Finishing dinner, Shen Yue returned to his bedroom. Upon opening the door, his eyes immediately zeroed in on the striking green color against the single-toned decor of his room. There was no need to guess who would place such an object in his room. Butler Wang would not do discreet acts like this without his permission. The only other person living in this house was that woman. The corner of his lips turned down subtly as he approached the small thing. Picking it up from his nightstand, he tore off the light pink note attached to the amber brown pot to read it. The characters of the note were neat and printed finely.
It read, "This was the gift I was talking about earlier. It's a Calathea plant and it means the 'start of a new beginning.' I thought it was very suitable for you so I bought it. You better take care of it well! I'll be checking!!"
Underneath the words was a small drawing of a cute blushing bunny with a tiny smile. Due to unconscious force, the note was crumpled into a pink ball under Shen Yue's large slender hand. His sharp sculpted facial features were twisted into a sneer.
'A new beginning.'
Was there even such a thing for a monster like him? He was the object of fear, a thing to be hated and disgusted. His entire life was stained with blood, bruises, and scars. He would be beaten. Again and again. Tirelessly, until that woman he called "mother" would become sober and cry. The cycle was endless and he had become accustomed to the pain. He was numb to the very core, indifferent to his harsh reality. After all, what was the use of crying? Crying was reserved for the privileged. Those who cried meant that they had the privilege of someone to comfort them, someone to love them, someone to support them. Even if he had cried, there was no one who wanted to comfort a monster.
Yes, he could hear the voices ever so precisely
"Monster!" they called him. The children's pointing fingers and frightened faces were reflected with such clarity it nearly stole his breath away. It was the same wherever he went. He had scared away all the children he had met because of his monstrous being.
Yes, it was the same word he had heard at the funeral too.
He was a monster child, one who had driven the suicide of his mother. None of his relatives wanted to raise an unlucky monster, bastard child without a father. He had heard it so much, so often that he had begun to believe the truth of it all. In fact, he knew long ago he was a hellish, repulsive little thing. When he had seen his mother dead in the bathroom, his first emotion wasn't grief nor was it sadness. It was relief. Relief that it was all over. Relief that he finally had salvation from the beatings, the scoldings, and the lashes. He had laughed for the first time at that home. It was a beautiful, melodious sound, much like the jingles of a wind chime. A peal of childish, happy laughter reverberating through the dank walls of the crimson bathroom.
Yes, he was a monster that had even laughed at his own mother's death.
The abominable thoughts he had locked deep within his mind was vigorously unleashed, breaking the shackles of his rationality. His eyes drowned in murky waves of paranoia and obscurity reflected his inability to think properly. And in that cold darkness, he heard the voices. It was a collection of male voices overtaking his mind in all directions.
The chants urged him, "You're a monster. Destroy it. You're a monster. Destroy it. You're a monster. Destroy it."
The incessant voices repeated the same words over and over again, consuming his mind like a pervading poison. They were building a crescendo of tension within him. His shaky hand reached for the plant.
Five inches.
Four inches.
Three inches.
Two.
One.
Just short of crushing the plant with his own fingers, Shen Yue spun madly around and looked wildly at the empty room, roaring into it.
"SHUT UP!"
"SHUT UP!"
"SHUT UP!"
He yelled again and again futilely. There was nothing in the room but it was there. The voices hidden in the cover of the night, relentlessly pushing him on. They could not be stopped no matter how much or how loud he had shouted. He had heard them very clearly, very precisely. It was there, and it was very real. It unceasingly continued to dominate his mind and he was powerless to stop it.
Shen Yue's elegant hands were pressed in a tight ball, turning his knuckles white. He could not help trembling all over. The atmosphere was suffocating him, stealing his breath. The sudden sound of an opening door stunned his entire being for a moment.
unimportant note:
ik ik this chap was very dark and depressing but i like writing stuff like this heh
if you can't tell already, he's experiencing an auditory hallucination