By the time I got back to the corner table in the café the next day, I had realized that Meera wasn't happy to see me. She was upset and angry, but didn't speak of it.
'You have something to tell me?' she asked.
'Yes,' I began nervously. 'I thought I should explain to you why I left without telling you anything. 'I sensed that she was expecting something else and I let out a sigh and held her hand.
In her other hand, I placed a marriage card dated for 2012, three years ago.
Her eyes were filled with confusion, then anger as she read the names out loud.
'Vivaan weds Radha? You were married?' she asked with such anger in her tone.
'Meera,' I begged, 'will you please let me tell you the story before you react? It isn't what you think.'
'What I think?' Her voice rose an octave. 'You don't even want to know what I think!'
I blocked out her anger as I continued. 'I had been in love before, and it was too painful to talk about when you wanted to know my story. So I showed you in Kabir's eyes, his love story. Don't get me wrong, love is a wonderful thing! It is the beating of two hearts as they play the same song. I went to college with Radha. Everything was going great. We exchanged numbers and our relationship started blossoming into something more. We fell madly in love with one another; it was the type that made you feel dizzy.' I took a deep breath. 'We decided to get married.'
I could see Meera breaking down, but I had to continue.
'I was so excited when she agreed to marry me. She was beautiful, funny and very intelligent. She always tried to help people in all possible ways.'
'Vivaan,' Meera said coldly. 'I truly do not want to hear how in love you were!'
'Please, just hear me out,' I said, grabbing her hand to keep her from standing up.
She pulled her hand away from mine, but nodded. 'Fine. I'll listen,' she huffed.
'Thank you,' I responded. 'The wedding plans moved forward. Everything was coming together so beautifully.'
Meera groaned. Did she just roll her eyes? I wasn't sure. I knew I was upsetting her, but I really needed to push on and tell her the full story. She deserved to hear it.
I shuddered, bracing myself to tell her the rest of the story. I took a deep drink of water and pressed on. 'The day of the wedding came. I went to Pingale Garden where we were to be married. I was so excited; I couldn't wait to see my bride.' I took a deep breath. 'But she never came.'
Meera gasped in surprise.
'I tried calling her but she didn't pick up her phone. We waited for half an hour, then an hour. I was frantic. Radha was always on time and it was, after all, her wedding day.'
'What happened?' Meera asked quietly.
'She was missing for three days. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Nothing. The police came and for a few horrible moments, I was a suspect in her disappearance. Can you imagine? The woman I was to marry disappeared, and if that wasn't bad enough, I was accused of some crime!'
Meera shook her head violently. 'I cannot imagine,' she said. 'What a horrible thing for you to have had to deal with.'
I took a shuddering sigh. 'They finally found her body...'
'Her body? Vivaan, oh no.'
I nodded. 'She was on her way to the wedding and she wanted a few moments to herself. She was already dressed in her beautiful gown, with a stunning diamond necklace and earrings.'
My voice became flat, even to my ears. 'She was raped and murdered.'
'No!' Meera screamed.
'Yes,' I said with tears in my eyes. 'Her body was found in a park, half undressed. The jewellery was taken; even the earrings were ripped out of her ears!' I said angrily.
'Please, please tell me you were never accused of it.'
'No. I was at the wedding venue when she was ... killed.'
'Did they find who did it?'
'Eventually, they did.'
Meera didn't say a word. She didn't say she was sorry about what I'd gone through, like she had about Nisha's abortion or Kabir's story. She just sat there.
'So that's it,' I said and sighed again. 'Now you know why I can never return your affection, Meera. I am so sorry.'
'Are you okay?' Meera asked softly.
'I will be one day,' I responded. 'For now I just keep these memories tucked away in my heart. I never want to forget Radha and the love we had.'
I realized at that moment that my hands were shaking, and I was covered with sweat.
'The fateful day still haunts me. I wish that you could have met her,' I said. 'I know that's weird, but she touched so many people.'
Meera squeezed my hand, the only thing she did as her eyes had tears in them. She swallowed hard to prevent herself from crying.
'I was lost without her, Meera,' I said. 'And I still am.'
Meera was now crying as hard as I was. We both seemed to be feeling the pain of love. I didn't mean to make her cry again; I really didn't. But she needed to know my story and whom my heart had belonged to and always would belong to.
'I understand that you loved Radha and that you will always have a special place in your heart for her,' Meera finally said.
'I told you it wasn't what you thought. I never cheated on Radha in your company. I have no girlfriend or woman on Earth who inhabits that spot. This is why I decided to travel. I couldn't handle all the memories and nightmares that surround me with Radha. She surrounds me in every breath of Pune and India. She was what kept this place lively for me. There is nothing that has kept me here since. I travelled to try and free myself from the pain that I am constantly in from her loss.'
Meera nodded slowly as if she understood. I wasn't sure if she did or if she was just agreeing.
She wrapped her tiny hand around mine. 'I am sorry beyond words that you lost your bride on the day of your wedding. Radha sounds like she was a wonderful woman. She was very lucky to have you as her fiancé for the time you two had together. I know she would be happy with whomever you find after.'
'That's what I need to explain to you, I need to make you understand that I cannot love anyone else. I am too heartbroken and still in love with Radha. You must know why I cannot commit to you. I can't give you the love which you deserve. I am already committed to Radha, and you deserve someone who should be committed to you fully. I have enjoyed your company and the time we spent together; do not ever get me wrong on that. I just can't love you the way I love Radha.'
Meera stood up then, and asked, 'Why did you give me all those gifts? Why did you care so much? Why did you kiss me? Didn't you love me ever? Not for a single moment?'
Before I could answer, she left.