The entire doctor's visit was the most uncomfortable one ever, with Logan refusing to leave or stand aside. He was asking questions and his questionnaires confirms that even though he seem distant, during the last few days, I was never out of his line of vision.
I was secretly happy, but I still have so many unanswered questions that is still yet to be answered and I have no idea how to approach Logan with my doubts and fears. Maybe date- afternoon can bring some light to my questions.
When Dr. Morris who was finished examining me, left with Logan to check on my brother, I couldn't help but feel that Dr. Morris was not satisfied with my examination. I sensed it, not only from his expression but from my guts and according to grams, your gut never lies.
I used the time that Logan was with Dr. Morris and Jer to mentally prepare myself for bad news with the intention of doing better.
Mom who has been extremely busy for the past few days with her fall line, which includes a maternal line that she did for me. I still have to model the pieces, which was delayed because of Jer's injuries.
It's four dresses in all and I am excited to model them, doing my own makeup, although mom, insists that she brings someone in to help me because of the lightning.
The way that she's been encouraging Jer, I got the feeling that she is trying to help him develop his photography skills and I'm totally on board with that.
Logan still has mixed views concerning the shoot, but is quiet on for the time being. His mom says that he might lose it when the pictures are in.
"Jamie," mom greets me plopping down on the bed. "How was the doctor's visit?" She asks and I nod because I am unsure how it actually went. She smiles believing me and went on to explain that she would like to make arrangement for the first shoot tomorrow, because she wants the sun on the lake and he newly cut lawn around the property.
I chuckle realizing that she's the one who ensured that the property was cleaned up and why.
While we were chatting, Logan barged into the bedroom angry and started yelling unaware that his mother was there.
"What the f**k Jamie, I am not f***ing satisfied with Dr. Morris's diagnosis this morning." He stopped short when he saw his mother sitting on the bed of the other side of me.
He stopped for a moment, before continuing to vent his disappointment with my medical results.
I was wrong for playing Russian roulette with mines and my baby's future, so I didn't try to justify myself in anyway.
All I could think about the invitation he offered to me earlier, "does that mean we're no longer going on a date?" I asked, hoping that he'll still want to spend time with me and me alone.
Surprised at my response to his anger towards me. His expression softens and a small smile replaced the grim expression he wore, when he barged in a few minutes ago.
Shaking his head, "no our date is still on" he says, his eyes travelling to his mom, whose been sitting quietly listening to our exchange.
I couldn't hide the beaming smile on my face and the happiness I felt, to be spending extra time with Logan, alone.
Turning to mom, I grabbed her hand, "I've got a date" I squealed in excitement and she chuckles with me, before turning to her son.
"So,.where are you taking her?" She asks and like her, I can't wait to find out.
Chuckling, he turns and walks out the door, "it's a surprise" he says, shutting the door behind him.
Still laughing, "need help planning for your date?" Mom asks and I nod gratefully.
"Oh yes, please" I told her, squeezing her hand in excitement.
Suddenly mom got serious, "Jamie, you need to stop taking risks with your life. You have bee feeling better and suddenly you are walking all over the place." Mom chides me and I know that Shea right, so I remain quire and nod, in agreement with her.
Placing my hands on her lap, "I wasn't lucky to have another child, but Logan did complete my life then bought you into our lives and Francis and cannot imagine you not being a part of our lives." Mom continues her pep talk and I happy that Logan's parents loves me because, she wasn't treated right by her in-laws.
I've never heard her complain or be sad over it. "How did you feel when your in-laws didn't approve of you?" I said and a sadness seeps into her eyes, giving her a far off look.
Smiling sadly, "While we were at college, Francis proposed and as soon as I said yes, he whisked me away for a quickie Vegas wedding, just as my son did with you" she says and I remember, getting engaged one day and married less two days later
Mom continues and I didn't interrupt her, "I never met my in-laws, before and it was at the end of our third year at college that I finally met the senior, Mr. and Mrs. Daniels." she says, her eyes moist, with a bland look.
"It was the most horrifying experience of my life" she says, looking towards me. "I left Francis, who eventually found me and brought me back home, to live with his family." She continues, recounting her sad experience, with the senior Daniels.
I thought I was dealing with those monsters alone, but what I didn't realize, is that Francis didn't want me away from his sight while he fought for his freedom from his parents. I was still living with them when I got pregnant with Logan, which encourage my husband to leave. When Logan was born, his grandfather came with a peace offering and we forgive him and allowed him into our son's life. Our biggest mistake ever." She muses sadly.