I sit through the lesson we were having on our second day of school. It goes by in the blink of an eye. I wanted to walk with someone to the next class but I couldn't ask. Anthony was still asleep must be nice.
Wait a minute did I just think about someone else I thought I shocked myself. I didn't think I could ever think of anyone but myself again.
On my way out I heard Mr. Ivens voice "Young man class has been over for 3 minutes It's time to get up what's your name?" I felt bad I could have helped him but I didn't and I found myself thinking what would Lizzie have done in that situation. The thought of her made me feel hot and I hated it. I'm sure I scared some people in the hallway trying to hide my face but I felt the strong urge to hide even more than usual. I can't control myself.
"Dammit!" I yell
I forgot where I was for a second but that one outburst sealed the deal. Suddenly people started whispering around me.
"I knew he was violent"
"Let's stay away from him"
"Who could be friends with an angry man like him"
It's always like this I don't ever change. I'm stuck in the past. I can't take this pressure so I leave like I always do. I feel like I always end up running from my problems but if Lizzie ever started hating me I don't know how I would feel. I need to change. Once I walk down the deserted staircase I find the emergency exit and walk out. It was strange how easy that was but the security has always been trash so I wasn't surprised. I was scared but I've been living like this for too long all I need to do is be natural. I'm going to confront Mom.
The walk to Moms house was lonelier then It's ever been with the unwelcomed company of the incoming winter. The nonexistent traffic made me feel alone but gave me the courage I needed to keep going. I never liked the loneliness I only got used to it.
I see the door and the nervousness builds back up Mom was always harsh with me but I have no idea what she will do to me when she finds out I skipped school. I don't own a phone so she has no idea I'm here yet I can still leave but I need this.
I walk up to the door and knock two times then step back
After a few moments I hear the door knob turn "Who is-" Mom stared at me "What the hell are you doing here your not supposed to be here until monday"
"I want to talk can I come inside?" I whisper
"What speak up I can't hear you"
"Can I come inside and talk to you?" I ask
"What are you talking about you know I'm busy-"
"Mom please this is important to me!" I yell
"Don't you dare raise your voice in front of me I didn't raise you to be like this you ungrateful little shit!" Mom screamed
I could tell she was angry at me but I couldn't get my point across any other way and I still failed in the end but I didn't feel like giving up today "Mom I'm sorry but i want to cut my hair" I couldn't look at her "So please let me cut it" I begged
My mom looked at me and frowned "Alright come inside let's talk about this sudden interest in cutting your hair"
I walked inside and shut the door after myself and walked into the living room It was always nice and clean.
Mom saw me standing around "Take a seat and tell me why you want your hair cut?" Mom told me
I took a seat took a deep breath and let it out "I think I would be better off without it"
"Think about that poor face of yours what if everyone sees it and makes fun of you" Mom cautioned
"I don't mind-"
"I don't care if you mind I mind a lot!" Mom screamed
"But people are already making fun of me for lots of things I feel lonely and I want to change" I cried "I met someone who told me my face wasn't all that bad recently and that made me happy"
"Nate listen to me I don't know who this person is and how they saw your face but It will raise unnecessary questions" Mom admitted "I'm sorry this is happening to you but you can cut It after you turn 18"
"Ok I understand I'll just go to dad!" I yelled
"GO TO YOUR DEADBEAT ASSHOLE OF A FATHER THEN!" Mom screamed "THE SAME ONE WHO STARVES YOU AND ABUSES YOU WHY DO YOU THINK YOU STILL GOT THAT GUT WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE FREEDOM IT'S BECAUSE OF ME"
"Dad told me you regret having me and that your both better off without me why would you say something like that" I cried
"So what if it's true I'm still taking care of you you ungrateful fucker I only had one rule and that was to listen to me without fail" Mom cried "But now that your in those teenage years you are acting up I'll forgive you if you drop this nonsense about cutting your hair nobody loves you as much as I do"
"Your lying to me you never showed me any love" I cried "I have to go"
"Nate I'll see you on monday I'll come pick you up this week" Mom said as I walked out the door in the end I'm still running away from my problems why do I always do this. I walked into a nearby alleyway and dropped to the ground and started crying. Nothing ever went my way.
"Hey kid are you ok" I turned around and saw an older guy laying in trash "You having a bad day too?" He asked
"Yeah"