I didn't speak to Logan or his parents since that moment when he stood up to face off his father.
What I want to say I am afraid to because Logan would consider it mean and hateful, but I can't help how I feel and what I think.
One visit to his grandmother and he is ready to throw away the other relationships he has built over the years, including us.
After I refused to open the bathroom door for him, he didn't push me or screamed at me, he has just been silent since and it's a scary silent.
He's become dark and brooding like he did when I first tried running away, but this time it is so different. He is different.
Mom has been frequenting the Fashion House more regularly in anticipation of an upcoming fall show, while I am left on my own, unaware of what I am dealing with.
"Hey sis," Jer's jolly voice interrupted my thoughts.
I smiled but kept my eyes on the dark waters in front of me, trying to get the inspiration and peace, gramps got when he kept his eyes on the soft ripples.
Jer sat on the lawn chair that's conveniently placed where it's safest for me to park my chair when I come down here, which is everyday these days.
Jer passes a take away box across to me that smells like bar-b-que and I took it with a gracious smile.
"Thank you." I lifted the box to my nostrils inhaling the scent, my appetite opening up in an instant, lifting the lid of the box.
Lowering his eyes, "actually, Gray got it for you" Jer says, grinning mischievously, winking at me.
I slowly lowered the lid, suddenly uncomfortable.
"No Jamie, don't do that,"Jer advisies shaking his head in disappointment.
Ignoring his suggestion, I shut the box, giving it back to him.
"No thank you" I refused softly, the peace I was starting to feel a moment ago disappearing.
"If you knew what was actually going on, you won't behave like a spoilt bitch," Jer turned on me angrily.
Shocked at his outburst, I frowned.
"Since when have I ever been a spoilt bitch?" I retorted defensively.
"Since now," Jer responded shaking his head turning away from me.
Why would my brother suddenly turn on me in support of Logan?
"Do I need to know something which I am not privy to?" I asked cautiously.
Putting the bar-b-que on the lawn chair, Jer walks to the edge of the lake, raking his hands through his dark which is in dyer need of hair cut.
Jer suddenly turns and walks briskly up to me. Stooping in front of me his dark eyes giving me a silent plead.
"It's not my place," Jer admits, his eyes going beyond me, but I didn't dare turn around, hoping he wasn't staring at Logan.
Slowing raising to his feet, "eat the lunch and please don't give him a hard time," my wise brother suggest, but as his not so wise sister, I have not intention of listening to him.
"Gray" Jer greets Logan as he moves past me, but I stubbornly refuse to look at him.
From the corner of my eyes I see Logan picking up the bar-b-que and holding it in his hand, he takes the seat Jer just vacated.
"This has got to stop," Logan was saying but I kept my eyes focused on the lake in front of me, cutting his across.
"Yes, I agree, this has got to stop," I retorted.
Logan didn't respond and I took a risk to turn in his direction, suddenly mesmerized, by the deep blue that was staring back at me.
I gasped, feeling that I missed a breath for a second.
Logan's normal low cut facial hair was overgrown, his deep blue eyes surrounded by dark circles, a reflection of his sleepless nights.
I automatically touch my face, wondering if I look the same with all of my sleepless nights.
Chuckling, Logan looked away for a brief second, before turning back to me.
"Don't worry, you look beautiful as usual," he smiles at me, but his eyes was still dark with an uneasy reflection.
"You asked me to end this and I am doing what has to be done," Logan was saying when I opened my mouth to interrupt him. Raising a finger, he stops me, "I am not done," he warns me, shutting me up instantly.
"We already agreed that you will not ask me any questions" he reminded me, lifting a finger to stop me from speaking .
Glaring at him, I looked away but he continued speaking.
"I ended up finding out more and I believe the persons I first suspected were not involved in the shooting incident nor are they a threat to us." Logan says and this time I didn't allow him to silence me.
"And that's what your grandmother told you, right?" I threw at him in frustration.
Narrowing his eyes, logan stood up, "Jamie like I said things took a different turn..." Logan said between clench teeth, but I interrupted him again.
"And suddenly your grandmother's innocent of all wrong doings against me?" I spat angrily.
Logan looked behind us, then back at me, scoffing, "I think this conversation is over, until you are ready to listen to me," Logan said, his tone soft and threatening.
"Yes because it's the only thing you consider important," I continued angrily as Logan moved to leave. "We are supposed to be having the baby in less than two months and you still have no time to have that conversation." I stressed, my anger building, because of my frustration.
"You will not be having any surgery at seven months" Logan stated firmly, my eyes widening in shock.
Shaking my head, I move to stand up, motivated by hurt now.
"You don't have a say over my life and my body," I cried, slapping my chest.
Logan moved towards me, "Jamie, relax and sit down" he advise, his tone now softer but I was to angry to hear or care.
I slapped his hand away, but he anticipated that and grabbed me with his other hand, saving me from stumbling.