she says.
"Ha," I laugh shaking my head.
She slaps my chest "I'm serious your actually a good singer," she says chuckling.
I think about this as the outskirts of Bozeman come in ta view. She looks over at it an sighs leaning back over, my hand sliding ta her hip. It feels so right havin her in my arm knowin she's my girl, my heart is happy.
I turn tha corner makin my way down to tha church, an she sits up. Taking in a deep breath, I move my arm from around her an squeeze her hand. "I'm right here," I say.
She looks over at me as we slow cars an people everywhere dressed in black. All headed to tha church ta pay there respects ta Beth. Cassidy's dad is standin with tha preacher at tha front door as we pull up. Momma turns around an pulls in ta the parkin lot handicapped parkin. I look over at Cassidy who's sitting with her head bowed like she's prayin. "Ya ready," I ask.
"Huuuuuu, as I'll ever be, I guess," she says.
I give her hand a squeeze an open tha door steppin out on ta tha street helpin her outta my side. She stands pullin tha skirt of her dress down an I put my arm around her. "Right here," I whisper.
She gives me a small smile an we start walkin towards the church steps. We walk up together an she slips in ta her daddy's arms. "Hey baby," he says.
He pulls her to his side an shakes my hand, "how are ya Ryan," he asks.
"I'm ok, considering tha circumstances," I say givin Cassidy a squeezed out smile.
I look over an see my mom, John an Lilly comin up tha ramp. "Blake I want ya ta meet my momma, her boyfriend John, an this is Lilly my nice," I introduce them.
Her dad smiles movin his hand from behind Cassidy ta shake there hands. They move to tha side ta talk an Cassidy moves ta me, Lilly movin ta the other side of me. "Pastor Michaels this is Ryan my boyfriend, an his nice Lilly," she announces to him.
He shakes my hand "nice ta meet ya Ryan," he says.
I nod to him an he crouches to Lilly's height, she hides in my leg. "Hm, nice ta meet you as well young lady, I bet ya like flowers don't ya," he says.
She peeks at him an he dose this little magic trick pulling a pink carnation outta his jacket arm. She giggles an takes it as he hands it to her, an Cassidy giggles too. "Hmhm, still doin magic tricks pastor," Cassidy chuckles.
"Well have ta give tha children some giggles," he says.
"Hm," Cassidy seams ta reminisce.
"Well if you'll excuse me I'm gonna get ready," he says.
He shakes my hand again, an nods ta Cassidy then takes off threw tha doors. "Well, we should head in," Blake suggests.
We all agree an move inside seein tha crowds of people in pews an standin. Cassidy squeezes me an we move to tha front following her dad. I look over seein her mom sitting with some other ladies on tha left side.
Just when I think Blake is gonna turn ta sit with her he turns to tha right side front pew an walks to tha end sitting down. I look down at Cassidy an she frowns, an pulls me ta sit beside her, beside her dad.
The pastor steps up an starts, "afternoon everyone, today we gather together in a sad time, but also a happy time as we are to celebrate tha life of a wonderful woman. One of the kindest, most caring women in our little town. Bethany Ann Silverton Gilberts, she was born an raised here in Bozeman, she attended school here as I assume most of you all did. Beth grew up in a time when it was proper to say please an thank you, yes ma'am, yes sir. She found her love at her place of employment at the age of 19 and never looked back. Her beautiful voice singing in tha harts of many. Bill Gilberts, was as she called him her Prince Charming," he stated.
Cassidy squeezed my hand an I looked at her as she started ta cry putting my arm around her tighter. Her dad held her other hand, an she leaned on my shoulder.
"Beth and Sheriff Bill were married May 30th 1957 a year after they met on the same day. Although they could not have children of there own because of medical reasons that did not stop them from sharing there love for others. Beth her self took on a strong roll in Cassidy Jenson's life looking after her part time from the time she was born, while her mother an father worked. She an bill moved to tha lake right after he retired but soon were forced to move back ta Bozeman when his health faded, he passed away suddenly also on May 30th 6 years ago. That is when Beth took on the roll of head cook at Betty's Cafe N Grill. The anniversary of Beth's birth, there meeting as well as there wedding, and there deaths are a now recognized date of happy as well as sad times in there lives as well as ours. They both will be remembered in our hearts forever," He said.
Cassidy shuttered out a breath her tears flooding now an I now knew how this path was going to play out. I squeezed her tighter as she sobbed in ta my chest. 5, 30 I thought, it clicked in, my hotel room 305, Beth's hospital room 305, who knows what else besides what I just found out.
"Let us pray," the pastor said.
Everyone bowed there heads, "Dear Heavenly Father, matchless in all Your ways. Lend me Your strength God and fortify my spirit during this time. Comfort my heart during this time of grief and give me the grace to withstand in the midst of it all because Your grace is sufficient. Holy Spirit keep me close. Wrap me in Your love and have mercy on my soul. Precious Lord You are acquainted with our sorrows, you are aware of the bitterness and pain of loss. Holy Spirit, nurture my heart and bring it back into restorative wholeness. Dearest Lord, heal my memories. Let them not be surrounded with the pain of separation but heal them with the promise that we will be reunited. Father deliver me and release peace into my soul, for You are close to the brokenhearted. Heavenly Father, restore my joy and do not let my grief consume me. Help me to live and find joy in life. Replace my mourning with gladness once again, in Jesus name we pray, Amen," he prays.
The congregation all repeating Amen, Cassidy too meekly. "Now we call upon those who would like to share heartfelt or happy times they remember with Bethany," he says.
Everyone looks around at each other an no one takes tha challenge. My heart clenches an I let go of Cassidy giving her to her dad. I stand up an walk up to tha podium. Pastor shakes my hand an steps outta tha way, leaving me to sweat. I take a deep breath an think.
"Huuuu, I uh, I didn't know Beth like most of y'all probably did, but when I met her, threw Cassidy, I knew she was an amazing woman. She was kind hearted, an accepting, an I know she loved Cassidy with all her heart, I just wanna take tha time ta tell her thank you for helping raise tha girl of my dreams, y'all did an amazing job Beth, you'll be missed greatly, but you'll not be forgotten," I say.
Cassidy sits up looking threw her tears at me giving me the biggest smile. I walk down an she stands up hugging me, kissing me. The crowd silently whispering, an then she takes a huge breath. She looks around at tha crowds an then at my mom an John, Lilly an finally her dad. He gives her a smile an wink.
He passed her a guitar, an she goes ta move, my momma catches her arm. Cassidy moves to her bendin over an she gives her a kiss on tha cheek whispering in her ear. I look over at her mom who's face is lookin angry. Shakin my head I sit down, an Cassidy takes off to tha front pullin a stool up to tha microphone in the middle stage.
She takes a deep breath, letting it out before she looks over at me. She's almost frozen an I mouth tha words. I love you, I'm right here. She gives me a small smile an adjusts tha mic, "huuuu, Beth was, a second mom ta me, I loved her, she was also my best friend, an taught me ta sing. Huuu, my fondest memory of her though is when I would stay over at her apartment, an she'd sing me ta sleep, an so, Beth, if yer listening, this ones fer you," she said, an started ta strum a tune.
She starts playin tha guitar an singing somewhere over the rainbow. It's one of tha most beautiful songs I've ever heard, perhaps cause it was her.